Hilarious True Stories!

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101

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
O SHIT WE GOT SMITHROLLED[/quote]

No, man, that really happened.

I swear.

If there’s one thing you should’ve learned by now, Vic, it’s that no one on the Internet ever lies about how awesome or unbelievable their life is.

Ever.[/quote]

FUCK YOU I’M PRE-MED
[/quote]
For real? I thought you were in marketing for some reason.[/quote]

No I was being a smart ass :wink:

I’m a programmer. I fucking hate the marketing dept grinds teeth[/quote]Haha, they can be divas for sure.

IT is not my forte but I understand you have to be quite the smarty pants for some of those roles. Just curious but where on the spectrum between helpdesk and architect is programming?

How is that ass of yours doing?
[/quote]

My ass is doing it’s job well as a cushion :slight_smile:

I’m closer to architect but more of a designer/developer. Architects generally don’t do any development. About a third of my time is spent designing, maybe a third actually writing code and the rest is integration and support. My software isn’t used by the general public so there isn’t really a help desk tier (there sort of is but it’s kind of weird compared to other places)[/quote]I figured you were a smart cookie. I wish you would comment in the testosterone thread. I do like it when you decide to interject more than a smart ass comment or two.

And please bring christine and emily. That thread could be epic, fun and even informative all in one.

I’m tired of these thread-derailing jellies flaming and turning the finger pointing game and would like a real debate or at least some first class flaming.

Or a funny story, which was the intent here.

102
103

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
http://mingle2.com/dating/phases[/quote]
Hahahaha, it works and i will absolutely abuse it while in my 20’s. i can never have these years back.

104

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
O SHIT WE GOT SMITHROLLED[/quote]

No, man, that really happened.

I swear.

If there’s one thing you should’ve learned by now, Vic, it’s that no one on the Internet ever lies about how awesome or unbelievable their life is.

Ever.[/quote]

FUCK YOU I’M PRE-MED
[/quote]
For real? I thought you were in marketing for some reason.[/quote]

No I was being a smart ass :wink:

I’m a programmer. I fucking hate the marketing dept grinds teeth[/quote]Haha, they can be divas for sure.

IT is not my forte but I understand you have to be quite the smarty pants for some of those roles. Just curious but where on the spectrum between helpdesk and architect is programming?

How is that ass of yours doing?
[/quote]

My ass is doing it’s job well as a cushion :slight_smile:

I’m closer to architect but more of a designer/developer. Architects generally don’t do any development. About a third of my time is spent designing, maybe a third actually writing code and the rest is integration and support. My software isn’t used by the general public so there isn’t really a help desk tier (there sort of is but it’s kind of weird compared to other places)[/quote]I figured you were a smart cookie. I wish you would comment in the testosterone thread. I do like it when you decide to interject more than a smart ass comment or two.

And please bring christine and emily. That thread could be epic, fun and even informative all in one.

I’m tired of these thread-derailing jellies flaming and turning the finger pointing game and would like a real debate or at least some first class flaming.

Or a funny story, which was the intent here.
[/quote]

Honestly I don’t think it’s worth the trouble trying to have an intelligent debate about testosterone or masculinity and femininity here. There really needs to be a base premise that everyone can debate from but you’ll never get that and you’ll just have people arguing in circles because everyone thinks their own premise is so bleeding obvious that anyone who doesn’t agree sucks cock by choice :stuck_out_tongue: And I don’t agree with the premise held by 99% of the posters here so there isn’t any point.

Plus threads like that just turn into a forum for ranting about retarded irrelevant issues with females. Or a bunch of made-up of pet theories about evolutionary psychology from morons who’ve never picked up a biology text book stating ‘facts.’

That doesn’t always stop me from inject my opinion however.

105

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
O SHIT WE GOT SMITHROLLED[/quote]

No, man, that really happened.

I swear.

If there’s one thing you should’ve learned by now, Vic, it’s that no one on the Internet ever lies about how awesome or unbelievable their life is.

Ever.[/quote]

FUCK YOU I’M PRE-MED
[/quote]
For real? I thought you were in marketing for some reason.[/quote]

No I was being a smart ass :wink:

I’m a programmer. I fucking hate the marketing dept grinds teeth[/quote]Haha, they can be divas for sure.

IT is not my forte but I understand you have to be quite the smarty pants for some of those roles. Just curious but where on the spectrum between helpdesk and architect is programming?

