got in a brawl at an irish pub in clovis, Ca… I punched out a short stocky guy… then i was hit in the back of the head by some other guy and don’t remember the rest
[quote]DickBag wrote:
it was last year, i was walking down the street to visit my favourite backwards hat store to look around. i was saggin my pants
suddenly out of no where this jerk punches me in the face. i cried and then i fought him back. long story short, i kicked his ass, and then i realised it wasnt a guy i was fighting it was my dog.
i loled, and pretendeded it didnt happen.
i still sag my pants.
bro
[/quote]
brah
This is the only fight I’ve been in since I started training wrestling, bjj, and muay thai. It was about 5 years ago, when I was a 2LT.
I was in a bar and a fight broke out, the bouncers were handling one of the guys and I’m not sure what happened but the other guy hit some guy who went down and then went after a girl who was standing there, I moved between him and her and took the punch he was throwing at her in my shoulder.
Then I pushed him away, after which he threw at punch at me. I slipped the punch and took his back and put him in a RNC. He passed out in a second or two and I let him fall down to the floor. He quickly woke up, but was thrown out of the bar.
Nobody ever said anything to me and I don’t know what happened to the girl he initially tried to hit. My friends were just like, “That was badass!”
I was in Toronto with a buddy when I was 19, cause we heard the legal drinking age was 19…I was drunk off my mind and ended up in prison…don’t have much recollection as to what happened, but my buddy told me he and I accidentally (honest) walked into a gay bar and he said, “c’mon let’s go” after realizing there were no girls in there…
on the way out some guy called me cutie and apparenly I pounded him…luckily he didn’t press charges.
Only fight I got into after high school I was blackout drunk I muscled some fella out of a house party and slammed him onto the ground and he was out cold. People told me about it afterward.
I bounced at this college bar for a while but I don’t really count those as fights, none were that serious to be honest.
The last scrap I was in was about a year ago at a Slayer concert. This big drunkard was beating the shit out of a smaller drunkard. I pulled them apart and threw the bigger guy down, trying to restrain him until security got there. Meanwhile the other son of a bitch stamped on my foot and broke my big toe.
Alright then, I’m a chick but I’ll respond.
Back when I was about 14 years old, my ‘rocker’ mates and I were waiting for the bus. We saw this girl that we knew from school, her name was Pam Hill. Well, goodheartedly… one of my mates went to her and said, ‘hey i know you we go to the same school’… and Pam replied with …‘I don’t know you, get the fuck away from me’. Well, that’s when I stepped up and Pam at least acknowledged me, but the whole bus ride back to our town she kept flipping my friends the finger.
So, get this… my friends the whole way were talking about kicking her ass. I mean they were really getting riled up and getting me riled up as a result. Not surprisingly we all get off at the same stop, and the three of us walk up to her and my friends are like ‘why were you dogging us’… and Pam said basically I don’t know you bitches …while really swinging her neck around like some white girl lost in Compton.
Also, she ran off … and I don’t blame her, there were three of us. Little did she know the other two were total weakling cunts. For that matter, little did I know either.
Regardless of where Pam walked, we had to walk the same way too. So every few feet she would turn around and shout some shit …and my friends would act all tough like they were going to beat her. By the end of our walk, the instigator (also the one who had talked the most shit) had bowed out and gone home. I still had a ways to go. So it was me and one other girl. And shit talking Pam. So there we all were walking the same way.
Finally Pam stopped. She shouted ‘you are fucking whores’ in our faces and started to turn around to keep walking. I reacted. I grabbed Pam by the back of her hair, making her face frontwards, and clobbered the fuck out of her face. BAM. BAM PAM. Well people, Pam was a fat bitch… and I wasn’t., and this motion caused her to fall forward. On Me. I smacked my head on the cement, and that was no picnic. But I recovered enough to start wailing on her fatness. To not much avail.
We layed there in the street wrestling around, all her fake nails popped off, and the friend I was with was just screaming on the sidelines . Pam and I kind of mutually let go of eachother in a stalemate eventually and ran off. We saw cars driving by trying to get looks and felt lame. Which we were.
