Gabby Reece on Being Submissive

Off Topic
1

Gabby Reece - “To be truly feminine means being soft, receptive, - and look out, here it comes - submissive.”

Short article from the WSJ

Video Clip from the Today show (about 7 minutes)

She’s stirred up quite a lot of controversy with her use of the word “submissive”.

Thoughts?

Do you think this is backlash from the proponents of leaning-in and having-it-all? In other words, is the the pendulum swinging back a bit in terms of gender roles?

Is there is a biological component to men being more assertive, or women being more submissive? How does that work in a pragmatic sense of making a relationship balanced and happy?

Would the word “deferential” be better? Do you think it’s important for both partners to “be deferential” to the other?

2

All the chicks I’ve been with really, really liked being dominated in bed. They had no issue with being the submissive then. I think that means there’s something biological about it right? (hopefully this is relevant)

3

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

Would the word “deferential” be better? Do you think it’s important for both partners to “be differential” to the other?
[/quote]

Yeaaahhhhh…

Submissive probably has connotations by now that make it great for the bedroom but for little else.

On the other hand “equality” is BS.

In every emotional dyade, one person is the dominant one.

I think it should be the man, I also think that is because he has a shitton more testosterone than she has and that kind of matters when it comes to dominance.

Doesnt mean he has to be an ass about it.

See hyenas.

4

What’s your take on the subject, Puff?

5

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Gabby Reece - “To be truly feminine means being soft, receptive, - and look out, here it comes - submissive.”

Short article from the WSJ

Video Clip from the Today show (about 7 minutes)

She’s stirred up quite a lot of controversy with her use of the word “submissive”.

Thoughts?

Do you think this is backlash from the proponents of leaning-in and having-it-all? In other words, is the the pendulum swinging back a bit in terms of gender roles?

Is there is a biological component to men being more assertive, or women being more submissive? How does that work in a pragmatic sense of making a relationship balanced and happy?

Would the word “deferential” be better? Do you think it’s important for both partners to “be deferential” to the other?
[/quote]

I have actually always thought the bible did the best job explaining the husband-wife dynamic in Ephesians 5.

22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

I will say however that this scripture has been taken by domineering husbands that aren’t worth an ounce of respect to try and justify putting their wives under thumb which is one of the things I think that has given this passage such a bad wrap.

8

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Gabby Reece - “To be truly feminine means being soft, receptive, - and look out, here it comes - submissive.”

Short article from the WSJ

Video Clip from the Today show (about 7 minutes)

She’s stirred up quite a lot of controversy with her use of the word “submissive”.

Thoughts?

Do you think this is backlash from the proponents of leaning-in and having-it-all? In other words, is the the pendulum swinging back a bit in terms of gender roles?

Is there is a biological component to men being more assertive, or women being more submissive? How does that work in a pragmatic sense of making a relationship balanced and happy?

Would the word “deferential” be better? Do you think it’s important for both partners to “be deferential” to the other?
[/quote]

I believe she is using “submissive” in the Biblical context. The word does not mean “submissive” in the sense of being a doormat.

I am (or, rather try to be) a “submissive” wife in the Biblical context. I am not remotely a doormat.

– Mrs. Jewbacca

1 Like
9

I like strong women.

I have a strong personality, and I want a partner who is my equal.

I do not respect weak or submissive personalities, and I could not have a lasting relationship with someone with whom I do not deeply respect.

10

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
Gabby Reece - “To be truly feminine means being soft, receptive, - and look out, here it comes - submissive.”

Short article from the WSJ

Video Clip from the Today show (about 7 minutes)

She’s stirred up quite a lot of controversy with her use of the word “submissive”.

Thoughts?

Do you think this is backlash from the proponents of leaning-in and having-it-all? In other words, is the the pendulum swinging back a bit in terms of gender roles?

Is there is a biological component to men being more assertive, or women being more submissive? How does that work in a pragmatic sense of making a relationship balanced and happy?

Would the word “deferential” be better? Do you think it’s important for both partners to “be deferential” to the other?
[/quote]

I believe she is using “submissive” in the Biblical context. The word does not mean “submissive” in the sense of being a doormat.

I am (or, rather try to be) a “submissive” wife in the Biblical context. I am not remotely a doormat.

– Mrs. Jewbacca [/quote]

So say Mr. Jewbacca comes home and demands his wife get her own T-Nation account, what does Mrs. Jewbacca do?

Or better yet, what if LankyMofo demands Mrs. Jewbacca get her own T-Nation account, what does Mrs. Jewbacca do?

11

I think you guys are missing the point. A woman can be submissive and still have a strong personality. And in every relationship there is a submissive partner. When you disagree on something (can be anything from disciplining kids to making a large purchase), who gets to have the final say? My wife will have her opinion on everything and let me know what it is but I almost always decide the way we will go. And I don’t always choose my way. Sometimes I have to be aware enough to know that she is right and her way was best but even still I decided what the final decision would ultimately be.

This is not a you are my wife, you have to do what I say type thing. This is a we both communicate, but she will look to me to make the final decision because I am the man. I have never dominated my wife or ordered her to do anything, it is just the roles we naturally assumed. I think there is definitely something primal there, because I am stronger and more capable physically therefore I have the role of dominance because I am the protector and provider. Also outside of our marriage every one is equal. My boss is female and I have the same level of respect for her that I would for a male boss. And if any man thought that they were going to order my wife around I would probably have to pull her off of them.

