The last commercial gym I went to the ladies seem to get done up like they’re going on, plus where the shortest and tightest clothing possible. And they expect to NOT attract attention? I think they’re looking for attention, but publicly get pissed and virtue signal. Thank God I have a home gym and no reason to go back into a regular gym.
I’ll talk with some of the women, but I wouldn’t call it flirting. Mostly training related stuff.
We have a guy at the gym that is around 50, and flirts with all the good looking women. He is also not very good at reading women. It can be almost painful watching him. I’ll joke to my buddies that they are getting a reputation of being then next version of that guy.
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I am in and out kinda guy…hit the weights and then go on my merry way
I dont like disturbing anyone when they are working out
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When I was younger I went to the local YMCA. There was a young guy there, my age at the time, that would hit on EVERY hot young lady in the gym. It was cringe worthy and he was not an attractive man. I asked him about it one day and he politely said he’s aware and its a numbers game. Know what? I saw him later with some hot as hell young women on a date. Guess I shouldn’t knock it.
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Some may think it’s creepy and needy doing it that much, but getting over a fear of rejection is super admirable. As long as he knew that no means no and he wouldn’t hassle anyone, then he has my respect.
insert Wayne Gretzky quote
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Same. I mind my business and listen to my music.
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Last time we polled this topic on T Nation Instagram, quite a few people talked about meeting their spouses at the gym. That’s why I don’t love the “I’m only there to TRAIN!” mentality.
I met some great friends at the gym. When I was single, I dated some nice women I met at the gym… and a nutter or two.
Yes, TRAIN, but you don’t have to be a social leper about it. My guess is that many of these guys just have the personalities of doorknobs to begin with, so the “I don’t even SEE other people at the gym I’m so dedicated and superior!” act just plays into it well. < Mainly the single dudes who put on that show. May not apply to married guys not looking to score, but even we can be friendly.
Funny thing is, it’s often the person in the gym that looks the meanest, scariest, or least social who’s the friendliest if you’re open to a little small talk between sets or in the locker room. One of by best friends is a big ex-military guy covered in tats. I assumed he was a D-bag until we talked. Honestly, Dani probably made the introduction since she just might be the world’s friendliest person. She’s also more jacked than most of the “eyes down, all business” gym dudes who are afraid to be friendly because they might accidentally rest longer than their evidence-based 1.14 rest period rule.
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Yeah, some pathetic stuff out there these days. But we need to remember that these are “mice with microphones” – a tiny minority of broken people with an audience, not most folks at the gym.
But I get it. Had this discussion with my wife recently. Saw a woman at the gym putting up some impressively heavy reps on the bench press. Wanted to tell her that she was kicking ass and it was impressive. Couldn’t do it because I started thinking about those TikTokTwats looking to frame men for even glancing their way.
Sad, really. I’m sure she would’ve been complemented that someone noticed her hard work.
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Bonus creeper points if he’s one of those guys who finds a way to casually touch the women he’s talking to.
I had a moment like this the other day.
Lady was squatting what appeared to be 1.5xBW or maybe a bit over. I view this to be an achievement equivalent to a man squatting 2xBW, which is fist-bump worthy. Wanted to congradulate her, but didn’t want to end up someone’s social media laugh.
The literal next day, there was a heavy-set dude squatting 4.5 plates (most I ever squatted was 4 plates) and I was concerned he was going to drop it, so I watched nearby. He hit depth and came back up - just needed a hand re-racking it. I helped, then congradulated him on squatting some heavy ass weight. Turns out he needed a spotter for his next set (5 plates) and I was there to help.
^had it been a female squatting some crazy weight, I’m genuinely not sure if I’d offer to help. Not because I wouldn’t want to help, but because I’m not trying to be the butt end of a stunt to fuel their OnlyFans page.
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I’ve spotted women on the squat a few times. Sometimes I am just one of the stronger guys at the gym, and pretty much everybody knows me, so I am asked to do it. Boy is that uncomfortable.
On one occasion this lady who is pretty strong was going for around a 350 lb squat. She missed it, and because I did not want to grab her chest I went lower (kinda upper stomach). That was a mistake. She rounded over when I lifted there. We got the bar back up, and I am glad she didn’t get hurt, but it was a terrible spot.
