must be a virgin.
If you’re that “in love,” why not wait a few more years just to make certain that this is the person that you want to spend the REST OF YOUR LIFE with.
A few years? Geeze dude, if you’re that indecisive I feel for you. What I’m talking about is people that wait until after college, getting a good job, a decent house, and then look around at age 35 (nearly too old to consider reproducing) and wonder what happened.
The divorce rate used to be lower. People used to get married at younger ages then. Of course they had more responsibility thrust on them at earlier ages too. Now everyone wants to “just let them be kids” and so all the real growing up happens in the early 20s I suppose. Maybe we should move the voting age back to 21 where it was, not like many people under 21 actually make it to the voting booth anyway.
I got married at 22 and wish I hadn’t waited so long. The longer we are married, the more I realize what a great wife I have and (unbeknownst to me at the time) if I had waited much longer, my wife would have moved on (we dated for 4 years). Been married almost 10 years now.
If you are having doubts I suggest you consider the option of a long engagement.
Holy cow, this is ridiculous. This post shouldn’t be about the right age to get married. There is no such thing. Some people get married at 22, some 32, who cares. If you meet the right person, you can see yourself being compatible and in love for the rest of your life then do it. Marriage is always a chance. Before you do it and after you do it, it still is never set in stone, no matter what vows may mean to you or your spouse.
Now that I got that off my chest, let me set a few rules about marriage to help this poor man out:
Rule 1: If you have to come onto an internet forum to get advice about who you should marry, you should not get married!
Rule 2: If your girlfriend brakes up with you because you want to wait on making one of the most important choices of your life, you should not get married!
Rule 3: Banging sluts won’t help you get over your girlfriend mein freund. You need to TRY for another serious relationship. If you are young and in a serious relationship, it sometimes seems like nothing else will compare. That most often isn’t the truth. You just don’t open yourself up to anyone else to give them a shot.
Rule 4: If you take time out of your day (especially a Friday when you are stuck in lab fielding phone calls) to write this long of a reply, you should try need to get a life, laid, drunk, or a real live girlyfreind.
And that my friends is exactly what I am going to do. Which one I am not for sure. They are all viable and acceptable options for a single man. I love being single! After all these people giving props to the married life, I think it is important for me to give props to the single life. I’m sure marriage is great, but right now…I love being single!
I’m outta here! ZZWWEEEEEPPPP!!!
I got married at 21,April will be 35 years.If she is the right one it doesn’t matter what your age is
My Mum was 19 when she married my Dad, next month is their 25th wedding anniversary.
he said “mum.” lmao
They do that in England.
They do that in England.
Well after such an interesting post i really feel that I know the guy. I feel that he is being a needy little boy and he just wants his little comfort zone back instead of having patience to find someone else he really does love. It is not like there is one person out there for everyone…there are 1000’s. plain and simple sport. So grab you balls, get over it, and find someone else.
Thanks for all the replies, sorry it has taken so long to get back on here. I am really surprised I haven’t seen more flames, there were some good replies in there actually! Anyways, should probably clarify some things. At the time we split, we were living in different places, living different lives. She was going to school, i was working full time, we had 2 hours between us in drive time, and we had fought alot the last year we were together over stupid stuff. So at the time, it was a mutual split and it seemed like the best option. Now i am obviously wondering what the hell i was thinking. Why don’t I think I’m ready? Well it is only THE REST OF MY LIFE and at 22 that looks like a long time, i never wanted to get married and then end up divorced, i thought i would just be more mature at 30, but things have changed alot lately. As far as just getting back together and not married, I dont’ think there is anything else for us to find out about each other, after 4 years i know who she is and why i love her, either she’s the one and it’s time to settle, or it’s time to let her go and get looking. My delielma is that either way i feel i will have regrets, letting her go, or getting married are both scary ideas. Thanks again for reading and posting
Reggie
Regrets are part of life. You just have to choose which set of them you’re willing to live with.
SteelyEyes is an asset to this forum. Heed his words.
alright, first I’d like to point out that this entire post was largely based around understanding the logic of a woman, which is the oxymoron of the century.
but, in fairness, it seems you answered your question when you asked it:
“i love this girl and feel like i’ll never be able to find someone who i care about this much, and who cares about me this much”
if you truly believe that, then you’d be a fool to let her go.
best to ya’
Before jumping the gun and marrying this girl, why not give her a call? You havent mentioned whether you talk to her at all or whether there has been no contact over the past 7 months.