12

You guys should definitely read “The Way of the Superior Man”, by David Deida. He really dives deep into how contemporary society has made it so that most women are more masculine and most men are becoming more feminine. We might be predisposed to believe we like more dominant woman, and that fact is totally okay, but by nature, atleast in western society, women are to yield to their men. They’re more submissive based on that sexual aura. It’s how humans are to the core. I prefer submissive women, but sometimes I want to be dominated by a fiery bully of a seductress.

Anyway, that book really offers great perspectives, including the subjects of this thread. Should totally read!

13

EyeDentist - My thoughts on the subject? You first. I promise not to flame you too badly. To be honest, her thoughts resonated with me. I think she’s right, although I admit the word submissive makes me a little bit defensive. :slight_smile: I don’t believe she’s supporting anything retrograde in terms of the women’s movement. She’s talking about what works for her and her husband. I believe the majority of women prefer to a man who is dominant in terms of being strong, and being able to protect and provide. There may be a multitude of permutations as to how this gets applied in any given relationship, division of labor, etc…but I think that principle is true and as someone else pointed out, it’s fairly primal.

bpick - About the scripture, I think the “love his wife as himself” part is key. That implies a kindness, and Christlike love there. If you don’t have a good man, there is always the chance that there will be some tyranny. Most of us have seen what that looks like. As they say, “Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

Orion - I was hoping you’d chime in. I never gave Testosterone any thought at all until I started lifting. In many ways we ARE our hormones. And I like the idea of “deference” to each other, meaning mutual respect. I’d agree that because men and women are so different, there isn’t going to be true equality but in a really good relationship they are two complementary parts that together make up a whole.

Mrs. Jewbacca - You had me at “not remotely a doormat.”

Funny story - When I was in graduate school, I had to administer lots and lots of intelligence tests for practice. I was dating my husband at the time, and so I talked him to taking a couple of them for me. Yeah. Well, he’s smarter than me. I knew that before I tested him, but now I had proof! So, I married someone who is not only bigger, stronger, but he’s even smarter. How many of you would choose to do that? Apparently I didn’t have a thing with him being more dominant, or I guess I did, depending on how you look at it!

14

Men are stronger physically and can be mentally overpowering as a result.

Dominant women are just a turn off and become hilarious the longer they go on about how they love to dominate men at work or in the bedroom. As a guy who outsizes most women on earth, its hard for me to even imagine a woman trying to dominate me.

Unless she is a whale.

15

[quote]strongmanvinny wrote:
You guys should definitely read “The Way of the Superior Man”, by David Deida. [/quote]

x2. Good stuff. Although the way he communicates is weird sometimes.

16

Sounds like Gabby read some of the 50 Shades trilogy.

17

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
bpick - About the scripture, I think the “love his wife as himself” part is key. That implies a kindness, and Christlike love there. If you don’t have a good man, there is always the chance that there will be some tyranny. Most of us have seen what that looks like. As they say, “Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
[/quote]

I 100% agree. I tried to make that perfectly clear in that book of a post I wrote a couple posts up. My Dad always told me that if you wanted a woman to respect you, you have to live like you are worth respecting. If her respect and submission is not freely given because of the way she looks at you after she gets to know your true character, then what she has for you is not respect but fear. And if your wife fears you then you are not a man but a fear-driven child.

And as I put in the disclaimer after that verse, I am fully aware that first half of those verses have been cited by more abusive husbands in the name of religion than I care to think about because it puts me in a very poor mood.

18

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

I believe she is using “submissive” in the Biblical context. The word does not mean “submissive” in the sense of being a doormat.

I am (or, rather try to be) a “submissive” wife in the Biblical context. I am not remotely a doormat.

– Mrs. Jewbacca [/quote]

The thought of 6’3" Gabby Reece being a doormat made me smile. That’s more of an area rug.

I assume you mean that you are willing to follow, as long as he’s leading with love and with your welfare at heart. You are a physician, as I recall. So, think it’s safe to assume that Jewbacca isn’t married to a 1950’s housewife. :slight_smile: I’m always curious about how other couples apply this.

19

I’m not sure what the point of this even is. It should be obvious to any one over the age of 15 that there men and women of all varieties and that we all manage to get laid and have relationships, successful and unsuccessful regardless of our gender stereotype fulfillment except for those who are just too fucked up to fit into society.

Other than wanting to sell books I can’t understand the need to tell other women, many enjoying successful relationships, how to behave.

And as to the biological question–if it were ‘natural’ and hard wired for us to be a certain way, we would just be it and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Anyhow I look pretty feminine, but I can’t say I act it and I’ve never had any problems finding or ‘holding on’ to a man.

20

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

I believe she is using “submissive” in the Biblical context. The word does not mean “submissive” in the sense of being a doormat.

I am (or, rather try to be) a “submissive” wife in the Biblical context. I am not remotely a doormat.

– Mrs. Jewbacca [/quote]

The thought of 6’3" Gabby Reece being a doormat made me smile. That’s more of an area rug.

I assume you mean that you are willing to follow, as long as he’s leading with love and with your welfare at heart. You are a physician, as I recall. So, think it’s safe to assume that Jewbacca isn’t married to a 1950’s housewife. :slight_smile: I’m always curious about how other couples apply this. [/quote]

…

So, if you want to be all grown up about it?

You know that he will make mistakes, right?

Sometimes because he did not listen to you, sometimes because he did.

I think the trick is to take it with grace.