How is that ass of yours doing?
[/quote]

My ass is doing it’s job well as a cushion :slight_smile:

I’m closer to architect but more of a designer/developer. Architects generally don’t do any development. About a third of my time is spent designing, maybe a third actually writing code and the rest is integration and support. My software isn’t used by the general public so there isn’t really a help desk tier (there sort of is but it’s kind of weird compared to other places)[/quote]I figured you were a smart cookie. I wish you would comment in the testosterone thread. I do like it when you decide to interject more than a smart ass comment or two.

And please bring christine and emily. That thread could be epic, fun and even informative all in one.

I’m tired of these thread-derailing jellies flaming and turning the finger pointing game and would like a real debate or at least some first class flaming.

Or a funny story, which was the intent here.
[/quote]

Honestly I don’t think it’s worth the trouble trying to have an intelligent debate about testosterone or masculinity and femininity here. There really needs to be a base premise that everyone can debate from but you’ll never get that and you’ll just have people arguing in circles because everyone thinks their own premise is so bleeding obvious that anyone who doesn’t agree sucks cock by choice :stuck_out_tongue: And I don’t agree with the premise held by 99% of the posters here so there isn’t any point.

Plus threads like that just turn into a forum for ranting about retarded irrelevant issues with females. Or a bunch of made-up of pet theories about evolutionary psychology from morons who’ve never picked up a biology text book stating ‘facts.’

That doesn’t always stop me from inject my opinion however.
[/quote]
This is true. But the flaming circus can be fun.

I suppose BGs thread in SAMA awhile back was a decent attempt at the same. That was an interesting conversation, if not scientific. This can’t be denied debraD.

Is it dark for like 15 hours a day up there yet? I was in Prince George/Kitimet/Banff during November last year and couldn’t believe how dark it was most of the day.

106

Hilarious True Stories:

Bush was Re- elected

America Elected a Black president then serious Adults including decorated Military officers fought to see a birth certificate.

I can zoom in on my apt in Hawaii from my condo in MD. Thank you google maps, but It took us 10 years to find and kill a damn near 7 foot tall senior citizen that was found at a villa in a middle Eastern retirement home.

Fed Law vs State Law (gun laws)

Laugh damnit!

107

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
O SHIT WE GOT SMITHROLLED[/quote]

No, man, that really happened.

I swear.

If there’s one thing you should’ve learned by now, Vic, it’s that no one on the Internet ever lies about how awesome or unbelievable their life is.

Ever.[/quote]

FUCK YOU I’M PRE-MED
[/quote]
For real? I thought you were in marketing for some reason.[/quote]

No I was being a smart ass :wink:

I’m a programmer. I fucking hate the marketing dept grinds teeth[/quote]Haha, they can be divas for sure.

IT is not my forte but I understand you have to be quite the smarty pants for some of those roles. Just curious but where on the spectrum between helpdesk and architect is programming?

How is that ass of yours doing?
[/quote]

My ass is doing it’s job well as a cushion :slight_smile:

I’m closer to architect but more of a designer/developer. Architects generally don’t do any development. About a third of my time is spent designing, maybe a third actually writing code and the rest is integration and support. My software isn’t used by the general public so there isn’t really a help desk tier (there sort of is but it’s kind of weird compared to other places)[/quote]I figured you were a smart cookie. I wish you would comment in the testosterone thread. I do like it when you decide to interject more than a smart ass comment or two.

And please bring christine and emily. That thread could be epic, fun and even informative all in one.

I’m tired of these thread-derailing jellies flaming and turning the finger pointing game and would like a real debate or at least some first class flaming.

Or a funny story, which was the intent here.
[/quote]

Honestly I don’t think it’s worth the trouble trying to have an intelligent debate about testosterone or masculinity and femininity here. There really needs to be a base premise that everyone can debate from but you’ll never get that and you’ll just have people arguing in circles because everyone thinks their own premise is so bleeding obvious that anyone who doesn’t agree sucks cock by choice :stuck_out_tongue: And I don’t agree with the premise held by 99% of the posters here so there isn’t any point.

Plus threads like that just turn into a forum for ranting about retarded irrelevant issues with females. Or a bunch of made-up of pet theories about evolutionary psychology from morons who’ve never picked up a biology text book stating ‘facts.’

That doesn’t always stop me from inject my opinion however.
[/quote]
This is true. But the flaming circus can be fun.

I suppose BGs thread in SAMA awhile back was a decent attempt at the same. That was an interesting conversation, if not scientific. This can’t be denied debraD.

Is it dark for like 15 hours a day up there yet? I was in Prince George/Kitimet/Banff during November last year and couldn’t believe how dark it was most of the day.

[/quote]

No, I can deny that. That thread was a big circle jerk lol

It’s only dark 12 hours here but I’m not that far north. What the hell possessed you to go to Prince George??

