Well firstly I would say we are vastly different people who have led different lifestyles, have wildly different genetics (judging by your pics, you’ve got pretty good and long muscle bellies you are probably on the upper end of the spectrum), and I don’t know what exactly your starting point was, how lean you were or what sort of base you had, but it was most probably way better than mine.
I do agree that I very seriously obsesses over stuff, this is not just with gym, gym is a more recent crazy obsession, but I have obsessed over way more things like grades, university, job and I do believe to an extent I have gotten success (and equal frustrations) from that obsession, I feel I can bring it to this shit as well and leave absolutely no stone unturned, I’m doing mostly everything that I think I can in my power, maybe I am trying too much to hyperoptimize but this is just a very deeply ingrained personality trait I have once I get some serious obsession about something.
The thing is that I’m just pissed off because of how I look at 23, I find it absolutely embarrassing and I am wanting to optimize anything possible, work very hard and just stay damn focused. I feel as if I am losing time everyday when I see shit like this and that really frustrates me beyond what I can describe.
You aren’t wrong that “this is all you do.” I literally don’t care about anything else except the main essentials at this point, I don’t care for good food, staying up late, watching films this is what I want and I want it at any cost now. I have spent far too much time in stupid shit, but I can’t disagree that this causes some serious frustration too because God damn I want to gain muscle.
@Voxel, mental health is obviously not great, maybe I am expecting too much out of my own maximum capabilities when i see other guys in the gym, I’m just not happy with where I am and I feel I am making some progress but god damn its slow and anytime i see the mirror I’m just more pissed again.