How To Motivate

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21

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
I just tell people that working out and eating right and that sort of thing is more a lifestyle change, or at least a significant adjustment, more than anything else. I tell them that being healthy and looking good isn’t for everyone and that people like me need fat slobs like them around so that my dashing good looks, machine-like metabolism and super-human strength don’t become devalued.

I’m not sure if this inspires anyone to work out or not, but I don’t really care. The worse everyone around me looks, the better I come across. Most of my friends look like they got skull-fucked by a lead pipe, which really elevates the way others perceive me in a way that satisfies my rampant ego. I’m a narcissist whose vanity has its roots in childhood rejection and athletic failures at the Division 1 level, with a large dose of embarrassing, less-than flattering episodes involving expensive cocaine, cheap whiskey and feces in my younger days. The fact that I can still surround myself with complete monsters that make me look like a cross between Steve McQueen, Miles Davis and God is all that I have left in life. [/quote]

Wait, you think I’m ugly?[/quote]

I thought that YOU thought the same way about me, hence our business relationship. I always kind of assumed I was the guy you kept around to make YOU look better. I put up with it because I like to be seen in the presence of large, hulking black men. It validates me in more ways than surrounding myself with people far worse-looking than me does. [/quote]

No,man. I only roll with equally beautiful people or better. Why on earth would I want some ugly fuck hanging around me? I get sexual urges and the last thing I want sitting next to me is a Sam Cassel lookalike.[/quote]

So you wanna fuck? I’ve got metal-studded nunchuks and a 25lb. sack of rice in my bombshelter.[/quote]

Thumbtacks baby

Let’s do this like Mick Foeley

22

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
I just tell people that working out and eating right and that sort of thing is more a lifestyle change, or at least a significant adjustment, more than anything else. I tell them that being healthy and looking good isn’t for everyone and that people like me need fat slobs like them around so that my dashing good looks, machine-like metabolism and super-human strength don’t become devalued.

I’m not sure if this inspires anyone to work out or not, but I don’t really care. The worse everyone around me looks, the better I come across. Most of my friends look like they got skull-fucked by a lead pipe, which really elevates the way others perceive me in a way that satisfies my rampant ego. I’m a narcissist whose vanity has its roots in childhood rejection and athletic failures at the Division 1 level, with a large dose of embarrassing, less-than flattering episodes involving expensive cocaine, cheap whiskey and feces in my younger days. The fact that I can still surround myself with complete monsters that make me look like a cross between Steve McQueen, Miles Davis and God is all that I have left in life. [/quote]

Wait, you think I’m ugly?[/quote]

I thought that YOU thought the same way about me, hence our business relationship. I always kind of assumed I was the guy you kept around to make YOU look better. I put up with it because I like to be seen in the presence of large, hulking black men. It validates me in more ways than surrounding myself with people far worse-looking than me does. [/quote]

No,man. I only roll with equally beautiful people or better. Why on earth would I want some ugly fuck hanging around me? I get sexual urges and the last thing I want sitting next to me is a Sam Cassel lookalike.[/quote]

So you wanna fuck? I’ve got metal-studded nunchuks and a 25lb. sack of rice in my bombshelter.[/quote]

Thumbtacks baby

Let’s do this like Mick Foeley[/quote]

I have a formica table but I lent my 12-foot ladder to my friend and he hasn’t given it back to me. That was three months ago. We could burn his house down for the abuse of my generosity and fuck amidst the flames. And fuck thumbtacks, you pussy. Shove the newest RAPEAXE!!! product of your liking up your ass and I’ll bring wax-coated 16-penny nails and one of DarkNinja’s triplets’ heads.

23

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
I just tell people that working out and eating right and that sort of thing is more a lifestyle change, or at least a significant adjustment, more than anything else. I tell them that being healthy and looking good isn’t for everyone and that people like me need fat slobs like them around so that my dashing good looks, machine-like metabolism and super-human strength don’t become devalued.

