Sorry about the friend’s diagnosis and your immune response 
Thanks for the concern.
Emotion is contagious. The stress here is palpable. I’m trying to shake it off, but it clings.
Sunday: 2.5 miles—planned to run farther but felt awful and decided it made little sense to push on.
Monday: rest
Tuesday: 3 miles @ 10 min mile pace. Feeling better. 2 miles stop and go with the dog.
Wed: 2.5 stop and go miles with the dog
squat triples: 65, 95,115, 135, 155. AMRAP 170x10
135 and 170 felt equally heavy. I’m glad I pushed through here and stuck with my 5-3-1 numbers. I suspect the reps were terrible. I know there was knee cave. I know I allowed the bar to slide down my back. I know they were not to depth. Still this felt like a victory. I achieved more than I thought possible today. And that is always a good feeling.
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Today, I felt the belief—that I can’t be as strong as I used to be—diminish. I’m going to be stronger. I feel that now.
Deadlifts: amrap 200x12
Pull-ups: ladder from 9 down to 1.
Bulgarians sets of 12
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Saturday: 35 min on bike. First time at level 6. Legs are getting stronger!
Sunday: bench amrap 90x14; mp amrap 60x10
Facepulls and push downs.
I don’t normally combine these two lifts and I definitely felt the fatigue of my bench amrap set when pressing.
Time and energy are at a premium right now. So I’m not
going to waste much of those things on bench or mp. Focused on squats and deads and I’m hoping I can keep improving there. But the real trick for me right now—the main thing I want to accomplish, the only thing I really need to do—is to keep showing up in my little home gym 3x a week no matter what.
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Woke up to singing birds and an urging mind. Get up, get going, go, go, go.
Last week of running was unproductive. That’s ok. I needed a break. But it’s easy for one take-it-easy week to become two and then all of the sudden without really ever consciously choosing to do so—I have pissed away all of my gains.
My legs felt good today. I held back during the early miles but by the end of the run my urging mind was telling me to let go and just go.
Let the body run.
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Squats: amrap 180x7; heavy singles 190, 200.
Making progress. 190 was nearly decent. 200 wasn’t great. But it was 200. Next time it will be better.
Pull-ups laddering down from 10-1.
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Bike 45 minutes
Deadlifts: amrap 210x12
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10k/10 min mile pace.
Feeling a bit overwhelmed and cranky. Annoyed with the hills a at mile 5. I swear they were steeper and more formidable. I narrowed my gaze and shortened my stride and cursed them with every step. Right foot fuck. Left foot you. A profanity laced moving meditation. I felt better for it. And I conquered those … insert more profanity.
I need a vacation.
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Predator or prey. I’ve re-examined my life in those terms
Since the encounter with the coyote. I have sometimes embraced the characteristics of a prey animal. I’m not doing that anymore. Being physically capable and improving my physical abilities is what motivates my training. The rock weighs what the rock weighs. You can either pick it up or you can not.
We went back into the woods today for an easy 3 miles. A few steps in… the air is different. My body relaxes. I have missed this place more than I realized. I love this place.
This is the end of cycle 7. MP and Bench today. Blegh. I’ve picked the low hanging strength gains on these lifts. I’m at my sticking points.
MP amrap 65x9
Bench amrap 95x 10–failed at rep 11.
Hitting those weights for amrap sets of 12 is what I wanted. Last few reps continue to elude.
Looking ahead to cycle 8, I need to decide whether to reset my squat max or push the heavier weights another cycle. I’m not entirely sure
That it would be productive to try to rep out with 185. At the same time I don’t want to quit early and assume I can’t handle that weight for reps. I’m close to a lifetime PR @ anything over 205. I’d really like to hit that before I back down. But my squat at 200 was not great at all and I’m afraid adding that additional 10 pounds is a ways a way still.
This is 190 and 200. Depth ain’t great on either. But 200 is worser. 
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Can you do 3-5 smooth reps with your training max?
That’s undetermined still. Do maybe. Do smoothly — that’s pretty doubtful given my recent past efforts.
I have not repped more than 185x3. My training max, if I add weight for cycle 8 will be 195. I’ve done that for a knee caving single.
My 5-3-1 amrap set would require reps at 185. (I’m doing 95% of my training max in my 5-3-1 day. ). So I’ve considered moving forward because I may be able to push that triple at 185 to 5 reps.
But at this point, the weight is not really submaximal for me. I assume wendler advises that training max should always be a weight you can smoothly triple?
I thought I might run concurrent 5-3-1 numbers— 195 and than a reset max that I use for a drop set if it feels necessary to get some training and not just testing affect.
I asked because Jim advises to use a TM you can hit for 3-5 smooth reps, even on a bad day. He’s quite adamant about that. I mean, I’ve very recently broken that rule, but don’t look at me as an example, hahaha.
5/3/1 is never about testing
Yeah, I think my desire not to reset my max is pretty shortsighted. Arff.
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Yes. This exactly.
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You belong among the wildflowers.
Sunday afternoon hike. 5 miles 1800 feet of elevation gain. Hot and harder than expected!
Monday rest.
Tuesday: starting cycle 8. Going to use the 3s, 5s, 5-3-1 template and take the 5s week as a kind of deload.
Triples 95, 115, 135, 155, amrap 175x8. Surprise! I’m adding weight. Everything over 135 feels heavy. At least when I put 175 on my back it is an accomplishment no matter the results and no matter how it feels. And I like that good feeling.
Pull-ups 10, 8,8,8,7,7
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Thursday: deadlifts triples: 135, 155, 175, 195x3
AMRAP 215x10. These looked quicker than they felt.
12 is the magic number for me, so 10 is not quite what I wanted.
Bulgarians.
Eventually I’m going to do more work, but I’m still progressing with the little I’m doing…so I’m staying the course.
Ran some this am with the dog.
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Sat: 6 miles
Sun: bench amrap 95x12! This was a struggle—room for improvement but happy with number.
MP amrap 65x7.
Facepulls, push downs, Yoga
Edited to add: 30 minutes on bike.
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Monday off:
Tuesday: squats 5s day no amrap
Pull-ups: 11, 10, 9, 8, 8, 7
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Wed: off
Thursday: deadlifts work up to 175x5. Felt awful.
Hanging leg raises 3 sets of 8
Facepulls and push downs 3 sets of 12
Pull-ups one set of 10
Friday and Saturday: Nothing. No motivation to run, which is weird. But it’s ok. It was a busy week and something had to give.
Sunday: bench work up to 100x9; MP 70x5. Pretty good bench day. But MP is suffering.
Monday: squats. Decided not to do an amrap set at 185. Triples: 65,85,105,125,145,165,185,195. 195 was a struggle.
Heavy singles: 205 and 210!
I was tentative at 205. I think depth might have been a tad better at 210 but it was a grind.
210 is a lifetime PR. I’m pleased with my progress over these 8 cycles. I wasn’t sure what to expect from my body —- it is surprising me.
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