Yup. I got married at 21. All the people I hang out with are married couples. In turn, they’re all pretty awesome folks. A few got divorces, and in those instances, “picking sides” was easy, because it was clear who was better off without the other.
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I’d imagine. I admit sometimes I get a bit lost in some of your posts. Others are just fine and make me think - which is the whole point.
I remember thinking you were contentious (this is years ago) - but I don’t really detect any contention in your posts or the way you express your ideas. Others might - I don’t.
Same.
I’m guilty of doing this - I usually don’t mean anything by it other than good natured ribbing. Sometimes I’m just being an asshole to make a point or emphasize some point or another - I know it can be (and usually is) counterproductive and have limited myself from doing it. What I post now is heavily edited from what I originally type out…
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There’s a woman (now in her early 50’s) I can think of that has the attitude of “Where are all of the good men…” and the only thing I could ever think of was “Running the other way!”.
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Regarding perspective, I think there’s a very important distinction between what I’ll call the majority opinion and the minority opinion. I think we all agree that life, the economy, the types of jobs available, the labor pool itself, education, etc… have all shifted over time. In many respects, they have shifted to benefit women at the detriment to men (there are plenty of ways the shift has helped men too). However, while we can all see and accept this, the majority seem to accept it and believes you should simply strive to overcome it where as the dissenting opinion seems to want to blame these changes on failures they’ve observed and then extrapolate that observation to the broader population.
You’re never going to bridge that gap in perspective.
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You talking about Charlize Theron?
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Can I just ask: since when was being able to cook and look after yourself a high bar? Aren’t these just some of the requirements for being a functional adult?
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This. I’m talking about you as I’ve known you over a long period @BrickHead, and I know you don’t remember it, I’ve brought it up before somewhat recently and you didn’t recall, but you actually invited me to Queens to fight you once, of all things. This was before Angry Chicken (and even Orion to some extent) softened. People grow and deepen. You have. I enjoy your perspective now because you’re not defensive or pugnacious.
But honestly, I’m here and engaging because even disagreeable perspectives interest me. I’m not even looking to “fix” @greenboy. I care about ideas, not random new posters who won’t post pics, but who mos’ def’ look like @flipcollar. lol
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She’s a total wackjob.
Definitely contentious in the past. An angry and moody dude too, IRL as well. That was an AWUL way to be. Thinking of it makes me embarrassed and guilty.
Yup.
However, given the questions I see from college kids and young adults, it’s no longer being met.
That said, going from living at home to being in the dorms with a meal plan to being married to a woman that could cook very well, I DID have a slight delay on learning how to cook, haha.
I’m truly sorry.
No, but close. Even deep into her 40’s this woman was scarey great looking.
Utterly hystrionic/borderline though, which was what drove any good men away, leaving mostly bums and users.
I wasn’t only contentious, I was truly suffering from mental illness, crippling depression and mood problems… Again, I’m sorry.
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Agreed, also his communication style has a self-selecting bias and is contributing to the disconnect throughout the conversation
This sort of terminology has a filtering/shielding effect, even if it may be driven by bad habit or fear rather than genuine hate. Not everyone will look past it, and I’m not saying anyone should
Then his reading style, hah. Filters for nothing other than the fallout from his communication style. I’m exaggerating, of course.
Seriously, no worries! I’ve been sub-optimal myself here and there, and I’m sure I provoked you.
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I latched onto this thread and only formed my thoughts and ideas expressed here out of empathy for other men and concern for children. I was miserable for nearly half my life. I don’t that for my children or anyone else’s.
I had a hard time in this highly and increasingly individualistic and atomized society we have here with all of its perverse and degenerative elements. I’ve seen it’s gotten worse. So I get sensitive when I see other decent men struggling for some of the most basic things. To me, all this talk and phenomena, alpha, THOT, beta orbiting, hookup culture, increasing drug use, lessening of wealth, lowering of social standards are all signs of a country going to hell. Hence I’ve observed these and can only take appropriate measures with my own family.
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I want to clarify my view on dating/relationships, because I know what I’ve said could be construed as what you’re describing.
My observations are essentially how I see things playing out in the real world, not how I look at dating on a personal level, or how I determine my attraction to a person or whether they’re the right girl for me. I know that being a better person in various ways attracts better mates, and have experienced this first-hand. But when I’m on a date, or dating someone, I have a handful of things I want to see/experience, and a few red flags that will make me say ‘nope, no way’. The red flag factor is big for me. A person can have everything I’m looking for, but if they’ve got that 1 thing I know I can’t live with, I won’t continue the relationship.
But back to what the dating world experience is actually like for me: on a date, particularly a first date, all I care about is enjoying myself, having good conversation and figuring out if I’m attracted to the other person’s personality. I want to see how we mesh. Presumably I’ve already decided they are physically attractive if I’ve asked them on a date already. I’ll also add that physical attractiveness past a point really has no bearing on my feelings towards a woman. Being ‘extra pretty’ doesn’t really get extra points in my book. It’s just not something I care all that much about.
If I enjoy the date, and I feel like there’s general compatibility, I want to explore more about the person on a second and third date, learn more about who the person is. So that’s when I’ll be more interested in what they do for work, whether or not they like their work, where they see themselves in 5-20 years, stuff like that. Intelligence, honesty, and sense of humor top my list, along with the desire to just be happy and not sweat the small stuff.
Anyway. The entire point of that is that I ACTUALLY approach dating as anything but a business contract. But I understand why the things I said would lead you to believe otherwise. I also believe that results of these types of interactions across a large sample size ends up with relatively predictable results. And that’s where the things I’ve described prior to this post come from. Why I generally expect a 5 to date a 5, etc.
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I was actually willing to let that one go… lol.
Man, I get that way when I think of my former self all those years ago. It’s a good thing, though. Means we’ve grown and our perspectives have matured and refined.
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This is a reasonable post from you, finally.
But I do not agree with the assertion that the shift to benefit women has had a benefit to men, as a whole. I do not see that at all. Very much the opposite.
Care to point out which benefits this has lead to for men?
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