If it was a 2 way street she wouldn’t have needed to “find herself”. My vocab is filled with high testosterone alphas yes, why wouldn’t it be, this board is about testosterone. She should have sucked it up and stayed with him regardless of the situation (minus domestic violence, other levels of abuse) I doubt that was the case hy his posts.
Thanks I won’t be doing that. It’s jsut good info to remember for our health.
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“Alpha male” is a ridiculous term for people that are insecure. She should have “sucked it up”, probably. I agree with that in principle. That doesn’t change the fact that your attitude towards women and relationships as displayed here is unhealthy and immature, and unlikely to lead to a fulfilling long-term relationship. This board is about health, not about using test as an excuse to be boorish.
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The first years of our relationship were great. But as time went on and my own problems started stacking up and low T picked up steam and progressively got worse and my work consumed me and we had 5 kids along with the last two years not having ANY sexual interest along with anxiety and depression along with being too tired to do anything or go out and have fun along with normal family life stresses and money and the stresses on her…I was not there for her. No clingyness. No alpha male bullshit. Just straight up not there for eachother and worn out and medical problems and fighting all the time and never resolving anything. She fought long and hard for me. She is a good woman and I love her. Will this end well? I have no idea. But as an adult with vows, promises, responsibilities to myself and my loved ones and my work, 17 years of love and commitment and no side pieces and an understamding that comes through treatment and self improvement and books and counseling and a foundation in Christ… I dont just quit. I fight for what is right and good and aknowlege my screw ups and do everything in my power to correct it. At the end of the day it may not be enough…but I will be enough for myself and my kids and my loved ones. Ride or die. All the way. You dont quit…even when everyone else does. You cant control the other person…but you can correct your mistakes and maybe they see…maybe they don’t…but at the end of the day i live in my own head and have to answer for my own thoughts and actions. I sleep better that way. Being a man is not being beta or alpha…it is a code of conduct, thoughts and actions manifested to reality. Living your best life and always seeking better. I appreciate the advice…but… This is not a level of responsibilty or love and commitment that you currently understand…I wish you well and hope you do get there…good or bad there is no other experiance like a marriage and children to make you evolve and grow. You may not always know what to do but you always move forward and until you hit a wall you cant move, break, or climb over…you keep the faith and follow that path.
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I am more secure than a man who thinks one thing will cure a relationship. I am simply advising him not to chase anything but himself, and his kids, because in the end those are the only 2 true things he can always rely on.
Your wife etc can leave you any minute, and to be so focused on something that can and has left you, instead of the one person who will never leave you (yourself) is a huge mistake.
I have given no ill advice, focus on yourself for yourself. Don’t force or negotiate love, because then it becomes obligation, then resentment.
True love isn’t forced by need to change, if you have to change to be loved, she doesnt love you, move on, stop holding on.
How is this bad advice?
I personally hate the term “alpha male”…I typically only hear it from my friends who are more insecure as well. Like this constant life quest to prove everyone else is a “beta” and they’re not.
My now ex truly taught me that it’s okay, and actually a positive, to be able to show weakness at times. When my grandpa died, I broke down in tears on the floor. Did I care? No, I’m upset, and IMO it takes more of a man to be able to show his true self rather than try to cover it up.
Being strong is totally different. That’s about taking responsibility, and standing up to fix problems or stand up for your beliefs.
Read Mark Manson’s Models…he covers all of this. Gave a copy to a friend who was stuck in the whole “alpha male” thing, thinking he had to “play the game” to get girls.
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So you worked your ass off to support your family and had no time to spend with them or energy to do extra things? And thats somehow your fault?
How can you want a women who doesnt love you after all you did? You were a walking atm for her and that still wasn’t enough? What more of your soul do you have to sell to her for her to come back and love you? Have some self respect. If you are a man of christ focus on christ first.
