[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
fear that this is somehow not real, or that he’ll get tired of me.[/quote]
Huh. It’s interesting to know that all women experience this; even the intelligent, successful ones.
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
fear that this is somehow not real, or that he’ll get tired of me.[/quote]
Huh. It’s interesting to know that all women experience this; even the intelligent, successful ones.[/quote]
Really? Why? The first thing that came to mind when I read this is the classic insecure borderline-type response, which I hate to think of in myself.
Don’t all people experience this fear at some point?
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Congrats!
Don’t be afraid. Thats the risk of letting good things happen (it might end!). Enjoy. You’ve earned it.
[/quote]
To quote a friend: You can’t steal second with your foot on first.[/quote]
No, and I try to be brave generally because being a coward is unacceptable. I’ve jumped with both feet into whatever this is and am hoping for the best.
I should be around more over the next couple of weeks. We just got back from a few days at the beach, and now he’s out of town working. After a quick overnight here with me on Friday he’ll head out for Mother’s Day and then a week of golfing and drinking with his pals. I’ll be catching up on my posting. 
I meant to post an exchange I thought you neanderthals would appreciate.
Me, semi-jokingly: “You’re not listening to me.”
Him: “Oh, I’m listening to you. I’m just not obeying you.”
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
fear that this is somehow not real, or that he’ll get tired of me.[/quote]
Huh. It’s interesting to know that all women experience this; even the intelligent, successful ones.[/quote]
Really? Why? The first thing that came to mind when I read this is the classic insecure borderline-type response, which I hate to think of in myself.
Don’t all people experience this fear at some point?
[/quote]
I dunno; I’ve never felt that way, and I’ve never heard any of my guy friends say that, but I’ve heard this from many females pretty much verbatim.
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Congrats!
Don’t be afraid. Thats the risk of letting good things happen (it might end!). Enjoy. You’ve earned it.
[/quote]
To quote a friend: You can’t steal second with your foot on first.[/quote]
No, and I try to be brave generally because being a coward is unacceptable. I’ve jumped with both feet into whatever this is and am hoping for the best.
I should be around more over the next couple of weeks. We just got back from a few days at the beach, and now he’s out of town working. After a quick overnight here with me on Friday he’ll head out for Mother’s Day and then a week of golfing and drinking with his pals. I’ll be catching up on my posting. :-)[/quote]
I think that you’ve shown a good mix of caution and abandon. My comment was more general than directed at you.
We have become your friends of convenience – for when he’s not around.
;-)[/quote]
I always check in (read), I just don’t always have time or energy to post. I love my four day work weeks, but I’m completely drained after an 8 or 9 client day plus colleague chat. So partly it’s Hockey and partly it’s the job change and explosion of my caseload.
We’ve also been out of town every weekend lately, and I don’t bring my laptop.
So things may perk up even with him around. Bros before ho’s and all that. . .
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
fear that this is somehow not real, or that he’ll get tired of me.[/quote]
Huh. It’s interesting to know that all women experience this; even the intelligent, successful ones.[/quote]
Really? Why? The first thing that came to mind when I read this is the classic insecure borderline-type response, which I hate to think of in myself.
Don’t all people experience this fear at some point?
[/quote]
I dunno; I’ve never felt that way, and I’ve never heard any of my guy friends say that, but I’ve heard this from many females pretty much verbatim.[/quote]
Hmm. Tim expressed it to me; that I could do better, that I would get tired of him. Of course, he knew all along that he was behaving in ways that would ultimately ensure that outcome.
I don’t think Hockey can do better than me. He’s not perfect, and I’m not terribly flawed. He already knows all of my downsides, I think. I guess my feeling is a superstitious one rather than a lack of confidence in myself. Or maybe not; I’ve thought my self-esteem was robust but maybe I’m uncovering cracks. I’m still feeling unsettled about not being needed.
He also has a history with women that makes me worry that he has the potential to withdraw suddenly. (Actually, AC’s and Orion’s doomsday scenario.) But then, I suppose I have a history that makes cold feet possible on my side, too.
Anyway, going back to a gender divide about these feelings, I wonder if women are inclined to question the durability of wonderful relationships because of the endless gaming they encounter in youth?
