HAHAHAHAHA that one of bigmartin sent me over the edge! what you needed was the … (sentence) … (sentence)…
nothing but love bigmart
Please critique my program:
Mon AM:
Bench Press 8 sets
Bent rows 8 sets (supersetted with no rest)
Dips 25 sets
Military Press 15 sets
Chins 25 sets
All done to failure with negatives.
PM:
Skipping 2 hours
Run: 10 400m sprints
Tues:
Squats 10x10
Deadlifts 10x3
Leg Curls 5 sets
Calf raises 12 sets
Lunges: 20 sets
Farmers walks: 45 minutes
Abs: 10 000 reps
PM: Stadium running
Swim: 2 hours
Wed: GPP- sled dragging, tire flipping, skipping,
Thurs: Repeat Monday
Fri: Repeat Tues
Sat: Repeat Wed.
Sun: Off
So what do you think? I am having trouble gaining any weight! I think I may be undertraining. What sort of supplementary work could I add in on Sunday to help my growth process?
Yours sincerely,
Xen Nova
[quote]deanosumo wrote:
Please critique my program:
PM:
Skipping 2 hours
Run: 10 400m sprints
[/quote]
Skipping!? LOL, That’s funny.
Proteinpowda: Hey check out these hard-ass pictures of my dog!
Prof X: Your dog needs to build quality SIZE. It may have a well balanced physique and low bodyfat, but that IMO is worthless unless your dog is 250+lbs and can Hammer Strength Incline Press 895 lbs. I look like a linebacker and I have had no problems with the ladies. My gut doesn’t hang over my pants and I look like a linebacker. I have had no problems with females, and honesty the linebacker look (which I have) works well for me. If you right click on my avatar you can see my picture, although I will warn you I look like a linebacker.
ZEB: Stick to the basics. Often times this may include bringing a roulette wheel into the gym to “spice things up”. Pavel is a homosexual and therefore knows nothing about strength training. John Kerry is a democrat and therefore is a homosexual.
Vroom: That seems pretty ridiculous, ZEB. Homosexuality has nothing to do with being a good strength coach.
ZEB: Are you saying that chins are inferior?
Vroom: No.
ZEB: I just did 5 sets of 50 dead hang chins. Are you saying that’s worthless?
Vroom: No.
ZEB: Then I don’t see how you can argue that John Kerry is gay. Maybe you should try reading the bible before you post again.
Wideguy: When you’re hittin’ it doggystyle, how many of you like to spread your stud sauce all over her back with a kitchen spatula?
DavidD clone #1: That’s a wussy move man. You’re never going to get laid if you keep that up. Go to doubleyourdating.com and sign up for the newsletter.
DavidD clone #2: Yeah man, move on to the next one and don’t be such a pussy next time. Run fast and hard.
DavidD clone #3: That never works. Ever.
Wideguy: It worked. Thanks for the confidence booster, dicksmear.
T-M@tt: If you really want your love juice to taste scrumptious, eat 5 pinapples and a bucket of honey. Fuck your diet- what really matters is the taste of your cum.
Jared,
That was too funny. Classic Wideguy. This thread is finally getting somewhere. I am starting to feel bad for ZEB, though. It seemes he’s included in every “conversation”. Oh well. I guess that’s the price you pay for fame.
I had no idea this thread was here until my good friend lothario pointed it out to me this morning. Truth is, I was to busy doing Pull-ups (up to 91 in a row), and kneeling by a statute of President Bush to notice…what? You mean you guys don’t have a statute of Bush? 
Does it count if ZEB parodies himself?
