Yeah, next time post the full story start to finish AFTER you close the deal.
AN OPEN LETTER TO HOLYMAC’S 6TH GRADE TEACHER:
[Feist here adopts the third-person voice to make it sound properly serious when he asks other T-Nation-ers not to fuck this up with stupid comments about the alleged sexual proclivities of Mac’s former teacher. Feist knows, as you all do, that you are all either sluts or want to be, anyway.]
THE LETTER:
Dear pretty lady,
I don’t know HolyMac very well. We’ve never spoken – even within the context of a thread – that I can recall. Everything I know about him I know from the goofy pictures he posts on here (he is wearing a bucket on his head in his avatar) and the stupid threads he starts. I don’t know his political views, but I suspect they’re annoying. He probably has athlete’s foot and puts on too much cologne. Frankly, he can come across as a big, dumb goomba sometimes (note: I don’t have anything against Italians or know anything about Holymac’s ethnic background except that he looks kinda white to me), and slightly full of himself.
I’ll say this about him, though: as much time (too much) as I’ve spent reading these forums, I’ve never seen him say one genuinely spiteful thing to anybody. As full of resentment and insecurity as the internet is – and as ready as people are to go off on each other over the smallest thing – that’s pretty remarkable.
As dumb as most of his exploits are (backflip, set off the “lunk alarm” at Planet Fitness), he seems to enjoy himself and have actual fun in real-life. He is capable of putting together and executing a plan (the backflip thing was attacked systematically), un-self-conscious, and, for the most part (lunk alarm) appears to actually go out and do stuff, not just talk about it. I suspect that the people he hangs out with – men and women – tend to have fun, too.
Mac was indiscreet in his handling of this thread – hell, I’d be pissed to find pics of me posted. You have a right to be upset about that, and should address it with him face-to-face – but I don’t think he intended you any harm or disrespect. He did TRY to black out any personally identifying info, both in snippets of conversation and pics. He did routinely compliment your appearance. Even when he poked fun at your LOLs and :)s, I think it was more a combination of giddy excitement and trying to look good for the “boys” (the readers of this thread, not his nuts, but, who knows, maybe them, too) than any derision of you. When you consider the audience he had (admittedly “living vicariously through him”), it’d be hard for him not to feel he had to “perform” a little. But you’d know more about that than me.
Mac likes you. I can tell. His posts have had this droopy look to them ever since he thought he might not get to meet you again. Even his avatar looks sad. There must have been something about him that you liked, too, and – be honest with yourself, now – did you do nothing to encourage Mac in this? I don’t mean to start a thread – of course not! – but, if you were at all flattered by his attentions, think how much more a young guy like him would have been by yours. It couldn’t have helped but gone to his head a bit. It just happened to spill out his ears a little and onto here, instead of into harmless conversation with friends, as might have happened in another situation.
If there was nothing there in the first place, then don’t meet him. If there was, wouldn’t it be a shame to ruin it over something as stupid and petty – silly, actually – as this? Make him make it up to you, no pics or play-by-play allowed. After all, he HAS been a bad boy…
Also, consider this (really): you’re the only girl Mac’s felt like bragging about on the 'net. Don’t judge him too harshly.
In all seriousness, I wish you both the best – many LOLs and good times! – wherever your paths take you.
^^ wtf
and
[quote]jflagg wrote:
…and now am clinically depressed.[/quote]
lol
This could one day be looked on as a funny start to a fantastic relationship etc… lol.
yea this was a case of when “pics or it didn’t happen” goes wrong. it makes me sad 
he was only playing by the rulez of the interwebz
[quote]Feist wrote:
Open Letter
[/quote]
Dude you’re a fucking creep, this is worse than the guy who ruined HMs adventure
Wow, I don’t usually feel the need to comment, but I feel really bad for the OP. This was such a kickass thread until someone had to go and be a fuckstick. Anyways, not expecting a young guy to get excited about the prospect of dating his hot teacher is like, not expecting a puppy to piss on your floor. In the highly unlikely event that the teacher takes a serious look at any of this, don’t get too mad at the OP. Just discipline his naughty ass. You’re the teacher, right? (As for the fuckstick meddler, I hope you die.)
