Japanese Men Refusing to Leave their Rooms

Off Topic
201

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]Aragorn wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

he quipped something like, “If something jumps off tonight, you got my back, right?” I still have his business card in my files. [/quote]

Maybe one of the best stories ever. Meeting the Emperor and getting “asked” to help tack shit down if it kicks off by one of his bodyguards? Yes, I think that might be the coolest thing ever.[/quote]

Hey, thanks, Aragon.

Lots of respect for you, so much appreciated.

Oh, alright…I’ll answer your question about women then. ;-)[/quote]

Hah! Works every time. Seriously though, badass story. And yeah, I’ve always had a very big part of my heart taken by Asian women and specifically Japanese women. I’ve also been interested in the history and philosophies and martial arts for as long as I can remember being able to read though.

202

[quote]Aragorn wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:
As for the 5 year mark, I think that’s probably because it’s so damned easy for a Western guy, no matter how hideous, to score a beautiful Japanese woman, and most guys tend to end up married if they are here that long (that’s what happened to me, anyway).
[/quote]
Hear that, Ron?[/quote]

Lol!

It really is true, though. I’ve seen male 3s with 10s here more often than I can count. [/quote]

So, I’m curious guys. Although struggling to say this in a non-homogenous way…how do most people react when a western guy approaches a japanese woman? I mean, the whole thing. Do guys get jealous/violent/whatever over there if you accidentally talked to one who was ‘taken’, as many places in the states or UK might in some blue collar areas or regions? (Londonboxer’s mentioned ‘you keep your eyes to yourself at all times’ more than a couple times during references in the combat forum)

Or is it even easy to approach a woman there in a bar, or is there another sort of expectation for decorum? I remember you said women wait for a man to approach them, that’s why there are many in their 30s unwed and alone, etc. etc. How does the game change?

I’ve only gotten to this point in the thread (don’t worry I’ll catch up quick) but I’ve always wondered how the dating scene goes as a foreigner. An intelligent, civilized, if culturally unaware foreigner, say as you said you were coming over Cortes.[/quote]

It’s pretty funny, actually. I will have a girl clearly flirt with me, well beyond what would be considered typical flirting, while she is with her boyfriend. I will, of course, enjoy the moment and smile and flirt back, but then, often, I’ll notice that her boyfriend notices me, too. At the worst, he starts smiling or calling me kakkoii or dekkai or sugee (cool, huge, or awesome) or something similar, as well. The girls will do this in front of my wife, too, who is awesome and thankfully not in the slightest bit jealous.

Picking up girls is super easy, too, because, by virtue of who you are, you have an excuse for every violation of decorum, and the girls can also feel relaxed because they can violate decorum, too, which has to be a huge relief to be able to do every once in a while in this society of rules, manners and propriety for every imaginable occasion.

Also, Western men are in high demand because we treat ladies MUCH better than do Japanese men, for the most part. We tend to open doors, cover meals, buy gifts, help around the house, cook and act generally more romantic than any Japanese guy would ever dream of acting. Girls just eat this stuff up. Most of them have never experienced such treatment before. Not that Japanese guys are mean or bad. Most of that stuff is just not a part of this culture, to the detriment of Japanese males and hikikomori everywhere.

203

Chushin–thanks for the correction, I could have sworn it was someone besides the new guy that said there were a fair amount of women alone etc. My apologies for misreading that.

So what you’re saying is that the idea of a 240 lb nordic guy with long hair and a reddish blond beard is catnip for girls? Hmmmm… lol.

204

Oops! Apologies for chain posting here. Still hoping Cortes will also weigh in as well.

Chushin–doesn’t sound arrogant at all. Sounds realistic, like it would be anywhere. I pride myself that as uncouth as I come across on the anonymous interwebz forum here I am actually quite civilized! Seriously though, your comment doesn’t sound bad, just sounds reasonable. After all, how could I possibly want to be with a woman who came to my country and didn’t have any respect for our way of doing things or traditions (such as they are in this baby country)? I’d want her to to be intelligent and classy and respect my way of thinking as well.

