Thanks for a reasonable reply. However, I have a big problem with this. I could understand if in a relationship somebody does not like somebody else’s actions and asks him to reconsider them. But, “dirty mags”?!? Softcore?!? C’mon! Is that really something that should be an issue between two people who are supposed to spend a lifetime together? What happens when some bigger issue arises?!?
Lipo, sometimes I really do not understand people and think I do not exactly fit in the society because that kind of behaviour is not acceptable for me - and it is for majority of male population.
I find it funny that you called it “meaningless porn”. If ths “meaningless porn” is more important then the relationship, then something is really missing. I don’t need it.
Muscle Jeff, you better make a stand now! Otherwise soon you’ll only be allowed to watch cartoons and we’ll have to call you Pussy Jeff. And don’t let the christians put a guilt trip on you. After all, they are nothing more than a cabal of pedophliles.
Ko, today it’s porn. Tomorrow it will be something else. I think you got my point…
I don’t like the magazines, and I don’t particularly like the movies either. Some of you are getting pretty defensive here… I wonder what insecurity YOU are hiding? Straight out, I don’t like the fake tits, the collagen and the TOTAL airbrushing of the women in the magazines. You can not say that you look at them and don’t get aroused, that’s why they are called ‘stroke mags’. So, you look through this magazine, get a nice chub going and finish it off thinking of the completely fake woman you are drooling over. And you wonder why women don’t like the magazines???
Sure, when we are walking through the mall and a good-looking woman walks by I expect my man to turn and look. Yeah, he gets a punch in the arm *grin*, but it's harmless. However, if later that night he was thinking about her while he was with me I'd have a problem.
Watching porn together or looking through the magazines together is one thing, sort of like a 'see who can point out the fakest tits' game. But looking through them on your own is something different.
Yeah, I guess you can think I am insecure, and to some degree I guess you would be correct. I will never get a boob job, or have my photos retouched in PhotoShop, or have a facelift... so knowing that my guy is looking at a completely fake 'woman' and getting off on it upsets me. If you found your girl looking through a magazine of naked men and drooling over them, and they are obviously better built and better hung than you are would you feel bad? You're lying if you say no.
Go ahead and say I have a leash on my man. You're wrong. I love him just as much as he loves me. He knows how I feel about magazines like that, and he respects my feelings. We have talked about my reasons for not liking porn. He respects my feelings.
Incidentally, when out at a party with a bunch of friends, he told me they were renting a porn. No problem, mostly because I knew about it (in fact I recommended one I remembered from college). Your girlfriend may be upset because she feels you are 'sneaking' it, thereby getting satisfaction that you are not getting from her.
Tell her to see a shrink. He obviously has a host of self image issues. You best bet is to dump her and find a real woman. One like mine, who will -BUY- you a subscription to Playboy.
“And don’t let the christians put a guilt trip on you. After all, they are nothing more than a cabal of pedophliles.” Based on what do you make this claim? Have any statistics handy, any percentages? I just don’t see where such a hateful statement came from. Seems to me like everyone has respectfully given their point of view, except you.
Have you seen the news lately? Are you in denial of the sexual abuses and coverups? Are you a bishop?
Big Bert, yes I have kept up with the news. What percentage are the offending phony christians to the nonpediophiles? If I paraded all the white guys accussed and/or convicted of pediophilia in the past 20 or so years every night for a week, you would have to judge that all whites are pediophiles. At least according to your logic. After all you seem to judge an entire group by a very few. That’s…well,um…odd.
And another thread takes a wicked turn.
My question was not meant to attack you. I merely raised it because of the “tone” of many of your responses when it comes to women. And I guess you cleared that up by stating that you don’t trust people in general, most specifically women. That’s too bad that someone sometime did something so awful to you that it has clouded your thinking towards everyone.Sorry if my question sounded like antagonism to you. It wasn’t meant that way at all. The trouble with forums and the internet in general is that nobody can “hear” the tone of voice in which things are “said”.
