[quote]gonta wrote:
Just a few insignificant comments -
firstly, nicely written but you obviously have a lot of pent up hostility.[/quote]
Yeah, I think I do.
[quote]
It really isn’t about the noise is it? Be honest. You are frustrated in general. Come on if it is really about the noise there is an easy solution - there are other neighbors - talk to them. If they are bothered by the noise then get them all to speak to the noisy one - or if you need to all get together and phone the cops. [/quote]
Its not about the noise, it was more about the lack of respect and blatant dissing without fear of retaliation. I was made painfully aware that I am indeed bound by unnatural laws that stress my moral fibers to the point of deformation (I know thats called strain but it sounded better;))
[quote]
The cops will not ignore 4 or 5 calls about noise.[/quote]
Perhaps, I did call them three times that night and they weren’t phased.
I’m still lifting and starting training for some bobsled competitions but I think I need some MA again. I have no excuse because there is a great training facility right next to the powerlifting gym.
[quote]
You were very wise not to “kick down the door” as someone else suggested. your wife and daughter would have loved to see you being hauled away by the police.
I know - i would have loved to punch the shit out of the guy as well but self control is the secret to life. Anyway, I feel for you as I am in a similar position - a stranger in a strange land - that is.
Good luck. i for one would love to hear more from you in the future about how you are coping.[/quote]
Thanks for the feedback and added perspective, it helps.
I must admit that as usual, there is more to the story than is readily apparent. My frustration has been building since the age of 17 when I began to learn about the world as it really is and not as I was either led to believe or perceived it to be. I spent the first 20 years of my life doing what I was either told to do or was convinced to do.
Once I began doing things my way even at my own proffesional or societal stature oriented ‘expense’ (degree in Philosophy instead of engineering) I found out that most people are not willing to break from the majority. I personally find no comfort in numbers. I would rather stand alone on solid ground than fade away in a crowd of uncertainty. I know my view is one sided and a bit jaded but I have been on both sides of the fence and I know for a fact that the majority is wrong 99.99% of the time. I won’t hazard a guess as to the reasons why because I only have so many hours in the day and brain cells to fire. My own pursuits usually take all the brain power I can muster. I find it hard enough to figure out my own true motivations much else a society’s majority. Instead I try and focus on the things that can be manipulated like my own behavioural patterns and situational responses. Because of this, I often put an unneeded amount of thought into even the smallest of actions to ensure that I am not acting for emotional or selfish reasons.
My frustration is indeed the root of my problems with doing things the Swedish way at the current time. I can deal with frustration and can apply the afforementioned techniques to help dispel the aggressive tendencies but I fear once again their is more to the story. I fear that the frustration I feel is a byproduct of my desire to pursue strength instead of weakness, to maintain purity of action and strength of conviction, and most importantly to remain true to my beliefs.
I have grown fond of the feelings of isolation and social dis-integration. It reminds me that I am not on the path followed by the majority. This makes the odds pretty good that I am indeed following the right path, or at least one suited to my personal goals.
If at the end of my journey I find nothing but a sea of frustraion and an oceanliner full of blank faces screaming FUCK YOU then I can take solice in the fact that I will only spend a few moments drowning, and not a lifetime. Because I’ll be damned if I’m gonna board a sinking ship, I’d rather die a wicked death at the hands of a formidable enemy than surrender my life to a majority of baffoons.
I’ve only scratched the surface of what is really causing my frustrations and is driving my pursuits in life. I don’t know how deep or how long this spring of insight will run but as long as it continues to trickle into my soul I’ll follow it. Mostly, in the hopes that I’ll end up spilling into an ocean of fortitude and strength, filled with men and women that can swim on their own; without the fear of drowning.
