So you feel stiffled in your ability to speak freely in the workplace.
Er, sorry I meant “you” because you are just sharing observations and things you’ve heard from other people. This isn’t you thinking or feeling these things.
I laughed at this hard enough that I screenshot it and sent it to my philosophy prof. Underrated exchange right there.
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Do spaghetti sammiches count? 'Cause I’ve gotten either funny looks or high fives for eating those.
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Hey thanks. Just so you know we’re not all a bunch of “chest thumpers”.
I graduated with a Finance degree in January of 2009 with a 3.8 after 7 semesters working 2 jobs the whole time. I did a few internships during college, one of which I ran a house painting business and made some pretty good cash.
So here I am thinking I’m about to get on the W2 train and make some good cash… nope. I ended up selling mini life insurance policies door to door in low income neighborhoods (projects and trailer parks). Then I sold bullets at gun shows on the weekend.
That still paid me more than the $35k entry level BS banks were offering, if you could get in.
Turns out by the time I did get into accounting/finance my ability to have tough conversations and solve problems I learned working with angry prospects made the corporate world easy mode by comparison. Graduating during the recession was a huge blessing in my life, it just didn’t feel like it at the time.
The way you tell your story about the great recession and women turning you down… you clearly have an external locus of control. These things happened to you, you didn’t happen to them.
That’s why very few people here have sympathy for complainers. We’ve all been through our own kind of pain.
There are only about 3 pro-card level athletes that post here that I can name off the top of my head stu, flipcollar and Alpha (before he got sick). Maybe @BrickHead got a card when he competed, I’m not sure. There’s two or three guys with 6 or 7 figure net worths, but not that many.
The point is we aren’t elite, we’re the exact middle class people who should be incensed by the “unfairness” of society towards men. But we’re not… that should tell you something.
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I like your post and agree, there is one thing I’d like to “fix”, however
Subtle perhaps, but also huge perhaps - depends on perspective. No disrespect intended
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exactly. maybe someone like @isdatnutty could chime in. I’ve been pretty consistent on this board with trying to be uplifting, not bragging. I don’t really need you guys to feel good about myself, lol. I’m already pretty self confident. For the most part, I talk about what I’ve achieved to demonstrate that the path I took works. And I talk about where I started to show that I wasn’t just born with great genetics for, say, lifting. Or growing a great beard… lol. But Nutty and many others have expressed their appreciation for the way I go about my business on here, and have told me directly that my story and my advice has influenced them in tremendously positive ways. I recognize that not everyone appreciates my posting style. And fortunately, I’m just one voice here. If my style/advice doesn’t resonate with you, it’s all good. That’s the benefit of open forums, you have many people contributing in their own ways.
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Pics please
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@Basement_Gainz
Again, for the 10000000x this isn’t really about me. This isn’t even about complaining or whining, because I did get the low paying bank job after about 3 months of looking, and I have never once had an issue getting women but that doesn’t mean I haven’t ran into those women, and the situations I speak about. I have.
How many more times do I have to repeat that? This is why I really do not need to hear other peoples advice, or life stories. I’m trying to speak about this in a broad cultural sense but it seem like no one cares to do that besides @BrickHead.
And like brick has pointed out, in the current climate even PHDs are having the same experiences we are speaking of. So this is definitely a CULTURAL ISSUE
For the love of god I can’t keep repeating this lol
Can I run gear for a cycle or two like everyone else first? haha. I"ve been natty, but I think it is time to run it…
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I’m very receptive to “tough love” and “hard coaching”. Your style might not be for everyone, but it is definitely great for me haha.
I don’t think it’s bragging at all. But sometimes when talking to people you have to let them know you know what the fuck you are talking about. I view it as giving your credentials or showing your portfolio. I think @flipcollar and I are some of the few members on here that show how far just working really fucking hard can take you.
Exactly. I came in as the object under discussion - a woman who by now has had time to become wrecked, a fat, haggard “pig” - and represented. But then I was told that I’m out-of-touch because I’m elderly. Okay, so I opened up about my life - job, kids - by way of informing as to my credentials to speak more broadly than myself. But then came the we-were-all-blessed-from-birth thing, which explained away our stories of changing and growing in order to meet our own goals, and offered that I was a high school dropout. No bueno! Now I’m chest-beating.