I got home and I had a concussion from that fatass bitch falling on me. I slept for about 19 hours and nobody knew… which is slightly dangerous. BUT, what pisses me off is, two days later at school (we both stayed out next day) Pam said me and 5 other chicks jumped her. Total bullshit. She got followed by three and ONE busted her face. Me. The one she knew in the first place… who had no reason but that she was dissing her friends.
Oh, good times. Lol
[quote]sen say wrote:
on the way out some guy called me cutie and apparently I pounded him…luckily he didn’t press charges.[/quote]
Sodomy charges?
[quote]Testy1 wrote:
sen say wrote:
on the way out some guy called me cutie and apparently I pounded him…luckily he didn’t press charges.
Sodomy charges?
[/quote]
LOL!
I’ve fought a wall before, does that count?
I ended up with bloody knuckles, a bruised head, and legs that did not want to walk, but I think it knew who was boss.
[quote]Xen Nova wrote:
At USC actually,
3 of my friends (at the time) and I get jumped by a gang, they were bloods or at least said they were, I think if they were really bangin’ they would have just shot us…
anyway,
my one friend just stood there, another one jumped in his car and drove off (i never talked to either of them ever again), one buddy (boxer) and myself (primarily wrestler at the time) basically ran shop on about 8 guys.
he started (basically) going one on one with 1 guy and he kept hitting the guy so his friends jumped in, i started throwing his friends, i got hit with a beer bottle by some tall fat guy, but i just shot for his leg and i know i snapped something, ankle probably
The shit hit the fan when i grapped a kid by the throat pushed him against a car windshield and threw an elbow at his face… hit his eye made a shatter pattern in the window I’ve never seen anyone go down so hard in my entire life i know for certain i shattered his orbital (felt something crush and ‘mush’ if that makes sense) but I don’t know about the other damage.
Anyway he let out an ungodly yell so he was seriously hurt and then someone shot a gun into the air and I was gone and over a wall before i even realized I started running
go trojans?
[/quote]
Goddamnit, thats another thing I need to add to my list of things I must accomplish before I die.
- Running shop on about 8 guys.
NeelyDan vs. Guelph, Ontario University Football Team
Setting: Joe Rockhead’s, Guelph, Ontario
Scene:
Big Derek (aptly named) is quite happily sauced and showing obvious concern for a fine looking young lady who is in the lobby of the bar crying, on the payphone.
Fat, out of shape bouncer approaches Derek, informing him that he can’t have a beer in said lobby, tells him to leave.
Big Derek ignores said request, wanting to make certain aforementioned young lady is safe and sound (drunks make excellent heroes).
Bouncer recruits bouncer friends, equally intimidating as their rotund colleague. NeelyDan watches the fun from the bar, in between discussions with retarded maple leaf fans who dare compare anyone ever having worn the leafs sweater to Cameron M. Neely.
A heated discussion breaks out between Big Derek and a group of 4 bouncers, who try to physically remove him from the bar. Derek stubbornly grabs hold of the railing, NeelyDan chuckles as 4 grown men are unable to remove one large, in shape man from the scene.
Original Captain Rotundo bouncer COVERS DEREK’S EYES, while his arms are tied up by the other bouncers, and starts smashing him in the face. Looks like a flabby armed spanking machine.
NeelyDan sees red at this injustice, and launches all 5 foot 7 inches of him on Captain Rotundo, levelling him with a furious blow (haw~) and watching him crumple to the floor.
Now…Captain Rotundo, inexplicably, was friends with the quarterback of the local university football team. How two people of such obviously contrasting levels of fitness find anything in common I will never know. Video games make wonderful bridges, I suppose.
Anyhow, I digress: upon NeelyDan’s rather quick exit from the bar, along with Big Derek, who is restrained OUTSIDE the bar by the same bouncers, out comes the entire Guelph university football team, along with their jawing quarterback.
Now, the quarterback wants retribution for my demolishing of his fat friend, and of course, being spurred on by his band of idiots, is frothing at the mouth. NeelyDan is smiling, and the bar’s patrons have all spilled outside to watch the fun.
A giant circle is formed around NeelyDan and Cletus the Quarterback, and, much like primary school days, chants, hoots and hollers are all that can be heard - further adding adrenaline to the now completely incoherent QB, who then tears off his shirt like Hulk Hogan and rushes towards NeelyDan.
