Girlfriends with Male Friends

Off Topic
81

[quote]gregron wrote:
Cliff notes:
Your GF went on a “business trip” with her sister.
They met a group of dudes.
GF’s sister got plowed by one of them.
Your GF is home now and talks non stop about one of the guys she met and is texting him.

You see what’s happening here right?[/quote]

The above quote sums it up perfectly. Imagine if you had a friend and he told you exactly what you are telling us. What would you tell him? I think you know and I think you know what to do. I understand though, you may want to believe it not to be, but why bank on those slim odds and do you really want a woman that will do these type of things to you?

82

[quote]RelativeShoe wrote:

[quote]four60 wrote:
So, it is cool for a girlfriend to trade information,stay in contact and talk for hours on facebook with the guy her “sister” had a one night stand with?

[/quote]

If she’s fucking him or intends to then no. But then as the OP stated, in that case she’d likely leave him anyway. I mean, if this other guy’s stolen her heart what’s she sticking around for? The lectures on how she’s not allowed to speak to anyone with a Y chromosome?

In the absence of any evidence that she’s actually done anything wrong, there are two options:

Option 1: If you trust the girlfriend, and have the self-confidence to cope with the fact that she might be able to have an interest in what another guy has to say without finding herself in the back of a Camaro with a mouthful of cock, you stop being a dick and let her get on with it.

Option 2: If you don’t trust the girlfriend then your relationship’s a busted flush anyway, whether she’s cheated on you or not. You might as well cut your losses and buy yourself a Camaro for next time.[/quote]

There is no way you are seriously delusional enough to not realize that there is a very large number of people out there (men and women) who like to have gf/bf as well as constantly fuck on the side. Completely ignoring the signs that your gf/bf might fall into this category isn’t “trusting” them, it’s simply being delusional.

83

I thought ‘GPS her car’ was meant to be the solution to all wimmenz problems

84

I’m a little late to the show, but I don’t think anything is wrong with a woman that is involved with a man having male friends. That being said, I’m talking about friends that she already had before she was involved with the guy she is with. Making new guy “friends” while she is already in a committed relationship is a major red flag in my book.

85

My girlfriend has plenty of male friends. It’s no big deal cause… well, you know, we’re grown ups and I’m not a fucking dick who’s trying to isolate her. If any of you think you can “outlaw” a significant other from having friends of an opposite sex, well, you’re idiots, and that behavior drives women to do the very thing you’re trying to prevent.

That being said, the situation you are describing sounds different than her just “having male friends.” It sounds like she “met a guy.” Which is way different.

87

relationship rule #1 - if you cant trust her/him for whatever reason, leave.

relationship rule #@ thru #15 - remember rule #1.

on a related note - describe cheating to me.

in my opinion, if you are in a committed relationship, and put that person first in your life on all things while in close proximity, then you are accomplishing your goals/commitments/vows.

but with the conversations here, it looks like cheating is only involving relationships with other people.

in my opinion, as long as the needs are being met with your SO, and you have some side relationships, out of town hookups, then you are not ‘cheating’. this is something that is over and above your committed relationship. and before you say it, yes, it refers to both parties of the relationship - as long as the side opportunities are not flaunted, kept discreet, and do not embarrass the SO.

your thoughts?

88

[quote]Edgy wrote:
relationship rule #1 - if you cant trust her/him for whatever reason, leave.

relationship rule #@ thru #15 - remember rule #1.

on a related note - describe cheating to me.

in my opinion, if you are in a committed relationship, and put that person first in your life on all things while in close proximity, then you are accomplishing your goals/commitments/vows.

but with the conversations here, it looks like cheating is only involving relationships with other people.

in my opinion, as long as the needs are being met with your SO, and you have some side relationships, out of town hookups, then you are not ‘cheating’. this is something that is over and above your committed relationship. and before you say it, yes, it refers to both parties of the relationship - as long as the side opportunities are not flaunted, kept discreet, and do not embarrass the SO.

your thoughts?

[/quote]

I think this is where relationships are evolving to…or they already have been there all along but now there’s a struggle for the ego to accept it openly. In other cultures it’s very common to take lovers. It’s discreeet and ignored by the other partner as long as the relationship is stable.

89

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]Edgy wrote:
relationship rule #1 - if you cant trust her/him for whatever reason, leave.

relationship rule #@ thru #15 - remember rule #1.

on a related note - describe cheating to me.

in my opinion, if you are in a committed relationship, and put that person first in your life on all things while in close proximity, then you are accomplishing your goals/commitments/vows.

but with the conversations here, it looks like cheating is only involving relationships with other people.

in my opinion, as long as the needs are being met with your SO, and you have some side relationships, out of town hookups, then you are not ‘cheating’. this is something that is over and above your committed relationship. and before you say it, yes, it refers to both parties of the relationship - as long as the side opportunities are not flaunted, kept discreet, and do not embarrass the SO.
your thoughts?

