Japanese Men Refusing to Leave their Rooms

Off Topic
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[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]Brett620 wrote:
So what is the allure of Japan? What keeps guys there wanting to stay after 5 years (besides the women)? [/quote]

A more serious answer for you.

For the overwhelming majority of my 22 years here, it has been the language. It’s not quite so much anymore, but I was truly enthralled, enamored, bewitched – and whatever other words you want to use – by the Japanese language. Learning to master* all the nuances and subtleties possible in spoken Japanese; achieving literacy in, and the ability to handwrite the kanji, being able to debate Japanese people on current and historical events…these things just made me…happy and gratified, for lack of better words.

Other factors:

The beautiful and so-very-feminine women
The traditional arts and culture
The nature of the philosophy and religions
The martial arts
A great job that pays me tons for a moderate amount of work and allows all sort of freedoms

And, if I’m honest, the “specialness” of being a 6’ 4," in shape, not-bad-looking white guy who speaks pretty damn good Japanese and knows how to navigate the culture.

  • I say “master,” but it never really happens. You can keep improving, but you never “master” Japanese. [/quote]

For my own more substantial answer, I will first say that certainly everything that Varq and Chushin mentioned fall onto my list, so I will not repeat it again.

For me, however, in addition to all these things, I think that my own unique position within the community to provide a service that few can provide is a HUGE motivating factor. So motivating that I would probably continue to do it even if my wife and kids suddenly disappeared. Even after all this time, the Japanese are still highly cut-off from the rest of the world. As someone who knows the language, I am able to open up the rest of the world to those Japanese who are interested in learning about it, or who want their kids to have experience with cultures other than their own.

In addition to my school, I actually conduct overseas homestay tours for my students (up to now jr. high and high school kids) where I escort them to America and they stay in houses with host families who have similarly aged American kids. They go everywhere with their host families, even to the (private Catholic) schools with them all day. It is a completely mind blowing experience for a Japanese kid with no experience outside of Japan to go to America, where everything is VARIETY!!! QUALITY!!! SIZE!!! AMOUNT!!! MOREMOREMORE!!! and totally, totally different from everything they know.

Also, there are a LOT of bad ideas about foreigners here. I feel it is my duty to be a good role model for my country and show Japanese that, for all our differences, we really are NOT all that different. So, for my small part, there are a few thousand more students who will be teaching their kids to treat foreigners like they treat their friends, because they knew Cortes-sensei, and he was a pretty cool guy who treated them that way.

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Oh…and the wiminz!!!

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[quote]cstratton2 wrote:
I can’t wait to visit Japan! Might do an English teaching program over there after college as well! Envious of the yall that live there, Hard place to get a work visa that’s for sure…

Cortes you have a gorgeous family, lol this thread cracks me up shame I am so late to it haha[/quote]

They thanks cstratton and Emily! That means a lot coming from the two of you. I respect you both immensely.

Cstratton, I cannot recommend a stay in Japan highly enough. You time it right, I may have a job waiting for you here after you finish college. Let me know if you really are interested.

There is no better English teaching job anywhere in Japan than the one at my school. I really do mean that and I’ve been told it by others who’ve been able to compare.

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[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]Varqanir wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

Nah, kyoudai deshi, darou?

Hazukashii koto nai yo.[/quote]

So da na. Demo kimi no koto wo “sempai” to yobanakutemo ii darou… ;)[/quote]

Touzen!

Gyakuni, boku no koto wo “kohai” to yonda hou ga ii darou.

Even though I am OLD!

ha haha ha![/quote]

Ojisan de kekou ja nai?

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[quote]Cortes wrote:

There is no better English teaching job anywhere in Japan than the one at my school. I really do mean that and I’ve been told it by others who’ve been able to compare. [/quote]

That’s a mighty big claim, there, partner.

I might be interested in taking a look at your school. As you might know, I’ve done a bit of teaching myself, and even ran a school for the last five years I was there. You got a website?

Edit: alternatively, you can get my info from Chushin or Push, and send me details by email.

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Damn, looks like I missed the J-club party… and it looks like there is a new member! Welcome Q! lol

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[quote]Chushin wrote:
The comments of myself (which Raj seems bound and determined to not see :slight_smile: and Cortes, from the earlier thread:

Cortes wrote:

That’s a potentially HUGE can of worms to open, and there are related phenomena like the misuse of surgical masks as a form of “hiding in plain sight” from society, which I believe is more often practiced by females.

