He knows them but has something preventing him from telling her (too vulnerable and not secure enough yet or doesn’t want to hurt her or countless other reasons)
He knows them but isn’t telling her because he can get something out of it
In all of these situations, pushing is going to make things worse. That is a good thing for scenario 3 but not for the other two.
This entire game is about breaking down the issues around scenarios and that is achieved by letting things evolve… or just getting drunk and banging one out then hoping for the best.
The gym pants part has me thinking he’s just playing for the other team though. That’s cool. My one old buddy used to go out with a woman all the time so people thought he was straight too.
Been thinking about this because it kind of parallels my own shituation.
What are your intentions? I ask myself this and I’m pretty muddy about it. My kids are older than yours, 15 and 12, and my ex has them, is an involved parent, so I don’t have daily care to provide.
Sometimes I think I want a relationship, others, just intimacy (aka sex).
I realize intimacy is different for dudes, but are you clear with what you want?
I’m not sure what I want or what I wanted out of this to be honest.
The simplest answer is just something good.
Awesome sex and someone to hang out with? Great!
Love? Great !
Someone to talk to before bed, go on dates with, cuddle with? Great !
Any and all of the above would have been wonderful .
I’m busy, I have a fulfilling life. I dont have tons of free time, but I’d shift things around for the sake of developing smitteness.
I don’t, however, want to keep having shit nights out , and 3 hour sleeps for someone if I’m not really getting positive vibes out of it.
Anyone makes you feel bad when you’re with them should be avoided, like all energy zappers.
What else is there to think about at this stage? Making excuses for some dickhead is ridiculous at this stage of a non-relationship. Put him in the bin, move on.
I think you went into this with too high expectations out of the gate, which if he sensed that, and he probably did, could be intimidating, or a turn off. But he should have been decent and mature enough to address that honestly and directly.
The whole thing with the hot bartender friend seems like something a really awkward guy would read on a pick-up artist website and think, “that’ll drive her crazy with jealousy!” But it’s just douchey. I would move on.
no kidding. but it is clear that he’s a fucking flake, so it almost doesn’t matter anyway. Doesn’t seem to be worth Spock’s efforts anymore. He seems like he’d be a nightmare to date.
Ok, so I have no idea what this is, but I’m assuming it’s a social proof sort of thing? Because that’s the conclusion I’ve come to after reading through all this.
So Spock, here’s how I’m reading this now (and the reason I’d cut things off at this point). It looks like he’s using either you as social proof to try to get with the bartender, or the other way around. Either way it’s dumb. He either wants to show you or her that he hangs out with attractive females, in order to make himself look more socially desirable. I’m leaning towards you as being the ‘attractive friend’. Could be wrong, but it doesn’t matter, the result is he’s playing games, and that’s not worth your time.
The biggest thing takeaway, to me, is what was mentioned above, that you made too many positive assumptions about this guy before you really knew him. Oh well.
knowing what I know about you from here I think you’d dig it … I’d say power through the first season or two and then it hits its groove … it’s very irreverent