[quote]GhorigTheBeefy wrote:
Sigh. I sure hope you aren’t trollin me.
Quit caring about every damn little thing. I’ve never read it but there is supposed to be a good book called “Don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all small stuff”. It’s supposed to help you realize what’s actually important and throw out all the BS. You need to find out what’s truly important to you and ignore all the white noise. If her not being a virgin is truly important to you and very upsetting, then you only have one option. Break up with her.
I usually don’t talk about my personal life too much on the internet, but I’ll try and help you out. My wife and I lost our virginity to each other when we were 19 in college. We are the only people we either have been sexually active with. Do I like that? Eh, I do but mainly just because it’s nice to know we don’t ever have to worry about STDs creeping up on us.
I kind of get it. The thought of her being with somebody else could kind of give me an “unclean” feeling. But, then again so does her taking a nasty shit in our toilet. She’s pregnant with our first child and she’s taking those nasty pregnant shits all the time. I have to smell it frequently and sometimes I have to see it. Guess what? I still love her and I’d love her even if she had been with somebody else.
If your view of intimacy is you being the only person to have ever gone there, then you’re probably going to be pretty miserable. That and you’re missing the point. Being intimate with somebody is going to be different for each person and that person’s relationship. Intimacy with your father should be different than your spouse/gf, at least I sure hope it is.
It’s up to those involved in the relationship to define their relationship. Some people have very rigid “jealous” relationships. And others have very open relationships. Some people, I think Push is or has been one of them, have open sexual relationships yet still maintain great intimacy with their spouse. Some people can be ok knowning/seeing somebody else fucking the bejesus (technical term) out of their spouse. This can actual bring them together and strengthen the relationship. I’d never try it because I don’t have the desire to and I know I’d lose my shit. Either way that choice doesn’t belittle the relationship.
When you two are together you do have a type of “claim” (for lack of a better word) over each other. That being said you don’t have a claim over her history. Even if you both wanted to you just can’t. That shit has already happened. That ship has sailed, so long, bye bye. You two need to decide where to go from here.
Here is how I’d handle this type of situation. “Hey sugar tits we’re together right?”
“Of course!”
“Is there anything in your past I need to know about? And by that I mean have you shared needles, had unsafe sex with unsafe people, been cheated on, had a blood transfusion, fucked any of my friends/coworkers/family members, had an std or done porn? I don’t care about how many partners or what sex acts you did or didn’t do as long as it doesn’t meet that criteria.”
“Not to my knowledge. Why?”
“Look when we’re together we’re only with each other. If you want to bail at any time just let me know. I just want to know that we’re on the same page and that we are both healthy and safe. That being said lets both go get tested, I’ll pay for it. I don’t want to know you’re history as long as we’re both healthy.”
Course that’s just me cause I’m crazy afraid of herpes. I swear I get at least one stress herpes dream every 6 months.
Oh and after all this shit you should join some manly hobby or club. You are majoring in the minors and sound like somebody in middle/high school. I’m not a feminist, but come on man I think we can all agree women are worth more than just their virginity. They should be able to cook and clean too.
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I understood now what you meant. Thanks a lot for the advice . And thsnkyou everyone for your comments . You guys made me realize that I was being stupid and immature by letting this thing effect me . Now I am thinking this way - my girlfriend, in her past , fell in love with a guy who forced her to have sex with her . She was ready to marry that bastard , she was in love with him, but he was cheating on her . That’s why they broke up and after 2 years I came into her life. My girlfriend didn’t do anything wrong .She didn’t lie , she didn’t cheat ,all she did was loved him with all her heart. I have realized guys that I was being an idiot thinking about her past. Everyone has a past . It didn’t workout with that guy that’s why she is with me now and we are greatly in love. That’s all that matters. Your present and future. I will burn her past from my mind and not think about it ever again. Thanks a ton guys . I love these forums. We can share each others thoughts and help everyone. Thanks brothers for developing a positive mindset in me . Love you all.