I thought “Punch Drunk Love” was really romantic.
Intake magazine:
“Sandler has become a serviceable actor, but he can’t carry Burt Reynolds’ jock in the lead role.”
Expect a lot more of these from me in coming days…
Adam Sandler is annoying, but it’s not like he’s starring in a remake of The Godfather or Citizen Kane. The Longest Yard probably didn’t need to be remade, but it’s not exactly a lost classic, either.
Just for Zeb:
“in the brief pre-prison set-up, we see lots of breasts ? a bone, so to speak, tossed to Sandler’s core adolescent fans. That’s probably because there aren’t many opportunities for boob shots inside the Texas penitentiary”
review, Atlanta J-C:
There’s nothing particularly wrong with “The Longest Yard,” but there’s nothing particularly right about it either.
Surprisingly flat ‘Yard’ falls short of original
“It’s surprising how much of the movie is flat and how predictable the gags are. Actually, the director is Peter Segal, who made Sandler’s ''Anger Management” and ''50 First Dates," so maybe ''surprise" is too strong a word." (OUCH! The truth hurts!)
-Boston GLobe
Here’s a vicious review by the NY Post. He attacks everything in the review :
BEFORE starring in the original “The Longest Yard” in 1974, Burt Reynolds was a tailback at Florida State University. Before starring in the remake, Adam Sandler was . . . the Waterboy.
Spectacular miscasting is the least of the problems with this tale of a football game between prison guards and inmates, which also features Reynolds himself, in a frustratingly wasted appearance as a coach; Chris Rock, who hangs around dealing predictable wisecracks; and the rapper Nelly.
There probably are a lot of talented sportsmen in prison, just as in sports there are a lot of criminals, one of whom shows up here in a promising cameo: Michael Irvin, the former Dallas Cowboys receiver who turned up 65 times in the end zone but even more frequently beneath a pile of strippers and cocaine. Like Nelly, he could probably do a lot more than the script gives him.
Let’s give a pass on the absurd premise. (Why would guards play football with cons? Do hunters give rifles to ducks?) But the power of prison movies is that the stakes are so high, the desperation so palpable.
In this one, when former NFL MVP quarterback Paul “Wrecking” Crewe (Sandler) leads police on a drunken vehicular melee and earns a three-year stretch, Allenville Federal Prison turns out to be, after some introductory beatings, a big fun college dorm.
Inmates wander freely into each other’s cells, sip top-shelf cocktails, eat glorious meals and spend almost no time locked up.
Crewe, who as played by Sandler is less the rough antihero of '70s film than an arrogant jerk, is arrested in San Diego but nevertheless sent to a federal prison in Texas so the actors can try out their hick accents. (Crewe had already been on probation because he may or may not have thrown a pro football game; the charge was never proven. Screenwriter Sheldon Turner seems to think that when you are charged with a crime but not convicted, you get probation as a compromise.)
“The Waterboy” was funny because Sandler doesn’t look like a football player. When he swaggers around “The Longest Yard” starting fights and taking beatings without flinching, he only reminds us how little Steve McQueen and how much Woody Allen there is in him. He’s so tiny that James Cromwell, who towers above him as the evil warden, looks like he could kick his butt.
A lot of effort went into one of the most annoyingly obtrusive product placements in memory, for a fast food purveyor, but the characters sound like they were dreamed up during the drive to the set.
The prison guards? Racists. (In case you miss the point, their dress uniforms look like the latest from Joseph Goebbels’ spring collection).
One personality tic is carefully rationed to each inmate, then turned into a running gag that quickly becomes the movie equivalent of a bread and water diet.
A really big guy’s joke is that he talks like a baby. Another’s is that he has a foreign accent. And for maximum hilarity, the gay prisoners keep popping up in halter tops to do the same limp-wristed sissy act, over and over. A joke about whether a player has lost bowel control, not exactly Oscar Wilde-level wit to begin with, is repeated about six times.
The prison’s security, which at the climactic game allows fans to depart through a single unguarded fence, is noticeably looser than it was at the advance screening, where huge guys looking to bust video pirates treated me to a full-body search and nearly shook me down for my lunch money before entry was granted.
THE LONGEST YARD
Roughing the audience
[quote]ZEB wrote:
Sonny:
You are pretty much right on the mark!
Adam Sandler is the king of low brow (translation: scum bag) humor. At his very best his humor reaches the 12 to 14 year old mentality.
I watched the first “Longest Yard.” In fact I saw it three times over the years. Reynolds was masterful in it. I’m not going to bother to watch Adam Sandler Stumble through a role he was not made to play.
I won’t rule out ever going to see a Sandler film ever again. In fact, the next time I’m in the mood for fart humor, Tittie jokes, pissing scenes and other such hilarity I’ll lower myself and find a Sandler movie. [/quote]
Zebster… hate to bust your balls like this but isn’t this the exact same attitude you were busting on Pavel for in TC’s recent article? There is absolutely nothing wrong with laughing at something that you would have found funny when you were 13, guess what, if you keep your inner child intact, the shit IS still funny. Sandler is a goofball, but all the goofballs I have ever met are good people and I like them… However, I have met quite a few people who take themselves too seriously who quite frankly are annoying.