108

[quote]four60 wrote:
Hilarious True Stories:

Bush was Re- elected

America Elected a Black president then serious Adults including decorated Military officers fought to see a birth certificate.

I can zoom in on my apt in Hawaii from my condo in MD. Thank you google maps, but It took us 10 years to find and kill a damn near 7 foot tall senior citizen that was found at a villa in a middle Eastern retirement home.

Fed Law vs State Law (gun laws)

Laugh damnit![/quote]

The sadness kills the funny.

109

[quote]four60 wrote:
Hilarious True Stories:

Bush was Re- elected

America Elected a Black president then serious Adults including decorated Military officers fought to see a birth certificate.

I can zoom in on my apt in Hawaii from my condo in MD. Thank you google maps, but It took us 10 years to find and kill a damn near 7 foot tall senior citizen that was found at a villa in a middle Eastern retirement home.

Fed Law vs State Law (gun laws)

Laugh damnit![/quote]
These are funny! I dig sarcasm.

Plus they never showed a body did they?

110

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
O SHIT WE GOT SMITHROLLED[/quote]

No, man, that really happened.

I swear.

If there’s one thing you should’ve learned by now, Vic, it’s that no one on the Internet ever lies about how awesome or unbelievable their life is.

Ever.[/quote]

FUCK YOU I’M PRE-MED
[/quote]
For real? I thought you were in marketing for some reason.[/quote]

No I was being a smart ass :wink:

I’m a programmer. I fucking hate the marketing dept grinds teeth[/quote]Haha, they can be divas for sure.

IT is not my forte but I understand you have to be quite the smarty pants for some of those roles. Just curious but where on the spectrum between helpdesk and architect is programming?

How is that ass of yours doing?
[/quote]

My ass is doing it’s job well as a cushion :slight_smile:

I’m closer to architect but more of a designer/developer. Architects generally don’t do any development. About a third of my time is spent designing, maybe a third actually writing code and the rest is integration and support. My software isn’t used by the general public so there isn’t really a help desk tier (there sort of is but it’s kind of weird compared to other places)[/quote]I figured you were a smart cookie. I wish you would comment in the testosterone thread. I do like it when you decide to interject more than a smart ass comment or two.

And please bring christine and emily. That thread could be epic, fun and even informative all in one.

I’m tired of these thread-derailing jellies flaming and turning the finger pointing game and would like a real debate or at least some first class flaming.

Or a funny story, which was the intent here.
[/quote]

Honestly I don’t think it’s worth the trouble trying to have an intelligent debate about testosterone or masculinity and femininity here. There really needs to be a base premise that everyone can debate from but you’ll never get that and you’ll just have people arguing in circles because everyone thinks their own premise is so bleeding obvious that anyone who doesn’t agree sucks cock by choice :stuck_out_tongue: And I don’t agree with the premise held by 99% of the posters here so there isn’t any point.

Plus threads like that just turn into a forum for ranting about retarded irrelevant issues with females. Or a bunch of made-up of pet theories about evolutionary psychology from morons who’ve never picked up a biology text book stating ‘facts.’

That doesn’t always stop me from inject my opinion however.
[/quote]
This is true. But the flaming circus can be fun.

I suppose BGs thread in SAMA awhile back was a decent attempt at the same. That was an interesting conversation, if not scientific. This can’t be denied debraD.

Is it dark for like 15 hours a day up there yet? I was in Prince George/Kitimet/Banff during November last year and couldn’t believe how dark it was most of the day.

[/quote]

No, I can deny that. That thread was a big circle jerk lol

It’s only dark 12 hours here but I’m not that far north. What the hell possessed you to go to Prince George?? [/quote]

Let me give you the abbreviated long version, if that even makes sense.

I graduated to a sweet job but realized I could do better on my own.

I started a company and for a few months it looked like I was totally going to fall on my face. I had invested everything I had in to it, lost a big contract to a merger and was headed to the MBA slums.

I worked for a friends dads company periodically to keep up with my personal bills, everything my company earned I had to put back in to it to keep it alive. All I really needed was a sales guy in the office and I just told him I was on vacation so he wouldn’t quit. (I picked up another big contract and then a few more fell in line just as I was going to declare bankruptcy :frowning: and then I started rocking and rolling and will do so forever.)

Anyways, in the meantime, I did some sandblasting/weld overlay work in boiler rooms at various plants/refineries/saw mills a week or so at a time for a personal cash flow.

They had a contract with the sawmill in Prince George. I spent a week there working an emergency shutdown.

Prince George was a shitty town but during down time we took off for the mountains, it was a lot of fun. I love Canada.

