Hey Simo. Thanks for the kind words. 
Keep setting those PRs, you’re getting strong as shit
I have more than 20 years on you fella and nowhere near the shit you are dealing with and you are still smashing it. You just don’t see how tough you are. Find something simple you can do, I know you can beat this shit, I just know it. Find the first little step and take it. Find something you can eat that doesn’t make you sick just one thing and then find the next thing to focus on. Oh are one tough little fker kid and you can regain control and beat this. Make it real simple, find one thing just one.
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I am sorry that you’ve had such a bad experience. That doesn’t mean that every ‘crazy house’ is like that.
Good question! The answer is that you are young and that I fear @simo74 would be right.
Fear is the answer for me. I don’t know if you read my log (in which I don’t go into detail tbh but still share a good bit) but the topic hits home for me.
Yes I do. My situation is definitely different and I am not trying to play down what you are experiencing. Some of the things you describe I do understand however.
I honestly understand why you would want to kill yourself and I still believe that you should not.
Just because I’m young? That means I have to spend MORE time in pain. I disagree with your logic. I don’t want anything this life has to offer me anyway. Career? Nah. Drugs? Already have them. Wife and children? I think the fuck not!
Simo,
The problem is that I do see how tough I am. I’m just not tough enough to make it through this.
No, you didn’t factor in part two. My reasoning would be the same If you were 45.
Would you consider the possibility that this state of mind is part of your illness? Because it literally is part of a severe depression.
If you’re gone, who’s going to like my stupid posts ???
You’ve been such an inspiring for me personally and I’m sure plenty of people here think the same.
Of course, it’s your perogative
Well, I’m glad I was able to do something right by inspiring others to be better. But I don’t think you’ll be hungry for likes, haha.
Because we’re all waiting for the good days. Haha. I’m tired of waiting! Besides, every day before I was born was a good day, and every day after I die will be a good day.
Oh, yeah. I know that. I’ve known that for a long time. But, depression really never goes away. It just hides for a little while, and when you think you’re doing better, it hits you again, at full force, and you’re unreasonably angry and sad and exhausted and hopeless.
Dude your very strong. To do this on a terrible diet with all the stress. Tons of potential. Get a 2nd opinion about the medical problems.
I really hope you aren’t right about that. However what about the times in between… When the depression is hiding?
I can’t really say anything else that I haven’t already told you. I am not skilled to really do so. It’s not my saying anyways. It is your life.
Do you like to read? I have recently finished two interesting books: ‘Man’s search for meaning’ and ‘the why café’. Maybe you would find them interesting.
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Thanks for the suggestions!
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I’ll have to settle for a 6th.
A while back, I’d said you might appreciate NiN’s “The Downward Spiral”. If you liked that, you should check out the follow up “The Fragile”. I think you’d dig it.
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Thanks Pwn. I’ll miss you. Thanks for giving me all that training advice when I first started out on here.
That my friend is where our opinions differ. I know you are tough enough. Now lets find the one thing.!
Failed a 7th attempt! Great, now I’m on suicide watch. It’ll just have to wait until Monday. Every time I try this shit, I get caught. People make it look like suicide is so easy, my god. Maybe if I bang my head against the wall hard enough? Idk.
how did they spot that you were attempting?
Found me red handed with the extension cord out the window
I do. Been winning that fight for 17.years now, and actually 47 if you count the rest of my life proir when I felt like a piece of human waste and acted accordingly.
Recently sought the help of a therapist due to the ripple effect of heart attack/congestive heart failure too. I’ve spent my life being strong. Physically, emotionally, at work, at home, for everybody else.
Now I need help. That’s the right thing to do so that I can keep being/getting stronger for myself and others.
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