[quote]MikeTheBear wrote:
Can we do the T-Nation staff too? Here goes, and it’s all in good fun. If I didn’t respect these guys, I wouldn’t go to the effort of making fun of them:
TC: So as I was chasing this cute girl around my bedroom with my pants around my ankles and my penis flaying about like a weasel who just drank an espresso, I suddenly had a cosmic epiphany. Is Space-Time really a Continuum? Does E really equal MC-squared? What happens to all those socks you lose in the laundry leaving you with an unmatched pair? As my date realized I had stopped chasing her, she gave me a look much like another girl did when she caught me in her hamper sniffing her panties. I looked down, and noticed that my penis was still as stiff as a titanium rod at absolute zero. At that point, I came up with my own Theory of Relativity: if you’re chasing a hottie around your bedroom and your penis is erect, everything else is relative. All was right with the world.[/quote]
You know, that’s pretty damn good! I bow my head to you, sir!
http://images.t-nation.com/forum_images/./1/.1106669441810.287image001.jpg
Tim Patterson:
For the past 8 months the scientists at Biotest, headed by TCs dog have been working on something new… Something that will blow away the oposition… Our first attempts failed, but ‘quit’ is not in our vocabulary… And here it is: Grow! tablets! Each easy to swallow tablet provides 89.3 grams of quality protein from cows, milked by John Beradi himself. And that’s not all, while other companies, not to mention any names (EAS, MetRX) would give their right nut to sell this formula for $286.98 we’re going to offer it for $7.45! Why? Because I rock. Heres the easy to swallow tablet modelled by Christian Thibaudeau:
http://images.t-nation.com/forum_images/./1/.1106673338305.what-the-heck-bunny.jpg
This is definitely one of the best threads I’ve seen in quite a while. 
Bush Statues? Damn!
I’m going to get my “brother”, my “dog”, my “mother”, my “cousin” and my “grandma” to buy them all up pronto as gifts for me!!!
Then, when nobody can find them anymore I’m going to sell them on ebay so that those folks that missed out will get a chance to enjoy the product too.
Nothing wrong with making a profit, after all… suckers.
LOL vroom! I knew you were a capitalist at heart.
Fuck you guys hahahahahhahaha
this is fun 
[quote]vroom wrote:
Bush Statues? Damn!
I’m going to get my “brother”, my “dog”, my “mother”, my “cousin” and my “grandma” to buy them all up pronto as gifts for me!!!
Then, when nobody can find them anymore I’m going to sell them on ebay so that those folks that missed out will get a chance to enjoy the product too.
Nothing wrong with making a profit, after all… suckers.[/quote]
Somewhere, Atlas shrugged…
JohnGullick, I just laughed my ass all the way off. Now I can’t squat or DL anymore. And I look really weird. Thanks a lot you jerk!
P.S. Can I pre-order those tablets now? I have to grow my ass back.
Can I take those while taking HOT-ROX?
[quote]JohnGullick wrote:
Tim Patterson:
For the past 8 months the scientists at Biotest, headed by TCs dog have been working on something new… Something that will blow away the oposition… Our first attempts failed, but ‘quit’ is not in our vocabulary… And here it is: Grow! tablets! Each easy to swallow tablet provides 89.3 grams of quality protein from cows, milked by John Beradi himself. And that’s not all, while other companies, not to mention any names (EAS, MetRX) would give their right nut to sell this formula for $286.98 we’re going to offer it for $7.45! Why? Because I rock. Heres the easy to swallow tablet modelled by Christian Thibaudeau:[/quote]
Lazy Newbie: Tim, can I stack those with Alpha Male, HOT-ROX, and Flintstone vitamins? When I take it should I drink 8 oz of water or 10 oz? Can it be tap water? Can I sprinkle Grow! on my Kripy Kremes? Should I wipe my ass going forwards or backwards?
Thanks for all your help.
Oh, one more thing. Are you guys ever gonna sell Hydroxycut on your website?
After I was able to determine that this was a satire thread and not another one of protiens progress/dog threads, I laughed my ass off! This stuff is pure gold!
Lothario, I was waiting for that! It was good you bastard!!! (jk)
[quote]vroom wrote:
Bush Statues? Damn!
I’m going to get my “brother”, my “dog”, my “mother”, my “cousin” and my “grandma” to buy them all up pronto as gifts for me!!!
Then, when nobody can find them anymore I’m going to sell them on ebay so that those folks that missed out will get a chance to enjoy the product too.
Nothing wrong with making a profit, after all… suckers.[/quote]
LOL! Thats fvckin’ funny!
Look at Vroom’s first post on this thread.
FOR THE LAST TIME, we now know what he’s looking at/thinking about.