I think someone said it best when they spoke of compromise. No, nobody likes to be told what they can read and what they can look at. But, usually some form of compromise works best in relationships. And why would a desire to look at porn magazines be more preferable to a long-term relationship? Simply because it shows that you can’t be controlled? How immature. Relationships are not about controlling another person. They are about wanting to be together with someone else and accomodating and respecting their desires along with your own.
WEll, thought I’d throw my hat into the ring. Firstly, I understand Jason Norcross’ statements. Realize, it’s based on the passage from Matthew 5:28 “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” So it’s HOW you look, no that you do look. With all that said, I’ll explain my two situations. With my first wife, she had no problems with mags (though I never bought any). Actually, she even had some pictures of the spreads and used them as “inspiration” to shoot for. We occassionally watched videos (together), and once, when we were trying to get pregnant (thankfully that never happened), she actually told me to think of any one I wished (kind of funny, I never had ANY problems with performance). Now with my current wife, she finds ALL of that offensive. Even the lingerie shots. So you can’t generalize. I DO think you’re a bit of an idiot for telling her. It’s something you need to explore in conveersation and by observing her reactions to things before bringing up any of your habits, then decide what you want to do.
GM, no harm done, I did not feel attacked and like you said, this is not the best media when it comes to discussing things because you cannot see other people’s face when they say (write) things to you. Another thing, I personally would never buy a porn magazine because it is a waste of money and I do not enjoy especially browsing through such a literature. I do not know about international/USA issue of Playboy, but Croatian issue has a lot of good articles there. If you ask me, Playboy is a great magazine and it would be even better if there were no nude women in the pictures there. Really! What really pisses me off is other people (and women!) trying to tell me what do to and how to behave, especially about completely meaningless and irrelevant things like softcore. I am sick of nude pictures I come across by accident on the Internet reading various forums, or via spam or whatever, because I spend 10+ hours per day online. Another things, there are several persons, mostly women, who addmited on their own they are insecure about themselves and that is why they do not like to see their men browsing through the porn. This sort of confession does not make it right in my opinion and it is not a valid argument. Not at all. If you women are worried about competing with retouched pictures of women, you have serious issue with your self esteem and should do some serious personal growth. If you think the guy is “cheating” on you because he jacks off on porn, do something about it. Maybe you are not good enough in bed. Maybe you don’t have sex frequent enough. It is all about YOU, not the guy, so don’t blame it on them. Axy over and out.
For a quality relationship, you should be willing to to give up a lot more. But if keeping a few “spank” mags around is so important, you’ll never know, and that is sad. Back to the original qestion. If your partner is O.K. with porn , great stock up, but if she is not then you ned to make a decision, is it worth it. My guess is that if it comes down to your stack of dirty mags, then there are other issues that need to be adressed. But if this is the one and only issue, then I think that you have a problem, not your girlfriend.
Axy, you’re right that we should build self-esteem based on ourselves, but the media does a fabulous job of breaking that down. Most women do not look like the girls in Playboy. Most don’t want to either, but media and guys drooling over the pictures, often makes people feel they should. If your guy is drooling over magazine pictures of supposedly perfect women, who wouldn’t feel intimidated? Must of us can never hope to look like that, but our guys drooling make us feel like we should or we aren’t good enough. It is stupid, this vicious cycle, but it’s there. Ask any woman if she is happy with her body and your answer will always be no. There is always something we want to change. Why? Because we are bombarded by the air-brushed magazine pictures everywhere–on TV and in movies too. The bodies and faces we are told we should emulate are not those of the people sitting beside us on the bus, or in a restaurant, or at the movies. So, although very silly and completely irrational, our self-esteem is bound to plummet slightly when we are made to feel that we are competing with an impossibility.
P.S. Glad to hear you don’t like porn.
I’ve been attempting to stay out of this insane topic - but what the hell? GM:I’m one woman who is very at ease with her body - the only change I would make would be for athletic purposes - not cosmetic. I am also in the frame of mind that I am not competing against them magazine pages/photos. They’re competing for my beating heart, my warm body, my quirky wit, the gleam in my eye, my accomplishments as an athlete and artist, my firm ass, my undeniable good proportions/symmetry (wink), the fact that every part of me is god-given and not man-made - SO, these women? They got a LONG ways to go.