205

[quote]Chushin wrote:

Getting laid is easy. In some ways, too easy. Like being a rock star. The harder thing is finding a quality Japanese woman who is open to getting attached to a non-Japanese – and whose parents will allow that. If this weren’t an open forum, I could tell you my own horror stories in that regard.

Women like Cortes and I have found are not the rule (class, traditional in many ways, but open to foreign men). This will sound arrogant, but we got them because we have some class and respect for Japan and Japanese things ourselves.

(Edited)[/quote]

Chushin and I have a bit of disagreement about a few things above (I think it’s actually pretty easy to pick up women as a foreigner), but I wholeheartedly agree with the above. Wouldn’t strike a letter of it.

My mother-in-law was actually literally screaming and crying at my wife when she first learned about me (they are real old-world country people), but that did not last long at all after we met, and now we have one of the best parent-in-law/son-in-law relationships of anyone I know.

206

To anyone I have not replied to in this thread, I apologize. This thread is possibly the most enjoyable one I’ve ever participated in on T-Nation, but it is starting to overwhelm me and I do still have a business to run and family to take care of. I will do what I can to get everything answered today.

207

Like everyone has said, great thread guys. Truly.

A question I have is what are the feelings towards China(or the Chinese) and vice versa?

208

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]Aragorn wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:
As for the 5 year mark, I think that’s probably because it’s so damned easy for a Western guy, no matter how hideous, to score a beautiful Japanese woman, and most guys tend to end up married if they are here that long (that’s what happened to me, anyway).
[/quote]
Hear that, Ron?[/quote]

Lol!

It really is true, though. I’ve seen male 3s with 10s here more often than I can count. [/quote]

So, I’m curious guys. Although struggling to say this in a non-homogenous way…how do most people react when a western guy approaches a japanese woman? I mean, the whole thing. Do guys get jealous/violent/whatever over there if you accidentally talked to one who was ‘taken’, as many places in the states or UK might in some blue collar areas or regions? (Londonboxer’s mentioned ‘you keep your eyes to yourself at all times’ more than a couple times during references in the combat forum)

Or is it even easy to approach a woman there in a bar, or is there another sort of expectation for decorum? I remember you said women wait for a man to approach them, that’s why there are many in their 30s unwed and alone, etc. etc. How does the game change?

I’ve only gotten to this point in the thread (don’t worry I’ll catch up quick) but I’ve always wondered how the dating scene goes as a foreigner. An intelligent, civilized, if culturally unaware foreigner, say as you said you were coming over Cortes.[/quote]

It’s pretty funny, actually. I will have a girl clearly flirt with me, well beyond what would be considered typical flirting, while she is with her boyfriend. I will, of course, enjoy the moment and smile and flirt back, but then, often, I’ll notice that her boyfriend notices me, too. At the worst, he starts smiling or calling me kakkoii or dekkai or sugee (cool, huge, or awesome) or something similar, as well. The girls will do this in front of my wife, too, who is awesome and thankfully not in the slightest bit jealous.

Picking up girls is super easy, too, because, by virtue of who you are, you have an excuse for every violation of decorum, and the girls can also feel relaxed because they can violate decorum, too, which has to be a huge relief to be able to do every once in a while in this society of rules, manners and propriety for every imaginable occasion.

Also, Western men are in high demand because we treat ladies MUCH better than do Japanese men, for the most part. We tend to open doors, cover meals, buy gifts, help around the house, cook and act generally more romantic than any Japanese guy would ever dream of acting. Girls just eat this stuff up. Most of them have never experienced such treatment before. Not that Japanese guys are mean or bad. Most of that stuff is just not a part of this culture, to the detriment of Japanese males and hikikomori everywhere. [/quote]

That’s actually really awesome and makes complete sense. I especially like the excuse for violating decorum! Haha. I like to think that I am considerate of cultures and I do my best to adapt but there’s no hope I would be able to keep up with all the rules there no matter how hard I tried (which would probably end up being more comical than just winging it and trying to be polite). I can’t imagine the relief to be able to violate that sort of unspoken but constantly present decorum, since I love rebels here that do the same thing (with class and intelligence mind you!). Naturally of course different culture = different ways of showing that and not nearly americanized, but just in concept.

