Let's Talk Game w/ Women

Off Topic
621

[quote]Nutso wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

Curious if other guys reel in girls like this without intention of closing the deal, or if I am just a freak.

[/quote]

I went through a phase leading up to my wedding where I tended to do this. It took me a while before I realized what I was doing, but eventually I clued in. I expect I wanted to remind myself that I had options, but this marriage thing was something I was choosing.

Interesting side note: The force was STRONG with me during this time. As I knew it wasn’t going anywhere, I was completely free of attachment and expectations with these girls and so I was totally at ease.[/quote]

I agree with this, but god, it’s hard to put that into effect when you’re trying to date someone that you like. I know the trick is to be “carefree” but it’s not that easy.

So help?[/quote]

Well, the standard advice is to have at least 3 girls you’re talking to at one time. And to have enough other stuff in your life that is at least as important as the girl.

It’s better to be in a position where you can say “hey, I have to go” and actually have something going on.

Me, I generally lean toward the second. But I’ve done the first too.

622

[quote]LoRez wrote:
Well, the standard advice is to have at least 3 girls you’re talking to at one time. And to have enough other stuff in your life that is at least as important as the girl.

It’s better to be in a position where you can say “hey, I have to go” and actually have something going on.

Me, I generally lean toward the second. But I’ve done the first too.[/quote]

I totally agree with that, and have used that stance. However I feel that I should disclose something that I feel that plays a big role into meeting girls. I am deaf. It vastly reduces my “girls opportunities” where they are either deaf or hearing girls that knows sign language.

So it’s really limited for me in terms of meeting someone. I’m 33 and the only “available girls” comes from broken homes. Sometimes I would meet a stable and secure girl, but I’m not attracted to them. It’s usually because they are either fat or ugly. It’s not that I seek them out, it’s just that I have not been able to meet a stable and secure girl that knows Deaf culture because they too, are tired of same bullshit while trying to meet men. So they don’t go to deaf gatherings. They just do their thing. I know they are out there, but how can I meet them if I don’t know where they are?

Thus why this BPD deaf girl is from out of state. We’ve been communicating via long distance. I was aware of her “problems” (she did too) but I really thought she made good changes to herself. She thought the same thing too. Well we were both wrong as that changed when she came to town then it just went downhill. However it was an eye opener for both of us.

I know the trick is to talk and date many girls as I can, but I can’t since there are a lot insecure girls that aren’t comfortable with my deafness.

623

[quote]Nutso wrote:

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

Curious if other guys reel in girls like this without intention of closing the deal, or if I am just a freak.

[/quote]

I went through a phase leading up to my wedding where I tended to do this. It took me a while before I realized what I was doing, but eventually I clued in. I expect I wanted to remind myself that I had options, but this marriage thing was something I was choosing.

Interesting side note: The force was STRONG with me during this time. As I knew it wasn’t going anywhere, I was completely free of attachment and expectations with these girls and so I was totally at ease.[/quote]

I agree with this, but god, it’s hard to put that into effect when you’re trying to date someone that you like. I know the trick is to be “carefree” but it’s not that easy.

So help?[/quote]

Yes, it is indeed hard to be free of attachments and expectations. People spend years practicing meditation, psychotherapy and various other disciplines while often literally traveling to the ends of the earth in hopes of reaching that place, if only for moments at a time.

It cannot be a trick that you put into effect when you are trying to date someone you like. It is simply a way of being that, in my experience at least, is hard won by inches over years of learning to see what is, hold to your centre and let go of the rest, in real time. It requires a significant amount of courage, honesty and, in my case, failure and disappointment to get to square zero. It’s not something you can “do” on Saturday because you met a girl you’re into on Wednesday. It’s something you need to live and breathe regardless of whether anyone’s watching. Even then you can only create a mental environment where incremental change can take place but you can’t really cause it to happen. I make my position on this as clear as I know how to back on page 6.

Your personal situation adds an added dimension of challenge, without a doubt, but the basic principle remains unchanged.

624

[quote]LoRez wrote:

Well, the standard advice is to have at least 3 girls you’re talking to at one time. And to have enough other stuff in your life that is at least as important as the girl.

It’s better to be in a position where you can say “hey, I have to go” and actually have something going on.

