Japanese Men Refusing to Leave their Rooms

Off Topic
181

You guys have me tempted.

I’ve had an interest in Japan off and on for years, probably since the time I tutored a Japanese kid in elementary school. I taught him basic math, he taught me hiragana. Worked out for both of us.

My recent focus has been learning Mandarin, both spoken and written. But the more I learn, the more uncertain I am about ever moving to China. At least that should give me a good basis in kanji though.

I’m just at a point where I’m looking for a change. Not sure if Japan is the right move; not sure if it isn’t.

Technically, the only things holding me back are:

  • what to do with my stuff
  • the cost of relocation
  • not knowing the language/culture
  • my job, maybe… it looks like we have an office in Shinjuku, although I think it’s just a sales office

Really, that’s about it. Which means I’m pretty open to moving anywhere.

182

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]Brett620 wrote:
Have any of you guys talked to a Japanese person who let’s say… a business-man who grew-up in Tokyo all of his life and then as an adult has to leave an live in the U.S. for a few years for employment??

We always hear about the concept of “space” when people move from the States to let’s say Tokyo, I would wonder about the thoughts of a Japanese when experiencing the opposite. Would be interesting.

[/quote]

I once drove a colleage around parts of Michigan – he was astounded that he could see the horizon so often.

Their reactions to the portions in restaurants are what’s really fun to watch.

My wife (then girlfriend) once ordered “half chicken” assuming it was a half of an order of the normal chicken dish.

When they literally brought her half of a chicken, she was at a total loss for words. [/quote]
LOLOL

183

[quote]therajraj wrote:
Oh an Quasi-Tech:

I youtubed suicide forest - Creepy[/quote]
Surprised more people don’t know about this. I wonder how many groups of kids try to stay the night there for the lolz.

184

Do you think Japanese culture will rebound again to its old roots?

From a warrior culture to an industrial/techno economy hooked on weird and strange things must of had a great impact on a nation. Could Japan become a nation it once was if China flexes its military might?

185

960×907 137 KB

I feel that the dragon is an accurate portrayal of Chushin

186

For those in Japan what does it take to live comfortably (financially) in Japan? From what the media reports i.e the stress on students/youth it seems that education is very much needed. Is this true?

To Cortes, I hope you do not mind me asking and if you have answered it before I am happy to look for it. What made you first want to go to Japan? From your past posts I gather you had problems with addiction in your youth. So, I guess I am asking if you were still a good student with goals or if Japan was a way to start anew.

187

[quote]xXSeraphimXx wrote:
For those in Japan what does it take to live comfortably (financially) in Japan? From what the media reports i.e the stress on students/youth it seems that education is very much needed. Is this true?

To Cortes, I hope you do not mind me asking and if you have answered it before I am happy to look for it. What made you first want to go to Japan? From your past posts I gather you had problems with addiction in your youth. So, I guess I am asking if you were still a good student with goals or if Japan was a way to start anew.
[/quote]

x2. Good questions.

That’s one of my concerns, since I don’t have a degree. I got a good education, but never felt like finishing with the degree. I’ve got the work history, the job titles, the salary, references, etc… but no degree. When I relocated to Indianapolis, I literally didn’t apply to a single job, but my phone was ringing off the hook. I pretty much just picked which company I wanted to work for. (That experience was a bit surreal, considering how hard it was to find my previous jobs.)

But with a country like Japan, which as far as I know, is obsessive about its education, do I even stand a chance at getting any job?

188

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:

[quote]therajraj wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:
Did I mention there are almost no fat girls and most of the girls are beautiful? I did mention that, right? [/quote]

Then why are the men spending all this time in their rooms?

See what I did there?
[/quote]

I’ve been discussing this with some of my high level students and they have suggested a few possible things;

  1. Some of the guys were born during the bubble economy. Growing up in such affluent times has left them unprepared to deal with the harsh reality of recession riddled Japan. They end up withdrawing into themselves.

  2. Pressure. From after third grade of JHS, everything is centred around getting into the right school, uni, company. It cracks some people.

