Had fertility issues in my late twenties, thought it was the Mrs, my blood test showed T ~200ng/dL.
Been on TRT through my doc for 5 years, last year I’ve started working out properly. Like 4 days a week, compound lifts. I’ve put on a significant amount of muscle and look completely different. My mates understandably have noticed and have been saying comments like I must be on the roíds.
I’ve been working very hard in the gym, but I guess it’s true - I have been ‘on the roids’. My T has been ~ 900 mg/dL trough for five years, and once I’ve started giving my body a proper stimulus it has reacted in kind. Compared to my old self, I’m completely different. My body has changed, and my legs have ballooned and I just feel fucking strong. My lifts have gone through the roof and would probably be more than my gym going mates now. But I just feel like I’ve cheated.
Even my Mrs has pulled me up on it, saying I look different and is putting down to the trt. I know I’ve been working hard but if I wasn’t on trt I’d still be a noodle and I can’t quite get over the fact that im hiding it from everyone and if they knew they’d call me out for cheating. My brothers go to the gym and have always lifted heavier than me but now I’m doing bigger lifts than them. They’ve being really encouraging, but I just can’t help feel like a fraud and that I should confess.
Sorry all for the negative post - this sub has been really helpful to me, thank you. (Sorry for duplicate post)
You’ve been ill for 20 years (hypogonadism) which lead to, among other things, muscle wasting, loss of bone mass, sexual dysfunction, fatigue, depression etc.
You have found a cure and began creeping up to your physical genetic limit which includes bigger and stronger muscles.
Would you feel guilty if you had hypothyroidism and felt tired, fatigued, depressed with increased fat mass and suddenly took a drug to get your thyroid hormones in check which would lead to better overall mood and physical capabilities?
How about if you were clinically depressed and had no desire to get out of bed and years of therapy and perhaps an SSRI allowed you to get up and start taking care of yourself and working out. Would you feel the need to apologize for that?
You’ve quoted two TT numbers. What is your FT? First, if FT is equally as high, then yes you’re running more Test than you likely need. Second, Test alone doesn’t determine your level of fitness. Genetics and hard work trump your Test levels every time. I’ve seen low T guy look bigger/better than TRT guys. Having proper Test levels will help but also assist you with the energy/motivation to work out.
All that aside, I can’t empathize with your feelings. I don’t run off emotion. To me it’s medicine. Unless you’re trying to enter a true competition that prohibits TRT, whats the problem?
@rusty_hammer@blshaw exactly. It is medicine for a medical condition. That’s it.
As I’ve said over and over, TRT is the only drug that falls into some weird lifestyle/hobby category that people “get on”. No one speaks of “getting on” insulin, thyroid, metoprolol, atorvastatin, and so on, and so on, in the way they do TRT.
If you check my contest thread thread, you can see that my legs ballooned while on TRT for years, with that occurring because I trained them with normal T values, not because TRT with those values provided some advantage for abnormal muscle growth.
So? Is her false belief that TRT at actual TRT dosing (75 mg per week, which is less than the usual 100 mg) provides some muscle-building advantage affecting your relationship?
What sport are you playing in?
It’s hard to cheat if you’re not playing a sport.
Also, why do you give a shit what other people think about you doing what’s best for you in your life? I’d love to recommend a few books for you that have absolutely 0 to do with steroids or training.
Yep I should probably get over it but I just don’t want to have to explain it to everyone. I’m not taking it for gym gains but can’t ignore that it has changed my body, when added with gym. Maybe one day I’ll be like some of you lot and just own it.
Free T usually upper end of normal and sometimes 10-20% over. Has varied throughout the years.
Yea I used to gym a lot and was in good shape. But I just look different now after trt and gym. I know it’s no where near a cycle but It’s been mad how quickly I’ve put mass on after starting to gym seriously again.
Thank you man. I guess I am just projecting it on myself, as I have worked hard in the gym before for long periods, but my body has never changed like this. I am cool with it, but when people have been starting to suggest I’m ’taking Steroids’ it’s quite hard to not put it all down to the trt.
I know I just need to get over it, thanks mate for replying
In 2023 BC we had berries, leaves, animals, water, arguably alcohol, coffee, stimulants, shamanic drugs….
Today we have pharma, and an overbuilt artificial world demanding lifestyles that are a bit physiologically insane. Being a human is same same… but different… nowadays.
You suffer how you suffer, you do/use what is in your grasp to thrive, you treat people with the same grace. Be proud man, you’re taking control of your life. Envisioning your lifestyle as beholden to others is also likely a psychological route to low T
General Assertiveness (i recommend these first)
No More Mr Nice Guy
When I Say No, I Feel Guilty
Getting what you want out of life
Unchained Man
Read them or don’t, they’re just book recommendations. I will say that they’ve helped a LOT of men escape the feelings of societal pressure. They’ve helped me a lot too.
