[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
streamline wrote:
EmilyQ wrote:
streamline wrote:
Lust or Love = short term or long term.
Are you saying lust is a short term response and love the long term? If so, I disagree.
Editing to add that I think both lust and love ebb and flow and often people shut down too quickly, assuming low points are permanent.
Of course you think that. You’re a female. If a male has a choice of a hot female or a not hot female. Guess what he’s going to choice. If a guy tells you different, he wants in your pants. Guys fall in love with physical beauty.
Are you talking about a relationship or a pickup? I assume in the context of this discussion that we’re talking about women (and men) attractive enough in the initial stages that they are chosen. The goal, then, is sustaining that attraction, yes?
I’m saying that given the right conditions strong attraction (lust) remains, though not as a constant. But in order to have constant attraction you would have to have an endless parade of attractive partners, each lasting only a short enough while that no off-putting personality traits have time to surface. So what, a couple of weeks? A month? Isn’t it preferable to have someone with whom you can laugh and talk, whose flaws you’ve had time to discover and adapt to and whose good qualities you know and can appreciate in depth?
I can’t speak for my husband, but my sense is that he operates much as I do. We’ll drift into complacency for a while, then something will spark and we fly back into intense attraction. It lasts however long it lasts. Probably similar to the attraction/infatuation phase for strangers, I would think. And then we begin the drift again. But even the drifting phase is pretty good. We’re focused on work or family or whatever, and are able to relax with each other. Singles doing hookups don’t have anything like that between infatuations.
Of course, there are also the hate phases, which aren’t as nice in my experience as the infatuation phases, but what can you do?[/quote]
Guys are attracted to the physical. That doesn’t mean they will succeed. We must remember women are selective and will not settle for any guy. Guys aren’t selective they’re horny.
Relationships start with the physical, however, the female will usually put the brakes on long enough to determine the mental state of the person. Something guys could learn, because guys don’t (unless they’ve learned) and end up with beautiful psychotic women.
Now I’m not saying men and women don’t look for relationships. Just that guys are more likely to end up in a relationship based solely on physical attraction. Then in short form it either breaks off or it’s a relationship from hell. I think we’ve all seen them.