Keeping fingers crossed here for you on the job front…
Nice work with sheiko and nice last session
just for the record-
I Love Lucy defined how we shoot multiple camera TV
while not the first to shoot that way- it was the most influential
to how we still work today.
most of the vocabulary came from Her DP Karl Freund
Thanks, KM. Figures - one of the classic comedy shows with funny lines and you remember the camera work. That’s a DP for you.
One of my friends in Hollywood was a DP and he was a little bit crazed. Only person who ever insisted I teach him how to write software. This guy wanted to learn everything in the world.
The show also defined syndication schedules, that’s where they cleaned up, in reruns. Networks learned to sign stars to multi-year contracts, they made the mistake of re-negotiating with Lucy every single year and it ate them alive.
Good luck with the J-O-B cav.
Good news Cav.
Job front is still screwed up. Working on it . . .
Went to the gym for a light workout for a change from the Sheiko. Lost the 3 pounds over the weekend, will just have to eat even harder to make it up.
Concentrated on arms since didn’t do much with them directly for the past month. Every single set was agony. Even the beginning, light warm ups were just punishing. Body just didn’t want to move. I had to force it, force the arm curls and pulldowns and whatnot. Got something of a pump, but just torture.
Finally got done, left the gym, got to the car, and just burst into tears, felt so awful.
Hang tough.
I cried p.l.e.n.t.y in the wrestling room in college.
when I felt I wasn’t doing enough or getting anywhere.
then after a while I realized that being in the room
was kind of doing allot.
You cant see the top without the bottom as a bench mark
nice work on finishing a training session that you hated.
nice work indeed.
Sorry to hear that man. Hang in there.
[quote]cavalier wrote:
Finally got done, left the gym, got to the car, and just burst into tears, felt so awful.[/quote]
I worry about you sometimes Cav and the things you say.
I hope you’re just exaggerating a bit.
In having to catch up on some 6 pages of your log… I noted weights moving slowly and steadily upwards across the board. And yet your mood is headed downwards. Clearly it’s the job stress, because in the weight room you are doing FINE!
I think you should be pleased with yourself, quite frankly.
For what it’s worth I remember not being able to OH press the bare bar… or bench the bare bar… or SQUAT the bare bar… it’s humbling. Scratch that, it’s humiliating. But if I used to that to justify quitting I’d have never overcome it.
[quote]Canada_K wrote:
I
For what it’s worth I remember not being able to OH press the bare bar… or bench the bare bar… or SQUAT the bare bar… it’s humbling. Scratch that, it’s humiliating. But if I used to that to justify quitting I’d have never overcome it.[/quote]
I thought it was just me and not being able to get the bare bar overhead in the ohp–damn but that thing still feels heavy in the overhead !!
What happens next with the sheiko cav ?
Made an appointment to see a psychologist. I don’t like spending the money when out of work, and without insurance it all comes out of my pocket, but I’m just falling apart.
KM, I would love to hear more about your hard times, you may PM if you wish.
DJS, if I didn’t have industrial strength impulse control, I would have cut my wrists long ago, so I’ll hang in there.
Brett, there weren’t much tears, but plenty of sobbing, otherwise no exaggerating. It’s frustrating, sometimes I feel that there’s a huge gap between me and people like you. You find it hard to understand what I go through, but I find it hard to understand others. How can anyone not have the same agony, the same strain, the same shaking with heaves from pushing iron? Can I ever reach the same level others enjoy?
Kent, I appreciate your attaboy.
Nurse, not sure what’s next. I’m stressed, should take time to check my max lifts. Suppose I should go ahead with the next Sheiko cycle when all looks good.
Did more misc stuff today. More arm work, not as brutal as Tues.
Rotator cuff, oddly easy, even fun! Is that what it feels like for normal people?
Shoulder work, very painful.
Will be seeing the shrink Tuesday. Hopeful.
Had a light workout. the 3 lifts but about half what I guess to be maxes: squat 95, bench 95, deadlift 155. Felt pretty easy, actually, lots of control. Really felt good. Will try maxes in a couple of days, want to be sure I’ve recovered.
It’s as if something snapped in me and gave me a good, strong feeling workout. Actually enjoyed the workout, didn’t want it to end. Keep getting bits of heart arythmia, which feels like anxiety but isn’t.
