One more thing. A relationship can be seen as being built on a series of small “risks.” The first little risk is meeting the other person. The next is some playful banter, etc. This continues to the first kiss, and beyond. When someone approaches you out of the blue, they’re taking a risk that you might be cold, might reject them immediately, or maybe not even acknowledge their presence at all. Unless they have some fetish for giving out random compliments (or you are fishing!), a compliment is an opener. “Here is the little risk I am willing to take for you. Ball’s in your court.” You then respond in a way that rewards the risk appropriately, and in turn take a little risk of your own. The more risks, the more investment in you she’ll have, and want to see you more.
A confident single man would have approached those girls. A shy single man would not. Therefore you lack confidence. That doesn’t mean you think you’re ugly or whatever. It means that you think that if you went up them and said whatever came to your mind that you would fail miserably.
When a random girl approaches you and comments on your eyes, or another feature, she is hitting on you, period. If you’re a normal functioning single man you respond. If she’s hot, pay her a compliment. Ask her name. If she’s ugly, say thank you and leave. Is that too tough for you to grasp? C’mon man, if these hot girls are interested in you, its your duty to give them what they want as a heterosexual T-man.
That last statement of yours should have a modifier…let me elaborate with my opinion…a girl probably decides if she WOULD have sex with you (big difference from want or will) within the first five minutes…but it’s also important to know that a girl could decide she would never have sex with you within the second five minutes.
I was the same way you are with the girls - until I went to college and found out what women want to hear. If only I new then what I know now. What women want is confidence. What you should have done was supprise them and got up RIGHT AWAY and cruzed on over and sayed hey - you two girls are so cute it took me forever to build up the nerve to come say hi…ha ha Then sit down and start asking them a bunch of questions - hell start a conversation about the best way to approch women on the street - if you can get them laughing right off the bat you’re in and you will relax right away. If you hit an achward moment ask if they want to meet up later and leave a number or card.
I actually meet these girls later and they said they were laughing at the buger hanging from your nose.
Sadly, It’s just about the pussy. Why else would you want to approach them? And they know this. This is their game. All these cunts, yes CUNTS have to do is bat an eye in your direction and you have to begin the pushups to “win them over” Fuck that. Unfortunately, 9 times out of 10 that is the scenario. Occasionally a woman who isn’t a piece of shit, and knows herself and who and what she wants, will take the initiative to APPROACH YOU. Then you know you have a good one.
It’s not that hard, guys. You don’t win attraction, but you can fuck it up. What should you have done? easy. You and your wingman should have brainstormed about something interesting or someplace interesting that is happening in the area. Walk up to the damn table and introduce yourself. There are no pickup lines that work better than “Hi my name is…” After you introduce yourself, simply ask if they expect anyone else to join them… pause. If they are as tense as you, they may or may not smell the request to join them, which more than likely they have not. After a few seconds pause, “We’d like to join you for a second to meet you” read the body language. feel, hear, smell signals. If you do get an invite to sit down, calm them and let them know that you won’t be there long, and steer the convo to that interesting thing or place, ask them to join you. Read the body lingo here too. If you think that there is a chance of their being too shy to say yes, SET A TIME and tell them you’ll be there, that you’d like them to join you, and get out of their face and let them eat. If you have a card with an email address, its a softer sell then the phone number. TRY DAMN IT! I noticed you is a lot better than singling out a body part or an article of clothing, "I noticed you ,(pause)and I wanted to say hi. fail a few times, it really doesn’t hurt. It beats the piss out of bumping into someone that you were interested in or a friend of theirs and hearing “why didn’t you go for it?”
I swear to God I did this once…
I was overseas, when this super-hot looking Aussie chick was looking at me (we were in a bar) over the shoulders of the 4 guys who had her surrounded (flirting…the guys thought, I guess). I was sitting next to an empty bar stool. I looked at her, glanced quickly down at the empty stool, and then back at her. All with only eye motion, almost keeping eye contact for the entire time. She came over and sat down and introduced herself. The other guys were left in the dust, she never even went back over to explain why she walked away. I swear. It really happened…my friends saw it…while I’m sure it’ll never work for me again, maybe it will for you. Maybe you only get 1 of those in your lifetime, though, so use it wisely…
Simple. If you’re too shy to approach, or you’re just not in the mood to face being shot down, just put your name and number on a napkin, make eye contact with them, and make the international sign for “call me” while pointing at the napkin. If they dig you, they’ll call, if they were just commenting amongst themselves about the food stuck in your teeth they won’t. Either way you win.
Vagiphobe, you suffer from a misconception of sorts. I’ll bet that you think that men pick up women, right? Wrong. Women pick up men.
All this “What should I have said?” stuff is completely beside the point. What you say doesn’t really matter (unless it’s so egregiously stupid or insulting that anyone would walk away from you). Any normal conversation will do you.
Think about a couple of scenarios. Scenario A: You see a girl in a bar. She wants to be picked up/get laid that night. (Of course, you don’t know this.) You and she make eye contact, and she doesn’t look away. Okay, right there you’re in. You can walk up to her, say hi, and then five minutes later say “Wanna get out of here?” and she’ll go with you.
Now, Scenario B: You see a girl in a bar. She doesn’t want to be picked up/get laid that night. (Of course, you don’t know this.) You and she make eye contact, and she doesn’t look away. You go up and say hi, and she probably talks to you for a while. But no matter what great pick-up line you use, no matter how scintillating your conversation is, she’s not going home with you.
So, have you failed? Of course not. It was never your decision to begin with. Once you realize this basic point (that men don’t pick women up, women pick men up) it removes all the pressure from you, and you can go ahead and have a normal conversation without worrying about whether you’re saying “the right thing”. There is no right thing.
Ah, another young T-Man set on the track to relaxation and random coital bliss. I think my work here is done. (Cue background music, as char-dawg flies off into the sunset…)
I was deeply troubled by your post. I have seen guys fail miserably. I couldn’t live with myself if I ran away from an opportunity. However, all is not lost. You know how difficult it was for you to go home without any female contact. Remember that next time. In the immortal words of Jim Carrey, “He who hesitates, masturbates.”
Hooker, I do not want any more falsehoods posted. I talked to your friends. They said nothing like that ever happened. They said that you spent the entire night looking at a barstool. Don’t try to help our confused brethren by making something up. Next it’s going to be, “I have this girl in Canada…”
Yes, I’m sorry…that was a boldfaced lie…my friends said they spoke to you about it.