@raven78 A VERY pointed observation. It’s what I’m about to post about…
LONG RANT AHEAD
Holy cow this song is so relevant.
@EmilyQ I’m hoping you’ll be proud of me.
I legit brokedown on my ride home from bringing home Q’doba today, and in a good way. I had on a Kid Rock song I used to listen to in high school, the sun was shinning, it was a beautiful day, and I realized that, for the first time in a LONG time: I was happy. Not content, not at peace, not carrying on, but actually, legitimately happy. Joyous. Excited.
And the biggest change is that I’m finally eating the way that MAKES SENSE.
3 years ago I convinced myself that meat was the enemy. Prior to that moment, a serving of meat, to me, was at least 16oz. I suddenly transitioned to a world where 4oz was the standard.
I was starving. Meat was the basis of my nutrition prior to that moment. And without that basis, my bodyweight went into a free fall, hitting an all time low of 177lbs. I was absolutely jacked, yeah, but I was weak, starved, and scared.
I sought ANYTHING to fill the gap of meat, and was eating SO many science experiments, Frankenfoods, and starvation foods. And I thought I was thriving. I thought I was eating big. I’ve posted these meals before
That was a breakfast for me.
There is TWO ounces of meat in that. The rest is egg whites colored to look like real eggs, avocado, fat free sour cream, fat free cheese, a low carb tortilla that achieved “low carb” through all sorts of science alongside that keto bread with bastardized nut butters and sunflower seed butter, and then fat free greek yogurt mixed with all sorts of things.
I was trying to find ANYTHING to fill the hole in my body and my spirit that was left behind from the absence of the meat.
And as I wrote before: I was literally eating ALL DAY like that. I was ALWAYS hungry. I was a starving animal, trapped in a prison of my own creation.
I was always waiting for the next opportunity to eat, only to be incredibly disappointed. I would get sad once breakfast was over, because I knew I had to wait to eat again, and I knew it wouldn’t be rewarding. And I’d get sad at the end of the day, after eating my MASSIVE “end of day meal”
Because, once again, I knew I was going to go to bed STILL hungry and wake up the next morning starving.
Super Squats was absolutely the right choice in this capacity, as it forced me to come to a head on the whole matter. Once it was done, I was the biggest and strongest I’d ever been and was also absolutely wrecked and needed a change. I hoped on the Velocity Diet/Apex Predator Diet hybrid I’ve written about, and it was the start of freeing myself. I had permission to deviate, because someone else had the plan: I just had to follow it. And things like Superfood and Flameout gave me the assurance that I’d be ok, nutritionally.
And having ONE HSM a day (or two) taught me prioritization. And knowing that I had my basis covered from the supplements, I could prioritize meat. And, in the Apex Predator case: it was actually the marching order. Roger that.
And from that I’ve been going further and further down the carnivore rabbithole…and the deeper I dig, the BETTER I feel.
Because I am finally being authentic. I am, after 3 years, finally being WHO I am. I am a meateater. I am a being that eats meat. I THRIVE on meat. That is what powers my body. It is the celebration of a good hunt. We eat that OTHER stuff when there is no meat around: it should NOT be the basis of my diet.
I’ve basically been living in disharmony for 3 years. I’ve been fighting being my authentic self: forcing myself to live a lie. In turn, all the things that used to work for me worked against me. My mandatory 3-5 minutes of training a day was KILLING me. I’ve stopped doing it. I no longer feel compelled to do it. IF I do training like that, it’s a choice. These things were an albatross around my neck, and now they’re my allies once again.
And everything is reflecting as such. I’m training less and getting MORE results. My body hurts less. I am lean and strong without effort.
And I eat until I am satisfied, and then I don’t need to eat again. I’m not food seeking. I’m not tinkering in the kitchen. I’m not snacking and grazing.
THIS MAKES SENSE. This makes SO MUCH goddamn sense. It’s how it’s SUPPOSED to be. You eat until you are satisfied, you stop eating, you wait until you are hungry, then you eat again.
I could never get tired of eating this way. This is NOT a compromise. I am not without. I have my weekly Rampage, and it’s rare that I’m eating foods that I feel I have been “denied” when I do it: I use it as an opportunity to enjoy food SOCIALLY with my family. I have the experience of the shared yummy cuisine, and then I get back on with what makes sense.
Honestly, I could just keep on writing about this, and I want to get more of this down, but this has just been so huge for me.