Yes , I agree with all of your conclusions and I’m not really going to put effort into this anymore, and I doubt he will either.
But I’m curious about something, if a girl asks a guy if he wants to come in at 2am, if he has any sexual interest, does he not just come in ? Like asking me what we are going to do, does that not give me a massive indication that he wasnt ever sexually attracted to me in the first place? I’ve never had a guy say that before lol
Do not underestimate how insecure and terrified some guys are.
He probably went home and had an angry, tearful wank thinking of all the things he wanted to do to you but was too cowardly to make happen.
lol!!!
If he’s that insecure the bastard needs to grow a set and Aphla up! A man that insecure isn’t worth having anyway.
Anyway he messaged me
What’d he say?
Why is this worth quoting then replying to with a comment? I don’t know but it made my night.
Well, that’s nice. Just my $.02, but I think it’s ok to talk to him. Just because he acted douchey doesn’t mean he’s a total douche. He may seem confident on the outside but be awkward and insecure on the inside. We’re all human, none of us are perfect.
But if I were you I wouldn’t propose going out again. It’s past time for him to take the initiative. And then I would ask him where this is going, does he just want to be friends or what. Even tell him that you had a crush on him but feel like he’s just jerking you around. Be straight forward, and see if he is capable of being straightforward in return. That will tell you if he is worthy of you.
Not trying to tell you how to handle this. I hope either unfucks himself and this turns out to be a great relationship, or that you can walk away happy knowing that you tried, but he wasn’t worthy.
Uhg he’s being really nice lol
Effing hell my heart strings be over tugged
Wow, the odds of that are less than 1 in a 100. As are the odds of you ever having to cook yourself dinner.
Just means his other friends were busy tonight. 
I look at most positive interactions I’ve had with women that go beyond mere friendliness with suspicion.
Probably why i’m still single.
Often when I’ve been 50/50 about someone, if it falls over then my ego will take over and I will try get them back. Then we’ll have sex and I’ll think “oh god! What have I done and how do I get out of this?!?!?”
Anyway, my point is make sure he is nice for a period before you decide on whether he is nice or the guy who gives you bad nights out…
Plot twist, he is a member of these forums and is playing it out like a game of chess 
To continue… what do you want to happen @Spock81 , do you feel as if you could move forward with him after the incident with his bartender friend without holding a grudge?
Ok well I guess full disclosure I’ll tell you what we talked about , but no judging of me lol .
So I had a quality assurance chick sit with me and that’s what he does too so she told him she was extremely impressed by me . He messaged me and told me to keep up the good work, and all this kind of positive stuff . So that part is normal you can judge me there LOL.
So I was very stressed about this as I knew it was going to be happening soon , and it was a huge relief when it worked out well.
As I’ve said before and have openly talked about in my log, I have a tenancy to get manic. Its hormonal , but if something good happens at the same time it kind of explodes.
So that’s what we talked about . … I told him I get manic sometimes . He was curious and asked me a bunch of questions about it. I had no idea he would give a shit or be that interested because no one’s ever been interested before. But he was really nice about it. He said it’s good I told him because it might help him understand me more and that I shouldn’t be embarrassed and all this other kind of really nice stuff .
So there’s that .
I dunno if deep down it wigged him out, but it didnt seem to. And it does embarrass me. It only lasts 10 days a month, but it’s really uncomfortable, and I don’t really disclose what’s going on with my friends because they don’t understand, nor do most people care. Or even think it’s a thing. I’ve said in training to people when I’ve finished things hours before other people and they ask , and I just burst out WELL I’m manic!!!
But they don’t know I’m dying inside .
But ya , I dont really have a plan or any intentions. I’m not going to invite him out again and I’m not going out of my way to message or say hi at work. If he invites me out I guess it depends on if its early and a considerate invite or another past 9pm last minute thing.
As someone who dated co-workers in the past, always be friendly and professional at work, but yeah, don’t go out of your way.
I think you should stop defining yourself by the way you think you behave at times spocko.
Do you care about other people?
Do you wish good things for people?
Do you believe in pushing yourself to achieve?
Do you feel empathy for those less fortunate?
Do you help people from time to time?
The answer to these questions among many many others define you too. Its not just the big thing you or any of us worry about ourselves. Give yourself a pat on the back for being a good person (assuming you answered yes mostly).
Regards
Niles Crane
Very much this. Best way to make someone not interested in you take interest in you (temporarily) is let them know you aren’t interested.
Yes, I know this type of thing is fairly common , and I’ve no doubt experienced this in the past, but having a deep and long conversation about mental health doesnt really go along with that pattern.
I imagine it being more high level, basic , nice conversation. That is to say, I highly doubt the point of last nights talk was to get back in my good books
you misspelled ‘manipulative’