Chuck Norris is so hard he performs open heart surgery on himself. With his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris built Rome in a day.
Chuck Norris = mc?
Sticks and stones can break your bones but Chuck Norris will kill you.
Chuck Norris is the sound of one hand clapping.
What is the sound of a tree falling if no one is there to hear it? Chuck Norris’ ass kicking.
When in Rome, do as Chuck does.
Chuck Norris doesn’t need to masturbate. His penis jerks itself off.
Once, Chuck Norris filled in as a substitute teacher for a 2nd grade class. At lunch that day, a student asked Chuck to protect her from a bully. He promptly confronted the bully, and gave him a stern glare. The bully immediately died of heart failure. Chuck then turned around and kicked the little girl in the sternum for tattling.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris killed the radio star.
Unlike William Wallace, Chuck Norris can shoot fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse.
It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is so cool that the Pope has a Jesus fish on his car with the word “Norris” inside.
Chuck Norris doesn’t smash beer cans on his forehead, instead he stares them down till they shrink in fear.
Chuck Norris is slated to speak at his own eulogy.
Chuck Norris is not invincible…