John Berardi; Any Chance of Posting Your Personal Diet?

John: Your insights on this site are, and continue to be, invaluble. However, much like the kid trying to “sneak a peek” in the old “girly” shows at the fair (you are probably too young to remember that, but me and Bodz do!), we keep getting tempting, but intriguing, “bits and pieces” of the diet of “'da man” JB himself!

Any chance of giving us your meals for a typical day?

Thanks!

I dont know, that’s top secret classified government stuff. So what’s it worth to ya? Can I get a free testosterone t-shirt? How bout one of those free leather coats that chris shugart had on at the arnold show. What about a free date with TC? Uh, I was just kidding about that last one. No really, it was a joke.

JB, you kill me, man. Not only are you one intelligent, buff, experience (the list goes on and on) mofo, but you’ve got a helluva sense of humor? C’mon, Chef JB, just post your nutrition log from the past year or two in the next issue…maybe just supply us with one of those schedules we used to get in school saying what the cafeteria will be serving:-) I’m just pulling your chain. I’m worried about that TC thing, though…

Okay…the Lion would REALLY like to know a typical days Meal Plan from “the Godfather of Soul” (JB…get it? If you don’t get it 1) you’re probably too young or 2) your idea of “soul” is some burned out, almost brain dead rocker, singing an old Aretha Franklin tune…oh well…

(Note: The following memo comes from the Head Honchos and Lap Dancers at Biotest/Testosterone):

"We have been authorized to offer John (“J.B”)Berardi the following if he gives his long suffering, dedicated, “teased-much-too-long-about-his-diet” readers a basic outline of his daily meal plan. The outline must 1)be true and accurate to 2) Contain AT LEAST one EAS Myoplex ready to drink shake with low carbs. The offer:

1)1(one)week on a deserted, warm beach in the South Pacific Turtle islands with one Pam Anderson, Timea Marojova and Amy (“my butt is much too cute to be real”) Fadhali. However, we do understand that said J.B. may be going through this little “identity crisis” thing, so we have arranged for the follwing to replace the original three: Bill and Shawn Phillips and one TC Luoma for lap dances, foot rubs, and anything else freaky Mr. Berardi’s heart may desire.(Mr. Luoma says domination is ONLY by request).

2)A full weeks supply of “Grow!” Margaritas.

  1. A “TESTOSTERONE” t-shirt, thong, jacket, SCUBA gear, AND Wave Runner for Mr.Berardi, Ms. Anderson, Marojova and Fadhali. (OR Mr’s Phillips and Luoma, wherever on the AC/DC scale Mr.Barardi may be at time of said trip).

  2. A year’s subscription to “Oprah” and to “Lifetime TV” in order that J.B. may remain in touch with his feminine side.

5)A Year’s Membership to the most Hardcore Gym in the World; Annie’s Butt Shaper Gym and Manicure in Taledega Alabama.

(Note: The following offer expires when this thread goes into the T-mag Forum "no-man’s land).

JOHN: IN THE FAMOUS WORDS OF BEETLE-JUICE:“CAN’T A GUY GET A BREAK HERE,… HUH?”.

Okay. I spent a LOT of time at a very poor attempt at humor, so, what do you say? THE REST OF YOU GUYS POST SO THAT 1)THIS POST DOESN'T "DISSAPEAR" AND 2)the "big guy" will give us his diet outline!

Peace Out…The Lion…

Mufasa, my man, sounds like you picked up on the Lion King nomer. You like dat one? That last post was, well, interesting, and I did get a good chuckle out of it. While it would be pretty cool to see A Massive Eating Day in the Life of JB, I really think that if you look through some of the threads and articles, you can get a really good idea of how my man eats: 7 or 8 meals, more carb/protein than fat/protein (the man’s sensitive alright:-), he even posted his preworkout meal, the ratios he uses for the day…but if JB really wants to give out the secret to success (as if he hasn’t already), then I would love to check it out too. The fact that JB, the Godfather of Soul (and grubbing) himself, continues to answer to the beckon call of myself and all the other T-maggers with Massive Eating questions and aspirations is far and away more than enough. Now, Let’s Eat!