And I haven't asked Ko to "give up" that crap. I never have - I've NEVER asked him to give up anything for me. And neither has he asked me to give up anything for him. He and I are on the same page. We're equals all the way (well, he is a better cook than I....). So, AXY - thanks for lumping ALL women, from ALL parts of the world into ONE category. I suppose that's a hell of alot easier than thinking women as individual entities with their own mind, interests, beliefs.
I'm an artist, and you know what I specialize in? Drawing women. Big breasted, big smiley women. When Ko comes home, my art is everywhere. When he turns on the VCR or DVD, he finds either Blade, Terminator, Flash Gordon or some other deemed T-Man flick - we're living in T-Bliss, people. Ahhh, the joy. The sheer happiness.
So, guys can go ahead and get them mags and enjoy them cold, slick pages. Ko's too busy, he's got a warm body at home, that appreciates and loves him for the man that he is.
As an astute reader of Penthouse and Gallery, I must say that the only reason I’ve ever subscribed was for the pictures. I have used these magazines as “stroke mags” for those times when I’ve been single. I’ve never been into porno videos, and I don’t like anything hardcore because I’d rather see a naked girl, not a girl, some guy and whatever else they throw in. I appreciate the beauty of a naked woman. And that’s all I needed to get off.
Now, my girlfriend did stumble across my magazines. And she told me that she did not like them nor thought that I should need them if I have her. And she is absolutely correct. I don’t need them because I have a caring, loving, extremely hot, living and breathing girlfriend. And because I know how to compromise, I respected her beliefs and feelings on the matter and got rid of them. My friends were the lucky beneficiaries of “Santa Porn” as I delivered a boxful of magazines for them to peruse. They were happy, she was happy, and I’m happy.
I don’t think this is an issue of insecurity (although that can always play a role in most situations, since we all have insecurities), but more of respecting your mate and his or her beliefs and feelings. Compromising is something you do in a relationship. It doesn’t mean you are pussy-whipped. In fact, the people that have used that term in reference to me have usually been jealous of what I’ve had. So you can call me pussy-whipped all you want. I know that I have no problem compromising and also love, respect and care for my partner’s feelings.
She’s useless…Dump Her!! She is an insecure control freak. Fuck her you don’t need that shit…
Speaking of ‘pussy whipped’…Anybody actually been pussy whipped? Usually costs about $200 and…
Please, Ko, note that I am not the one who has problems with porn. I did not write the initial post. If you searched my house/hard drive/CDs, you would not find a single nude magazine or picture. I am simply not into those things. I am not saying I do not
aesthetically value or appreciate a nice picture of a naked woman, I am just saying I have other things that push my buttons in a more efficient manner. Bikes or cars, for example, that is how my free time is being spent.
Patricia, I must say that in a long time I have not seen somebody who is basically bragging about themselves as much as you are. Every your post is either how great
person you are, how much you achieved in bodybuilding, how good you are in your are of work, how excellent you look and basically, how you make the Earth revolve around Sun. I may be off line here, but things like this show quite the opposite of what you would like to achieve, they expose basically very insecure and shaky person, and not somebody of great personal strength. I am going to get flamed for this because people here generally do not like in-the-face talk and prefer to engage in scratch-my-back-and-I-will-scratch-yours type of conversation, but what the hell - another thing you should pay attention to is to decrease of amount of space your boyfriend takes in your posts. Since you started posting on this forum, I have been reading about your great achievements and how great your boyfriend is, so much that I almost fell in love with him despite being militant heterosexual all my life. 
Please, analyze your previous posts and see how much of it is devoted to your Highness
and your boyfriend and see if I am right or not. I will not get into your personal issues,
but the story you wrote about you and your ex boyfriend backs up my theory about you being very insecure - and glorifying yourself over those “retouched stroke mag women who have a long way to go before they catch up with you” does not help at all.