I addressed the “men don’t want women over 30” with my own contradictory experience. Also no bueno, only shows what a loser I am and allows for this:
Mmm-hmmm, opening my legs for thirsty guys, lol. You sure have a bead on me!
The point is about agency. Have it or do not, but I can tell you from my very long experience that generalizing about people and externalizing blame are fools’ games because a win here is an absolute loss. You get to be self-satisfied and smug, but you do not get to be happy.
I said this long ago to @BrickHead and his co-conspirators: you guys are equal-but-opposite to the bitter old feminists, who blamed all men for the actions of some. I was and am the equal-but-opposite to the men in here offering support of the women they know, who can be feminine and fun without being subjugated.
BTW, met my son’s new gf on Monday. She’s defending her master’s thesis next month, while he’s in a for-now job (nothing like he hoped upon graduation, but it’s paying the bills) (barely). They’re 25. She’s delightful, but so is he. “Just my observation.”
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Not gonna lie flip, took me a very long time to st used to your style. It’s now rare I disagree with or dislike your posts. You’ve helped a lot of people on this site.
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I’m not sure why you think anyone here asked for advice? Or some life coaching. I feel like that has been the majority of the responses. Being a fitness board I can see how this happens, everyone always thinks people are here for advice…
and I am, but not in this thread. I was simply commenting on what I believe were some cultural issues at large, I did not come in for advice on how to pick up women or to better myself in this regard.
The funniest part of all of it is the fact that the responses I got are exactly what I think is wrong with a lot of America and ‘dating’. People approach relationships now as a business contract, it is a value proposition first and foremost, but then brick suggesting arranged marriages was laughed at.
Co-conspirator?
All women? Does this include my wife, mother who has gone and still does go all out for me, great women throughout history, good female friends, co-workers, and acquaintances?
Subjugation?
I blame men primarily and generally for social devolution.
That sounds great.
GB @greenboy and I did offer personal experiences and observations, but we also are taking notice of trends greater than them.
Just to piggy back on this particular point about agency and happiness. In my limited experience, the people who I’ve encountered to seem to be the most tranquil with their circumstance tend to exercise their own agency as it relates to their life and their goals. People who tend to be more miserable do not and place blame on external factors (locus of control as touched on by @Basement_Gainz earlier).
Something I think @greenboy doesn’t think is worth considering. I could be wrong about that, but I haven’t seen him address this. He also conflates “culture” and “society” failing to acknowledge the variation of experience that is inherent in any one’s experience in a particular culture or society. matter of fact, now that I’m thinking about it, aren’t there various “sub-cultures” within any given “society”? Even controlling for age-groups, don’t different “sub-cultures” exist within the same “society”?
Just for added emphasis.
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You’ve failed to demonstrate that the trends you’re highlighting are:
- Actually happening
- cultural
- actually an issue.
You’ve clung tightly to your observations and your interpretation of them. So when people focus on what’s wrong with you… why are you confused?
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This has never been my experience in the dating world. It’s not the experience of my friends and family who are dating at the moment either. They seem to be having a lot of fun and have great SOs.
You live in a strange bubble my friend
You really only focus on the negative don’t you. I read some decent back and forth on this topic - you, on the other hand, suggest he was laughed at. Maybe by some, but not by all. You’re a weird guy with a seemingly myopic view of the world.
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Same.
Shouldn’t be a limiter really.
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I brought up the whole perspective issue before and was ignored for like 200 posts before getting a non-response, but just to reiterate…
No one should be shocked that someone in their late 30s in the dating world is observing many people in their late 30s ALSO in the dating world, and also, most likely, with issues that have made them precluded to being in more permanent relationships earlier in life. It stands to reason that, those who were prime to enter long term relationships earlier in life…entered those relationships.
“Where are all the women that can cook and take care of themselves in their 30s?!” They got married in their 20s.
To guys who, ALSO in their 20s, were good prospects for marriage.
“These are the things I’m observing!”
Well of course: look at your current position.
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I’ll take this. I think some just find my ideas odd, impractical, or archaic. There was some sarcasm but it wasn’t terrible. However I think I have been misinterpreted to a degree.
I think a discussion is interesting because of opposing ideas or views. I’ve taken in much of what has been said many. But I’m not gonna sit here and rip on people I don’t agree with.
I’ve brought up this point - his sample of observations has a self-selecting bias and is contributing to the disconnect throughout this conversation. You’re spot on.
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