Anyway, here’s some background: I’ve been involved in grappling sports for 18 years. Primarily judo, but couple of years ago I started crosstraining in BJJ.
In the course of my career I’ve trained with broken ribs, fingers and toes, tore ligaments and tendons and had surgeries on both of my knees. I even kept my mouth shut about an ACL tear so I can compete in a national tournament. In short, motivation was never an issue for me. I attended training camps all over the world and competed and I cannot remember voluntarily slacking on the mat.
I turned 30 last month and the first signs of my lack of motivation showed up this summer at the last major judo tournament of the season in Italy. I got completely demolished in the first round. Usually, such trashings would cause me to start TUF-style tantrums, but that day I simply said to myself: “Awesome! I didn’t get injured. Now let’s get a pizza”.
After the new season started in September I started feeling very lacklustre on the mat. I begun fearing injuries. For example, I rolled with a huge “I want to train UFC” kid, a former shotputter. Usually, I would have demolished such an inexperienced big guy but that day I was playing it defensively, feeling glad when it was over.
For the past two weeks I cannot force myself to attend practice. I make up an excuse to myself to skip it. I still lift weights and bike as usual though. My girlfriend was shocked yesterday when 7 pm came and I wasn’t packing my gi. I told her “Well, there’s this great documentary about Genghis Khan on cable”. I couldn’t believe what I was saying.
I don’t know. I feel like changing schools - concentrating on BJJ for a while - mostly on techniques and some light rolling. Grappling arts have been such a big part of my life I feel I cannot abandon it.
Anyone been in a similar conundrum?