On a handful of occassions, yes (most recently by carrying my best mate down & then up a flight of stairs when he did his back in)…I take it as a compliment as long it’s just a one off favour & not people taking the piss!
I genuinely assume I’m just going to help people move purely out of goodwill, primarily because the compensation that is normally offered is stuff I don’t tend to partake in. I don’t drink, so I don’t need a case of beer, and I rarely eat pizza. However, the past 2 times I’ve helped people move, I came out way ahead.
Had a buddy that got a short notice job re-assignment. Dude was a total foodie, and had a freezer full of good stuff that he just plain could not eat fast enough. I only moved a few things (to include like 3 smokers and 4 grills), and walked away with 6 ribeyes, 10 porkchops, a dozen sausages, some braised beef and a couple other goodies.
Other time, next door neighbor was moving out, hubby was away and she needed a few heavy things moved. I push my prowler and walk with the yoke through the neighborhood, so my neighbors know I lift heavy things and they’ll find me if they need help, so I got the call. Moved like a washer and dryer and maybe a couch, and she asks “Do you use protein powder? My husband bought some but never used it. Would you want it?”. Assuming we’re talking like a half used tub of Walmart special, I say “Sure”, because hey, free protein. She comes back with 30lbs of protein in various sized tubs of all different flavors. Apparently the dude went super hardcore into New Years, found some good deals, worked out for like 2 weeks and gave it all up. I still haven’t had to buy more protein since then.
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I’m a little surprised by this. I suppose not the work people, but being pissed at friends. Do you need the money?
Even the work stuff - I would view “oh, you love it” not as having to do with impressing anyone (is that why you lift?) but rather about their assumption that lifting and moving stuff is what you do with your leisure time, so must be something you like to do.
There’s always some sort of Wellness Program thing going on where I work, and I am always looked for to participate in anything having to do with steps if there’s a competitive element. Why? Because I run, and rack steps up like crazy doing it if I strap on a Fitbit - which I eventually bought for the purpose of participating in these things. My coworkers like the edge, I like being liked, and it helps ameliorate some of the negative stuff that comes with being the coworker who rarely participates in potluck lunches and who turns up her nose at grocery store birthday cakes.
I don’t need the money at all. Like I said, a nominal amount … $100 for doing a ton of work (like moving a house/apartment)… is nothing, and it doesn’t even cover my time. A truly good friend, it’s for free… maybe let’s say “associates” asking for help.
I helped my friend’s mom move… it took an entire weekend. Found out she was quoted $8k for professional move… we filled two full-sized rental trucks to the gills… that’s being taken advantage of.
Same if you have a truck… people are morons and think you can pack a house into the bed of a pickup or SUV. Sure, I’ll make 30 trips for you because you can’t spring for a Uhaul.
Being bigger & stronger than the average schmuck, doesn’t entitle anyone to take advantage of your time & kindness… trust me, you’ll learn very quickly after moving houses, loading for Powerlifting meets, strongman contests, etc. how much work it is.
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I’m the type of person that hates putting people out. I will not ask for help unless I absolutely need it. I’d rather shell the money out for movers or kill myself getting it done. If someone offers I might accept.
Conversely, I’m always being asked to help rip carpet up, move stuff, etc… I’ve gotten to the point where I flat out refuse to help anymore unless my CiC basically makes me…
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“Better ‘used’ than useless,” I always say.
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Okay, yeah, I see that. I don’t want to be the go-to alternative for someone too cheap to cough up for a professional.
Conversely, we’ve loaned our truck and trailer out a couple of times recently to good friends who needed to get their lawn tractor to and from the service place. Both times they filled the tank, and that felt awkward. They’re good friends - we don’t want to profit because they use $6 of gas and replace it with $26. Especially when the wife and another friend showed up with carloads of flowers for our backyard wedding last year, an incredible gift of both time and money.
It’s hard to navigate this stuff, I guess, in both directions. We get “joking” comments about people needing a tractor or backhoe, which we have, to dredge their pond, remove their cement whatever, grade their backyard, etc. The problem is that anything you’d fire up a piece of large equipment for is going to take at least a day, and of course we have our own fifty million projects to do. So we make awkward head movements and noncommittal grunts.
People filling the tank with gas, is exactly the type of gesture I expect. It’s respectful and shows you appreciate the help.
Those are good friends to have.
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Which is exactly why we don’t want their money!
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You agreed to do it though, right? Why? That doesn’t sound like you were being taken advantage of; it sounds like you were being too “nice” to say no.
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I’ve got a full size pickup and a big deadlift, so yeah I get the call quite a bit. Several people with cast-iron woodstoves at their camps sought me out one year.
For some time I’ve been the on-call strong guy to help my ex-gf and her many single gal friends move whatever needs to be moved. Attic clean-outs, moving from one place to another, I bought a new couch/new refrigerator, and other such scenarios. I never charge, but I do accept tips.
One of my finest moment was when my lifting partner and I pushed an old lady’s VW out of the mud in the gym parking lot when other, less-accomplished lifters failed. We strutted back into the gym like we had just squatted 700 pounds.
I live in Maine if anyone’s wondering why there are so many woodstoves and muddy gym parking lots in my life. We don’t always have nice things like heating systems and pavement.
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Not for being big or strong, cause I’m neither of those things, but definitely for just being an able bodied young man.
I don’t know how many times my mother roped me into helping her friends with some kind of physical chore, almost always for no compensation. For a good portion of it, I was younger so there wasn’t much protesting I could do, but after a while it was assumed that “Hey! XXX’s son and his friends will help!” and the call would go out. Any refusal to do the work was met with huffy mom frustration and her friends pitty party. I still don’t know why her friends are all 20 years older than her, physically broken and unhealthy, and all their kids are shit bags apparently.
Once I got to the age where I started actually building a life of my own I made it clear that my time was no longer free to those people. I of course will go to the world and back for my mom, but her friends have used up all their good-will allowance I could ever have for them. Living a couple hours away helps too.
Had no idea they were quoted for an $8k move. Nothing was boxed, yet everything was a “priceless heirloom”. Two 24-foot moving trucks, stacked to the top. She took her trees & bushes… no lie. I tossed a maple tree with a 200lb root ball into the back.
After that fiasco, I ask a lot of questions now. Shame on me for not planning on two packed trucks with dozens of shrubs and trees moved too.
Now I feel people out and ask them how much to move, what’s packed, moving supplies, what hand trucks they’re renting, number of rooms, appliance, furniture, everything. People’s laziness and/or lack of ever doing anything remotely physical becomes evident very quickly, then I can better decide to give up my time.
Definitely got burnt on that one!
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I make it incredibly clear to people that my only function is to move the heavy thing wherever I am told to move it. Too many times people expected me to be the tetris master that knew how to move a fully assembled treadmill through a doggie door. My brain doesn’t work that way. Brute force is my only solution.
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Jesus tapdancing Christ man, you had me at trees and bushes. That’s ridiculous.
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My best friend’s ex-husband once asked, after taking my snow tires off to store them in his shop, “How did I wind up with two ex-wives?” It was pretty funny.
I live in your general neck of the woods, and things are different in this area, I think. There’s a lot more interdependence.
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I’ve been called to help move things countless times and usually I’m perfectly happy to help. No strings attached. I enjoy moving things and usually the people that ask me are friends and family so I enjoy spending time with them as well. We have fun, laugh, and carry stuff. Good times all around. The only time I get upset when helping people move though is when I show up and nothing is packed. Not that I mind helping them pack either, but don’t ask me to move you if you meant pack. Two very different tasks taking up much different portions of time.
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After reading this thread, I must look like I lift even less than I realized.
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