Getting Bullied at Uni: What to do?

[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
Jesus H Christ, your so-called ‘MMA classes’ must be utter crap.

I don’t know how long you’ve been doing them but they seem to have imparted ZERO mental fortitude in you. Let me guess, they show you some flashy/useful techniques, but forget to teach you that your real weapon is your mind not your fist.

Some juvenile penis gives you some crap and you dither around before ‘calling the authorities’ at 4am. No wonder you have lost a lot of your friends.

Actually no, scratch that last bit about losing friends. Those of us who lift and don’t drink and stay up late doing pointless shit often find that the initial circle of ‘friends’ at university quickly diminishes, so don’t worry about that; stay true to yourself and your healthy lifestyle.

BUT, find an new defence class. One where they show you the ‘philosophy’ of being ‘tough’, not just the physical techniques.

At the end of the day, there’s no shame in not using violence -as long as it’s a conscious descision and not just because you lack the wherewithall.

The idiot took advantage of your nature. IF your true nature was to let it slide because you realise he’s a drunk prick and you don’t want a criminal record for assaulting him, fine. If however you let it slide because you have no other option, then it’s time to GET some options, son.

That’s my opinion, for what it’s worth.

BBB[/quote]

Your opinion is worth a lot.

Aye I start to wonder if the MMA class is more “sport” then ass kickery. It does have me feeling like I should be in a billy banks workout video… But it seems to be helping with general GPP what with the grappling, mobility and energy systems work… plus the atmosphere is pretty good (I am very good at making friends in a physical activity).

[quote]Neospartan wrote:
My 2nd set of questions for the OP:

-Why the hell do you think that a little fight in a Univ. dorm is going to be a knife fight?
-Why do u have pull out a chem. book and do passive aggressive shit?
-Why do you think a fight is going cause a “big” issue in your dorm?
-Why do u think that by fighting the guy you are going to put him in a coma for 10yrs?

Dude its a college dorm!!!

[/quote]

-I don’t think this - Im just paranoid about people invading my personal space when I sleep. Thats why the knife was there. Plus the guy is WEIRD… as in CRAZY weird O_o
-As I said in response to marvel girls post… I got the impression everyone thought something had to be done and I reasoned that I didnt want a criminal record for some drunken soon to be dropout. But as I also said in that same post - Im not going to bother with it now.
-Not a big issue for the dorm but for me. What do you mean?
-I don’t think anything like this at all!

[quote]Professor X wrote:
People stop fucking with you (as a guy) mostly when you start carrying yourself like you shouldn’t be fucked with and actually look the part.

No advice given is going to magically build your self esteem. That is what your whole life is suppoosed to be used for. Most guys have been through enough shit by that age to not walk right into a situation where you become the joke.

You apparently need more life experience…and bigger balls.[/quote]

Im definatly missing out on a valuable area of life experience… something I hope to rectify at uni.

I hope that some way along the line here I can get into a couple of scraps… at least one I win and one I lose.

[quote]benmoore wrote:
Professor X wrote:
People stop fucking with you (as a guy) mostly when you start carrying yourself like you shouldn’t be fucked with and actually look the part.

No advice given is going to magically build your self esteem. That is what your whole life is suppoosed to be used for. Most guys have been through enough shit by that age to not walk right into a situation where you become the joke.

You apparently need more life experience…and bigger balls.

Im definatly missing out on a valuable area of life experience… something I hope to rectify at uni.

I hope that some way along the line here I can get into a couple of scraps… at least one I win and one I lose.[/quote]

You aren’t too bright then. I got into ONE fight in college, and it damn sure wasn’t because I was just looking for someone to fight. That was also the last time I had to. People quit testing me after that.

Your problem is with yourself, not with anyone else.

Throwing pee on your door is a dumb college kid move. The problem is, most guys who act like that are straight out of high school. Here you are at the age of 21 (the age many guys are GRADUATING COLLEGE or getting ready to) as if you should be acting like a 17 or 18 year old who is out of the house for the first time.

In summary, you are too old for that shit and for people to be taking advantage of you…but they do because you allow it.

You played around with the guy and then got butt hurt when the game didn’t go as planned.

Taking your ball and going home has always made you a pussy.

Either play the game or grow up and avoid it.