[/quote]

I think this is where relationships are evolving to…or they already have been there all along but now there’s a struggle for the ego to accept it openly. In
other cultures it’s very common to take lovers. It’s discreeet and ignored by the other partner as long as the relationship is stable. [/quote]

This is how people get stabbed. Cheating in any form Sports, Games, relationships is when anyone breaks the rules while still in the game with the hope of not being discovered. If both parties are down with whatever and it’s known by both then you have NO CHEATING.

But the key is everyone understands and is playing by the same rules.

90

[quote]four60 wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]Edgy wrote:
in my opinion, as long as the needs are being met with your SO, and you have some side relationships, out of town hookups, then you are not ‘cheating’. this is something that is over and above your committed relationship. and before you say it, yes, it refers to both parties of the relationship - as long as the side opportunities are not flaunted, kept discreet, and do not embarrass the SO.
your thoughts?
[/quote]

I think this is where relationships are evolving to…or they already have been there all along but now there’s a struggle for the ego to accept it openly. In
other cultures it’s very common to take lovers. It’s discreeet and ignored by the other partner as long as the relationship is stable. [/quote]

This is how people get stabbed. Cheating in any form Sports, Games, relationships is when anyone breaks the rules while still in the game with the hope of not being discovered. If both parties are down with whatever and it’s known by both then you have NO CHEATING.

But the key is everyone understands and is playing by the same rules.
[/quote]

“Best Handgun for Cheating Girlfriend”?

91

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]four60 wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]Edgy wrote:
in my opinion, as long as the needs are being met with your SO, and you have some side relationships, out of town hookups, then you are not ‘cheating’. this is something that is over and above your committed relationship. and before you say it, yes, it refers to both parties of the relationship - as long as the side opportunities are not flaunted, kept discreet, and do not embarrass the SO.
your thoughts?
[/quote]

I think this is where relationships are evolving to…or they already have been there all along but now there’s a struggle for the ego to accept it openly. In
other cultures it’s very common to take lovers. It’s discreeet and ignored by the other partner as long as the relationship is stable. [/quote]

This is how people get stabbed. Cheating in any form Sports, Games, relationships is when anyone breaks the rules while still in the game with the hope of not being discovered. If both parties are down with whatever and it’s known by both then you have NO CHEATING.

But the key is everyone understands and is playing by the same rules.
[/quote]

“Best Handgun for Cheating Girlfriend”?[/quote]

A Super Soaker…filled with LIES!!!

92

[quote]four60 wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]Edgy wrote:
relationship rule #1 - if you cant trust her/him for whatever reason, leave.

relationship rule #@ thru #15 - remember rule #1.

on a related note - describe cheating to me.

in my opinion, if you are in a committed relationship, and put that person first in your life on all things while in close proximity, then you are accomplishing your goals/commitments/vows.

but with the conversations here, it looks like cheating is only involving relationships with other people.

in my opinion, as long as the needs are being met with your SO, and you have some side relationships, out of town hookups, then you are not ‘cheating’. this is something that is over and above your committed relationship. and before you say it, yes, it refers to both parties of the relationship - as long as the side opportunities are not flaunted, kept discreet, and do not embarrass the SO.
your thoughts?

[/quote]

I think this is where relationships are evolving to…or they already have been there all along but now there’s a struggle for the ego to accept it openly. In
other cultures it’s very common to take lovers. It’s discreeet and ignored by the other partner as long as the relationship is stable. [/quote]

This is how people get stabbed. Cheating in any form Sports, Games, relationships is when anyone breaks the rules while still in the game with the hope of not being discovered. If both parties are down with whatever and it’s known by both then you have NO CHEATING.

But the key is everyone understands and is playing by the same rules.
[/quote]

that is the key, even if the understanding is not stated, but implied. but cheating is only that which there are not agreements or vows, right?

the marriage vows, and the marriage contract do not refer to remaining faithfu. the love, honor cherish, sickness and in health - those are the vows that, if kept, will concur with what is considered faithful, no?

for instance, if Hubby spends most of his time, money etc, on hobbies, or at the bars, but remains sexually faithful, does this complete the relationship contract?

ya, know - i really want some input on this, but have hijacked this thread - I will attempt to start another for this discussion -

93

[quote]RelativeShoe wrote:
ramble ramble ramble
[/quote]
With all due respect… and remember, I said with all due respect… Your avatar is a Pokeman. What do you know about committed adult relationships?

94

[quote]gregron wrote:

[quote]RelativeShoe wrote:
ramble ramble ramble
[/quote]
With all due respect… and remember, I said with all due respect… Your avatar is a Pokeman. What do you know about committed adult relationships?[/quote]

Best thing to come from the post. I’m literally crying.

95

[quote]four60 wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]Edgy wrote:
relationship rule #1 - if you cant trust her/him for whatever reason, leave.

relationship rule #@ thru #15 - remember rule #1.

on a related note - describe cheating to me.

in my opinion, if you are in a committed relationship, and put that person first in your life on all things while in close proximity, then you are accomplishing your goals/commitments/vows.

but with the conversations here, it looks like cheating is only involving relationships with other people.

in my opinion, as long as the needs are being met with your SO, and you have some side relationships, out of town hookups, then you are not ‘cheating’. this is something that is over and above your committed relationship. and before you say it, yes, it refers to both parties of the relationship - as long as the side opportunities are not flaunted, kept discreet, and do not embarrass the SO.
your thoughts?

