You need long term treatment for your depression and I don’t think you’ve received that yet. You won’t have to worry about your mom dumping your meds once you turn 18.
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Deadlifts
135 x 2 x 5
185 x 3
225 x 3
275 x 3
315 x 3
335 x 1
350 x 11 (RPE 9)
Strict Curl
90 x 3 x 12
Kroc Row
65 x 10
85 x 5
100 x 25 (PR - strapped for lack of grip, the dumbbells are fat)
That’s all.
oh no my reddit karma
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Great set. Very Derek Poundstone-esque.
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But Reddit said I didn’t pull with the hip hinge!
It took me way too long to learn that you can never please the form police. Fear of injury is weird to me.
My form wasn’t even bad, they’ve just never done a heavy set in their lives
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I legit can’t see what so many folks see when they see back rounding. Like, I don’t think I have ever seen an unrounded back by their standards.
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Neither have I ever pulled with an entirely straight back.
Those commenter are twats.
You pulled so hard at one point that it made your phone dizzy 
!
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Many of the Reddit form police brigade are confused much of the time. Pair their ignorance with a steadfast conviction that all of theIr beliefs are 100% right and you’ll get a bunch of twatters commenting. I remember posting a vid of me squatting 275x10 with what was IMO pretty good form. People absolutely freaked out and said all this stuff about I was going to destroy my knees. That may be true, but not squatting seems pretty bad for the knees as well
I think the time is finally getting closer. My stomach has been on fire for the last week, I’ve lost 10 pounds, and I haven’t eaten anything substantial in quite a while. Simply not eating feels better, so I don’t eat. I’m flaring up very badly! At this point, I’m still actively hoping that maybe I’ll slip and fall onto the train tracks one day, or that maybe my mom crashes her car into an exit sign on the freeway and kills us both. But, at this point, I’m not attempting anymore until I’m absolutely sure I’ll succeed, and that’s the part I’m working on.
Even being high doesn’t take away the physical pain anymore. It’s worse than ever, actually. As for mental anguish, my mom seems to have convinced everyone she knows, including my dad, that I am a danger to her and those around her, so she and my classmates (whose parents happen to be friends with my mom) simply avoid me. My psychiatrist filled me in on that.
She wants to kill me, I can sense it. She should do it. I told her that I wouldn’t even put up a fight, and she just walked away again.
The trajectory of my life from here on out looks very bleak, and is not something that I am interested in participating in. I will most likely be attending community college or no college at all, because
1.) I have no college fund, all of that money went towards my brother and his doctors/medications
2.) My chances at obtaining any kind of financial aid are negligible, because my parents pull in $150,000 a year. Most of the time, we still don’t have food in the house. I wonder where all that money goes? Oh yeah, into my mom’s pocket so she can cheat on my dad, or whatever it is she’s doing in her spare time because she doesn’t work a job. She steals money from my wallet, too.
3.) There are no more opportunities left for me to obtain any sort of merit-based scholarships to anywhere, because the schools I want to attend are going to take one look at my junior and senior year transcripts and throw my application into the trash. I have zero extracurriculars because none exist and my classes are unbearably easy. Also, there’s about a 95% chance that any respectable school I apply to won’t take any credits from the “school” I’m currently attending, which has become a haven for anti-vaxers and homeschooled Christians.
4.) My applications are all subpar because I can’t pull myself together enough to write a coherent supplementary essay, and that is the truth. They sound like garbage, and that’s my own fault. Unless I’m high, I’m in too much physical pain to do any sort of work. If I’m sober, I’m running to the bathroom every 10 minutes. This applies to work and school.
I don’t feel as though I’ve ever been so truly stuck in between a rock and a hard place as I am right now.
I wish I had a new body instead of this fucked-up piece of shit I’m currently inhibiting. The newest doctor I saw told me that he believes I may have IBD of the small intestine, which
1.) would account for my unexplained weight loss
2.) would account for my entirely clean and healthy colonoscopy/endoscopy
3.) is terrible news, because it’s lifelong, treatable in name only, and very prone to flare-ups during periods of stress.
In conclusion, fuck me. As I’m writing this, I’m puking at work and haven’t done a single productive thing all day because every time I try to get some work done, nature calls once again. Man, I don’t wanna be the next fucking Clint Darden.
I spent Saturday night in the hospital, had a seizure (reaction to the oral contrast I ingested for my stomach MRI), and almost died from dehydration (any water I drank came out of me in the 20+ bouts of diarrhea I had on Saturday). But, I’m finally feeling well enough to eat and train again. Time to pack on the 10 pounds I lost before my next squat session. Ugh. How strong can I get before the end of the year? My birthday is in 5 months, and my (sober and not high as shit on Adderall) deadlift is planted squarely at 455 or so. Maybe if I bulk to 200 pounds, I’ll pull 500 before I’m 18.
I also tweaked my lower back and left hip during the seizure I had. Soooo…I might be fucked. Idk. I’m gonna see how it feels at the end of the week and just focus on eating for now.
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The fact that you’re still attempting to train despite everything is already a HUGE win IMO. KEEP GOING!!! You’re amazing
Well, thank you, but it’s not looking great for me because my back is spazzing out every time I twist the wrong way. I really never thought I’d get injured like that, especially since it wasn’t my own doing. But, it happened and there’s nothing I can do about it except wait.
One of the weird and unfortunate consequences of making your muscles stronger is that they’re now stronger in EVERYTHING you do. The spasm you experienced was a stronger spasm than you would have experienced had you had weaker muscles, and most likely would have done less damage. I’ve caused painful cramps from overly aggressive yawns and have had vomiting bouts rack by whole body will significant pain since all of my muscles were contracting.
Take solace in the fact that you’re so strong your body can hurt itself like that. The plus side is, it tends to mean you’ll bounce back quicker too compared to those that get hurt and don’t have strength to fall back on.
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I hope you’re right. Thanks for the pep talk dude (no sarcasm here).
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Threw out my vaporizer today! Time for phase 2 - onto the snus, until I can wean myself down enough to quit entirely.
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Good move.
I’m tired of lifting weights. I’m always weaker come next workout. I’m also still nauseous 24/7, can’t eat, same old shit, and now my back and hip hurt. At least my stomach doesn’t have anything to expel when I’m not eating anything, because it’s not like I’m absorbing nutrients right now anyway.
Squats
315 x 2 and rack
225 x 15 + 5
225 x 10
When my back feels better and my belt isn’t loose, maybe I’ll come back. Until then, I have more important things to do with my time. I’m gonna go make some money at work instead of hurting myself lifting weights. It’s almost stupid how fixated I am on getting stronger when I can’t even make it through the day without having diarrhea or puking. So, I’m not stepping foot in a gym, touching a weight, or logging onto this site until I am 110% better. At least I can still play Ping-Pong. 
Peace everyone!
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