All of you cute little snowbunnies seem to have magnificent asses and I found the pervasive sarcastic humor to my liking.

111

People shoot blanks at each other in movies and war reenactments and stuff like that all the time.

I thought it was funny, must be because I’m a redneck Texan.

112

[quote]overstand wrote:
People shoot blanks at each other in movies and war reenactments and stuff like that all the time.

I thought it was funny, must be because I’m a redneck Texan.[/quote]
I can’t believe these pussies. It has to be general “blank” ignorance. I knew somebody would appreciate the humor.

I highly recommend taking a newbie hunting and loading his gun with blanks. Way better than snipe hunting.

113

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]overstand wrote:
People shoot blanks at each other in movies and war reenactments and stuff like that all the time.

I thought it was funny, must be because I’m a redneck Texan.[/quote]
I can’t believe these pussies. It has to be general “blank” ignorance. I knew somebody would appreciate the humor.

I highly recommend taking a newbie hunting and loading his gun with blanks. Way better than snipe hunting.

[/quote]

No one is saying that putting blanks in the guys gun and taking him hunting wasn’t funny. It crossed the line when someone put blanks in a PISTOL, pointed it at him and pulled the trigger in a situation “real” enough that it traumatized him enough to shit his pants. That kind of shit crosses a line that MOST people have (kinda like putting a pepper in someone’s food that could incapacitate them for days and cause them to make a trip to the emergency room).

Humor has many “evolutionary levels” from JackAss to Bill Cosby. The lowest being having fun at the expense of someone who is ACTUALLY hurt/traumatized. Even the guys at JackAss KNOWINGLY partake in the stunts that hurt them. The pranks that YOU describe offer the same level of shenanigans and personal injury/discomfort WITHOUT THAT CHOICE. Which is tasteless at best, and criminal at worst.

Your bad judgement DOES NOT make the people who disagree with you a “bunch of pussies”. Frankly, the FUNNIEST part of this thread is your hubris.

But as another gentleman pointed out, we’ve all been there and we’ve all done dumb shit. I went through MY phase before the internet was invented. But the self righteous indignation, trashing the other states, listing Texas’ accolades and your personal resume, WHILE ENTERTAINING, does NOT change the fact that MOST of the ADULTS on this forum agree that you and your friends were out of line pointing a GUN at a person who believed it was loaded.

Now I don’t believe I’ve attacked you anywhere in this reply, so I hope you don’t feel compelled to tell me how shitty the City of Baltimore is - I KNOW it’s shitty.

And to reiterate the point most of us “pussies” are making, pointing a gun at someone is a no-no. And while I can no longer legally own firearms, I assure you that I’ve been around PLENTY of them (which, coupled with MY bad judgement is why I’m no longer legally able to own them! LOL). The last two people that stuck a pistol in MY face are walking around with nine fingers now.

But carry on! As I said before, the most entertaining part of all of this is your hubris.

114

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]overstand wrote:
People shoot blanks at each other in movies and war reenactments and stuff like that all the time.

I thought it was funny, must be because I’m a redneck Texan.[/quote]
I can’t believe these pussies. It has to be general “blank” ignorance. I knew somebody would appreciate the humor.

I highly recommend taking a newbie hunting and loading his gun with blanks. Way better than snipe hunting.

[/quote]

They aren’t allowed to aim guns loaded with blanks directly at people on movie sets.

115

The other day I went to a coffee place and asked, in English, for two teas. They served them with some dishes, cookies and a million useless things.
So I saw that I couldn’t carry both at same time, so I told the girl “I’ll get one and then I’ll come back for the other…or we’ll have a tea-saster here”.

The best part of my awful jokes is that I don’t care if no one laughs…I laugh for all of them.

116

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]overstand wrote:
People shoot blanks at each other in movies and war reenactments and stuff like that all the time.

I thought it was funny, must be because I’m a redneck Texan.[/quote]
I can’t believe these pussies. It has to be general “blank” ignorance. I knew somebody would appreciate the humor.

I highly recommend taking a newbie hunting and loading his gun with blanks. Way better than snipe hunting.

[/quote]

No one is saying that putting blanks in the guys gun and taking him hunting wasn’t funny. It crossed the line when someone put blanks in a PISTOL, pointed it at him and pulled the trigger in a situation “real” enough that it traumatized him enough to shit his pants. That kind of shit crosses a line that MOST people have (kinda like putting a pepper in someone’s food that could incapacitate them for days and cause them to make a trip to the emergency room).

