Intimacy in Relationships

Off Topic
161

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, question: does it count as a blow job if it’s part of foreplay and not to completion (switch to intercourse to finish)? When you guys say you don’t get them, do you mean at all, or not as a complete event?[/quote]

Absolutely it counts.

I’ll throw Dan Savage’s opinion in here, just cause I love the guy (no homo!)

My name is Brock. I live with my girlfriend and her best friend. It�??�?�¢??s like a less funny Threes Company. We were having a debate the other day that I decided could be resolved by you, given that your opinion is more legit than any of ours. Is it considered �??�?�¢??going down�??�?�¢?? on someone if they don�??�?�¢??t have an orgasm? For instance, one night, right before my girlfriend and I have sex, she sucks my penis for five minutes, then we switch to traditional penis-in-vagina sex.

Would she be able to tell her friends the next day (hypothetically) that last night, she went down on her boyfriend and then we had sex? Or do I have to have cum while she was sucking my penis for her to have �??�?�¢??gone down�??�?�¢?? on me? Personally I think that If I don�??�?�¢??t have an orgasm from her sucking my penis, she didn�??�?�¢??t necessarily �??�?�¢??go down�??�?�¢?? on me, but both the girls I live with have decided to join forces against me and say that I am wrong. Help me Dan Savage, you�??�?�¢??re my only hope! Please, if your eyes ever grace this message, please give me an answer to rub in their faces, or even if I am wrong, I am man enough to admit it, and if you want me to, if I am wrong, I will prove it to you that I admitted it. Thanks Dan, I always read your section in our �??�?�¢??Eugene Weekly�??�?�¢?? every week, and always enjoy it.

Brock

A thought experiment, Brock: let’s say I come over to your place, bend you over the sofa, and fuck your ass for, let’s say, an entire episode Judge Judy. But after 30 minutes in Judith Sheindlin’s courtroomÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??and your assÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??I pull my dick out of your ass and get myself off with my hand.

Did I masturbate? Or did I fuck your ass?

I would say I pretty much fucked your ass, Brock, and I suspect you would say the same. In fact, I’m positive you would say the same.

Similarly, if your girlfriend sucks your dick, Brock, then you have to concede that she went down on you even if you didn’t orgasm in her mouth, same as I fucked your ass during a whole episode of Judge Judy even if I didn’t orgasm in your butt. So when she sucks you and then you fuck her, Brock, you and the girlfriend are having oral sex first as foreplay, then vaginal intercourse for the main event.

In conclusion, Brock, you are wrongÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??and I’m curious how you intend to prove to me that you admitted it to Chrissy and Janet.
[/quote]

Okay, that’s how I’ve viewed it, too, but then I thought maybe guys who aren’t getting them don’t count the foreplay ones.[/quote]

On the other hand, do you know how many women I have stopped and asked thme what they were doing?

Dont be too proud when it comes to your oral skills, most likely, they are lacking.

[/quote]

Who is talking about my oral skills? I’m speaking in the general here, not the specific. Except in the post above, where I make a quick switch to the specific. But that’s it.[/quote]

Most women suck at giving head.

Make of that what you will.l…

162

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, question: does it count as a blow job if it’s part of foreplay and not to completion (switch to intercourse to finish)? When you guys say you don’t get them, do you mean at all, or not as a complete event?[/quote]

Absolutely it counts.

I’ll throw Dan Savage’s opinion in here, just cause I love the guy (no homo!)

My name is Brock. I live with my girlfriend and her best friend. It�??�??�?�¢??s like a less funny Threes Company. We were having a debate the other day that I decided could be resolved by you, given that your opinion is more legit than any of ours. Is it considered �??�??�?�¢??going down�??�??�?�¢?? on someone if they don�??�??�?�¢??t have an orgasm? For instance, one night, right before my girlfriend and I have sex, she sucks my penis for five minutes, then we switch to traditional penis-in-vagina sex.