It’s fascinating to hear these things–as I told Chushin I’ve pretty much always been completely interested in the history, philosophy, martial arts, and other things in East Asia and specifically Japan.

I hear what you’re saying about the culture, I’m on the same page wrt: men treating women differently. But I like the idea that my treatment of women would go over better too, since my gifts and natural proclivities along the lines you mentioned go completely unrequited, but I think that is probably just because I’m a cynical bastard and my previous sig. other did no work at all in the balance of a year so I got pissed :P. Bitter? Maaaaybe… more just angry though hah.

209

[quote]farmerson12 wrote:
Like everyone has said, great thread guys. Truly.

A question I have is what are the feelings towards China(or the Chinese) and vice versa? [/quote]

Not nice. Both ways.

Koreans, too.

213

[quote]Aragorn wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]Aragorn wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:
As for the 5 year mark, I think that’s probably because it’s so damned easy for a Western guy, no matter how hideous, to score a beautiful Japanese woman, and most guys tend to end up married if they are here that long (that’s what happened to me, anyway).
[/quote]
Hear that, Ron?[/quote]

Lol!

It really is true, though. I’ve seen male 3s with 10s here more often than I can count. [/quote]

So, I’m curious guys. Although struggling to say this in a non-homogenous way…how do most people react when a western guy approaches a japanese woman? I mean, the whole thing. Do guys get jealous/violent/whatever over there if you accidentally talked to one who was ‘taken’, as many places in the states or UK might in some blue collar areas or regions? (Londonboxer’s mentioned ‘you keep your eyes to yourself at all times’ more than a couple times during references in the combat forum)

Or is it even easy to approach a woman there in a bar, or is there another sort of expectation for decorum? I remember you said women wait for a man to approach them, that’s why there are many in their 30s unwed and alone, etc. etc. How does the game change?

I’ve only gotten to this point in the thread (don’t worry I’ll catch up quick) but I’ve always wondered how the dating scene goes as a foreigner. An intelligent, civilized, if culturally unaware foreigner, say as you said you were coming over Cortes.[/quote]

It’s pretty funny, actually. I will have a girl clearly flirt with me, well beyond what would be considered typical flirting, while she is with her boyfriend. I will, of course, enjoy the moment and smile and flirt back, but then, often, I’ll notice that her boyfriend notices me, too. At the worst, he starts smiling or calling me kakkoii or dekkai or sugee (cool, huge, or awesome) or something similar, as well. The girls will do this in front of my wife, too, who is awesome and thankfully not in the slightest bit jealous.

Picking up girls is super easy, too, because, by virtue of who you are, you have an excuse for every violation of decorum, and the girls can also feel relaxed because they can violate decorum, too, which has to be a huge relief to be able to do every once in a while in this society of rules, manners and propriety for every imaginable occasion.

Also, Western men are in high demand because we treat ladies MUCH better than do Japanese men, for the most part. We tend to open doors, cover meals, buy gifts, help around the house, cook and act generally more romantic than any Japanese guy would ever dream of acting. Girls just eat this stuff up. Most of them have never experienced such treatment before. Not that Japanese guys are mean or bad. Most of that stuff is just not a part of this culture, to the detriment of Japanese males and hikikomori everywhere. [/quote]

That’s actually really awesome and makes complete sense. I especially like the excuse for violating decorum! Haha. I like to think that I am considerate of cultures and I do my best to adapt but there’s no hope I would be able to keep up with all the rules there no matter how hard I tried (which would probably end up being more comical than just winging it and trying to be polite). I can’t imagine the relief to be able to violate that sort of unspoken but constantly present decorum, since I love rebels here that do the same thing (with class and intelligence mind you!). Naturally of course different culture = different ways of showing that and not nearly americanized, but just in concept.