Me, I generally lean toward the second. But I’ve done the first too.[/quote]

This works for me as well. I have found that if I make “meeting girls” my top priority, I tend to lose track on how I’m playing my cards. Work and sports (my case, insert any other activity here) tend to keep my busy enough to make girls a consquence/second-tier subject.

And like that, all of a sudden you find yourself with plenty interested girls just waiting for you to pick em. Treating them like options makes them wet to an unknown extent.

625

[quote]Nutso wrote:
Well when I first saw her, all these preparations went out the window, and I just talked from my heart about what happened between us recently. [/quote]

At this stage of the game, DO NOT ever do this again.

[quote]Nutso wrote:
I agree with this, but god, it’s hard to put that into effect when you’re trying to date someone that you like. I know the trick is to be “carefree” but it’s not that easy.[/quote]

Then you simply have to fake it. (and convincingly at that)

Again - until you’re married to her or getting close, wearing your heart on your sleeve is simply NOT a good look.

edit - just read your post a little closer and understand the uniqueness of your situation. Obviously, I was speaking very generally here and hopefully there’s something helpful in there somewhere.

626

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:
Lots of Japanese immigrated there when times were hard, and then when the Japanese economy took off, their mixed blood (gorgeous) granddaughters came back…

You really would not believe how hot some of these women are…[/quote]

I would say he is absolutely correct.

That is why I left Brazil: the competition was too high so I moved to England.

I did that “go to a pond where you will be the big fish”, that one of you guys mentioned on the Alpha/Beta/Omega thread ( the poster with the Native Indian avatar who is marrying a Jewish girl, I think ).[/quote]

I don’t know if I gave any credit in that thread, but that was some great advice.

Short of moving somewhere, differentiating yourself from the competition is also an option, at least for men. Actually, I guess that works for women too; downplay your weaknesses, emphasize your strengths.

It’s not like anyone you’re competing with is actually perfect in everything, and it’s not like everyone actually wants the same thing.[/quote]

It wasn’t really the reason I moved out and I omitted the others as a way of complementing Chushin’s post; with the purpose to validate his statement in a strong way.

The women are not only beautiful and very sensual, too.

I was a great feeling to find out my Brazilian charm was so effective somewhere else.

627

[quote]Chushin wrote:
I’ve always thought it a bit odd to trust and take advice from someone who mainly advocates game-playing.[/quote]

Some might call it game-playing.

Others might call it (informed) social maneuvering.

Either way, it’s useful info for anyone who didn’t go one-and-done with their highschool sweetheart, 1st long-term anything, etc

628

[quote]Alpha F wrote:
It wasn’t really the reason I moved out and I omitted the others as a way of complementing Chushin’s post; with the purpose to validate his statement in a strong way.
[/quote]

Oh, I was pretty sure the only reason you moved was to pick up men. :wink:

629

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:
I’ve always thought it a bit odd to trust and take advice from someone who mainly advocates game-playing.[/quote]

Some might call it game-playing.

Others might call it (informed) social maneuvering.

Either way, it’s useful info for anyone who didn’t go one-and-done with their highschool sweetheart, 1st long-term anything, etc[/quote]

I agree. I just don’t quite follow this whole “game-playing” idea. All of this stuff is happening at some level, whether we’re conscious of it or not. Just because you raise your awareness of what’s happening (and then act on the knowledge you’ve learned), doesn’t really change anything.

Office politics are the same way. For that matter, pretty much ANY social interaction is the same way. There are things you do or don’t do, things you say or don’t say, based on who you’re with and what you’re doing. If you want to give it a name, that’s all game-playing too, even if you just do it “naturally” without thinking about it.

630

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:
I’ve always thought it a bit odd to trust and take advice from someone who mainly advocates game-playing.[/quote]

Some might call it game-playing.

Others might call it (informed) social maneuvering.

Either way, it’s useful info for anyone who didn’t go one-and-done with their highschool sweetheart, 1st long-term anything, etc

[/quote]

Yep, things are much different now too.

Think about how female criteria has changed from most of human history.

They use to pick mates based on their ability to protect them - society is ultra safe now, they don’t need you

They use to pick men who could provide for them - no need, she earns her own money

There use to be a social stigma around single motherhood to the point where daughters would be rushed out of town so people wouldn’t find out they were pregnant. Now there is no stigma and single motherhood is embraced making a long term partner unimportant.

Learning game has become very important in this dating market. Unless your tall, handsome, have a huge cock and make a shit load of money you need game.