Would she be able to tell her friends the next day (hypothetically) that last night, she went down on her boyfriend and then we had sex? Or do I have to have cum while she was sucking my penis for her to have �??�??�?�¢??gone down�??�??�?�¢?? on me? Personally I think that If I don�??�??�?�¢??t have an orgasm from her sucking my penis, she didn�??�??�?�¢??t necessarily �??�??�?�¢??go down�??�??�?�¢?? on me, but both the girls I live with have decided to join forces against me and say that I am wrong. Help me Dan Savage, you�??�??�?�¢??re my only hope! Please, if your eyes ever grace this message, please give me an answer to rub in their faces, or even if I am wrong, I am man enough to admit it, and if you want me to, if I am wrong, I will prove it to you that I admitted it. Thanks Dan, I always read your section in our �??�??�?�¢??Eugene Weekly�??�??�?�¢?? every week, and always enjoy it.

Brock

A thought experiment, Brock: let’s say I come over to your place, bend you over the sofa, and fuck your ass for, let’s say, an entire episode Judge Judy. But after 30 minutes in Judith Sheindlin’s courtroomÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??and your assÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??I pull my dick out of your ass and get myself off with my hand.

Did I masturbate? Or did I fuck your ass?

I would say I pretty much fucked your ass, Brock, and I suspect you would say the same. In fact, I’m positive you would say the same.

Similarly, if your girlfriend sucks your dick, Brock, then you have to concede that she went down on you even if you didn’t orgasm in her mouth, same as I fucked your ass during a whole episode of Judge Judy even if I didn’t orgasm in your butt. So when she sucks you and then you fuck her, Brock, you and the girlfriend are having oral sex first as foreplay, then vaginal intercourse for the main event.

In conclusion, Brock, you are wrongÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??and I’m curious how you intend to prove to me that you admitted it to Chrissy and Janet.
[/quote]

Okay, that’s how I’ve viewed it, too, but then I thought maybe guys who aren’t getting them don’t count the foreplay ones.[/quote]

On the other hand, do you know how many women I have stopped and asked thme what they were doing?

Dont be too proud when it comes to your oral skills, most likely, they are lacking.

[/quote]

Who is talking about my oral skills? I’m speaking in the general here, not the specific. Except in the post above, where I make a quick switch to the specific. But that’s it.[/quote]

Most women suck at giving head.

Make of that what you will.l…[/quote]

I speculate - I have no way of knowing of course - that women in love might be better at this, since pleasing a partner you adore has intrinsic reward. Like cooking. And looking pretty. And - I don’t know, all of it!

163

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, question: does it count as a blow job if it’s part of foreplay and not to completion (switch to intercourse to finish)? When you guys say you don’t get them, do you mean at all, or not as a complete event?[/quote]

Absolutely it counts.

I’ll throw Dan Savage’s opinion in here, just cause I love the guy (no homo!)

My name is Brock. I live with my girlfriend and her best friend. It�??�??�??�?�¢??s like a less funny Threes Company. We were having a debate the other day that I decided could be resolved by you, given that your opinion is more legit than any of ours. Is it considered �??�??�??�?�¢??going down�??�??�??�?�¢?? on someone if they don�??�??�??�?�¢??t have an orgasm? For instance, one night, right before my girlfriend and I have sex, she sucks my penis for five minutes, then we switch to traditional penis-in-vagina sex.

Would she be able to tell her friends the next day (hypothetically) that last night, she went down on her boyfriend and then we had sex? Or do I have to have cum while she was sucking my penis for her to have �??�??�??�?�¢??gone down�??�??�??�?�¢?? on me? Personally I think that If I don�??�??�??�?�¢??t have an orgasm from her sucking my penis, she didn�??�??�??�?�¢??t necessarily �??�??�??�?�¢??go down�??�??�??�?�¢?? on me, but both the girls I live with have decided to join forces against me and say that I am wrong. Help me Dan Savage, you�??�??�??�?�¢??re my only hope! Please, if your eyes ever grace this message, please give me an answer to rub in their faces, or even if I am wrong, I am man enough to admit it, and if you want me to, if I am wrong, I will prove it to you that I admitted it. Thanks Dan, I always read your section in our �??�??�??�?�¢??Eugene Weekly�??�??�??�?�¢?? every week, and always enjoy it.