I’m not sure if this inspires anyone to work out or not, but I don’t really care. The worse everyone around me looks, the better I come across. Most of my friends look like they got skull-fucked by a lead pipe, which really elevates the way others perceive me in a way that satisfies my rampant ego. I’m a narcissist whose vanity has its roots in childhood rejection and athletic failures at the Division 1 level, with a large dose of embarrassing, less-than flattering episodes involving expensive cocaine, cheap whiskey and feces in my younger days. The fact that I can still surround myself with complete monsters that make me look like a cross between Steve McQueen, Miles Davis and God is all that I have left in life. [/quote]

Wait, you think I’m ugly?[/quote]

I thought that YOU thought the same way about me, hence our business relationship. I always kind of assumed I was the guy you kept around to make YOU look better. I put up with it because I like to be seen in the presence of large, hulking black men. It validates me in more ways than surrounding myself with people far worse-looking than me does. [/quote]

No,man. I only roll with equally beautiful people or better. Why on earth would I want some ugly fuck hanging around me? I get sexual urges and the last thing I want sitting next to me is a Sam Cassel lookalike.[/quote]

So you wanna fuck? I’ve got metal-studded nunchuks and a 25lb. sack of rice in my bombshelter.[/quote]

Thumbtacks baby

Let’s do this like Mick Foeley[/quote]

I have a formica table but I lent my 12-foot ladder to my friend and he hasn’t given it back to me. That was three months ago. We could burn his house down for the abuse of my generosity and fuck amidst the flames. And fuck thumbtacks, you pussy. Shove the newest RAPEAXE!!! product of your liking up your ass and I’ll bring wax-coated 16-penny nails and one of DarkNinja’s triplets’ heads.[/quote]

Oh

Your friend must pay. Mmmm waterboarding with amonia

I will tape wo water balloons on your chest and titfuck you.

Nothing to wild right now.

24

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
When I introduce people I know to lifting weight and eating better I make it fun for them.

Its about having fun, really. The general population only want to feel good. That’s why they don’t train to begin with. There’s too much of a hardcore image of people who work out and it doesn’t have to be that way.

You have to ease them into it

I like to do it over a few weeks

Week one may be teaching cleans and doing singles with bumper plates for an hours or so

While at the same time laughing at a guy who is grunting loudly or just fucking around in general

After that I will take them grocery shopping to show them what to buy…then we cook together

Seeing how I can make clean meals taste like dirty ones while spend less on them hooks them a litlle more

That first week is all singles on the big lifts

Week 2 have them do double or triples

At the end of week three they should be getting comments on appearance improvements…from other nonlifters. That’ll hook them further

The next week they’ll be stronger and have more endurance so a push for 5x5 is the next step

They come back when its fun and show them just how much more they will be allowed to eat and not feel guilty about it

Show them the asses of the women in the gym…that’s enough for me to keep coming back lol[/quote]

U need to teach me how to cook whenever i try to cook healthy it taste like crap i have to literally force my dried grilled chicken breast down my throat eww

25

people like to have this conversation with me all the time.

“I used to be pumped/huge/strong/thin/sexy/ but now I got old and fat, and want to get back in shape.”

I listen.

Nod my head.

and hand them a cookie.

26

[quote]Edgy wrote:
people like to have this conversation with me all the time.

“I used to be pumped/huge/strong/thin/sexy/ but now I got old and fat, and want to get back in shape.”

I listen.

Nod my head.

and hand them a cookie.[/quote]

I hear ya. You cant motivate someone. They have to want it. And of the ones that says they do want it, a small percentage actually do.

27

Everyone wants to look better, but usually the ones that are willing to actually do it will approach you asking for help.

28

F-em,

If they don’t want to excercise or loose weight- F-em.

What you should do is get a good term life policy and wait for them to pass. Then you collect as you will live longer because of your lifestyle.

Now where to get a good term policy you ask? Well my good man, I happen to sell insurance and can help you out.

29

Print this and show it to them. If they ask for help give it, then if they give up you know you did your part. If the don’t give up PROFIT.