Agree, Timbo…these guys are great and share a lot of unbelievable info…keeps me humble and makes me realize I have a LOT to learn…
(P.S…John…I’m still groveling…)

Good idea guys! Lets see a “Day in the Life of a T-mag (staffer/ writer)” It could include workoing out, doing his business day, writing some articles, and preparing and eating his meals. I would buy it. It’s nice to have something to emulate. Also, JB, I think Timbo beat you to the punch for TC’S affection. I mean, Timbo is pretty affectionate to everyone if you ask me!

Mike-O, you bust me up, baby! Yeah, I’m kinda like that guy from the old Bud commercials, the I love you, man fella…I’m just trying to spread the love. I tell ya, I have one helluva time doing it too. I seriously hope you’re not implying anything there…I just really appreciate everything that I’ve been able to come away with from here, via T-mag staff and readers.

Guys, perhaps we should begin a “Massive Eating Support Group.” I’ve been talking to John about my diet, and he’s about convinced me I don’t eat enough during my “growth” phases. But I’ll be frank, I’m almost scared to consume the amount of food he’s advocating, as that ex-fat kid inside me from a long time ago thinks he’ll reappear in the mirror. And let’s not even talk about how much it’ll cost to eat massively, John Berardi-style!

I'm planning on a six week massive eating period beginning the middle of May, and will be logging my food for a while prior to that (actually, next week, after I return from Austin, TX and SXSW and lots of barbecue later this week). Having seen John eat, I know he practices what he preaches at the table.

So when it's time for me to eat massively again (I'm dieting a bit right now), I'll yell and ask for some support, 'cause it's not worth doing if I don't go all the way with it. Agreed?

Hey John, I'll schmooze you a cool rock'n'roll t-shirt in Austin this weekend and send it to you if you post one of your daily food logs.

John i hear ya about the support group…as an ex fat kid myself i’m sweatin bullets on this diet…but this support group sounds sweet…let’s do it up! How long are u guys gonna do this diet for anyway…6 weeks?Timbo keep the good posts comin buddy… always entertaining

K-Dawg (that’d be you John K), that sounds like one helluva plan. It really gets under my skin when I know exactly how much grub I need to be shovelin’ in but don’t do it. I think a support group–I don’t really like to call it that–with updates, q&a’s, and the like would be pretty sweet.

Lion King, I assume that was you, but it’s just a shot in the dark. Don’t worry, my man, I’ll be here. I plan on hitting the Massive Eating pretty hard either next week or the following week. I had been eating a consistent level for quite a while, so I’m cutting back for a week or two to really prime my body for some growth. I’m pumped as hell and ready to get a little dirty, boys!

I just heard from John Berardi; the reason he hasn’t posted recently and answered your followup questions is he’s busy up in Alaska, studying the eating patterns of the sled dogs in the Iditarod Sled Dog Race, as well as the caloric quality of blubber, to see if he can concoct a denser MRP or ready-to-drink formula for massive weight gain. We’ll hear from John when he returns from the frozen tundra.

I'm happy to hear some of you are in the same boat I'm in; here's what I'm doing right now. I had been eating pretty massively (or so I thought) up until the Arnold Classic, so I'm dieting for a few weeks (plus I'm planning on competing in some mountain bike races this spring and summer with Bob, so I'm leaaning out a bit for that. I know, biking and bodybuilding are mutually exclusive, but a guy's gotta have fun!). What I'm doing with my diet phase, though, is inspired by Berardi's teachings. I'm actually consuming more calories per day than I was, though broken up into more, smaller meals. Up to eight a day, really working to keep 'em smaller, and I think it's heating up my metabolism, as I'm slowly leaning out with no lean tissue loss, even though I'm eating more. Will continue this through the middle of May, when I'm going to go on a real big, six week Massive Eating cycle.