Brock

A thought experiment, Brock: let’s say I come over to your place, bend you over the sofa, and fuck your ass for, let’s say, an entire episode Judge Judy. But after 30 minutes in Judith Sheindlin’s courtroomÃ???Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??and your assÃ???Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??I pull my dick out of your ass and get myself off with my hand.

Did I masturbate? Or did I fuck your ass?

I would say I pretty much fucked your ass, Brock, and I suspect you would say the same. In fact, I’m positive you would say the same.

Similarly, if your girlfriend sucks your dick, Brock, then you have to concede that she went down on you even if you didn’t orgasm in her mouth, same as I fucked your ass during a whole episode of Judge Judy even if I didn’t orgasm in your butt. So when she sucks you and then you fuck her, Brock, you and the girlfriend are having oral sex first as foreplay, then vaginal intercourse for the main event.

In conclusion, Brock, you are wrongÃ???Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??and I’m curious how you intend to prove to me that you admitted it to Chrissy and Janet.
[/quote]

Okay, that’s how I’ve viewed it, too, but then I thought maybe guys who aren’t getting them don’t count the foreplay ones.[/quote]

On the other hand, do you know how many women I have stopped and asked thme what they were doing?

Dont be too proud when it comes to your oral skills, most likely, they are lacking.

[/quote]

Who is talking about my oral skills? I’m speaking in the general here, not the specific. Except in the post above, where I make a quick switch to the specific. But that’s it.[/quote]

Most women suck at giving head.

Make of that what you will.l…[/quote]

I speculate - I have no way of knowing of course - that women in love might be better at this, since pleasing a partner you adore has intrinsic reward. Like cooking. And looking pretty. And - I don’t know, all of it!

[/quote]

No, you want a cocksucker who just happens to suck your cock.

Women that kind of think they do you a favor, however well disguided…

Non!

Absolutement, non!!!

165

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, question: does it count as a blow job if it’s part of foreplay and not to completion (switch to intercourse to finish)? When you guys say you don’t get them, do you mean at all, or not as a complete event?[/quote]
I have no idea what the consensus will be on this from my fellow men, but I will say this. I gave and received oral virtually 100% of the time during foreplay, but I almost never received it as a stand alone act to completion.

166

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, question: does it count as a blow job if it’s part of foreplay and not to completion (switch to intercourse to finish)? When you guys say you don’t get them, do you mean at all, or not as a complete event?[/quote]
I have no idea what the consensus will be on this from my fellow men, but I will say this. I gave and received oral virtually 100% of the time during foreplay, but I almost never received it as a stand alone act to completion.[/quote]

Why not?

Its awesome.

167

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, question: does it count as a blow job if it’s part of foreplay and not to completion (switch to intercourse to finish)? When you guys say you don’t get them, do you mean at all, or not as a complete event?[/quote]

Absolutely it counts.

I’ll throw Dan Savage’s opinion in here, just cause I love the guy (no homo!)

My name is Brock. I live with my girlfriend and her best friend. It�??�??�??�??�?�¢??s like a less funny Threes Company. We were having a debate the other day that I decided could be resolved by you, given that your opinion is more legit than any of ours. Is it considered �??�??�??�??�?�¢??going down�??�??�??�??�?�¢?? on someone if they don�??�??�??�??�?�¢??t have an orgasm? For instance, one night, right before my girlfriend and I have sex, she sucks my penis for five minutes, then we switch to traditional penis-in-vagina sex.

Would she be able to tell her friends the next day (hypothetically) that last night, she went down on her boyfriend and then we had sex? Or do I have to have cum while she was sucking my penis for her to have �??�??�??�??�?�¢??gone down�??�??�??�??�?�¢?? on me? Personally I think that If I don�??�??�??�??�?�¢??t have an orgasm from her sucking my penis, she didn�??�??�??�??�?�¢??t necessarily �??�??�??�??�?�¢??go down�??�??�??�??�?�¢?? on me, but both the girls I live with have decided to join forces against me and say that I am wrong. Help me Dan Savage, you�??�??�??�??�?�¢??re my only hope! Please, if your eyes ever grace this message, please give me an answer to rub in their faces, or even if I am wrong, I am man enough to admit it, and if you want me to, if I am wrong, I will prove it to you that I admitted it. Thanks Dan, I always read your section in our �??�??�??�??�?�¢??Eugene Weekly�??�??�??�??�?�¢?? every week, and always enjoy it.

