You know, I was actually with you for the first couple of sentences, because although I do not fully agree, it was pretty much the most mature and reasonable thing I’ve seen you write on this site.
…which is your personal experience, and not “empirical evidence” at all. And that’s fine - we all have to reply on our personal experience at times. It’s hard to get good empirical data to answer a lot of questions. We have to make decisions every day that are not informed by data.
I simply suggest that when someone else outside your circle - say, on an internet forum - posts that they have had a different experience, you consider that maybe the world is wider than your personal experience.
My marriage is relatively young (three years), but both sets of my grandparents were married for 60+ years (my paternal grandparents are both still living, and married); my own parents are 30+ years in; my wife’s parents are 30+ years in; so I’ve been directly exposed to plenty of “happy” marriages that have lasted plenty long.
At the same time, I recognize that this is not fully representative of the world; several of my closest friends in high school were raised by parents that either had some form of marital troubles, and in several cases, ended in divorce. Three of my very close high-school football teammates had divorced parents; my wife’s childhood best friend was married and divorced within a year and is currently a single mother.
The difference between you and me seems to be that I can appreciate a variety of experiences and acknowledge that both men and women exist along a spectrum, while you are prone to bold generalizations that all women are mentally and emotionally defective creatures without applying that same critical lens to men. Your working assumption in several threads on this very site is that women are responsible for the majority of, if not all, relationship troubles. Then, you say shit like this:
…and you go right back into the abyss.
First, if “submissiveness” works for some people, it’s not for me to judge - people should do whatever works for them in a relationship.
Second, it’s total clownishness for you to think a man has to be “submissive” to a woman for a long-term relationship to work. There’s a difference between being “submissive” and “viewing your spouse as an equal partner in your relationship.”
You know why people on these forums toss the word incel at you repeatedly? Because this is the way incels talk, dude! Any husband that does something because his wife asks is a beta cuck that’s just not ALPHA enough to control his woman. GTFO, dude.
“The man must submit to the woman in order for the marriage to stay functional” - why, because I cut the lawn and take the garbage out while she cleans the bathroom floors and scrubs the shower? We’re equal partners. We share in the responsibilities of maintaining a household, generally playing to our respective strengths. The fact that you view any compromise or concession from the male to the female as being “submissive” speaks volumes about how you view men in comparison to women, and answers the question about why people on this forum use the term incel in conversation with you. If, in your world, you think a male doing 30 percent of the household chores (leaving the wife to do the remaining 70 percent) is “submissive” for doing so, there’s your problem, mate.
This is ridiculous and not grounded in reality. The vast majority of upper level management positions, full professorships, etc are still held by men. The fact that women are creeping ever so slowly closer to equality doesn’t mean that men wield less power in today’s society than women.
That’s not to say every hardline feminist cause is appropriate or just; some are clearly silly and/or exaggerated, and everyone (male and female alike) should strive to separate real injustice from fake injustice. But it’s a reaction to millennia of women being treated as less than equals. It shouldn’t really be that surprising.