At about 25 years of age I realized that my parents were smarter than all my friends.
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I mean, sure… more skin is good, and as a straight man complaining would be a bit silly. It just makes me feel a bit sad for society and these young girls that feel the need to do it. I live in Wales, it’s February, and the gym is air-conditioned. Coming to the gym wearing more makeup than the thickness of their clothes and showing their slits to the whole world unphased just makes me feel a little… “What went wrong?”.
I feel a little cautious even saying this because in the name of freedom they can do whatever the hell they want. I dunno, it just makes me feel a little sorry for them. I understand it might make them feel good and the attention makes them feel confident, it’s just a very, very different world to the one I grew up in.
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My parents were “very strict” in some ways, especially when it came to academics but were extremely loose when it came to things like dress code.
On the academic side, I realised around third grade that our incentives were very much aligned so I never bothered to rebel. I never wanted to do less than the best, never wanted to get a boyfriend or watch tv on weekdays or sleep past bedtime. The one area where I did was when it came to maths. Parents gave in and I regret it deeply.
I actually think THEY regret focusing so much on academics now that I’m always done with uni and still put academics above all else
My parents are far from perfect and did make actual mistakes (e.g. not letting me lift bc it’s “unfeminine” or forcing me to play an instrument) but it came from a good place and they changed their views once evidence was presented.
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You guys found one. Straight man here. Don’t like it. Generally, I consider it rude, annoying, and indecent in some settings and I don’t think it’s done to “feel good about themselves”.
Younger me didn’t mind much.
Obviously I Ike both of you and I’m not saying this to be antagonistic.
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Every bully I knew had a shitty home life, and anytime I knew of pushback when it came time for punishment it was always from the parents, not the kids.
Personally, I’d direct my anger towards the parents over the kid.
Can still affect the kid though. I knew of one family who got sued, the dad went broke and started drinking more and beating his kid. So the bully still ended worse off than the kid he picked on.
But if i get swole enough, dad might finally come home with those cigarettes he’s been looking for
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I was being more cheeky than anything. Most of them don’t realize that what most of them are trying to attract will look down on this behavior or look at them as a cheap carnival ride.
When it comes to my children, everybody is getting the smoke.
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I’ve personally never been hit on, nor have I went after other chicks. My gym has a pretty young demographic around my age 18-25. Never really had an interest even when I was still single.
Plenty have come up to me to ask me for a spot, that’s usually where the bulk of my conversation lies. I’ve never taken it any further in those interactions other than expressing curiosity on what they’re training for, nutrition etc.
Considering the whole situation or culture, I don’t like it either. But it’s still female skin. I can’t really explain it, it feels like their scantily clad presence is candid and dirty but IT’S RIGHT THERE and they don’t mind and walk about like it’s normal. It feels like I and all the other guys shouldn’t be there.
Why do it then? I don’t believe it’s for comfort. There are plenty of girls able to wear similar things but not as revealing. 90% of the time all this activewear is absolutely fine, but for some girls, some of this stuff is clearly inappropriate and they have to be aware of it.
Although maybe this all means nothing because sometimes mid bulk my t-shirt is too tight with my nipples sticking out like I’m smuggling peanuts, and my crack might peak out whilst squatting as my shorts creep down. 
Why is that? Many young bullies are mean spirited and violent and they know exactly what they’re doing. They also like what they do: hurting people.
How young of bullies are you referring to?
The biggest bully I knew of, who has since changed his ways, was extremely violent in his teenage years. In his late teens I saw him scream at a guy walking from behind, “you got a f— problem?!” and then punched him in the back of the head. In another incident that I didn’t witness but heard of, an innocent smaller kid, pleaded, with his hands out, “I don’t wanna fight you,” only to be met with a punch to the face.
These incidents could’ve resulted in death.
Yet another time, though older by then, he commanded his former, chubby, less physically-capable friend to get on his knees and bow down before him in front of a Manhattan bar. Now that is scary and humiliating.
Some might ask, “why would someone allow himself to be cowed like that? Why not fight back?” Well, against this 6’2” raging brute with hand skills, most men wouldn’t win, especially considering he was usually with his violently inclined buddies who wouldn’t let someone win.
I recently saw footage of a bully strangling a young boy on a school bus. The blame is on squarely on that bully, regardless of a possibly trashy parent. Plenty of such horrifying footage is on the net. I don’t know if I could control myself if I saw one of my kids in such a position.
Are you talking of bullying with words only? What age we talking about?
It is true that bullying and being bullied are linked with poor parenting. But I’ve concluded that in some, perhaps many, cases, bullies and other shitbags are so, not because of their parents, but because they are like their parents. That is, some people are born shitbags.
