Helping People in the Gym...

Off Topic
101

Oh man, Force of One I’m happy for you, but like everyone else I was curious as hell, too. If it were me, I probably went to management and told them that lady was harrassing me from afar and explained the whole story. Like you said before, gym time is important and you need to be focused if you’re gonna get the most out of it.

If some lady is going around doing highschool shit for no apparent reason, something needs to be done. What a cop-out to your story, though, for all of us watching eating our popcorn. Same way I felt after watching Burn After Reading

On topic, over the years I have seen so many people doing so much stupid shit and never approached because I don’t feel like dealing with their shit when they can’t accept that they don’t know what they’re doing. Especially when I worked out at UMD and used to see guys fucking up their backs deadlifting and squatting wrong.

Although, I saw a girl on a crunch machine once at my current gym. She was pretty hot too. I don’t even remember what she was doing, but I decided to tell her something about it (I never actually use the machine myself). Turned out she couldn’t do it because she was too short for the machine, but still seemed to appreciate my effort, though.

Maybe if you’re wrong that’s the key to a girl not thinking you’re hitting on her? or maybe she liked me? Aside from that, I’ve only given advice to people who were working out with me or if someone asked.

102

I help the people who come up to me and ask to the best of my ability.

Aside from that I’m going to just do my thing and get out. Besides I think there’s something a little wrong with people that feel the need to provide unrequested “help.”

103

[quote]force of one wrote:

She quit going.

lol My new split puts me in the gym at least four days a week, so would have had to see here there sometime, but after that last time i told you about she was just gone. GOOD DEAL. I am so grateful to be off the hook. I was actually considering the idea of saying something.

So basically she crapped out with all the other “seasonal” idiots that just come in in the warm months, and then sod off in the fall/cool months.
I usually just sneer to myself about that crowd but this time I’m happy as a clam! It actually paid off very well for me.
But not only her, but all the fuckshits she was talking to seem to have vanished as well. Happy days are here again. Life is good.
I am 35 years old and I have a bad back. I have to fight tooth and nail for every tiny little gain. So when I am there I NEED to have my head in the game and fucking concentrate so for me this is the best possible ending.
However I know some of you guys wanted to see what would happen and so if freak o rama comes back in the spring I will let you know.
[/quote]

Watch out, she may be back in January!

104

Generally I don’t give advice to anyone. There are just too many retarded things going on at my University gym to devote that much time. I mind my own business. Some 30+ year old women ask me general questions, and some young guys ask questions. Some Mid-Eastern or Turk with chicken legs told me I squatted too low when I first started squatting. I ignored him and continued what I was doing. He did quarter squats with a belt on the smith machine with his three friends. Seriously.

105

When I was first lifting I was attempting to do DB incline presses. I had read a book, and seen people do them before, but it had never occurred to me to figure out how to get heavier weights up to my shoulders to perform the lift. An off-duty trainer saw me struggling with it, and showed me how to use my knees to get the weight up. Simple, once you know the trick, but damned if I wouldn’t have wrecked my shoulders (worse than they are) without his unsolicited help. I was, and still am, grateful for that.

That said, most people in the gym don’t want to hear it.

I’d say you should just judge on a case by case basis. If someone looks approachable, give it a go. If not, let them wreck their body (or waste their time).

But as to the person who said people should figure things out on their own - I couldn’t agree less. Everyone gets everywhere faster when a qualified teacher helps a willing student. Some things just don’t get figured out without help.

106

If it looks like someone is going to hurt themselves, I might let them know that there is a safer or better way to do the exercise. Otherwise, I leave them alone.

You are, of course, assuming that you know the “right” way.

107

I’m a good guy so I like to help out around my gym. I’m consistently being asked for spots on bench. Being that I’m a nice guy I always reply with “Sure!”. Usually my spotting technique involves standing directly over their head in a wide horse-stance, straddling their face if you will.

Granted I sport baggy shorts and like going commando in the gym, so they may have the distraction of a smiling willy in their eye during the set. I always warn them out the gate too that if the weight makes me strain, I may accidentally deliver a squirt in their eye, urine or shart, it varies depending on my mood. Like I said, I’m a good guy.

108

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:

I’ll give them a good beating when they get home.[/quote]

you’re not my mom, but can you still discipline me for leaving the weights around?

yeeeaaah, i’ve been a bad bad boy

109

I love seeing people get injured and use bad form so I never try to help them.

Nothing makes me feel better than seeing a guy use bad form.

110

[quote]Producer wrote:
I love seeing people get injured and use bad form so I never try to help them.