631

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:
I’ve always thought it a bit odd to trust and take advice from someone who mainly advocates game-playing.[/quote]

Some might call it game-playing.

Others might call it (informed) social maneuvering.

Either way, it’s useful info for anyone who didn’t go one-and-done with their highschool sweetheart, 1st long-term anything, etc

[/quote]

Yep, things are much different now too.

Think about how female criteria has changed from most of human history.

They use to pick mates based on their ability to protect them - society is ultra safe now, they don’t need you

They use to pick men who could provide for them - no need, she earns her own money

There use to be a social stigma around single motherhood to the point where daughters would be rushed out of town so people wouldn’t find out they were pregnant. Now there is no stigma and single motherhood is embraced making a long term partner unimportant.

Learning game has become very important in this dating market. Unless your tall, handsome, have a huge cock and make a shit load of money you need game.

632

[quote]therajraj wrote:

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:
I’ve always thought it a bit odd to trust and take advice from someone who mainly advocates game-playing.[/quote]

Some might call it game-playing.

Others might call it (informed) social maneuvering.

Either way, it’s useful info for anyone who didn’t go one-and-done with their highschool sweetheart, 1st long-term anything, etc

[/quote]

Yep, things are much different now too.

Think about how female criteria has changed from most of human history.

They use to pick mates based on their ability to protect them - society is ultra safe now, they don’t need you

They use to pick men who could provide for them - no need, she earns her own money

There use to be a social stigma around single motherhood to the point where daughters would be rushed out of town so people wouldn’t find out they were pregnant. Now there is no stigma and single motherhood is embraced making a long term partner unimportant.

Learning game has become very important in this dating market. Unless your tall, handsome, have a huge cock and make a shit load of money you need game.

[/quote]
I’m 5’10", average in just about every way, and pretty reserved… and yet, i’ve always done ok for myself when it comes to women.

I KNOW i’m not an anomaly/special snowflake :slight_smile:

What say you, Raj?

633

[quote]Brant2 wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

That is why I left Brazil: the competition was too high so I moved to England.

[/quote]

Where did you live over here?

And I think you should come and spend some time here. Even though the gringo power golden era is over, brazilian chicks really dig americans. All my coaches are american in their late 30s/early 40s and are constantly scoring well within the mid 20s.

Brazilianese women FTW, tho… mind blowing stuff.[/quote]

Salvador, Bahia.

I left in 1988. And what you are saying about gringos was absolutely true. And Brazilian women LOVED American males. I mean, they were alpha just by being “Americano”. I myself was under that spell.
For some reason it was ingrained into you to believe American men were better.

I left and grew out of it. I fell in love with one English guy, but did not want to marry into that culture so I blew a possibly good mate. Oh well. I wasn’t ready to give up my attachments either.

Proposed to an Australian ( I kid you not, but I was mostly challenging him to see how he would react: he was a commitment phobic so I told him I wanted to be his wife and would go with him where ever he went ). He told me I had more balls then he did ( he was in fact a coward and I would have lost my respect for him eventually ) and so I rid myself of a weak male that way and I left my mark: he will never forget me.

Did not want to marry American and was planning to move back to Brazil, then guess what happened?

I married American.

Ha!

I still want to go back to Brazil, though.

And I want my husband to see all the beautiful women that sharpened me into becoming this goddess that is happy to shower him with nectar.

And of course, as I am getting a firearm this Xmas; should any of those women cross my territory to try and steal what is rightfully mine, there will be fire.

:slight_smile:

So, have you by any chance witnessed women going at other women for 'stealing" their boyfriends or does that not happen anymore?

The culture used to be that it was never the men’s fault to be unfaithful ( “men cannot help it” ).
So other women were “the enemy”.

634

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]therajraj wrote:

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:
I’ve always thought it a bit odd to trust and take advice from someone who mainly advocates game-playing.[/quote]

Some might call it game-playing.

Others might call it (informed) social maneuvering.

Either way, it’s useful info for anyone who didn’t go one-and-done with their highschool sweetheart, 1st long-term anything, etc

[/quote]

Yep, things are much different now too.

Think about how female criteria has changed from most of human history.

They use to pick mates based on their ability to protect them - society is ultra safe now, they don’t need you

They use to pick men who could provide for them - no need, she earns her own money

There use to be a social stigma around single motherhood to the point where daughters would be rushed out of town so people wouldn’t find out they were pregnant. Now there is no stigma and single motherhood is embraced making a long term partner unimportant.