To my surprise a few weeks later I was asked to spot again. I was told “grab me by the tits if this goes poorly”. It went well that time, but I think having that understanding of what is necessary in the situation before hand is important to avoid what happened the first time. It became a bit of a joke at the gym, and her friends have said it too when I’ve spotted for them. Still feel uncomfortable spotting women though.
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Been there too. One of my wife’s more attractive friends asked me for a spot. Just glad I didn’t need to help 
Crazy that once people see you squatting 4 plates that suddenly everyone wants you to spot them or critique their form.
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I hear you and I feel the same way at work on certain topics.
Social Media has really made our world toxic. We’d be so much better without it.
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Polite to a fault. I understand the hesitation, but you just need to have a short conversation before her attempt, explaining how she would like the assist. If she had been spotted previously when she failed, she would know the spotter needed to helping her closer to the bar.
That gets us to the hesitation to offer assistance at all. I would be seeing how easily she is handling the weight and gain an idea where she would be approaching her limit. If she were squatting in a rack with safety racks, I might not offer any assistance. But I would take time to compliment her effort and go back to my training. Without safety rack I would offer if she would like.
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I agree. A bit off-topic, but I can barely stand to watch any social media-type fitness stuff these days.
Everything is just a copy of a bad joke.
POV: You’re going for a PR and your headphones fail = miss lift
Sitting on the guys face or whatever not realizing he’s on the bench.
Staged setup cringe boy/girl vids.
Multiple variations of the same stuff, over and over.
It makes the fitness community look like morons when really it’s just gen Z being attention-seeking and it really has very little to do with fitness. It just so happens to be in a gym, but the actual fitness part of it isn’t relevant.
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Been to the midwest haha?
Normally I do this. At least with my gym buds. I’ll usually just offer to grab another buddy for a squat spot. Side spots are just less weird.
Spotting is something that many people have a preference on. Especially on the bench. I once didn’t specify in a powerlifting meet, and this big dude pretty much lifted me off the bench haha. I lost my shoulder position and the lift.
Oh for sure, if not time limited my own gym sessions often take 30-45mins longer than they could have because I’ve met such an amazingly diverse group of people I wouldn’t have met otherwise in there. From really good friends, to clients, to people that have helped me with certain things. My “getting the work done and then leaving” comment is more akin to the people that don’t even seem to be there to train. It’s like the kids at McDonalds that hang around and then occasionally buy some fries to share.
The differing cultures of individual gyms change this a lot though. Being in a gym connected to a school severely skews my outlook on this stuff.
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But can be dangerous when one side lifts faster than the other. I would much prefer a single “competent” spotter.
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Very true. I thought the stat above about the price of the gym was interesting too. A new gym opened up in my city and we considered it since it was close. But it was a $10 a month place (not Planet Fitness). Sure enough, I’m told it drew in a younger, mostly single crowd and the gym is like every cringy/annoying thing we’ve talked about in this thread all rolled into one, especially during peak hours.
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Good posts.
This is exactly the reason I will not even say good morning to the few women I see at my gym at 5 AM nearly every time I go at that time. I work with the public, so greeting people is automatic; so I once almost blurted out “good morning” to a woman who works out on the same floor I mostly do. But then the “gym harassment” shenanigans quickly crossed my mind and I didn’t.
Only us two on that floor at 5 AM; no one else around. Guy politely says, “good morning,” with no intention of even having a conversation, let alone flirting. “Good morning” possibly a sign of something not even there? No thanks!
I actually had that mentality in my 20s and it made me a gymcel. I once didn’t even try to move forward for conversation after a woman walked by and said, “nice ass,” while I was doing pull-throughs. Another time I went into a 7-11 after a late-night workout with a sweaty tank top on (not the best of manners but I figured it was late) and some woman with her friends nearby came over to me and said, “I love your shirt. What gym do you go to?” I think I just blurted out my answer, chuckled, and moved on.
I told my friend about these instances and he said, “bro, is something wrong with you?!” So I was both a “mentalcel” and a “gymcel” in one. Perhaps “socialcel” would apply too. 
This was the aughts and I believe back then many women wanted men to talk to them.
Usually I’m in a rush these days whether I go before or after work because of wife, kids, chores; so I’m usually disinterested in conversing to anyone. But if I didn’t loosen up here and there, I think the gym experience would be miserable and I wouldn’t have the gym acquaintances I have. I’m not training to compete and I only lift for general fitness now, so why not? I think being 100 percent disciplined makes people nuts. At least for me it does; and it certainly didn’t land me friends or a woman in the past.
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