If anyone wants to post, go right ahead. I don’t bite.
[quote]cavalier wrote:
It’s as if something snapped in me and gave me a good, strong feeling workout. Actually enjoyed the workout, didn’t want it to end. [/quote]
These are the best. Walk in the gym feeling like shit and walk out feeling lighter than air and hopeful.
Curious to see where your maxes are these days. Will you test all three lifts on the same day? And what’s your methodology for testing your maxes?
Nice work!!
nothing I cant write here cav-
being exhausted and never feeling like I was getting anywhere
just having a haze of doubt hanging over me
and basically realizing that I was getting outclassed every day
I eventually figured out only I could make any changes that could help
so I worked all the harder and it started to make me feel good.
Yeah, guess I’ll try them on the same day, as if I were at a meet. Not wearing a singlet or anything. I dunno, just warm up some, then start doing singles, add 10 or 20 lbs each time, see when I croak. Didn’t have anything fancy in mind.
Glad to be feeling good, but really tired of moods bouncing around like a yoyo.
[quote]cavalier wrote:
Will be seeing the shrink Tuesday. Hopeful.
Had a light workout. the 3 lifts but about half what I guess to be maxes: squat 95, bench 95, deadlift 155. Felt pretty easy, actually, lots of control. Really felt good. Will try maxes in a couple of days, want to be sure I’ve recovered.
It’s as if something snapped in me and gave me a good, strong feeling workout. Actually enjoyed the workout, didn’t want it to end. Keep getting bits of heart arythmia, which feels like anxiety but isn’t.
If anyone wants to post, go right ahead. I don’t bite.[/quote]
Cav.
I am just beginning to learn that one day i can have a really nice,strong and in control workout and go home (or to work) on top of the world ,then the very next day it just won’t happen or as happenned this week hurt myself during a session and feel miserable for days !.
A whole new aspect openmed up when i went and had a session that seemed to be fuelled by total anger–(work related) …completely out of context, almost hard to describe but pacing around the gym like a caged animal and trying for (for me) much higher weights than i would do normally.
Today…feeling ‘normal’ again.
One thing i have found that is still a massively calming influence is to get outside in the open air, walk some miles …sit under a tree etc…all seem to keep things in perspective.
(just about to go through a huge organistional change here where i suspect we will end up with even more responsibility …which is the background to all this)
Phone interview for job today. Think I answered every question right, will see.
Took a stroll through a nearby park. Been getting some decent weather for a change.
Went to the shrink. he seems sensible. He mentioned some anecdotal evidence that fish oil helps mood swings, so I’ll up my dosage.
Tested my maxes.
Squat
95 x 3
115 x 3
135 x 3 . x 1
155 x 1
175 x 1 . most I’ve ever done going low
185 x 1 . * * * PR * * *
190 x 0 . got low and kept going. And that kids is why we use the rack.
Going low doesn’t seem to be much of a problem, surprising how it kept biting me a few months ago. Felt pretty good - then I did bench.
95 x 3
135 x 2 . x 1
155 x 1
165 x 1 . this was so slow, had to spit “No! No!” to the spotter.
170 x 0
All that bench work, arm work, chest work, and not ONE GODDAMN particle of gain. Was so pissed, I just pounded away on more until exhausted:
135 x 4 . x 4 . x 4 . x 4 . x 4
Deadlift
135 x 2
185 x 2
225 x 1 . x 1
255 x 1
285 x 1 . damn, this was hard. was still angry, yet could barely get it up. thought I wouldn’t get any PR. Loaded up 305, thought “what the hell”. Then a friend noticed I was “going for it” and urged me on.
305 x 1 . * * * PR * * *
I’ll be damned. With his “You can do it, easy!”, the thing just came right up. A full, legal lift. There’s my problem, I need a cheering section.
Nice job on the deadlift PR!
…your story leads me to think -could something as simple as your not having enough human contact on a daily basis be a cause of some of your darker moods?
And I’m a big believer that a walk in the sun (how’s your Vit. D intake?), through greenery, with a smell of the flowers, fresh breeze etc. is a huge mood elevator. I know it is for me.