Learning game has become very important in this dating market. Unless your tall, handsome, have a huge cock and make a shit load of money you need game.

[/quote]
I’m 5’10", average in just about every way, and pretty reserved… and yet, i’ve always done ok for myself when it comes to women.

I KNOW i’m not an anomaly/special snowflake :slight_smile:

What say you, Raj?

[/quote]

I imagine he’ll say you already have game, you just don’t know it.

635

[quote]batman730 wrote:

I was completely free of attachment and expectations [/quote]

This was exactly what happened to me.

It was only when I let go of all my attachments and expectations that I became ready for marriage.

And it was so.

636

[quote]batman730 wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]therajraj wrote:

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:
I’ve always thought it a bit odd to trust and take advice from someone who mainly advocates game-playing.[/quote]

Some might call it game-playing.

Others might call it (informed) social maneuvering.

Either way, it’s useful info for anyone who didn’t go one-and-done with their highschool sweetheart, 1st long-term anything, etc

[/quote]

Yep, things are much different now too.

Think about how female criteria has changed from most of human history.

They use to pick mates based on their ability to protect them - society is ultra safe now, they don’t need you

They use to pick men who could provide for them - no need, she earns her own money

There use to be a social stigma around single motherhood to the point where daughters would be rushed out of town so people wouldn’t find out they were pregnant. Now there is no stigma and single motherhood is embraced making a long term partner unimportant.

Learning game has become very important in this dating market. Unless your tall, handsome, have a huge cock and make a shit load of money you need game.

[/quote]
I’m 5’10", average in just about every way, and pretty reserved… and yet, i’ve always done ok for myself when it comes to women.

I KNOW i’m not an anomaly/special snowflake :slight_smile:

What say you, Raj?

[/quote]

I imagine he’ll say you already have game, you just don’t know it.
[/quote]

Yep.

637

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]therajraj wrote:

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:
I’ve always thought it a bit odd to trust and take advice from someone who mainly advocates game-playing.[/quote]

Some might call it game-playing.

Others might call it (informed) social maneuvering.

Either way, it’s useful info for anyone who didn’t go one-and-done with their highschool sweetheart, 1st long-term anything, etc

[/quote]

Yep, things are much different now too.

Think about how female criteria has changed from most of human history.

They use to pick mates based on their ability to protect them - society is ultra safe now, they don’t need you

They use to pick men who could provide for them - no need, she earns her own money

There use to be a social stigma around single motherhood to the point where daughters would be rushed out of town so people wouldn’t find out they were pregnant. Now there is no stigma and single motherhood is embraced making a long term partner unimportant.

Learning game has become very important in this dating market. Unless your tall, handsome, have a huge cock and make a shit load of money you need game.

[/quote]
I’m 5’10", average in just about every way, and pretty reserved… and yet, i’ve always done ok for myself when it comes to women.

I KNOW i’m not an anomaly/special snowflake :slight_smile:

What say you, Raj?

[/quote]

From your posting syle, you seem to be comfortable and confident in yourself which is most of the battle. I guess your like that IRL.

638

I asked my Asian ex-gf the other day what it is about Asian girls and white guys. Her answer: “because they’re tall”. On other occasions, she’s mentioned that it lets them wear their cute heels and still be shorter than the guy.

However, no clue why it seems to be almost exclusively white guys. We’re not the only guys that are taller.

639

[quote]LoRez wrote:
I asked my Asian ex-gf the other day what it is about Asian girls and white guys. Her answer: “because they’re tall”. On other occasions, she’s mentioned that it lets them wear their cute heels and still be shorter than the guy.

However, no clue why it seems to be almost exclusively white guys. We’re not the only guys that are taller.[/quote]

X2 on Asian girls wanting height, my experince too . it seems like a prerequisite for them.

640

[quote]LoRez wrote:
I asked my Asian ex-gf the other day what it is about Asian girls and white guys. Her answer: “because they’re tall”. On other occasions, she’s mentioned that it lets them wear their cute heels and still be shorter than the guy.

However, no clue why it seems to be almost exclusively white guys. We’re not the only guys that are taller.[/quote]

Haha! Hilarious!

That is THE classic number one survey says top answer given by Japanese females when asked what trait they most desire in a man.

Before successful. Before handsome. Before dependable.

Tall.