[quote]debraD wrote:
You’re screwed. This is something people must find on their own.
matsm21, honestly I would puke if someone tried that bonding line on me :D[/quote]
Lol, well I guess I wouldn’t have to use it on you!!
Have you tried hitting her?
[quote]Capacity wrote:
AccipiterQ wrote:
She starts with the whole ‘oh so you think I’m fat’ thing.
she tells me later that heart disease, obesity, and diabetes have run in her family in the past.
She thinks that because she’s a vegan these things won’t happen to her.
She also has the ‘carry weight around the hips/middle’ body type
I said ‘well, if you’re worried about this, why not come to the gym with me, and try to lose maybe 10-15 lbs.’ Yeah that went over about as well as you’d imagine.
She does NOTHING physical right now.
I’ve got to admit, I spent considerable time trying to come up with a little constructive advice. Bottom line, you’re fucked. Pack it up and move on or you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to light a fire under her fat ass. Trust me on this. Run. Run for the hills…
Cappy
[/quote]
yeah, she sent me an email earlier saying she’d consider going to the gym, but we have to find one that fits her budget constraints…so it’s progress, we’ll see if she follows through though.
[quote]AccipiterQ wrote:
Capacity wrote:
AccipiterQ wrote:
She starts with the whole ‘oh so you think I’m fat’ thing.
she tells me later that heart disease, obesity, and diabetes have run in her family in the past.
She thinks that because she’s a vegan these things won’t happen to her.
She also has the ‘carry weight around the hips/middle’ body type
I said ‘well, if you’re worried about this, why not come to the gym with me, and try to lose maybe 10-15 lbs.’ Yeah that went over about as well as you’d imagine.
She does NOTHING physical right now.
I’ve got to admit, I spent considerable time trying to come up with a little constructive advice. Bottom line, you’re fucked. Pack it up and move on or you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to light a fire under her fat ass. Trust me on this. Run. Run for the hills…
Cappy
yeah, she sent me an email earlier saying she’d consider going to the gym, but we have to find one that fits her budget constraints…so it’s progress, we’ll see if she follows through though. [/quote]
Start out with a punch card or something, if possible. That way, she isn’t tied into a contract if/when she decides to sit on the couch and let her ass spread.
Tell her she either goes to the gym (dammitt!)…or you will start withholding the 'ole LoveStick and hiding her Tofu!
(…I’m just sayin’…)
Mufasa
I would just leave it alone or you’ll have problems for a long time. You could start to resent her for not being into her health. She could start resenting you for nagging her to get fit. One thing a relationship can never overcome is contempt.
Just accept her for the way she is. If you can’t, then it’s a doomed relationship on many levels.
[quote]debraD wrote:
I would puke if someone tried that bonding line on me :D[/quote]
Great weight loss strategy! No gym membership required!
(sex drive still intact?)
[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
Based on your past posts, I’m going to congratulate you on having a girlfriend. Also, based on your history, I’d discourage her from working out, getting really hot and dumping you.
On a serious note, don’t try and manipulate her with the bonding crappolla. If I heard that, I’d dump you because you clearly think I have the intelligence of a lap dog.
If she isn’t into it, it’s going to be tough to motivate her. I would continue with the family health angle. She really does need her own drive though.[/quote]
Or, he could lead by example, no?
I know when I cleaned up my diet and started working out with regular frequency, it ‘rubbed off’ on a few people close to me. Metaphorically, I mean, as I do not rub myself on people or things like some lap dog.
I mean, really now…
[quote]PonceDeLeon wrote:
Or, he could lead by example, no?
I know when I cleaned up my diet and started working out with regular frequency, it ‘rubbed off’ on a few people close to me. Metaphorically, I mean, as I do not rub myself on people or things like some lap dog.
I mean, really now…[/quote]
Then how the hell do you explain your actions last Friday night???
I agree that you can lead by example. I’ve done this, but it can be difficult (like if she wants you to drag her by example!).
[quote]DaahsirRoon wrote:
Have you tried hitting her?[/quote]
That made me laugh. But seriously, you can only say so much, she’s obviously not interested. There’s nothing you can do, unless you tell her she’s fat and with the added 15lbs behind her slaps i wouldn’t tell her that.
[quote]AccipiterQ wrote:
OK, so my gf isn’t fat or obese I’ll just say that straight off. The other day I suggested that we go to the gym together, since I go frequently, and I think it’d be fun. She starts with the whole ‘oh so you think I’m fat’ thing.
I do the whole ‘no you’re not fat’ routine. Anyway, she tells me later that heart disease, obesity, and diabetes have run in her family in the past. She thinks that because she’s a vegan these things won’t happen to her.
I tell her that she’s incorrect, and that it reduces her chances possibly, but things like exercise have a huge role in it. She also has the ‘carry weight around the hips/middle’ body type, that if I recall correctly is an indicator of increased risk for diabetes and other diseases later in life.