[quote]benmoore wrote:
Neospartan wrote:
My 2nd set of questions for the OP:

-Why the hell do you think that a little fight in a Univ. dorm is going to be a knife fight?
-Why do u have pull out a chem. book and do passive aggressive shit?
-Why do you think a fight is going cause a “big” issue in your dorm?
-Why do u think that by fighting the guy you are going to put him in a coma for 10yrs?

Dude its a college dorm!!!

-I don’t think this - Im just paranoid about people invading my personal space when I sleep. Thats why the knife was there. Plus the guy is WEIRD… as in CRAZY weird O_o
-As I said in response to marvel girls post… I got the impression everyone thought something had to be done and I reasoned that I didnt want a criminal record for some drunken soon to be dropout. But as I also said in that same post - Im not going to bother with it now.
-Not a big issue for the dorm but for me. What do you mean?
-I don’t think anything like this at all!
[/quote]

What did you do for the two years you were out of school?

Gotten into a lot of fights in my life, street and ring; had the shit kicked out of me plenty of times too when a 1v1 turned into a 1v4 when buddies realized their friend was getting a beat down. X is right, if you carry yourself properly and don’t start shit like I did, people wont fuck with you.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
benmoore wrote:
Neospartan wrote:
My 2nd set of questions for the OP:

-Why the hell do you think that a little fight in a Univ. dorm is going to be a knife fight?
-Why do u have pull out a chem. book and do passive aggressive shit?
-Why do you think a fight is going cause a “big” issue in your dorm?
-Why do u think that by fighting the guy you are going to put him in a coma for 10yrs?

Dude its a college dorm!!!

-I don’t think this - Im just paranoid about people invading my personal space when I sleep. Thats why the knife was there. Plus the guy is WEIRD… as in CRAZY weird O_o
-As I said in response to marvel girls post… I got the impression everyone thought something had to be done and I reasoned that I didnt want a criminal record for some drunken soon to be dropout. But as I also said in that same post - Im not going to bother with it now.
-Not a big issue for the dorm but for me. What do you mean?
-I don’t think anything like this at all!

What did you do for the two years you were out of school?[/quote]

Did some parkour coaching and became a ski instructor.

[quote]benmoore wrote:

Did some parkour coaching and became a ski instructor.[/quote]

If you were a ski instructor, you gained no sense of how to deal with people?

You didn’t instruct that many people, huh?

[quote]Professor X wrote:
benmoore wrote:
Professor X wrote:
People stop fucking with you (as a guy) mostly when you start carrying yourself like you shouldn’t be fucked with and actually look the part.

No advice given is going to magically build your self esteem. That is what your whole life is suppoosed to be used for. Most guys have been through enough shit by that age to not walk right into a situation where you become the joke.

You apparently need more life experience…and bigger balls.

Im definatly missing out on a valuable area of life experience… something I hope to rectify at uni.

I hope that some way along the line here I can get into a couple of scraps… at least one I win and one I lose.

You aren’t too bright then. I got into ONE fight in college, and it damn sure wasn’t because I was just looking for someone to fight. That was also the last time I had to. People quit testing me after that.

Your problem is with yourself, not with anyone else.

Throwing pee on your door is a dumb college kid move. The problem is, most guys who act like that are straight out of high school. Here you are at the age of 21 (the age many guys are GRADUATING COLLEGE or getting ready to) as if you should be acting like a 17 or 18 year old who is out of the house for the first time.

In summary, you are too old for that shit and for people to be taking advantage of you…but they do because you allow it.

You played around with the guy and then got butt hurt when the game didn’t go as planned.

Taking your ball and going home has always made you a pussy.

Either play the game or grow up and avoid it.[/quote]

As I said earlier - the guy was 25… older then me.

[quote]benmoore wrote:
Professor X wrote:
benmoore wrote:
Professor X wrote:
People stop fucking with you (as a guy) mostly when you start carrying yourself like you shouldn’t be fucked with and actually look the part.

No advice given is going to magically build your self esteem. That is what your whole life is suppoosed to be used for. Most guys have been through enough shit by that age to not walk right into a situation where you become the joke.

You apparently need more life experience…and bigger balls.

Im definatly missing out on a valuable area of life experience… something I hope to rectify at uni.

I hope that some way along the line here I can get into a couple of scraps… at least one I win and one I lose.

You aren’t too bright then. I got into ONE fight in college, and it damn sure wasn’t because I was just looking for someone to fight. That was also the last time I had to. People quit testing me after that.

Your problem is with yourself, not with anyone else.