V
Hmm… Lets gets a real review in here instead of all of these old newspaper guys.
Let me start off by saying I didnt see the first one… I dont find sandler particularly funny, and im not a huge chris rock fan (Im not even a little one).
Lets start off with sandler - No cheesy, stupid voices, no pissing on walls, no dumb characters. Sandler was actually pretty good in my opinion, he pulled off the role very well. He actually acted in this film as opposed to his other character work.
Chris Rock - Starts off the movie with his normal “Cracker” jokes… I was getting worried it was going to be him normal shit all the way thtough, he ended up giving a pretty funny show though.
All of the other players were really good. Nelly was surprisingly good, all of the WWE wrestlers were good too.
So like i said, i think the movie was really good, definitely go see it… if you are skeptical go see the matinee to save money.
you are so far off, he wrecks a Bentley Continental GT…
[quote]CU AeroStallion wrote:
you are so far off, he wrecks a Bentley Continental GT…[/quote]
In the original its a Maserati.
And I’d take either one of them over my Grand Cherokee 
If you are not entertained by this movie you are a loser. That’s the point of movies, to entertain. Adam Sandler wanted to remake the movie because he liked it. That’s why he is the lead. No he isn’t Burt Reynolds, so he has a different take on it but he is still the loner who doesn’t give a shit at that point in his life and he is still tough and smart. He’s less sly and cocky and more funny and goofy. He is very good in the role and he is a leader, which is what Burt was in the original.
For everyone who is masturbating to Burt Reynolds(who is cool but mostly gets made fun of now days), he is in the movie too and does a good job. He shure doesn’t look or act 69 or however old he is. He kind of ties it to the original and gets props from Sandler by being given a prominent role?, duh. The big names and big egos mesh surprisingly well and nobody looks like a talentless hack, even Bosworth. Chris Rock doesn’t over do it and isn’t to niggery. He is a genial, witty companion to Crewe who helps to bring the team together and becomes Crewe’s road dog, like in the original. It’s a little cartoony in parts, but overall totally awesome.
Shit, just see it and decide for yourself that it kicks ass. In fact, the theatre I was in bareley had any people in it because the dumbasses were watching Monster in Law and Star Wars and was seriously lacking asses to be kicked by this movie, so I kicked all the asses of the losers who saw the other movies myself. Just kidding, I only kicked like 45-50 peoples asses and then got tired and went home. On to other faggage I saw in these posts. Adam Sandler has made some crap, but anyone who completely hates him and his stuff and doesn’t find his “juvenile humor” funny and is under the age of 60 needs to lighten up, get a sense of humor and quit being a douche. Anyone takes advice about what movies to like or see from movie critics like Ebert and Roper gets to have their opinion automatically disqualified.
One griped that he was sent to prison in Texas so they could get their hick accents in. Crap, the Federal system sends prisoners from all over to places all over and there were not many hick accents,but I guess the clueless fudge pumper got a witty snide remark in right? The best was the review from the NY Post. Is that where you go to get the real deal, the New York Post? That was the stupidest review I have seen in my life. It was stupider than this review I’m writing right now, and some jackasses actually printed it in what is supposed to be a “real” newspaper. It was pretty much complete bullshit. The only part he got right were the names involved and the fact that Michael Irvin and Nelly surprisingly did a good job and that they should have stuck with,“I think I broke his fucking neck”, instead of “I think he shit his pants.” Changing the light bulb to the radio so you were kind of surprised was a good touch.
Yeah, it’s a frat house,…where people get killed. I guess it would’ve been better if they just showed the inmates sitting in their cells playing cards and reading, sweet. Why not just admit you would have liked to have seen more naked guys in the shower and more gay sex. Yeah, like Reynolds wasn’t arrogant. Shit that was part of his charm. Adam Sandler isn’t tiny, maybe someone besides me noticed everyone in this movie is a massive wrestler, massive football player, or massive bodybuilder, and we all know NFL quarterbacks are all 6’5" and weigh 240.
Racist guards?, that never happens in a prison. But actually only Stone Cold was really racist and the uniforms looked like sheriffs uniforms or prison guard uniforms or, prison guard uniforms and half the time they wore t-shirts, but way to get a nazi reference in. Worthless.
[quote]Pretzel Logic wrote:
Chris Rock doesn’t over do it and isn’t to niggery. [/quote]
Holy Shit. Did you just say that?
Edit: I was TOO caught up in your racism to realize you don’t know the difference between to and too.
Glad that my slip in word usage was what you got out of that. So that no one feels bad, the white guard weren’t too crackery(or hickory,haha), the mexicans weren’t too spickery, the gays weren’t too faggery, the warden wasn’t too bossery, the prison wasn’t too jailery, etc.