  3. Hammer down the nail that sticks out. Some people who don’t fit the mainstream mould feel more and more isolated as they get older and progress through society. Eventually they just drop out.

  4. Shame. Rather than face the possible shame of asking for help dealing with depression, bullying, feelings of isolation/loneliness, it is easier to just hide away.

Just some ideas that my students (middle aged Japanese ladies) have come up with.[/quote]

I don’t find much to disagree with here. A lot of it is what Chushin and I said earlier.

The only point I’d nitpick you on is that life becomes very serious starting in the FIRST grade of jr. high, and more and more often now, even earlier than that. It’s another HUGE can of worms and one of the things I hate more than anything else about this country. [/quote]

Regarding JHS, saying 3rd grade instead of 1st is just from personal observation and what some of my younger students have said. I have no trouble believing that the pressure kicks in around 1st grade.

Like you said though, big can of worms. My oldest kid will be 9 this year so she is still in Elementary school. Don’t envy her once she starts JHS.

I think you and I have discussed this on another thread somewhere actually.

Anyway, getting back to life in Japan.

This will be my 14th year here come November, and if I had to summarise my time here I would say that the longer you are here, the less you understand.

After your first few years you think you have a decent handle on things. Being here a few years, when you consider the high turnover rate for English teachers, you start to feel like an old timer. Once you decide to settle down you very quickly realise how little you know.
[/quote]

We did indeed talk about this previously, spiderman. I remember it now.

I did not realize you’d been here so long, however. Where are you at? Just the general area is fine, if you don’t feel like divulging your kojin jouhou, haha.

You should post more often. (^_~)
[/quote]

Mie ken mate, a small city called Yokkaichi.

How about you?

189

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]Brett620 wrote:
So what is the allure of Japan? What keeps guys there wanting to stay after 5 years (besides the women)? [/quote]

[/quote]
hot waifu[/quote]

Thanks, spar4tee, I think so too. (^_^)

192

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]xXSeraphimXx wrote:
For those in Japan what does it take to live comfortably (financially) in Japan? From what the media reports i.e the stress on students/youth it seems that education is very much needed. Is this true?

To Cortes, I hope you do not mind me asking and if you have answered it before I am happy to look for it. What made you first want to go to Japan? From your past posts I gather you had problems with addiction in your youth. So, I guess I am asking if you were still a good student with goals or if Japan was a way to start anew.
[/quote]

x2. Good questions.

That’s one of my concerns, since I don’t have a degree. I got a good education, but never felt like finishing with the degree. I’ve got the work history, the job titles, the salary, references, etc… but no degree. When I relocated to Indianapolis, I literally didn’t apply to a single job, but my phone was ringing off the hook. I pretty much just picked which company I wanted to work for. (That experience was a bit surreal, considering how hard it was to find my previous jobs.)

But with a country like Japan, which as far as I know, is obsessive about its education, do I even stand a chance at getting any job?[/quote]

Could be a problem; what do you do?[/quote]

Software. Programming. Official title is “Senior Software Engineer”.

195

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:
As for the 5 year mark, I think that’s probably because it’s so damned easy for a Western guy, no matter how hideous, to score a beautiful Japanese woman, and most guys tend to end up married if they are here that long (that’s what happened to me, anyway).
[/quote]
Hear that, Ron?[/quote]

Lol!

It really is true, though. I’ve seen male 3s with 10s here more often than I can count. [/quote]

So, I’m curious guys. Although struggling to say this in a non-homogenous way…how do most people react when a western guy approaches a japanese woman? I mean, the whole thing. Do guys get jealous/violent/whatever over there if you accidentally talked to one who was ‘taken’, as many places in the states or UK might in some blue collar areas or regions? (Londonboxer’s mentioned ‘you keep your eyes to yourself at all times’ more than a couple times during references in the combat forum)

Or is it even easy to approach a woman there in a bar, or is there another sort of expectation for decorum? I remember you said women wait for a man to approach them, that’s why there are many in their 30s unwed and alone, etc. etc. How does the game change?

I’ve only gotten to this point in the thread (don’t worry I’ll catch up quick) but I’ve always wondered how the dating scene goes as a foreigner. An intelligent, civilized, if culturally unaware foreigner, say as you said you were coming over Cortes.