Throwing pee on your door is a dumb college kid move. The problem is, most guys who act like that are straight out of high school. Here you are at the age of 21 (the age many guys are GRADUATING COLLEGE or getting ready to) as if you should be acting like a 17 or 18 year old who is out of the house for the first time.

In summary, you are too old for that shit and for people to be taking advantage of you…but they do because you allow it.

You played around with the guy and then got butt hurt when the game didn’t go as planned.

Taking your ball and going home has always made you a pussy.

Either play the game or grow up and avoid it.

As I said earlier - the guy was 25… older then me.[/quote]

Why are you screwing around with Super Seniors?

What is your major and how are you doing in your classes?

You seem focused on the wrong shit. People who have been in college for a decade may just hold you back if you let them.

Someone more focused with a more defined goal for college would likely care much less what every random fool who has been there that long cares about them.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
benmoore wrote:

Did some parkour coaching and became a ski instructor.

If you were a ski instructor, you gained no sense of how to deal with people?

You didn’t instruct that many people, huh?[/quote]

Actually I was a pretty good teacher.

As for dealing with people - fact is that 90% of the people WANTED to learn to ski so would listen to every damn thing I said.

I occasionally had school classes were there were little shits every now and again and I quickly learnt how to deal with them. The trick was to come in firm but fair right from the word go and never let them gain an inch. I have no idea how to apply that to non students however.

[quote]benmoore wrote:
Professor X wrote:
benmoore wrote:

Did some parkour coaching and became a ski instructor.

If you were a ski instructor, you gained no sense of how to deal with people?

You didn’t instruct that many people, huh?

Actually I was a pretty good teacher.

As for dealing with people - fact is that 90% of the people WANTED to learn to ski so would listen to every damn thing I said.

I occasionally had school classes were there were little shits every now and again and I quickly learnt how to deal with them. The trick was to come in firm but fair right from the word go and never let them gain an inch. I have no idea how to apply that to non students however.[/quote]

It works exactly the same.

Once you quit worrying about whether being firm will hurt someone’s feelings (assuming you are actually right in the first place) then you can learn to adjust your personality accordingly.

The same applies to all relationships. If you get hitched to some girl that you “allow” to walk over you once or twice, that will eventually be how she treats you in most circumstances.

That is just how the world works. The big dog rules the yard. The other puppies may hate in private, but deep down they know who can kick the shit out of them.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
benmoore wrote:
Professor X wrote:
benmoore wrote:
Professor X wrote:
People stop fucking with you (as a guy) mostly when you start carrying yourself like you shouldn’t be fucked with and actually look the part.

No advice given is going to magically build your self esteem. That is what your whole life is suppoosed to be used for. Most guys have been through enough shit by that age to not walk right into a situation where you become the joke.

You apparently need more life experience…and bigger balls.

Im definatly missing out on a valuable area of life experience… something I hope to rectify at uni.

I hope that some way along the line here I can get into a couple of scraps… at least one I win and one I lose.

You aren’t too bright then. I got into ONE fight in college, and it damn sure wasn’t because I was just looking for someone to fight. That was also the last time I had to. People quit testing me after that.

Your problem is with yourself, not with anyone else.

Throwing pee on your door is a dumb college kid move. The problem is, most guys who act like that are straight out of high school. Here you are at the age of 21 (the age many guys are GRADUATING COLLEGE or getting ready to) as if you should be acting like a 17 or 18 year old who is out of the house for the first time.

In summary, you are too old for that shit and for people to be taking advantage of you…but they do because you allow it.

You played around with the guy and then got butt hurt when the game didn’t go as planned.

Taking your ball and going home has always made you a pussy.

Either play the game or grow up and avoid it.

As I said earlier - the guy was 25… older then me.

Why are you screwing around with Super Seniors?

What is your major and how are you doing in your classes?

You seem focused on the wrong shit. People who have been in college for a decade may just hold you back if you let them.

Someone more focused with a more defined goal for college would likely care much less what every random fool who has been there that long cares about them.[/quote]

I felt that the older guys would be more mature then the 17-18 year olds…

In any case Im dropping them and getting on with my life.

Im going to grab an hours nap before max effort lower tonight… the assholes killed my sleep last night and I really really wanted to hit a new PR!

Go up to him…tell him your name…and tell him to stop acting like an idiot…

do this everyday until he stops…

you should have 100% belief that he will stop and that he will listen to every word you say…Do not care what anybody else says about you or what people think about you…

I’m sure this has been said but if you ain’t gettin respect, take it!