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Hmm. Tim expressed it to me; that I could do better, that I would get tired of him. Of course, he knew all along that he was behaving in ways that would ultimately ensure that outcome.
I don’t think Hockey can do better than me. He’s not perfect, and I’m not terribly flawed. He already knows all of my downsides, I think. I guess my feeling is a superstitious one rather than a lack of confidence in myself. Or maybe not; I’ve thought my self-esteem was robust but maybe I’m uncovering cracks. I’m still feeling unsettled about not being needed.
He also has a history with women that makes me worry that he has the potential to withdraw suddenly. (Actually, AC’s and Orion’s doomsday scenario.) But then, I suppose I have a history that makes cold feet possible on my side, too.
Anyway, going back to a gender divide about these feelings, I wonder if women are inclined to question the durability of wonderful relationships because of the endless gaming they encounter in youth?[/quote]
Your tone here caught me off-guard. Your posts for awhile have been warm and relatively happy; this one’s pretty cold with an undertone of self-doubt. I’d just be careful to not let that grow into something more.
Just saying.
Well, and “I don’t think Hockey can do better than me” also threw me. Didn’t expect such black/white judgement, either of yourself or him.
lol, that line threw me off too.
I’m guessing she got dressed this AM and looked especially good so it bumped up her self-confidence a couple notches.
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Congrats!
Don’t be afraid. Thats the risk of letting good things happen (it might end!). Enjoy. You’ve earned it.
[/quote]
To quote a friend: You can’t steal second with your foot on first.[/quote]
No, and I try to be brave generally because being a coward is unacceptable. I’ve jumped with both feet into whatever this is and am hoping for the best.
I should be around more over the next couple of weeks. We just got back from a few days at the beach, and now he’s out of town working. After a quick overnight here with me on Friday he’ll head out for Mother’s Day and then a week of golfing and drinking with his pals. I’ll be catching up on my posting. :-)[/quote]
I think that you’ve shown a good mix of caution and abandon. My comment was more general than directed at you.
We have become your friends of convenience – for when he’s not around.
;-)[/quote]
I always check in (read), I just don’t always have time or energy to post. I love my four day work weeks, but I’m completely drained after an 8 or 9 client day plus colleague chat. So partly it’s Hockey and partly it’s the job change and explosion of my caseload.
We’ve also been out of town every weekend lately, and I don’t bring my laptop.
So things may perk up even with him around. Bros before ho’s and all that. . .[/quote]
That made me laugh, but I think you’re supposed to say “Chicks before dicks.”
[/quote]
I don’t really think of you guys as chicks.
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
lol, that line threw me off too.
I’m guessing she got dressed this AM and looked especially good so it bumped up her self-confidence a couple notches.[/quote]
Ack, I didn’t mean that he COULDN’T do better than me in some regard, I meant that I’m not thinking that I’m not good enough or that other women are a threat. (Where could he possibly find someone as delightfully modest as me? lol)
I’m realizing that I’ve previously kept one foot safely out of the water, emotionally. It’s a surprise to me, because I’ve always thought of myself as all in.
I don’t feel cold at all; just the opposite. I’m daydreaming about things that I never even knew I wanted, and it’s scary because I’m realizing I want them very badly.
Bros before schmoes 
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I meant to post an exchange I thought you neanderthals would appreciate.
Me, semi-jokingly: “You’re not listening to me.”
Him: “Oh, I’m listening to you. I’m just not obeying you.”
[/quote]
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Anyway, going back to a gender divide about these feelings, I wonder if women are inclined to question the durability of wonderful relationships because of the endless gaming they encounter in youth?
[/quote]
No, they are inclined to do that because they bat consistently out of their league as long as they have the upper hand in the SMP.
Of course they get hurt.
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Anyway, going back to a gender divide about these feelings, I wonder if women are inclined to question the durability of wonderful relationships because of the endless gaming they encounter in youth?
[/quote]
No, they are inclined to do that because they bat consistently out of their league as long as they have the upper hand in the SMP.
Of course they get hurt. [/quote]
I don’t think I’m batting out of my league, or ever have. I’ve still gotten hurt.