While I don’t doubt it has happened just like mass extinctions when has having a kid, parents or extended family been the guy’s “thing”?? Much more likely she is a single mom or wants a kid in her late 30’s.
Then that is definitely something that interferes with marriage considering in-laws’ involvement with children and events.
Hence my wonder about what went on for ten to 20 years, though perhaps they wanted certain men that could not commit to the number of women who wanted them considering men can only marry one woman apiece here.
Is this in quotes for a reason, similar to me having a reason for putting “dating,” “relationships,” and “boyfriend and girlfriend” in quotes?
Sounds lonely to me. But I like having my husband around. To be fair, our standards for each other were considerably lower when we met. So I guess I wouldn’t want to have to date at my age. It took years and years to get to where we are now. We spent a lot of time kind of shaping each other. Not sure I would be willing to start at ground zero again. Probably would have much higher standards for a man now since I don’t think I would want to put that much work into a new relationship. Plus God only knows what kind of standards a man would have for me. Ugh. I’m tired just thinking about the idea of having to date. Sounds exhausting.
And to be fair, there are plenty of men who choose to stay single for similar reasons. Or as @LGN put it so eloquently, no one wants them.
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Why are the old woman who choose to not have kids or marry always white?
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I think this is probably key. People are just loud on the internet and it goes viral so we see a compilation of experience.
I distinctly remember a significant number of women early in life with very specific needs, almost like a checklist, for a partner to hit. It almost always carried a connotation of social climbing of some sort, which inherently meant out of their league and an inflated sense of dating value in themselves.
By the time they realized they should probably adjust their aim this is what’s left (but ironically they are the leftovers):
There are calculators online where you can input various factors (height, weight, income, education, age range, etc) and it will spit out what percentage of the population fits the requirements.
Most of those stereotypical checklists you mentioned result in something like 1% of the population.
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I was shocked by that calculator after plugging in what seems to be as common and then seeing how rare a combo of some traits was.
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I’ve seen memes for this. I think it’s hilarious. While I do believe in standards it was always funny to see the checklist “shopping” mentality. I would imagine the online/app thing has only made it worse.
We are using calculators to find partners and we wonder why reproduction is down.
My reasoning:
- Economic prosperity.
- Feminism, which is European in origin and anti-marriage and anti-father.
- Excessive chivalry.
- Romantic love.
- Heavy propaganda pushing the notion that prioritize being a wife and mother is to be a loser.
Related to point 2, George Bernard Shaw said something to the effect of women wanting children without being beholden to men.
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I believe all those women could’ve found men long ago, like 18 to 22 years old.
Whenever I hear my friends describe dating and relationships, my first thought is “how do you have the time and energy to do this??”
even hanging out with friends can be a big time and energy suck sometimes
Try .012% for me 
(and even then there are stipulations)
Not needing someone is very freeing. There’s always a sense of being in debt if the other person (partner, family, friend, etc) is contributing more resources and it’s also unstable- deaths, accidents, changes of heart happen.
@BrickHead something I wonder is whether the goal is to have a partner or to be able to say that they are in a relationship and or have the feeling that they are adored/valuable enough to get with and keep a certain type of partner l
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Yeah exactly. Speaking of checklists, they were always the 6 in the 10 crowd. Unrealistic expectations and the worst attitudes too. Holding on to a Disney pipe dream.
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The calculators mentioned are not to find partners. They expose the percentages of the population with trait combinations. For example 100-150k salary, 6 ft in height, not obese, and age range.
As for fertility being down, no talking head mentions the divorce regime, the disordered sexual market, and women frittering away their most fertile years with “boyfriends,” “relationships,” “dating,” and accumulating accolades.
Two to three “relationships” can use up nearly all of a woman’s twenties with men who mysteriously won’t commit.
Yeah. Therein lies the rub- if a man hasn’t gotten himself together by then, he’s not going to.
I have had plenty of friends in my age range that never grew up and never will. They get older by the day, but their mentality is somewhere around the last time they were “cool” which is probably late teen to early 20’s.
Honestly, they’re insufferable morons. When real shit goes down or they don’t get their way- they don’t know how to respond.
It’s because of all the deviled eggs.
I plugged in my stats and am apparently 0.01%.
Don’t worry, my weird personality does a great job of dragging me down the ranking.
I remember reading that’s where most men’s fashion choices freeze. I guess that says something.
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I can’t answer for anna, but my take is this- they’re looking for an ideal(not necessarily in a bad way)- but lowering standards results in less than ideal. Its an oxymoron.
I was with a woman in my late 20’s- early 30’s right before I met my wife who is the target audience for those kinds of articles.
She was really accomodating and was always trying to do the thing that would be the one thing that would somehow make everything happily ever after. The problem is that she was attracted to guys like me (at the time). I was not a nice guy, and there were no guarantees I would ever be. I was only recently sober (in relative terms), and still had all of the bad behaviors minus the habits.
She’d say stuff like “You need to trust me…” and my internal and external response was “no I fucking don’t! Thats what people who want to hurt you say!”.
Or “Could you just…[fill in blank]”
Me: “No. I’m not that guy. Fuck your family shirts. I’m not gonna be part of that picture.”.
Suffice to say, things crumbled. She got hurt. I felt bad, but guilt doesn’t really motivate me and I moved on to my find my girlfriend/now wife.
Then she started seeing this other guy who was also a part of our whole group (local recovery groups). But the guy was a total tool. This ended badly. Then another guy- who stole about 10k from her, and another, etc.
Its mot surprising she liked me at the time. Bluntly put- she likes assholes. Thinks they have potential, tries to change them and ends up hurt.
Wonders where all the nice guys are, and to date, has not realized her own part in her chronic inability to “land the right guy” or even a fixer-upper.
Its cuz the right guy is already married and the fixer-upper doesn’t want to be fixed.
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Time suck from what? Relationships, sex, affection, memorable times, marriage, and family are extremely important to people. People also want sex quite badly.
I do believe there is a tiny minority of people who do just fine alone, and for whatever reason do not care about the above, but most are not.
I don’t understand being in debt to a partner, the person one is married to. I don’t understand how this is a concept.
Yes it is, as explained above.
Like be beholden to someone just to say this?
This is quite important to most also. Though I don’t know how much it is pronounced in women, most men will feel like shit without affection from women regardless of what good is going on in their lives and whether they admit it or not. Few things make a man angrier than lack of a woman.
If I recall correctly you are very tall, not obese, and earn above average income. So that might be true. I am at 3.1%. I believe this calculator might not be is accurate because I do not consider my type to be so rare. I am 5’10” and middle class.
I think you misunderstood.
I put in my “checklist” and got that only .012% of ppl would check the boxes
I am a 5/10 in looks and 2/10 in personality….. so yeah…. I’d be delusional if I actually wanted someone that fit my standards