So she brings it up again a few days later, and starts talking about the family history again , and I said ‘well, if you’re worried about this, why not come to the gym with me, and try to lose maybe 10-15 lbs.’ Yeah that went over about as well as you’d imagine.
I covered it by saying that when you’re serious about working out you can say that without meaning someone’s fat or unattractive, and that after bulking phases in the past I’ve needed to lose more. That at least quelled her fury. I explained that my point was that if there’s this history in her family of these diseases, then she should try to get into top shape to ward off trouble down the line, extend her life, and give her a higher quality of life.
I’m not sure she’s buying it though. How do I get her to start working out? She does NOTHING physical right now. Honestly, I am attracted to her, else I wouldn’t be with her, but if she lost say 15 lbs. I’d be even more attracted to her.
[/quote]
You don’t need to get her in the gym. You need a new girlfriend. Seriously. There are women out there who don’t go psycho when you ask them to come to the gym with you. There are women out there who enjoy working out and have all of the other traits you like in your gf. There are women out there who are truly interested in having a great relationship with you and not in playing the headgames like “So you think I’m fat?”.
Step 1 in having a happy life is saying to yourself “I’m not going to accept things into my life that are less than what I want”.
Step 2 is setting those expectations high, but realistic. (I am going to have a great girlfriend, but I’m probably not going to wind up sleeping with 20 year old twins like Hugh Hefner).
Step 3 is implementing this new mentality. It’s a lot harder than you think. Be forgiving of yourself, willing to admit mistakes and rectify them.
Step 4 is learning to be brutal in enforcement. At first it will make your life worse, then a hell of a lot better.
Good luck.
I think you need to find a new girlfriend. If this is an issue for you now then it will just get worse later on. You don’t have to dump her now but don’t make any long term plans with her. In the mean time you should keep your eye open for a women who is closer to what you want.
You need to accept that if she doesn’t excercise regularly now then she never will and there is nothing you can do to change that. Even if you convince her to exercise then how do you know later on she won’t stop? It really has to be a lifestyle thing or else it won’t last for most people. Real motivation comes from inside. Besides, if you convince her to do it for you then she could resent you for it.
This just doesn’t sound like a good way to start a lasting relationship. You also need to be sure you are honest with yourself. Not everyone can date supermodels. If you don’t think you can do better than her then you either need to accept it or improve yourself so that you can improve your prospects.
bpeck, I agree with you except I think he should simply dump her ASAP. No point is having the dead weight dragging after you while you look for Miss Right. Too many guys do this and wind up married to the defective leech years later just because she was there.
Any more time spent with her is time lost. Dump her and move on. Study Mystery’s Method or David D’Angelo or something if you need to up your game.
[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
Based on your past posts, I’m going to congratulate you on having a girlfriend.[/quote]
ka CHING! 
Why not just explain to her that this is important to you? If she still isn’t interested fuck her then dump her, then find someone else.
[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
Based on your past posts, I’m going to congratulate you on having a girlfriend. Also, based on your history, I’d discourage her from working out, getting really hot and dumping you.
On a serious note, don’t try and manipulate her with the bonding crappolla. If I heard that, I’d dump you because you clearly think I have the intelligence of a lap dog.
If she isn’t into it, it’s going to be tough to motivate her. I would continue with the family health angle. She really does need her own drive though.[/quote]
Cosigned.
A lot of the responses feel very manipulative and cynical to me (and I am very cynical.) Don’t focus on making her feel like she has to go, just keep inviting her to partake in this activity that you find so enjoyable and hope that she gets excited enough about it to go. People are gonna do what they’re gonna do. There are plenty of things I knew would be good for me to at least try - eg the chiropractor - before I finally got mentally prepared enough to make up my mind to give it a chance.
I would start by finding out why she doesn’t want to go. There could be any number of reasons, some easy to remedy, others not so much. I mean, if it’s budgetary (just because she said that doesn’t make it necessarily true, of course) that can be worked on. If she’s unfortable walking into a whole different culture, that can be eased into. If she’s afraid of being stared at, or is self-conscious not knowing what to do, these things can be fixed. If she hates hard work, well then maybe you’re stuck.
This is entirely serious…
If you really I mean really want a girl that is into lifting, working out, general health, etc…then I would suggest dumping your current girl and finding one that’s already into it and doing it for HERSELF. No one lasts if they do it entirely for someone else, I’ve tried to get ex’s into it - I’ve found the only way it works is if they were already into it before I met them.
[quote]zephead4747 wrote:
debraD wrote:
You’re screwed. This is something people must find on their own.
matsm21, honestly I would puke if someone tried that bonding line on me 
u lyk vomit pr0n 2?
kidding.[/quote]
i <3’z scat pron
not kidding.
kidding.