[quote]Quasi-Tech wrote:
The three greatest causes of divorce/break-up are the following: 1) money, 2) sex, 3) lack of communication.
My premise, cut out 1 and 2, and focus on 3. Why? Because if you openly communicate with the person you’re with, you will inevtiably discuss and become comfortable with 1 and 2. Seriously, entering into a “binding” relationship where you spend all of your free time with someone is leaps and bounds more difficult than having a “best bud”.
How many folks here have good friends, they do/did everything with, but sometimes you just want to punch them in the face? It’s probably happened once or twice. You separate from them and then get together later. In relationships, you can’t/shouldn’t separate. You deal with it and deal with the issues, or it stares you in the face.
People don’t want to cope with the responsibility. People get married because they like the sex, they feel pressured to, “they are reaching that age to settle down”, etc. Those are not viable reasons to get married. My personal favorite - to have kids. Seriously? Kids can be a part of a marriage but aren’t required. Your kids won’t solve your problems and keep you together, if anything they will create conflict and possibly rip you apart.
Learn to be able to talk with that person about anything. If you can’t honestly look at someone and imagine doing that, they are not for you. If you think you can “fix” someone or “mold” them to suit you, they are not for you. If you think that “sex will fix it”, they are not for you.
Get over and get past being handed things. Just like lifting weights, you gain for time spent and effort invested. Put as much effort into your relationship as you do your other passions and you’ll be ok. Don’t be too “big of a man” to admit you’re wrong, or to ask her what she feels. If she’s a good person, she’ll do the same for you, its about building trust.
Finally, if you want to find a good girl, stop looking at bars, clubs, parties. You won’t find them there, unless you are fortunate enough to find the quiet one who isn’t being skanky, that’s only there because her friends drug her along. You meet good girls in good settings, school, Church, through good, trusted friends, etc. If you’re taking a difficult major in college and there are girls sitting next to you in the same class, chances are she isn’t a skank, because she doesn’t have time to be. If your family is good friends with another family who has good value, spends time with their kids, etc. chances are, that daughter won’t be a skank.
Relationships aren’t easy, but they aren’t rocket science either. It just takes meeting people half way. If you show a woman you are confident and comfortable enough to be yourself and still open to her and try to understand her, she’ll reciprocate. These women that leave for other men are doing the exact same shit guys do, its just they aren’t on a bodybuilding forum posting about it, they are someone else doing the exact same thing about a guy that ruined them.[/quote]
AMEN.