/slightly creepy post
Another lurker here who had blue balls waiting for what would happen next.
One small editing fail and some jealous kid takes advantage and ruins this for HM and all of us
neelydan ruined your fun
[quote]NeelyDan wrote:
neelydan ruined your fun[/quote]
lol i don’t believe you
[quote]NeelyDan wrote:
neelydan ruined your fun[/quote]
Burn the Anteater!!! Burn him with fire!
[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
NeelyDan wrote:
neelydan ruined your fun
lol i don’t believe you[/quote]
oh no?
[quote]NeelyDan wrote:
neelydan ruined your fun
[/quote]
Maybe we can all fly to Ontario and kick your ass. I mean…Mac does have those plane tickets, I’m sure he could return them in exchange for some ones heading north…
[quote]trav123456 wrote:
NeelyDan wrote:
neelydan ruined your fun
Burn the Anteater!!! Burn him with fire![/quote]
Don’t even try to stop him!
[quote]NeelyDan wrote:
HolyMacaroni wrote:
NeelyDan wrote:
neelydan ruined your fun
lol i don’t believe you
oh no?[/quote]
Soooo Neely, whereabouts in Ontario are you?
Anteater, you best be joking!
Or you’re one low ass mfer.
[quote]Ty Carlson wrote:
I hope satan himself burns the flesh from this snitch’s miserable bones…ok, maybe thats too much.[/quote]
not even close to enough…
HangarBaby,
Fuck off. This is 90% good-natured parody, 5% smooth psychological ninja moves (that you’re ruining), and 5% serious. The serious part goes like this (let me translate it into simpleton for you, the language I should probably have originally written in):
Hey, lady! Somebody pointed you to this thread of Mac bragging about how he was gonna bang you and it was looking more and more like a sure thing. You’re probably pissed. That’s understandable. Chicks don’t like it when guys say they’re easy, especially if it’s to the whole internet and they’re making fun of the way you talk (lol! :)) at the same time. Please consider, though, that, in this situation, it was only natural for Mac to get excited and want to brag. Please also consider that your own role in this was hardly passive/innocent. Long story short: Please don’t take it too serious and let it spoil your fun or Mac’s.
The smooth ninja moves involve(d) appealing to the lady’s better qualities (which, lady, I’m sure you have in abundance), making her seem extra-special in the context of Mac’s e-love life (which, lady, I’m sure you are), making it seem like all of Mac’s indiscretions were simply due to his school-girl level of infatuation with her (which I’m sure they totally were), and putting in subtle suggestions that things be handled in person.
I know that Mac’s not heartbroken over this chick. And my dick doesn’t rise or fall with whatever happens or doesn’t happen in Mac’s love life (or with any of the pathetic, whiny sob-stories discussed on the SAMA forum, of which I remember you contributing one or two). I HAVE been entertained by many of Mac’s goofball posts – and by this thread especially. I thought that if I could give back by increasing the chance that this situation (assuming teach was reading this thread) be somehow salvaged, by even 0.1%, that I would. So I tried. Apparently, I misjudged the situation and the way the post would be read. My bad. If it really comes off as that goddamn creepy – after reading all of the skank comments and the extreme nuthugging in this thread – then fine. (I actually did worry about how it might come across, but then figured, “Nah, people won’t read it that way.”) Mac can PM me and I’ll delete it tomorrow (or tonight, if I read it then).
In the meanwhile, thank you for your contribution, and stuff it up your ass.
-F.
P.S. I would never, ever cock-block someone this way.
P.P.S. Mac, sorry for the turn this took.
[quote]HangerBaby wrote:
Feist wrote:
Open Letter
Dude you’re a fucking creep, this is worse than the guy who ruined HMs adventure [/quote]
Well, if he’s not joking we could always have a T-Nation wide meeting in Ontario. Local newspaper reads “Mob of heavily muscled dudes goes hunting for anteater in Ontario forest. Anteater BBQ follows.”
Hell, Feist’s letter might work. You can’t blame the guy for trying. I think that was written the way it needed to be and has a chance to maybe put the spark back in it for the teacher.