Brock

A thought experiment, Brock: let’s say I come over to your place, bend you over the sofa, and fuck your ass for, let’s say, an entire episode Judge Judy. But after 30 minutes in Judith Sheindlin’s courtroomÃ???Ã???Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??and your assÃ???Ã???Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??I pull my dick out of your ass and get myself off with my hand.

Did I masturbate? Or did I fuck your ass?

I would say I pretty much fucked your ass, Brock, and I suspect you would say the same. In fact, I’m positive you would say the same.

Similarly, if your girlfriend sucks your dick, Brock, then you have to concede that she went down on you even if you didn’t orgasm in her mouth, same as I fucked your ass during a whole episode of Judge Judy even if I didn’t orgasm in your butt. So when she sucks you and then you fuck her, Brock, you and the girlfriend are having oral sex first as foreplay, then vaginal intercourse for the main event.

In conclusion, Brock, you are wrongÃ???Ã???Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??and I’m curious how you intend to prove to me that you admitted it to Chrissy and Janet.
[/quote]

Okay, that’s how I’ve viewed it, too, but then I thought maybe guys who aren’t getting them don’t count the foreplay ones.[/quote]

On the other hand, do you know how many women I have stopped and asked thme what they were doing?

Dont be too proud when it comes to your oral skills, most likely, they are lacking.

[/quote]

Who is talking about my oral skills? I’m speaking in the general here, not the specific. Except in the post above, where I make a quick switch to the specific. But that’s it.[/quote]

Most women suck at giving head.

Make of that what you will.l…[/quote]

I speculate - I have no way of knowing of course - that women in love might be better at this, since pleasing a partner you adore has intrinsic reward. Like cooking. And looking pretty. And - I don’t know, all of it!

[/quote]

No, you want a cocksucker who just happens to suck your cock.

Women that kind of think they do you a favor, however well disguided…

Non!

Absolutement, non!!![/quote]

So you’re saying you DON’T want a woman who likes doing it because it feels good (is fun) to make you feel good?

168

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

I think intercourse is much more intimate emotionally than oral anything.

[/quote]

Agreed. It just has to be. If for no other reason than it is the only sex act capable of reproduction. But it does not have to be just for that reason.

Some would argue anal intercourse is more intimate and there are good reasons for saying so but even then I’m not fully convinced it trumps good ol’ fashioned vaginal intercourse for intimacy.
[/quote]

Vaginal intercourse allows for eye contact and neck nuzzling and whispers in ears. I can wrap myself completely around him, in a full-body hug. I can’t think of anything more intimate.

169

[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:

[quote]conservativedog wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

Would you please draw a picture of it for me to assess?[/quote]

…let’s just say if i laid my you know what out on your keyboard it would go from a to z.
[/quote]

A and Z are less than an inch apart…just saying
[/quote]

… you turned the tables on me Captain.

…when the current generation doesn’t even get your dick jokes, it’s time to stay in the squat rack. i feel bad for you. just sayin.

170

I have three things to contribute to this discussion:

  1. I think sex while the girl is on her period is the most intimate I’ve had.

  2. A girl tossed my salad once after a long night at work. I giggled like a schoolgirl, and I could smell my ass on her face when we kissed afterwards. That should be disgusting but it was my ass so I didn’t care.

  3. Girls of the North American continent make BJs out to be a massive deal. One actually said to me, “You are so lucky I’m doing this right now”.

171

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, question: does it count as a blow job if it’s part of foreplay and not to completion (switch to intercourse to finish)? When you guys say you don’t get them, do you mean at all, or not as a complete event?[/quote]
I have no idea what the consensus will be on this from my fellow men, but I will say this. I gave and received oral virtually 100% of the time during foreplay, but I almost never received it as a stand alone act to completion.[/quote]

All right, then, so would you say you’ve had plenty of blow jobs (the 100%) or do you sort of feel you’ve almost never had one?