A few of the issues that probably lead to this are the incredibly exacting social structure of forced conformity that is moving into an era where people now have a form of escape that has never been historically available to them until now. So those weaker or less grounded citizen who would, in the past, would have been bullied and taken advantage of, but had to at least deal with it throughout their lives, now find they can shut themselves off and avoid such treatment by retreating to the relative safety of their rooms. Combine this with a society of enabling parents (kicking kids out of the house is nearly unheard of here, outside of pretty extreme cases) and…well, I don’t want to oversimplify anything. This is one small part of a much larger issue that would take volumes to adequately cover.

Btw, I’d like to hear your take on the hikikomori topic above, Chushin.

I wrote:

Short of maybe a comment about the fundamental nature of the forces of thrust in Japanese society (in a word, passivity = good / resistance = all that is bad), I think you summed it up quite well.

I might also add my own (work-in-progress) hypothesis that the devastating defeat of WWII pretty effectively discredited the Japanese masculine archetype – the bushi – leaving Japanese men with no model of manliness to guide them.

The non-verbal nature of Japanese culture also robs those who are suffering of a way out of their distress, leading to deep withdrawal on the part of many who might otherwise “talk their way out” with friends, relatives or trusted professionals. [/quote]

I haven’t gotten past pg 1 yet, but this is some of the best analysis I’ve seen. Much better than anything I could say. I I literally found myself nodding and saying “YES! Exactly”.

Chushin, I hope you publish your hypothesis.

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Oh, sure. Now that Quasi has decided that all the old Japan hands on the forum are cantankerous old sumbitches who just wanna keep secrets and tease the new guy for his inexperience, here comes Gambit all smiles and welcomes. Way to make us look bad, Gambit. Jeez. :wink:

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[quote]Varqanir wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

There is no better English teaching job anywhere in Japan than the one at my school. I really do mean that and I’ve been told it by others who’ve been able to compare. [/quote]

That’s a mighty big claim, there, partner.

I might be interested in taking a look at your school. As you might know, I’ve done a bit of teaching myself, and even ran a school for the last five years I was there. You got a website?

Edit: alternatively, you can get my info from Chushin or Push, and send me details by email. [/quote]

You have information coming your way, my friend!

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This thread has been fascinating, seriously. Out of curiosity how would a mook like me be treated if I started living there.

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[quote]MattyXL wrote:
This thread has been fascinating, seriously. Out of curiosity how would a mook like me be treated if I started living there. [/quote]

Like a freaking king. That’s the main thing that keeps most men here. A lot of it is a facade, not all, and the illusion portion is a powerful one. Think, everywhere you go, like, everywhere girls are giggling and flirting and telling you how cool you are and taking pictures with you and you can get dates with most of them if you want.

Am I quite the salesman, or what?

*edited

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holy shit, I just got a hard on.

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Did I mention there are almost no fat girls and most of the girls are beautiful? I did mention that, right?

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LOL yessir, just ordered my rosetta stone! Currently looking for work there lol

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[quote]Varqanir wrote:
Oh, sure. Now that Quasi has decided that all the old Japan hands on the forum are cantankerous old sumbitches who just wanna keep secrets and tease the new guy for his inexperience, here comes Gambit all smiles and welcomes. Way to make us look bad, Gambit. Jeez. ;)[/quote]

lol. I posted that before I got to pg2 where he got all whiny.

Q man, I’ve got a few years of “the nihongo” under my belt and STILL feel like these guys blow me out of the water when talking about the culture/people/country and ESPECIALLY language.

For a point of reference, from all the “old hands” I’ve spoken with, 1kyuu on the nihongo nouryokushiken æ?¥æ?¬èª?è?½å??試é¨? (does this forum do kanji?) is the “starting point” from where one can really learn about the culture… and I’m not there. My suggestion: make friendly, sit back, and enjoy. Or at least that’s what I do around these guys (and hell, cortes isn’t THAT much older than me).

Can you understand the culture? Sure. The same way a Japanese guy could understand the culture of Minnesota if he moved there for two years with limited language ability. Know what I mean? He would have gone fishing, had a good beer or two, maybe seen an ice-hole or gone to a hockey game, but he still wouldn’t know what the heck a “Bemidji” is.

Cortes, I just thought of something. As an FYI, I’ll be sending you a PM on FB sometime today (America time)

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[quote]Cortes wrote:
Did I mention there are almost no fat girls and most of the girls are beautiful? I did mention that, right? [/quote]

Then why are the men spending all this time in their rooms?

See what I did there?

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Thinking seriously about learning Japanese…