Nothing makes me feel better than seeing a guy use bad form.[/quote]

Well aren’t you a peach

111

The sincerity of the OP is what’s most appreciate by this question. Let’s put it this way, it’s 100% in the approach you take to correcting someone’s form. Not whether you should or shouldn’t do it.

In the OP’s circumstance, dude, you should have helped her. For you to ignore it, you know next week, next year, she’s still going to be performing it that same way, only with low back pain that doesn’t seem to subside anymore.

Look, as a trainer, I had to get used to telling dudes twice my size, some way “hey bro, your bench is really lacking in posturing.” Just clearly not that way.

Walking up to a guy with 2 plates on the bar for a back squat (nothing overly impressive, but nothing to shake a stick at either) (AT THE END OF HIS SET, NOT DURING) who is having a serious posterior pelvis tuck (losing low back arch) in the low position and saying “wow, your squat sucks, you really need to keep your back straight” is a solid way of landing yourself in the E.R. after he smokes you in the face.

But something closer to “Wow, that’s a pretty solid squat. I struggled to get up to that weight for a long time. Do you notice you lose a little of your low back arch when you get low? Does your low back hurt when you get down that far?”
He’ll either say “piss off,” “no, I didn’t notice” in which case you can then help, or “yea, I’ve really been struggling with that.” in which case he’ll be super responsive to some advice.

With women, it’s easy, first, don’t walk up like you’re trying to mack them (so no dicks in hand as someone already posted). Say instead “Wow, you have pretty good strength in that motion (in this case RDL). May I show you a trick that really helped me target my glutes instead of hurting my lower back?” If she tells you to get a life (which she won’t), fine…walk. 95% of the time she’s gonna say “sure!”

Show the correction, talk her through a few reps only, then tell her “if I can help with anything else, I’m just over there.”
AND WALK AWAY

So, here you are, a guy who complimented her, made her better, and didn’t act as if you’re dying to put it in her pooper (even if you are).

With guy’s, agreed, it’s trickier than that. If they’re way bigger than you or look like ego-fiends, then don’t bother. If it’s a young dude who really could use some simple guidance - IMO - IT’S YOUR DUTY AS A HIGHER LEVEL LIFTER TO SET HIM STRAIGHT.
Worst case scenerio, we don’t have the same dork doing hyperextended bicep curl cleans in the squat rack next time you see him.

AT

112

[quote]Triceptaurus wrote:

You are, of course, assuming that you know the “right” way. [/quote]

Agreed!!!

113 
 A lot has changed over the past few decades. There used to be a stronger bond between serious gym members and giving and getting advice from fellow lifters was a big part of that. When I started out some of the best advice I got came from the regulars that trained every day.

Once they saw that I was there putting in a solid effort every time I trained and that I was there consistantly, they started to pass along some training advice when it was obvious I could use it. Of course no one had ipods in their ears and the gym was small and hardcore. No TV’s mounted on the wall. No juice bar. People spotted eachother when asked and most knew how to spot. You actually could speak with the owner of the gym and he would give you a workout to help you up your deadlift, and not charge you for it.

I have tried to pass the favor on to people I see that could use some help but the "code of conduct" is different now.  I have not gotten very good responses from those I have tried to help so now I refrain unless asked. In particular most of the people that could use the help the most, such as young kids starting out like I did 35 years ago, seem to be the most put out and often rude in their response.

So I bought myself an ipod and no longer consider a trip to the gym a place where I will train with other people, to give and get encouragement. Now I go to a gym with people all around me and train by myself.

114

[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
Yo Momma wrote:

I’ll give them a good beating when they get home.

you’re not my mom, but can you still discipline me for leaving the weights around?

yeeeaaah, i’ve been a bad bad boy[/quote]

I’ll bend you over my knee and give you a good spanking.

Maybe I’d like that too much…

115

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
gbock wrote:
so we have talked about helping form and such… what about correcting gym etiquette?

I workout in a commercial gym in small town MN, but the power rack is always open, and I never have to wait to DL or squat.

Many annoying things happen here: ppl lifting 1 inch away and in the middle of the DB rack, the stretching lady using the power rack for her resistance band, doing yoga moves for 15-20min right in between the cable machines, erratic lady using every machine at once and placing towels and bottles on them to save spots, not putting db’s back, typical gym bs etc…

Do any of you correct gym etiquette? I like to think I could help clean up the madness here but it seems a bit more volatile than form correction.