It’s fascinating to hear these things–as I told Chushin I’ve pretty much always been completely interested in the history, philosophy, martial arts, and other things in East Asia and specifically Japan.

I hear what you’re saying about the culture, I’m on the same page wrt: men treating women differently. But I like the idea that my treatment of women would go over better too, since my gifts and natural proclivities along the lines you mentioned go completely unrequited, but I think that is probably just because I’m a cynical bastard and my previous sig. other did no work at all in the balance of a year so I got pissed :P. Bitter? Maaaaybe… more just angry though hah.

[/quote]

Well it’s a topic for a different thread and been done to death by me, at least, already, but honestly, most American women no longer appreciate a damn thing. And Japanese women, who are starved for a little romance, just go nuts over it. It really is the best of both worlds.

I’m also convinced this is why white women HATE the idea of a white man dating an Asian woman.

Not all, but many. Many many.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/01/20/11-asian-girls/

214

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

Getting laid is easy. In some ways, too easy. Like being a rock star. The harder thing is finding a quality Japanese woman who is open to getting attached to a non-Japanese – and whose parents will allow that. If this weren’t an open forum, I could tell you my own horror stories in that regard.

Women like Cortes and I have found are not the rule (class, traditional in many ways, but open to foreign men). This will sound arrogant, but we got them because we have some class and respect for Japan and Japanese things ourselves.

(Edited)[/quote]

Chushin and I have a bit of disagreement about a few things above (I think it’s actually pretty easy to pick up women as a foreigner), but I wholeheartedly agree with the above. Wouldn’t strike a letter of it.

My mother-in-law was actually literally screaming and crying at my wife when she first learned about me (they are real old-world country people), but that did not last long at all after we met, and now we have one of the best parent-in-law/son-in-law relationships of anyone I know. [/quote]

Ditto.

My in-laws pre-marriage: "We don’t care how great of a guy you are; you’re NOT Japanese!

3 months post-marriage: “More Japanese girls should marry foreigners; they make great husbands!”

And Cortes, I don’t disagree with it being easy to pick up women. I just think it is hard if you’re not in the right environment. Hmmmm. I’m actually wondering if some of the difference in our views is rural vs. “urban.”[/quote]

I think you may have nailed it there, Chushin. Rural Japanese tend to get a lot more “excited” about Westerners than urban ones. I always get a small dose of humility when I visit a large city because suddenly I’m not the center of the universe, where ever I go.

I do still get attention, though, naturally. b(^_~)d

218

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]farmerson12 wrote:
Like everyone has said, great thread guys. Truly.

A question I have is what are the feelings towards China(or the Chinese) and vice versa? [/quote]

Not nice. Both ways.

Koreans, too. [/quote]

Ha ha ha.

I could learn a thing or 2 about being succint from you. [/quote]

Haha! Me, succinct?

220

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]farmerson12 wrote:
Like everyone has said, great thread guys. Truly.

A question I have is what are the feelings towards China(or the Chinese) and vice versa? [/quote]

Ok, I’m going to take a stab (cause I like you :-), but I actually think this is more up Varq’s alley. Hopefully, he’ll weigh in later. Please remember that I am only reluctantly trying to sum up the attitudes of a huge number of people with a variety of views.

My experience has been that beneath the official “we like and respect our neighbors,” is a pretty condescending and untrusting view of the Chinese. They are seen as somewhat uncivilized & rude. The attempts of the Chinese to seemingly bully Japan into giving up some of it’s smaller islands has not helped this situation much. Same with their increasing militarization.

I only have contact with a limited number of (young) Chinese in my life here, so my view of Chinese attitudes is more from the news and whatnot.

In a word, it seems that many Chinese are still furious about WWII, Japanese agression, etc, and they see now see it as being THEIR time to be the “big man on campus.” So, I guess I’d say “angry” and “nationalistic.”

Ok, I’ve got to get to other stuff, too. Out for now (hopefully!).[/quote]

Thanks for the response. That makes sense. With the history between the two, I would assume there isnt much love.