If you do really feel that she is the one, then I would suggest you go to pre-marital counseling BEFORE you get engaged. They will help you guys to think of some of the major issues that may not have come up during your normal conversation. I am taking the same route with my gf.
If it comes down to you proposing to her, go find the nearest Scott Kay dealer and buy her a sweet-ass platinum ring. He is known as being the top platinum designer in the world, but also has very reasonable prices for his rings. Im not big into diamonds, so my gf will get a platinum ring, a few diamonds on each side, and a brilliant sapphire thats about 1.5 - 2 carats in the middle. Very stylish, very elegant, and you dont have to spend a fortune for a diamond center stone. Besides that, it’ll look better than about 95% of any diamond engagement ring you’ll ever see. BTW, Im 24 and my gf just turned 23 on Thursday.
Married at 22 and the big D by 25 but she was wrong for me. Follow your heart. If after 7 long months then you two need to get together and talk.
Personally, I think you should wait.
I’m only 25 years old myself, and I can tell you that I have changed considerably in the last 3-4 years. I’m sure I will change alot more in the next 3-4, let alone the next 30-40. The reality is that its impossible to know “who and what you truly are” at our age. The same goes for your wife. I think it is extremely unwise to make such a HUGE decision at such a young age.
50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Of the 50 percent that stay together, a huge percentage are not happy marriages. Many are quite terrible actually. As people have
already mentioned, these percentages are worse for people who get married at a young age.
You know what would be worse than you “Losing” her? Marrying her, then ending up divorced at 24,25, 26 years old. Can you imagine how messed up your confidence would be as a 26 year old divorcee? Can you imagine the reaction a lot of women your age would have when they find out the cool guy they met has already been married AND divorced?
Would you ever sign a contract to work at the same job for the rest of your life? Even a job you absolutely love? What if I told you there was no guarantee that your pay or working conditions would stay the same? And that in fact, most people who sign similiar contracts eventually regret doing so? I use the contract analogy because that is what your getting yourself into: a binding, legal contract.
There are likely all sorts of things you have not considered: did you know you become responsible for any debts (student, credit card. . ) that your wife has run up?
Bro, trust me, even if you lose her, you WILL find somebody else.
If I haven’t made myself clear, I think it would be a POTENTIALLY monumental mistake for you to get married now.
You know if you’re registered to vote you can be called to serve on a jury. Your decision there could cost someone a few years of their life, the rest of it, or cause the end of it to come around a bit sooner than they had hoped.
You can do that at age 18.
Also at age 18 you can end up in a patch of sand or jungle with your buddies with a 65 lb. pack on your back, an M-16 or similar weapon in your hand and somebody you don’t know shooting at you. What you decide to do there can result in an early checkout for yourself, your buddies, or hopefully the fucker you don’t know if you sack up and be man instead of a boy about it.
Big decisions for sure.
People do change. They change every minute if you look close enough. That’s nothing new. What is new, relatively, is people worrying more and doing less. Analysis to paralysis is one term for it. My friend got married fairly young like I did. Things went well, they had a daughter, his wife got cancer and died. He doesn’t regret his choice. He’s married to another great woman because he has a positive outlook on life, which is what you need to succeed at marriage, a carreer, or anything else.
So if you don’t know “who you are” or what you want at 21, 23, or 25 what the fuck are you waiting for? For fuck’s sake you lived with you, took showers with you, and jerked you off for the last quarter century or so. Maybe you should get the introductions over with and do some growing up. Just a thought.
Snake! you’re a wise man. I live by the logic you outlined there 'erre day.
I feel that a lot of people get married without even being financially stable, have 10k’s worth of student debt, have a kid too early, rely on their parents for support, and live the rest of their lives wondering if their life could have been better.
Do you have a good career? Can you afford a mortgage? Can you do so without your parent’s help? Is your wife an airhead? What would be her career? Do you have savings? Are you able to provide financial support to feed your wife, kid, and your x6 meals a day + supplementation + gym membership fees, and still have enough money for a $200k house, and a car?
If you can honestly say yes to all that and provide the best for your family, then i’d say GO FOR IT!!
If not you’d probably end up getting a divorce, not because you stopped loving each other, but 'cos you’ll end up spending the majority of your time arguing about paying the bills and your finances.
BTW, have you guys even tried living together for a while? Maybe you should give that a go before sealing the deal.
obviously there is no right age to get married but i have to say almost all of the people that i know that got married young, end in divorce.
i agree with someone above who said that too many changes happen between the ages of 21-25. persoanlly i changed big time when i hit about 24.
im not saying dont do it. im just saying that you are gonna go through some maturation soon thay may change things.