I finished my degree and moved out of state to take a very tempting job offer. Problem is, I know nobody anymore.
Being by myself, I feel odd walking into a bar or pub - even if to hit up all the honeys there. I’m used to having a couple buddies when I go out.
So here we go. I’m curious if you guys feel awkward hitting the bars/clubs by yourselves. It’s gonna be a frustrating time until I establish a new group of friends around here.
I hate it, but it’s not too hard meeting new people - expecially where they are getting drunk.
I moved to London less than a year ago and I’ve been staying with a friend but I’m planning on moving out next month - to a houseshare - otherwise I’d probably kill myself living alone.
I did it all the time before I met my current girlfriend. I actually found that I preferred it that way. I could go where I want, leave when I wanted, leave with who I wanted, etc.
It’s all about confidence man. If you are confident, the ladies will be able to tell. If you are not confident, they won’t give you the time of day. Have fun man…
I agree with Randman, I enjoy it. I do it all the time, it’s all about confidence. You don’t have to wait for anyone, listen to anyone, etc. You should try it, you’ll be just fine. It’s actually pretty fun.
Since you’re gonna be starting a new job, you’ll meet new people who you can hang out with, then they’ll introduce you to their friends, and then pretty soon you’re back in the loop. No sweat.
Wow, thanks for the feedback! It’s great help.
dude just join a boxing gym and make some friends there. or a gymnastics club. Or a BJJ gym. there are lots of cool places to meet people that aren’t bars.
I am likely a huge pussy but I hate the smoke and the obnoxious music at bars.
-chris
Ha. I guess I am more of a social animal, but I hate going to bars by myself. This might be because when I go there I just get hammered and feel like a drunk for doing it alone, but whatever.
You’ll meet folks through your job, etc. It’s hard to meet people randomly when you’re by yourself, but if you know some people you’ll be OK.
When you were a kid, making a friend was as simple as “Hey, my name is Brock, let’s be friends”, as you get older, for reasons unknown, it seems to get more complicated, but at the end of the day, it usually isn’t, at least not substantially so.
In fact, just last week I was approached by someone at the bar who sat down next to me and said “hey, I’m from out of the country and I don’t know anyone, let’s be friends”. We chatted for about half an hour about our homelands and traveling and the likes, exchanged contact information, and well, we haven’t gotten in touch since, but that’s almost irrelevant really.
You’d have to be a real dick to tell someone like that to sod off, but even then, someone that is going to be so direct about making new friends, won’t let that get them down, and in the end they win.
i dont know if you are good looking or not, and im sure that plays a big role in metting girls. for me, smilling or laughing at funny stuff makes you seem more approachable. it totally works for me. not creepy, sitting in the corner laughing to myself, but look like you are having a good time. usually after a few beers i can loosen up enough to not care to much.
look like you have a sence of humor and a good personality. pretend hard enough and it will be true.
p.s. confident not cocky or too foreward. i almost never approach a girl unless she is begging me with her eyes.
flirt,
when she looks at you. look away like you’re embarrassed and smile to yourself like you know you got caught. if you keep catching her looking at you, hold her eyes for a few seconds and smile. then look away.
this works for me. its not how i make friends, it’s how i meet girls.
just talk to people to make freinds.
i just spent 2 months in thailand and barely spoke any thai, every night i made freinds with tons of guys and “flirted” with girls.
Is there anyone at work you could hit up to go out and get a drink afterwards? It takes a lot of guts to move somewhere where you don’t know anyone… kudos for that 
and confidence is a big turn on.
[quote]cesliwakan wrote:
i dont know if you are good looking or not, and im sure that plays a big role in metting girls. for me, smilling or laughing at funny stuff makes you seem more approachable…look like you are having a good time…look like you have a sence of humor and a good personality…[/quote]
Then, on the other hand…Always keep your wits about you…Watch for the guy/group that is watching you make time: and hating you for it…These are the “sucker punchers” or one’s who will hit you from behind/ratpack you in the parking lot…
Don’t let the booze dull your senses or give you “bottle courage”, always be prepared to defend yourself(and remember, they likely know that girl you are pickin’ up and are resentful they never got action from her, then see you turn up and score?)
Stay alert and you will generally ward off any bad mojo. (Trust me, I’ve been there-done that where I was a target simply for existing, domestic and international, and survived)…Better safe than sorry…
It’s much easier to pick up girls alone, in any occasion. Wingmen are hard to control whereas if you are alone:
1)You will appear more confident just because you go out by yourself
2)You don’t risk that your wingmen makes you look like a fool
3)You can do what you want, go away when you want, etc etc as many others have said
It is ok to go to bars by yourself if you are a guy – not so good if you are a woman. If you were sitting alone at the bar or standing alone and didn’t look too pathetic, I would talk to you. Hey, going out alone is a lot better than staying in alone…especially if you’re a cheap date.
I have no idea where the “you look confident if you go out by yourself” thing is coming from. I unfortunately worked in a bar for 3 years and it was the general consensus there among the employees both male and female that people that came in by themselves were on the creepy side. I also never once saw a guy come in by himself and leave with a woman.
Going out to bars and the like by yourself just makes you look weird. And do you really want to meet women in bars? If you’re looking for random sex that is probably the place to be, but if you’re looking for a relationship, that is a horrible place to start one.
“smoke by myself, drink by myself, cut these hoes by my god damn self”
[quote]Rah-Knee wrote:
I have no idea where the “you look confident if you go out by yourself” thing is coming from. I unfortunately worked in a bar for 3 years and it was the general consensus there among the employees both male and female that people that came in by themselves were on the creepy side. I also never once saw a guy come in by himself and leave with a woman.
Going out to bars and the like by yourself just makes you look weird. And do you really want to meet women in bars? If you’re looking for random sex that is probably the place to be, but if you’re looking for a relationship, that is a horrible place to start one.[/quote]
that’s what I’m saying.
I’d be bored. And women wonder why you have no friends.
Only guys I know that do that are the ones who go to get drunk, not get women.
I bartend at a neighberhood bar and don’t think it’s that bad to go out by yourself. not sure how to really say it but once you ahev gone to a bar a couple of times or have gone for happy hour to grap a bite and a beer it’s not that akward to go in
on a night like fri or sat or any night. the thing is you should get to know the bartenders and just bullshit with them. During happy hour I usually BS with the Bar guests, I usually get a conversation going between them. If the bartender likes you he will throw you into conversations with people. I have definately set up a few guys and have started many conversations between bar guests. maybe that’s just me though.
BB
I guess it all depends on the bar you’re going to and why you’re going.
If you’re going just to hang out, meet some people, and have some fun, neighborhood bars are a good place to start. Places like this usually have regulars and are a favorite of people who just want to kick back and have a few drinks after work. It’s usually a very laid back environment and easy to meet new people. Of course you have to find the bar that caters to the kind of people you would feel comfortable with and like to hang out with.
If you’re going to meet chicks, find the college bars, especially if you are just looking to hook up. College girls give up ass like the Gideons give out bibles. You don’t even have to admit to being alone. Just make up a story about meeting your friends later or that they already left – whatever.
Now if you’re actually trying to find real friends, that may take more time and more searching than in a bar.