Jack and Jill went up the hill
each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with $2.50
Little boy blew.
He needed the money~
How did her breath smell?
Hey diddle diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
That’s more than my lazy wife does,
The fat, fuckin’ smelly baboon
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
A lightbulb was stuck up her ass.
It woke up the spider
Who lived deep inside her.
He said "Hey, free electric and gas.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
And Jack would try to hump her.
Jill said No / and Jack said So
I’ll ram it in your dumper.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her old dog a snack.
The cupboard was bare,
She didn’t despair.
She let Rover munch on her crack
Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
Jerked off in his girlfriend’s eye
When her eye was dry and shut
Georgie fucked that one-eyed slut
Hickory Dickory Dock
Some chick was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I dropped my goo
I dumped the bitch on the next block.
Three blind mice, see how they run
Where the fuck are they going?
Hey diddle diddle
I fucked her down the middle
and cleaned her out with a spoon,
why use a spoon
she was good to the last drop
courtesy: killerDIRK with apologies to Dice !
Peter Peter pumkin eater
Whacked off in the movie theater
Sprayed his load across the screen
And ruined Titanic’s final scene
First comes love
then comes marriage
then comes the divorce that leaves you with your house’s mortgage
One of my favorites:
Littly Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider,
Sat down beside her, And said, “Hey, what’s in the bowl, bitch?”
I got passion in my pants and i aint afraid to show it…
An old army drinking song:
She’s a big fat slut, twice the size of me,
Hair on her chest like branches on a tree,
She can fight, fuck, drive a truck, drink a case of rye,
Nelly put yer belly next to mine…and wiggle yer bum!