172

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, question: does it count as a blow job if it’s part of foreplay and not to completion (switch to intercourse to finish)? When you guys say you don’t get them, do you mean at all, or not as a complete event?[/quote]
I have no idea what the consensus will be on this from my fellow men, but I will say this. I gave and received oral virtually 100% of the time during foreplay, but I almost never received it as a stand alone act to completion.[/quote]

All right, then, so would you say you’ve had plenty of blow jobs (the 100%) or do you sort of feel you’ve almost never had one?
[/quote]

In my mind there are two types of BJs:
1.) Foreplay BJ: A minute or two at most. Never even close to completion.
2.) Completion BJ: self explanatory.

I only consider type 2 an actual BJ.

Like csulli, going down on the wife is almost 100% part of foreplay, but it’s too completion 99.99% of the time for her. The opposite is not true, which is just fine in my book.

I think of it this way. Completion for a girl is like the end of an inning, there are 8 more to play. Completion for a guy is like the end of a football game, it takes 6 days to recover for the next game…

(Note: It obviously doesn’t take 6 days, it’s just an analogy.)

173

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, question: does it count as a blow job if it’s part of foreplay and not to completion (switch to intercourse to finish)? When you guys say you don’t get them, do you mean at all, or not as a complete event?[/quote]
I have no idea what the consensus will be on this from my fellow men, but I will say this. I gave and received oral virtually 100% of the time during foreplay, but I almost never received it as a stand alone act to completion.[/quote]

All right, then, so would you say you’ve had plenty of blow jobs (the 100%) or do you sort of feel you’ve almost never had one?
[/quote]

In my mind there are two types of BJs:
1.) Foreplay BJ: A minute or two at most. Never even close to completion.
2.) Completion BJ: self explanatory.

I only consider type 2 an actual BJ.

Like csulli, going down on the wife is almost 100% part of foreplay, but it’s too completion 99.99% of the time for her. The opposite is not true, which is just fine in my book.

I think of it this way. Completion for a girl is like the end of an inning, there are 8 more to play. Completion for a guy is like the end of a football game, it takes 6 days to recover for the next game…

(Note: It obviously doesn’t take 6 days, it’s just an analogy.)[/quote]

Duly noted. lol

174

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So, question: does it count as a blow job if it’s part of foreplay and not to completion (switch to intercourse to finish)? When you guys say you don’t get them, do you mean at all, or not as a complete event?[/quote]
I have no idea what the consensus will be on this from my fellow men, but I will say this. I gave and received oral virtually 100% of the time during foreplay, but I almost never received it as a stand alone act to completion.[/quote]

All right, then, so would you say you’ve had plenty of blow jobs (the 100%) or do you sort of feel you’ve almost never had one?
[/quote]
I guess maybe the second one. I’ve gotten plenty of “oral” but only a very few “blowjobs”.

Now I’m angry >:(

175

most girls don’t like cocks in their mouths. I think they feel that its demeaning or something.

176

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:

[quote]chobbs wrote:
For everyone that likes to toss salad, how many times have you went in and found the hygiene not up to par? [/quote]

Situational awareness.

If you bring a girl home after a night of tacos and pitchers of Bud Light, you may not want to throw anal tongue darts at her chocolate starfish the next AM.
[/quote]

there is wisdom in what the good Doctor is telling us all~

please Doctor, go on~

177

[quote]StevenF wrote:
most girls don’t like cocks in their mouths. I think they feel that its demeaning or something.[/quote]

Maybe 30 years ago.

178

i would like to add a few items if i may.

  1. a BJ should be to completion, with swallowing, and telling the man that it tastes just like tapioca like grandma used to make

  2. O is correct, many wimmenz lack oral skilz

  3. this is also tru as stated before, many wimmenz think that they are doing you a favor by sucking it

  4. EmmieDear, you are incorrect in believing that if a wimmenz loves you, then they are better at giving oral. the opposite is tru, oral is given in order to trap the future hubby into believing that this will be the normal sex life upon marriage.

179

Good list.