Humor has many “evolutionary levels” from JackAss to Bill Cosby. The lowest being having fun at the expense of someone who is ACTUALLY hurt/traumatized. Even the guys at JackAss KNOWINGLY partake in the stunts that hurt them. The pranks that YOU describe offer the same level of shenanigans and personal injury/discomfort WITHOUT THAT CHOICE. Which is tasteless at best, and criminal at worst.

Your bad judgement DOES NOT make the people who disagree with you a “bunch of pussies”. Frankly, the FUNNIEST part of this thread is your hubris.

But as another gentleman pointed out, we’ve all been there and we’ve all done dumb shit. I went through MY phase before the internet was invented. But the self righteous indignation, trashing the other states, listing Texas’ accolades and your personal resume, WHILE ENTERTAINING, does NOT change the fact that MOST of the ADULTS on this forum agree that you and your friends were out of line pointing a GUN at a person who believed it was loaded.

Now I don’t believe I’ve attacked you anywhere in this reply, so I hope you don’t feel compelled to tell me how shitty the City of Baltimore is - I KNOW it’s shitty.

And to reiterate the point most of us “pussies” are making, pointing a gun at someone is a no-no. And while I can no longer legally own firearms, I assure you that I’ve been around PLENTY of them (which, coupled with MY bad judgement is why I’m no longer legally able to own them! LOL). The last two people that stuck a pistol in MY face are walking around with nine fingers now.

But carry on! As I said before, the most entertaining part of all of this is your hubris.

[/quote]

Hubris aside, I have no qualms answering questions and challenges online. I find it hilarious that people make jabs, bait responses, hear shit they don’t like and then play the troll/liar flame game.

Some people really are awesome and throw their “drive”, “fire” et cetera in to what ever it is they are doing. Surely another entrepreneur can understand that. Only talent and intelligence limit these people and some people have lots of talent and intelligence.

As another reminder, only one person pulled the trigger, not the group of us. It wasn’t planned but after a tense moment, it was funny as fuck. And if the guy had picked a fight it would have been totally acceptable, also already stated. he had every right to be pissed but it was still a random, unplanned bit of funniness I’m glad I got to witness.

If witnessing something funny makes me a jack ass, so be it I guess? I didn’t pull the trigger, I didn’t pull the trigger, I didn’t pull the trigger… but I’m glad it happened and I saw it.

No, you didn’t attack, challenge, question or flame. So no hubris to reply with.

117

[quote]roybot wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]overstand wrote:
People shoot blanks at each other in movies and war reenactments and stuff like that all the time.

I thought it was funny, must be because I’m a redneck Texan.[/quote]
I can’t believe these pussies. It has to be general “blank” ignorance. I knew somebody would appreciate the humor.

I highly recommend taking a newbie hunting and loading his gun with blanks. Way better than snipe hunting.

[/quote]

They aren’t allowed to aim guns loaded with blanks directly at people on movie sets.
[/quote]

With both Movies and war reenactments all parties are in on the joke. No suprises.

118

[quote]Edevus wrote:
The other day I went to a coffee place and asked, in English, for two teas. They served them with some dishes, cookies and a million useless things.
So I saw that I couldn’t carry both at same time, so I told the girl “I’ll get one and then I’ll come back for the other…or we’ll have a tea-saster here”.

The best part of my awful jokes is that I don’t care if no one laughs…I laugh for all of them.[/quote]

Its funny if you imagine the guy from the Green Mile saying it.

119

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:
I have no qualms answering questions
[/quote]

HG - can you please explain to me how you have so much time to answer all these challenges, and why do you spend so much time defending yourself?

I get that you are hugely successful, great looking, above average cocksmith, 28 YO and have life by the short hairs, but why do you spend so much time talking about it?

I think you are probably a decent guy, and forgive me if I am reaching, but in most of your threads, you come off as a loudmouth bore, and that reeks of underconfidence…especially in a bodybuilding website.

just surprising is all -

120

[quote]four60 wrote:

[quote]roybot wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]overstand wrote:
People shoot blanks at each other in movies and war reenactments and stuff like that all the time.

I thought it was funny, must be because I’m a redneck Texan.[/quote]
I can’t believe these pussies. It has to be general “blank” ignorance. I knew somebody would appreciate the humor.

I highly recommend taking a newbie hunting and loading his gun with blanks. Way better than snipe hunting.

[/quote]

They aren’t allowed to aim guns loaded with blanks directly at people on movie sets.
[/quote]

With both Movies and war reenactments all parties are in on the joke. No suprises.[/quote]

Typically the victim of a prank isn’t in on the joke, that’s sort of the nature of a prank. I was just pointing out that it wasn’t as dangerous as people are making it out to be.