NeelyDan assumes an athletic position (haw~) and like he has for the past few years in hockey fights, ties up his opponent’s right arm while keeping his own right cocked (haw~) and ready.
This strategy works quite well unless you end up with a southie as an opponent, which, in keeping with the luck of the evening, NeelyDan indeed ended up with. As lefts come raining down upon the skull of our hero, a voice is heard - Big Derek, in the background still restrained by Friar Tuck and the gang, screams: “Swing, Dano!”
NeelyDan figures he’d better listen and try and mount some sort of offense - swings over the top, blindly, wildly, in hopes of connecting in any way - and, like Dredrick Tatum on the crown of Homer J Simpson, connects right on the button. Cletus the QB’s legs give out, and he crashes down to the pavement, completely out cold.
The crowd quiets.
Friar Tuck and the gang release Big Derek, stunned in what they had just witnessed. The football team, after wiping the spittle from their previously frothing mouths, look towards NeelyDan and begin inching towards him.
Big Derek, with his wits about him, picks NeelyDan up with one arm and throws him into his super cool 1976 Jeep Topless (haw~) CJ and the protagonists speed away with the local bar crowd in fruitless pursuit.
And the next day I got a puppy.
[quote]sen say wrote:
Testy1 wrote:
sen say wrote:
on the way out some guy called me cutie and apparently I pounded him…luckily he didn’t press charges.
Sodomy charges?
LOL![/quote]
LOL indeed. He called you cutie and you wasted no time in pounding him almost to the point of felony charges. Damn.
D
[quote]NeelyDan wrote:
NeelyDan vs. Guelph, Ontario University Football Team
[/quote]
Post more often please
[quote]NeelyDan wrote:
NeelyDan vs. Guelph, Ontario University Football Team[/quote]
I’ll buy your autobiography.
[quote]NeelyDan wrote:
NeelyDan vs. Guelph, Ontario University Football Team
Setting: Joe Rockhead’s, Guelph, Ontario
Scene:
And the next day I got a puppy.
[/quote]
outstanding story sir
That was the best story EVER
[quote]Xen Nova wrote:
That was the best story EVER[/quote]
Not EVER…but it was definitely up there.
[quote]NeelyDan wrote:
NeelyDan vs. Guelph, Ontario University Football Team
Setting: Joe Rockhead’s, Guelph, Ontario
Scene:
Big Derek (aptly named) is quite happily sauced and showing obvious concern for a fine looking young lady who is in the lobby of the bar crying, on the payphone.
Fat, out of shape bouncer approaches Derek, informing him that he can’t have a beer in said lobby, tells him to leave.
Big Derek ignores said request, wanting to make certain aforementioned young lady is safe and sound (drunks make excellent heroes).
Bouncer recruits bouncer friends, equally intimidating as their rotund colleague. NeelyDan watches the fun from the bar, in between discussions with retarded maple leaf fans who dare compare anyone ever having worn the leafs sweater to Cameron M. Neely.
A heated discussion breaks out between Big Derek and a group of 4 bouncers, who try to physically remove him from the bar. Derek stubbornly grabs hold of the railing, NeelyDan chuckles as 4 grown men are unable to remove one large, in shape man from the scene.
Original Captain Rotundo bouncer COVERS DEREK’S EYES, while his arms are tied up by the other bouncers, and starts smashing him in the face. Looks like a flabby armed spanking machine.
NeelyDan sees red at this injustice, and launches all 5 foot 7 inches of him on Captain Rotundo, levelling him with a furious blow (haw~) and watching him crumple to the floor.
Now…Captain Rotundo, inexplicably, was friends with the quarterback of the local university football team. How two people of such obviously contrasting levels of fitness find anything in common I will never know. Video games make wonderful bridges, I suppose.
Anyhow, I digress: upon NeelyDan’s rather quick exit from the bar, along with Big Derek, who is restrained OUTSIDE the bar by the same bouncers, out comes the entire Guelph university football team, along with their jawing quarterback.