Perhaps this belongs in the fatherhood thread if anyone wants to talk about bullying to avoid thread derailment.
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Manipulation, attention and favor mongering, power over social situations, shock.
I’ll add competition with other women. @cdep89
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I believe that all of those things combine to make them feel better about themselves.
The shock ones interesting. Being completely self-aware whilst still doing it anyway. I’ve heard girls in there boasting about having threesomes before with zero decorum. This world man. Pfft.
You mean the manipulation and attention and favor mongering makes them feel better? I suppose so, and that says something about such people.
My friend and I have noticed women who dress provocatively at the gym and out and about usually have stank faces. They look unwelcoming and angry.
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Diming in on the bullying stuff. Of course this is age dependent, but sometimes it’s not because of the parents or because they’re a shitbag. Sometimes empathy just isn’t an emotion their brains can comprehend yet.
Quite a few people I grew up with did things they aren’t proud of in their younger days, but many grew out of it by the time they got to college. Many of us may have been inconsiderate of other people’s feelings be it through violence or perhaps not treating the opposite sex as well as we could have done. When I was an early teen I was still figuring all this stuff out and made a ton of mistakes. Even I likely had moments of “bullying” other people without realizing it as I was just doing my best to fit in. I still feel bad about a couple of things and they weren’t even too terrible.
Some people though. Yes. Some people are just shitbags.
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I guess when I hear the word “bully,” I assume we’re talking about “kids,” who are probably under the age of…13? Once you’re over the age I stop thinking parents are going to have much role in things. I’ll intervene when my kid is 9, but when he’s 15? I’m sorry but that’s up to him.
You mentioned someone in their late teens. I would just consider that person a violent psycho - whether they’re 16 or 20, at that age it’s less of a “bullying” issue in my mind and more just a shitty person treating people badly.
Basically, I tend to associate bullies with children. Not older people. Does that make sense?
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WRT women’s shorts: I’ve had a harder and harder time finding shorts that aren’t booty shorts, but also are not the length of bike shorts. Most marketing seems to be the booty short style for women’s lifting shorts. I wouldn’t have an issue with that style (and per reviews folks seem to find them comfortable to work out in), except I go to gyms on base where I’m essentially still in a work environment and that’s a bit close to the line for me personally.
That being said, I’ve heard friends say they would never even work out in a tanktop on base because they worry it would be viewed in a derogatory way, which to me is insane.
Ultimately folks should wear what they’re comfortable with of course.
Also - women wearing whatever they’re wearing may very well be more for themselves than part of any mating ritual. I realize this is vain, but I dont think it’s an abnormal viewpoint for gym goers either - I like wearing tanktops to see my arm muscles working during workouts. I like seeing my legs working in tights. I could care less if anyone else in the gym is looking at me - it makes me feel stronger and like I’m making progress. Some ladies may be dressing a certain way to attract attention, but just as many may be doing so because it makes them feel good personally.
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Ah, the eternal debate! Has got more heated now that more ladies are in the weights room. Something we only dreamt of 20+ years ago 
Mind you can be annoying…this very morning, getting my 6:30am w/o done, and this ridiculously lovely lady is blaring her loud Eminem music out full blast whilst dominating the air bike and hogging the kettlebells, whilst I am trying to get my Zen on during my olympic lifting session (and trying to listen to classical music).
Problem was, I was at my home gym and said lady was my wife, who is rocking better abs than me
Time was when the weights rooms was a man-cave
Kidding aside, I actually like youngsters going about their selfies and flirting in the gym…got to do it somewhere after all!
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Something I’ve been wondering about is what is the standard for men? Is there any? From what I’ve seen, women seem to disprove of other women having “camel toe”. I haven’t really heard any standards regarding men’s modesty.
For example, is it okay to wear something like sweatpants / athletic shorts to the gym?
I guess I just don’t know what is socially acceptable here. Do men just get a pass?
I get that, 100%. Do you not think there is a difference between that and having vulvas on display like an A-Board in the center of a movie theatre’s steps though? I’m not talking about the casual slip which can happen to anyone.
If in the light colors at the tightness that some of these girls wear, I think people would consider it indecent exposure or perverted.
I mean, sure… A bit shows when a girl is benching or a guy is doing some elaborate stretches. That’s fine and natural. The levels some go to though, I find it hard to imagine a situation where a girl puts her new shorts on, can see the obvious squish mitten indent, pulling it up tighter to the point it’s unavoidable and thinking “Okay let’s go!” as they walk into a room full of other people. It must happen though - there’s just no way it’s an accident with some of these girls because it’s all the time, how can they be unaware?
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