Well, I guess I’m a “sedate woman” then 
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It’s a mental thing on my part. Being a war vet, policeman in a very violent city, SWAT team member, childhood traumas… These things create a need for constant stimulation. It’s self destructive and a burden but it’s also like an addiction.
Oh, OK, I understand.
Dat Adrenaline Tho! Weeeee!
That stuff does have an effect which causes us to keep upping the ante on pretty much any thril seeking activity.
Not many old adrenaline junkies though, are there?
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It’s a real thing man. And it really sucks.
Exactly. I hate it but I deal with it.
MOST physically and healthy men desire sex and intimacy. Others may be like Anna (whom I am not fully convinced will feel this way once she meets someone, but maybe). Would we call them unhealthy? Maybe. High functioning autism, for example, may be present in a guy who’d like to build a future with someone, but who feels off-put by physical intimacy.
Most healthy women yearn for physical touch, too. But not all. This is a “people” thing, not a guys/girls thing.
As long as Anna is honest about her wants/needs/goals, she should pursue exactly what she wants.
@anna_5588, does any of this have to do with your body image stuff? Like, “gross to have someone touching me because I’m gross”?
Agree. Same 'ol same 'ol works just fine when it’s perfect.
As with @anna_5588’s wants, it all comes down to finding what (who) works for you. I’m married to someone funny. Not telling jokes funny, just quietly funny. He’s the first man I’ve been in a romantic relationship who has made me laugh as much as I make him laugh. We can be lying in bed with the lights off getting ready to go to sleep and wind up crying with laughter. It’s a nice thing and I appreciate and enjoy it. But most people aren’t funny. I would say of the 25 or so clients I see each week, maybe 2-3 are objectively funny. So 10% of people, maybe. And of that 10%, maybe half are people whose humor is aligned with mine. The other 90% are on a scale somewhere - some LOVE my humor, some just blink at me, and others find it unpleasant/unnerving. Some of the clients I’ve been seeing for more than a year would be stunned to hear me described as funny, because I don’t bring that out to play with them. People who endlessly tell jokes make me want to cut my ears off with a rusty knife - it’s tedious to be expected to provide their laugh track.
You can’t make generalizations. “Funny” is a good skill or trait to bring to dating, so is “ripped.” Neither are necessary for a good and happy relationship unless the relationship is with someone who finds those things important. Too, neither mean one thing. My “ripped” guy may have to be big and muscular while someone else’s could be a low bodyweight marathoner type. “Funny” to me may not mean the same to you.
And yet I believe that probably 10% of them found it, and that that guy was enjoyed around the cave for his humorous stories of the day’s hunting. Probably even more enjoyable was if there was another ancestor with a sense of humor that played well off his, because when two funny people get together they’re enjoyable to be around.
Young men and women ALWAYS have a laundry list of qualities they want, and they almost always settle for something much less. Those who don’t settle for pieces of the list wind up alone. Some of them bitterly so.
I think in the end the key is to be flexible and appreciate what you did get.
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Yep, that’s me
No, I think it has more to do with family dynamics. My parents were not the touchy-feely type and I just can’t imagine having to stare at , touch or god forbid having a fleshy ( maybe hairy) cucumber inserted inside me
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Have to work out, will think as I do, and as I shower, and as I drive to work, how to address
lol
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Okay, I have my response, which came to me in the shower. Someone told me once that there’s a two-thirds rule of thumb in working with autistic kids, which is that their emotional development tends to be at about 2/3rds of their physical and cognitive development. If we apply this to you, we’d have you at about 12 years old, emotionally. That would give us some insight into why you might feel the way you do about the intimacy piece.
Your superior cognitive development makes you see unnaturally mature in some regards, but there is certainly room for unevenness.
My advice is to just be patient and let the maturation process do its thing, then see what you have. And until then, don’t worry.
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I have an alternate theory, which may prove unpopular, may prove wrong and will certainly sound like rehashing old ground.
Would it be plausible to suggest that someone who’s tanked their hormones to the point of missing periods is also likely to have a low/non existent sex drive?
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Not an MD, so can’t say, but it makes sense to me.
Me neither, hence the many many caveats applied.
Well, that explains why my little brother is significantly more emotionally mature than me
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Maybe, but I have really liked guys ( and have even dreamed of them) except the “ fantasies” are pg, maybe pg-13
My instinct tells me that reinforces my opinion rather than refutes it. But I can’t stress enough what an uninformed opinion it is.
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I’ll stop derailing the thread now 
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I’ve dated (and been married) to very active women my whole life (marathoners, dancers) all of whom had had significant periods of amenorrhea throughout their lives and all had what I would consider to be a healthy libido. My current partner was a professional dancer and didn’t have a regular (ie: once every 3-5 weeks) period until she was 38.
I’ll throw in the obligatory “I’m not doctor” as well but I don’t think the hormones that are responsible for regulating periods are the same ones that determine sex drive.
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I was thinking as I drove to work that I work with college kids and had a close friend with eating disorders, and they were absolutely interested. I would have said that maybe desire is present but libido is affected, but @Dr_Pangloss speaks to that in his post.
I’m going back to my developmentally not ready theory, because here again this seems very “sheltered younger teen” to me.
It’s not a derailment. You’re a woman speaking of men and men are responding by speaking of women. Right on track!
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Your name suggests otherwise, sir!