The world is not going to lay down for you. Have some ownership of your life.

Mac, post the video you were talking about.

[quote]benmoore wrote:
elnyka wrote:
benmoore wrote:
aznt0rk wrote:
nope… Call MTV and take them to Bully Beat Down.

You’ll earn some cash in the process.

I live in UK =[

Annoying thing is that at 98kg and some MMA training im semi confident of my ass kicking ability… Im definatly stronger then this guy but I dont know his experience - Which I know counts for a lot more.

Call the cops, report him to the University authorities and get a restraining order.

Just because you or anyone else in your situation does martial arts, that does not justify not using the tools that exist in society to protect your physical boundaries.

If that doesn’t work, then by all means whoop is ass. But you have no right to do so until you have exausted all civil and legal venues to solve this problem like a man worthy of having a university degree.

What a wonderfully mature and helpful response.

Restraining order feels a bit extreme - do we even that that here in the UK?

Any who what I DID do today is speak to housekeeping and reported what happened - mainly because its not so cool health and safety wise to have empty fire estinguisers laying around.

As I said before - if anything else stirs up then I’ll get physical. But in the mean time theres no need.
[/quote]

So you are going to wait until shit happens to take preventive action? Dude, you are being fucking retarded on that.

See, your concern about being too harsh (legaly) against someone who drop pee on your door shows you are being a pussy.

Stop being a pussy.

What the hell do you care if it’s too harsh on the dude. He threw body fluids in your vicinity. I’m not sure how the law is in the UK, but here in the US, in most states, it is considered an assault and a grave felony. It was an assault not only to your higiene and personal space, but to every person who passes around there as well as the janitors and house keepers.

Nothing brings reality to someone’s door like a police officer with an arrest warrant. A lot of people are too fucking stupid to realize such pranks (however juvenile they might be) are not acceptable. No society that I know of, past or present, would accept that kind of behavior.

And if he’s 25, then he is less deserving of your pussy mercy.

It is good that you reported the incident to the housekeepings.

But by the freaking balls of Odin, stop being a freaking victim. You are actually emphatizing with the fucking dude for Christ’s sake.

Put a stop to that shit by legal means (you will be doing the idiot a favor), don’t be an idiot and learn not to hang out with idiots (because you shouldn’t have been hanging with this idiot to begin with, much less doing horseplay), and get it done and over before it escalates into the physical.

Just because you might be a victim of a physical assault, that does not make you immune from legal retaliation should you attempt to defend yourself. You can defend yourself physically and still be liable for your attacker’s medical bills if he (or his lawyer) can argue you used excessive force.

It sucks but that’s the price to pay for living in a country of law (having been borned and raised in a war-torn country where everyone had a gun, I can tell you, I prefer to pay that price a million times.)

So stop being a pussy, and stop thinking a scrap with him is the solution. If it ever comes to that (and it will come to that if both of you are too retarded and juvenile to prevent it), at least make sure there is legal paperwork demonstrating you have been the victim to cover your bloody ass in front of a judge.

Seriously man, grow a pair. And a few neurons.

— edit —

Or better yet, stop any form of communication with this individual. Chances are, he has been seeking you out because somehow you have continue your interactions with him in one way or another.

Don’t worry about kicking his ass, worry about standing up for yourself. Right now he sees an easy target, plus the fact you are bigger than him makes him feel even more badass.

You seem intelligent so I am sure you can make him look stupid just by outsmarting him in a verbal confrontation. If the confrontation leads to something more so be it, but at least confront him.

WTF.

Throwing piss at someones door?

I would expect this to happen in a dorm with boys around 12-15 years of age, but at 18+ you are supposed to be a grown man.

I’m 26, been back in college for 3 years now. I went to sea at 16. I have yet to see a fight, or anything so fucking foolish as throwing piss on someones door.

That said… such disrespect cannot go unpunished. You’ve already rolled over and taken it up the ass this time. Forget the passive-aggressive fantasies, and next time he tries something, stand the fuck up for yourself.

Wow, people grow up slow in the UK and US, huh?

[quote]Mr.Purple wrote:

Wow, people grow up slow in the UK and US, huh?[/quote]

Not in my neighborhood.

Some of these people must be the type who drive 10 mph under the speed limit and cower if someone gets in their face…maybe even cry.

I think my parents would have kicked my ass if I grew up like that.