Now, the quarterback wants retribution for my demolishing of his fat friend, and of course, being spurred on by his band of idiots, is frothing at the mouth. NeelyDan is smiling, and the bar’s patrons have all spilled outside to watch the fun.
A giant circle is formed around NeelyDan and Cletus the Quarterback, and, much like primary school days, chants, hoots and hollers are all that can be heard - further adding adrenaline to the now completely incoherent QB, who then tears off his shirt like Hulk Hogan and rushes towards NeelyDan.
NeelyDan assumes an athletic position (haw~) and like he has for the past few years in hockey fights, ties up his opponent’s right arm while keeping his own right cocked (haw~) and ready.
This strategy works quite well unless you end up with a southie as an opponent, which, in keeping with the luck of the evening, NeelyDan indeed ended up with. As lefts come raining down upon the skull of our hero, a voice is heard - Big Derek, in the background still restrained by Friar Tuck and the gang, screams: “Swing, Dano!”
NeelyDan figures he’d better listen and try and mount some sort of offense - swings over the top, blindly, wildly, in hopes of connecting in any way - and, like Dredrick Tatum on the crown of Homer J Simpson, connects right on the button. Cletus the QB’s legs give out, and he crashes down to the pavement, completely out cold.
The crowd quiets.
Friar Tuck and the gang release Big Derek, stunned in what they had just witnessed. The football team, after wiping the spittle from their previously frothing mouths, look towards NeelyDan and begin inching towards him.
Big Derek, with his wits about him, picks NeelyDan up with one arm and throws him into his super cool 1976 Jeep Topless (haw~) CJ and the protagonists speed away with the local bar crowd in fruitless pursuit.
And the next day I got a puppy.
[/quote]
excellent story but what is (haw~)?
[quote]sen say wrote:
I was hooking it up with this hottie at a party when a STOP sign blocked my cock. I tore that fucker out of the ground.
/story/[/quote]
We have a winner.
A few months ago my wife & I were at a local music festival, I would have to estimate that there were 60000+ people there. We had been drinking & eating all day having a great time. My wife goes to the bathroom with a girlfriend of hers and she is taking forever so were about to miss the start of The Black Crows & im getting anxious (drunk).
So she walks up an hour later & there are these two guys walking up with them. No big deal, my wife & her friend are hot so i understand. As she walks up to me i start asking her what took so long blah blah. And this guy starts telling me, “fuck you asshole dont talk to a lady like that, she can do whatever she wants!! (keep in mind we’ve been married 10 years with 2 kids) anyway, i look over at him and say, listen buddy this is my wife so just get the fuck out of here & mind your business!!” You would think he would back off & realize this is not his place to get involved. WRONG.
Apparently the liquid courage in his hand had removed his common sense and he says “fuck you & your stuck up wife” then procedes to reach out & grab my wifes ass as he walks away. YEAH BABY!!! Lets take a quick inventory of whats in my system right now. I had a days worth of alcohol, i was in the sun all day, my adrenaline was already through the roof, i had 6 months of MMA training that had not been used in a real situation & i had enough “supplements” in my system to kill a horse!! I LOST IT!
as he was walking away i hit him at the base of his neck with a straight right hand that put him face first into a lemonade stand and down to the ground, his buddy who really thought twice about it when he saw the rage in my eyes came at me and with some fucking crouching tiger flying kick bullshit, i wrapped his leg with my left arm, put my hand on his chest & slammed him on his back with all i had. He hit the ground and lost all his breath from the impact. I got full mount & started destroying this guys face in. While all this is happening the first guy busts me in the temple with a punch, which hurt (later that night) but i quickly stood up from his buddy, went at him again & the guy hauled ass running, he didnt even look back to check on his buddy.
Before i knew it i had Palm Beach Countys finest all over me. After an hour of explanations & witnesses (including the bloody friend) telling the cops what happened they let me go but i was escorted to my car.
The next day i had a baseball sized lump on the side of my head, a broken pinky knuckle, & a wife that to this day says she has never seen that kind of controlled, deliberate rage in her life. I think i scared her a bit, but she knows thats not the kind of person i really am and would probably never see that again. at least not outside the cage. thats my 2 cents, was i wrong in reacting like that?