196

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:

[quote]spiderman739 wrote:

[quote]therajraj wrote:

[quote]Cortes wrote:
Did I mention there are almost no fat girls and most of the girls are beautiful? I did mention that, right? [/quote]

Then why are the men spending all this time in their rooms?

See what I did there?
[/quote]

I’ve been discussing this with some of my high level students and they have suggested a few possible things;

  1. Some of the guys were born during the bubble economy. Growing up in such affluent times has left them unprepared to deal with the harsh reality of recession riddled Japan. They end up withdrawing into themselves.

  2. Pressure. From after third grade of JHS, everything is centred around getting into the right school, uni, company. It cracks some people.

  3. Hammer down the nail that sticks out. Some people who don’t fit the mainstream mould feel more and more isolated as they get older and progress through society. Eventually they just drop out.

  4. Shame. Rather than face the possible shame of asking for help dealing with depression, bullying, feelings of isolation/loneliness, it is easier to just hide away.

Just some ideas that my students (middle aged Japanese ladies) have come up with.[/quote]

I don’t find much to disagree with here. A lot of it is what Chushin and I said earlier.

The only point I’d nitpick you on is that life becomes very serious starting in the FIRST grade of jr. high, and more and more often now, even earlier than that. It’s another HUGE can of worms and one of the things I hate more than anything else about this country. [/quote]

Regarding JHS, saying 3rd grade instead of 1st is just from personal observation and what some of my younger students have said. I have no trouble believing that the pressure kicks in around 1st grade.

Like you said though, big can of worms. My oldest kid will be 9 this year so she is still in Elementary school. Don’t envy her once she starts JHS.

I think you and I have discussed this on another thread somewhere actually.

Anyway, getting back to life in Japan.

This will be my 14th year here come November, and if I had to summarise my time here I would say that the longer you are here, the less you understand.

After your first few years you think you have a decent handle on things. Being here a few years, when you consider the high turnover rate for English teachers, you start to feel like an old timer. Once you decide to settle down you very quickly realise how little you know.
[/quote]

We did indeed talk about this previously, spiderman. I remember it now.

I did not realize you’d been here so long, however. Where are you at? Just the general area is fine, if you don’t feel like divulging your kojin jouhou, haha.

You should post more often. (^_~)
[/quote]

Mie ken mate, a small city called Yokkaichi.

How about you?[/quote]

I’m in Yamaguchi Ken. Not too terribly far from you but not exactly a short hop on a train away, either.

197

[quote]Chushin wrote:

he quipped something like, “If something jumps off tonight, you got my back, right?” I still have his business card in my files. [/quote]

Maybe one of the best stories ever. Meeting the Emperor and getting “asked” to help tack shit down if it kicks off by one of his bodyguards? Yes, I think that might be the coolest thing ever.

199

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]Brett620 wrote:
Have any of you guys talked to a Japanese person who let’s say… a business-man who grew-up in Tokyo all of his life and then as an adult has to leave an live in the U.S. for a few years for employment??

We always hear about the concept of “space” when people move from the States to let’s say Tokyo, I would wonder about the thoughts of a Japanese when experiencing the opposite. Would be interesting.

[/quote]

I once drove a colleage around parts of Michigan – he was astounded that he could see the horizon so often.

Their reactions to the portions in restaurants are what’s really fun to watch.

My wife (then girlfriend) once ordered “half chicken” assuming it was a half of an order of the normal chicken dish.

When they literally brought her half of a chicken, she was at a total loss for words. [/quote]

Hahaha! That would be priceless to watch.

Brett, I can’t speak to Japan, but one of my very best friends in the world is from Bombay, and although he has lived many places and traveled extensively we’ve had numerous conversations about the Horizon of the U.S. Midwest. It was his very favorite thing when he first came to the middle part of the country in the plains. Mindblown when you are used to 20 million people and no space anywhere and then you get here and you can literally see 180 degree sky and be the only one on a road for an entire day of travel.

I can’t articulate his response, but lets just say I’ll remember it to the day I die.