Only once, to a bunch of teenagers who were fucking around, being loud and obnoxious, not putting stuff away…

I picked up their dumbbells as they were leaving the gym and said “Are you going to put these away? I’m not your fucking mother.”
[/quote]

Would have loved to see that!
Bet they wet themselves…

116

[quote]Duwatsrt wrote:
A lot has changed over the past few decades. There used to be a stronger bond between serious gym members and giving and getting advice from fellow lifters was a big part of that. When I started out some of the best advice I got came from the regulars that trained every day.

Once they saw that I was there putting in a solid effort every time I trained and that I was there consistantly, they started to pass along some training advice when it was obvious I could use it. Of course no one had ipods in their ears and the gym was small and hardcore. No TV’s mounted on the wall. No juice bar. People spotted eachother when asked and most knew how to spot. You actually could speak with the owner of the gym and he would give you a workout to help you up your deadlift, and not charge you for it.

I have tried to pass the favor on to people I see that could use some help but the "code of conduct" is different now.  I have not gotten very good responses from those I have tried to help so now I refrain unless asked. In particular most of the people that could use the help the most, such as young kids starting out like I did 35 years ago, seem to be the most put out and often rude in their response.

So I bought myself an ipod and no longer consider a trip to the gym a place where I will train with other people, to give and get encouragement. Now I go to a gym with people all around me and train by myself.
[/quote]

there are, however, still gyms like the one you started lifting in.
I work out in a pretty small gym in a rural area, everyone knows everyone and besides only a few rare exceptions everyone is kinda friends with one another - which is also the reason why lifting advice is usually welcome.

And yea i can talk to the gym owner and he helps me out whenever i ask for help, i even borrowed his car jack few weeks ago, since i didn’t have one :stuck_out_tongue:

so maybe you should just look for a new gym, there are still good ones out there - far from the comercial crap, though

117

I’ve noticed that even when someone asks me for advice, they don’t listen, so I’ve stopped caring what others are doing. Even saying the gym equivalent of “you’ll poke your eye out” doesn’t help.

118

If people leave several 45’s on the bar I’ll call them out on it. I haven’t gotten an f*** off yet, generally I just get some variant of an excuse (“I forgot”) or something.

Force of one: if she comes back and starts doing it again, grab your balls and ask her (or one of the guys) what the problem is. Passive aggressive=lose.

EDIT: I don’t offer advice though, unless I’m asked. As already stated, people’s gym-ego’s are uber sensitive. Even if they seem to listen to what you offer, they’ll rarely (read: never) actually change what they do in response.

119

some people really need the help. some people do really silly things in the gym that put themselves in dangerous situations. whether they look like theyll listen or not, or whether they look like the type of person that would think im a rapist or not, if theyre putting themselves in harms way, ill say something… very gently and kindly mind you; its the only non-self centered and sensible thing to do my friends. some people just dont know any better, and it is our duty as not only as educated pursuants of health and muscle, but as GOOD human beings to do so. when i do this though… i put myself in the mindset of being a kind, loving person whom cares about other’s safety and well being… if they listen, great (and i honestly hope they do for their sake)… if not and they think im some kind of cocky fuck or rapist… well… i wont feel the guilt when 200lbs comes crashing down their 120lbs frame cracking their spine in half on a power rack.

i feel that being a positive human being in this society does not come without challenge; some people will respond in ill ways towards your gestures; self-centered or self-sacrificing…this is the risk a good Samaritan takes in a being the good Samaritan; just like the guy who gets hurt by a hitch-hiker he tried to help. in the gym though, all i risk is the possibility of not having my warnings heeded or being labeled as a cocky fuck who thinks he knows everything… either consequence is not that bad for the possibility of keeping somebody from being a paraplegic… ill take the risk… ill take the responsibility because choose to be a good person and choose to be a MAN.

120

[quote]force of one wrote:
Nope. Not a chance. Not unless someone asks me a question.

For starters, mostly people just don’t want to be bothered even if you mean well.

And also I am there to work my ass off, to get big, to push myself… not to help people.

Not that I would mind or anything. It would be a nice thing to do, and I like doing nice things. Like you said there are plenty of people who could use a nudge in the right direction here and there.
But that just doesn’t work in the gym for some reason.
The men are too busy pretending/ believing that they know everything. Of course they will never listen.

And the women… lol don’t even think about it. If you even so much as innocently glance in their general direction they think your a stalker psycho or your about to try and bust out some greasy pick up line.

Generally speaking its usually a good idea to focus on what your doing, and not worry about other people’s shit.[/quote]

Everything you said.

I used to try to help people, even when i worked at a gym for 3 years, only if it got really bad, did i go and correct and or stop them.
Now i only help if they ask.