[quote]Cortes wrote:
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]Cortes wrote:
There is no such thing as equality. None. [/quote]
Cortes, thanks for the kind words to me in this thread. You described men and women as being like the heart and lungs. Not equal, but equally VITAL. Complementary parts. Thanks for trying to point out some of the nuances.
Our culture puts a high value on equality. And independence. BUT we can’t all be independent all the time. There is something to be gained in our interdependence. I like the idea of different, but complementary.
“Equality” can be very hard to try to measure. Is an apple equal to an orange? They are both fruit. It’s a one to one ratio. But you can’t say they are equal. That’s a bit how I see SOME of the aspects of a marriage. On many levels, we are just equal individuals. Or since we’re both religious, we know we are all equal to God. He is no respecter of persons.
[/quote]
PP, as usual, you and I appear to be pretty much of the same mind here. “Equally vital” is exactly what I intended to convey.
I decided not to get too deep into it this time because I’ve said it more than once in past threads of this nature, but I have NEVER suggested that the male role is in any way superior to the female. As far as a family goes, you need both. Humans DO possess both masculine and feminine traits, and the best arrangement we have is that of a mother and a father raising their children together, in harmony. That means that, despite any role he may assume, the father’s leadership is meaningless without the mother’s cooperation, and his so-called dominance is predicated upon the accord and happiness of the family he is charged with protecting and rearing.
There are certain roles that I just cannot do. I do not possess the kind of patient, nurturing, empathetic caregiver spirit that my wife is blessed with. There are times when my parenting style is not what my kids need, or times when I just don’t have the patience that she does in dealing with two whining, crying, complaining, house-wrecking, unappreciative, wonderful, cuddly, fun, precious awesome little boys.
There are other times, just as VITAL, but in a completely different sense, that my boys need someone to roughhouse and act stupid with, or, occasionally, they need to be made to understand an important lesson about a potentially dangerous truth in a way that (God how it annoys me that I have type out these parenthetical caveats typically) only a father can.
My wife and I complete each other. I do not hold myself above her, nor do I believe her to be one iota inferior to me. Indeed, she is a far better person than I am, and I consciously strive to be more like her. She is far less given to temptation or temper than I am. Much more patient. And orders of magnitude more selfless. I’m too often a slave to my passion and energy.
So, in what I hope to be my final definitive word on this subject in this thread, I would ask that people focus a little less on the dynamic of a power struggle (a false projection or outright misrepresentation) and a little more on that of a team of people, each fulfilling the role and duties for which he is biologically and innately suited, each working selflessly for the benefit of the whole before himself.
Does that make sense? [/quote]
After reading this I must come to the conclusion that you vastly underestimate how wonderful of a husband and father you must be. It is quite clear from this how much you love your wife and your boys. As lucky as you are to have her, it seems your wife and boys are equally lucky to have you as well. Very insightful post. As pretty much all your posts are.
Never responded to one of your posts before but was moved by this one 