[/quote]

I think this is where relationships are evolving to…or they already have been there all along but now there’s a struggle for the ego to accept it openly. In
other cultures it’s very common to take lovers. It’s discreeet and ignored by the other partner as long as the relationship is stable. [/quote]

This is how people get stabbed. Cheating in any form Sports, Games, relationships is when anyone breaks the rules while still in the game with the hope of not being discovered. If both parties are down with whatever and it’s known by both then you have NO CHEATING.

But the key is everyone understands and is playing by the same rules.
[/quote]

Exactly. Integrity, please.

96

[quote]RelativeShoe wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]RelativeShoe wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
Lol @ machop. Have fun being cuckolded mate.[/quote]

Haha. Have fun conquering women bro. I’m sure all that “ground work” will help. I’ll have fun getting to know them, loving them and living alongside them as respectful equals. And if your missus ever tires of your shit, feel free to send her my way.

Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.[/quote]
I’m just saying, a respectful equal should know appropriate boundaries with her single male friends. Most people don’t leave home with a post-it note on their steering wheel saying “remember to cheat on your spouse today!”. Usually “it just happens”. Ever heard that one? It just happens when you put yourself in compromising situations. A big part of a committed relationship is keeping yourself out of those situations and having no desire to do otherwise. Girls who prefer to have guy friends and hang out with them without you and text and Facebook message them privately are making a conscious decision to jump into shark filled waters. And if she respected you at all, she wouldn’t.[/quote]

Yes, this exactly.
[/quote]

I don’t see any inappropriate boundaries here. That’s the thing. I talk to lots of people on Facebook, so does my girlfriend. It’s called being sociable. If two people trust one another then it works. This whole “power struggle” bullshit is just macho posturing. Not entirely surprising on a website dedicated to working out, but still achingly stereotypical. People who care for each other don’t cheat on each other, and no amount of “temptation” will change that. I dunno, maybe it’s an American thing. Too much advertising or some shit.

The irony here is we all reached the same conclusion. OP should leave his girlfriend. It’s just that you guys think he should do it because she’s a filthy slut who can’t go five minutes out of his gaze without ending up brimming over with semen, and I think he should do it because he’s obviously not mature enough to deal with adult relationships. Either way OP, cut and run.[/quote]

There is no power struggle between men and women. That was settled and we won that years ago. Women crave a leader. Some say they don’t but that is because they are strong willed and haven’t found a man strong enough to earn enough of their respect for them to follow. That’s the rules that have been set forth, either you are abiding by said rules or you are trying to convince yourself that you didn’t want to play anyway just to make yourself feel better.

97

[quote]Edgy wrote:
relationship rule #1 - if you cant trust her/him for whatever reason, leave.

relationship rule #@ thru #15 - remember rule #1.

on a related note - describe cheating to me.

in my opinion, if you are in a committed relationship, and put that person first in your life on all things while in close proximity, then you are accomplishing your goals/commitments/vows.

but with the conversations here, it looks like cheating is only involving relationships with other people.

in my opinion, as long as the needs are being met with your SO, and you have some side relationships, out of town hookups, then you are not ‘cheating’. this is something that is over and above your committed relationship. and before you say it, yes, it refers to both parties of the relationship - as long as the side opportunities are not flaunted, kept discreet, and do not embarrass the SO.

your thoughts?

[/quote]
I’m not sure what you believe in, but this defies evolution and pretty much every religion I have ever heard of. This may seem tangential, but it’s nontrivial. This is particularly true when you talk about women that are screwing around. Nobody is comfortable with that.

98

looong time reader, first time poster!!! had to respond to this. i’m presently in a very similar situation, reading OP made me shake my head. my girlfriend, or ex girlfriend, had bunch of male friends, because girls were catty so she didn’t have much girlfriends also… it was ok at first, but things just didn’t seem right after a while… she would go get drunk with her guy friends, even some of my friends, without me being around. stuff guys would say, under their breath and out loud would plant seeds of doubt. i would rack my head trying to figure stuff out, but then it clearly dawned on me!!! whether i’d ever find out the truth of anything happening or not, a constant series of incidents created doubt, worry, and second guessing, which was enough to end it. why put myself through that??? why should you go through that???

99

No way would I allow guy friends for girlfriend wife or any girl that I was in a relationship with. Trust me, she will respect you more if you put the stops to it. She may argue but at least you are taking charge. Not to mention that your girl hanging out with other guys makes you look like the biggest Jennifer on the planet!! It’s called respect. Any guy that thinks different is what I like to call the contemporary male and you make me sick. Your that guy that’s doing the dishes while your girl is watching real housewives or walking around the mall with a kid strapped to your chest while your wife is shopping. If your girl doesn’t understand that you are a man, you need to go find a woman that does.

100

[quote]gregron wrote:

[quote]RelativeShoe wrote:
ramble ramble ramble
[/quote]
With all due respect… and remember, I said with all due respect… Your avatar is a Pokeman. What do you know about committed adult relationships?[/quote]
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