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@josht9210. Christ is always first. He had much to say about loving your wife as he loves the church. This is not however a theological discussion and i am not sure it is the correct forum for it and I am the one that brought it up…
As far as being taken advantage of goes…you must consider both sides and in her eyes she has gone through hell and has her own demons to contend with along with her own health. I can not fault her or blame her and “true love” is a choice and it IS work and you have to be willing to not just meet halfway, but to go all the way…if you are not secure and strong enough to do so or the other person truly does not want it…then it is over. Or…you can give up…guard your heart…never grow and become stronger and wiser…have a jealous petty heart and all the sickness and despaur that follows… It is not something I will do. I am not being harmed by this. I am doing nothing against my will. I am not changing in any way that is not better for me and my loved ones. I am performing delicate major surgery to root out and remove cancer from my life. Whatever the outcome…I will be stronger, wiser, and more capable. Love man…love…and the prooer expression of. I dont know you yet I love you still and wish you so much happiness.
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I’m an ex devout christian, theres a lot of scripture I could actually share on this subject, but I try to stay away from preaching.
Just read your book, I promise you there are tons of answers related to this. Put your focus where it needs to be, you could be chasing the wrong thing. Is your passion and pursuit for christ as strong as it is for your wife, etc etc. Anyway
@josht9210. Thank you for caring. I will continue to read.
This is trt. Alpha means you take lead, the pressure and decisions can be on your shoulders when in a relationship. You help others. You guide and give advice. Good levels of T turn men into their normal selves. It’s the core the is amplified when we are healthy with hormones. Those who cannot control anger become angry: those who want to be happy smile and joke.
The way you are describing this is very short sighted. You really need to re evaluate what being a man on Trt means.
You now have the ability to become a genuinely good man that woman trust and look at with loving eyes. Not someone that you describe.
That’s if this is really how you operate.
I personally couldn’t just kick my wife out with nothing when I divorced her. I am taking care of everything for a year no matter how much i hate her. She lived with me for 7 years. Dropped her work and everything. She changed cities. I cannot do her like that. I don’t want someone doing that to my daughter if she ever had to get divorced.
I literally pay her rent; phone, car, insurance, school, child support, then I take care of my kid … why? Because soon she’ll have a job and she will appreciate that I was a good guy even though we separated. In years to come I will be able to continue seeing my child and right now I already see her more than she does.
Doing what’s right matters more than what you want.
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I don’t know about that brother. On low t we are sick. We don’t have the energy to feel and think or decide what’s best for us. At least for me. When we get healthy we are thrown into reality and the right decisions become clear. If you were already having healthy levels you’d probably of done the same.
It’s different if we leave someone on trt due to sex issues. Like in “I wanted some strange”. That’s trt.
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@enackers. I would have to agree with you… Just one week and my mind feels like it is surfacing from almost drowning and is getting some air. Evrything… And I mean everything, looks different from what I thought it was and that feeling and thought process change is only getting stronger. I would definately call it personal clarity. I did not have that before. I probably have not had it for twelve years. I feel more in control of my own mind and actions and more content with things I have no control over and feel excited about new possibilities and less focused on the negatives.
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Do daily. Why 224? Is shbg high? What is free t currently? Good thoughts my friend stay focused on the outcome. You will get get this and feel great on the end.
Just remneber that you will have ups and downs until your body ride itself of all Ai. Most feel great within weeks of ditching. Post here if you have any issues and I’ll confirm if they see expected or men experience similar issues after dropping ai.
@enackers. My free T was very low and so was est. Free t was 6.3 pg/ml and estrodial sensitive was like…14.8… My sex horm binding glob was 80.3 nmol/L. I am on every 3 1/2 day injections at 200mg test cyp per week split into two injections of 100. I have A1 but have not used and dont plan to due to some good advice from members here. I also have HCG I am supposed to take two doses weekly for a total of 1000 untis but I do not take that either. I am starting with just test cyp. My third injection is Tuesday morning. My biggest suprise is the effects it is having already when three weeks was the general consensus of actual results.
Got it. I’m confused. This lab is from what part of trt or pre?
@enackers.
Pre trt. I only started trt last week.
@enackers.
Lab is about two weeks old.
Sorry I didn’t read the full roll. Good thank god haha 