Functional Bombardment

Off Topic
61

i really wanted to rip this guys fucking head off today.

hes making us do workouts with a medicine ball. and me and my partner are doing chest apss and he says something about the chest and i say yea, really feel the burn in the triceps. then this little seabiscuit rider looking motherfucker comes up and is like,“youve had a bad attitude since we started blahblah” im like, ok seriously tell me what im doing so i dont do it again and hes like you think you know everything blahblah. im just ok, whatever and stay.

i like to say little things from time to time because im a person who likes to makes jokes and stuff. apparently he got all pissed off earlier when we were holding our “bottom position” on bodyweight squats and im just chillen because im so low. hes like thats too low. im like, you can never squat too low and he goes oh whered you hear that in a muscle magazine? then he said some shit about doing the same workout for 10 years and im like nah, ive only been lifting for 2. which shut him up probaly cause hes all of 90lbs and has been doing it for god knows how long. HAHA no pecs for you skrimp.

im just going to go up to him tomorrow and pull him to the side and explain that the reason im using low weights etc is because i train for a very specific reason and i take it very seriously. if i exhaust myself right now through cardio im not going to be able to work out how i want afterwards. im still willing to participate and observe but i cant fatigue myself or else my gains will hinder. i understand the place of these movements and just because im into bodybuilding doesnt mean im going to train every single person the way i do because the last thing on the mind of a person 40lbs overweight is entering a contest.

…and yes there is no soul in this business. its just about getting people in the gym to buy training packs. honestly, half the people get told if they dont sign up theyll die. theres no dignity in how we train people, theres no dignity in the fitness industry whatsoever. its cut-throat make a buck however you can.

i dont think ill ever get to train a normal person because 1 training session is $60 and the only people who will pay that are people who have to decide between hospital bills or PT. im thinking about moving into sales because id be more comfortable just selling memberships.

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[quote]Blaze_108 wrote:
You’re being civil in your responses to the functional training bit. You were just being somewhat rude on the your perception of his physique. I’d rather have someone his size than someone my weight and height, even if they are more cut, for a pt.

and i agree. hitting her is pretty much a cure-all.[/quote]

Ah, see I’m not ragging on his physique per se, rather I’d personally prefer to be trained by someone who is (initially) bigger than I.

FWIW, if hitting her fails (and it sometimes does), then PIITB.

63

[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
i really wanted to rip this guys fucking head off today.

hes making us do workouts with a medicine ball. and me and my partner are doing chest apss and he says something about the chest and i say yea, really feel the burn in the triceps. then this little seabiscuit rider looking motherfucker comes up and is like,“youve had a bad attitude since we started blahblah” im like, ok seriously tell me what im doing so i dont do it again and hes like you think you know everything blahblah. im just ok, whatever and stay.

i like to say little things from time to time because im a person who likes to makes jokes and stuff. apparently he got all pissed off earlier when we were holding our “bottom position” on bodyweight squats and im just chillen because im so low. hes like thats too low. im like, you can never squat too low and he goes oh whered you hear that in a muscle magazine? then he said some shit about doing the same workout for 10 years and im like nah, ive only been lifting for 2. which shut him up probaly cause hes all of 90lbs and has been doing it for god knows how long. HAHA no pecs for you skrimp.

im just going to go up to him tomorrow and pull him to the side and explain that the reason im using low weights etc is because i train for a very specific reason and i take it very seriously. if i exhaust myself right now through cardio im not going to be able to work out how i want afterwards. im still willing to participate and observe but i cant fatigue myself or else my gains will hinder. i understand the place of these movements and just because im into bodybuilding doesnt mean im going to train every single person the way i do because the last thing on the mind of a person 40lbs overweight is entering a contest.

…and yes there is no soul in this business. its just about getting people in the gym to buy training packs. honestly, half the people get told if they dont sign up theyll die. theres no dignity in how we train people, theres no dignity in the fitness industry whatsoever. its cut-throat make a buck however you can.

i dont think ill ever get to train a normal person because 1 training session is $60 and the only people who will pay that are people who have to decide between hospital bills or PT. im thinking about moving into sales because id be more comfortable just selling memberships. [/quote]

Wow, what kind of gym is that certification from?

I’m halfway through a 3 month certification program and it’s nothing like you describe. The trainer I work with would fail me in an instant if I suggested all that rolling around on swiss ball stuff.

I’m assuming you’ve already paid for the course, so it’s best just to listen up and do what they say. Like everyone else says, once you are certified you can train people as you see fit, but maybe at a better gym?

64

[quote]Tiribulus wrote:
Regular Gonzalez wrote:
Wow,

People need to train to be able to lift groceries.

Great quote I never forgot from Charles Staley who wrote:
In my opinion, most of what’s passed off as “functional training” today is really the unskilled and inappropriate application of rehabilitation protocols on healthy people.
[/quote]

I just love the lack of logic many people seem to possess when it comes to “functional training”. I have heard people claim that squats aren’t functional for football players as you don’t have a bar on your back during a football match. That logic doesn’t sound so bad until you consider the fact that you don’t exactly play football while standing on a bosu ball either.

[quote]
On another note, that is bar none the funniest avatar I’ve ever seen ROFLMAO!!! My daughter and I are just now getting the tears of our faces.[/quote]

I’m glad you liked it

I remember watching that clip on Australia’s funniest home video show with my brother when I was about 6 years old and laughing my ass off.

65

[quote]skaz05 wrote:
Regular Gonzalez wrote:
Wow,

People need to train to be able to lift groceries.

Last time I went shopping, I was able to carry all my groceries to my third floor apartment in one trip. This included a gallon of milk and 4 gallons of water.

I. Fucking. Rule.[/quote]

Good stuff,

Was that a PR?

Also, how do you train for your grocery lifting?

I prefer the conjugate system, where I alternate between max effort lifts (eg milk) and dynamic lifts (eg lifting bread with as much acceleration as possible). I take BCAA’s during the session to avoid catabolism.

66

Live, you seem to have a shitty attitude about the whole process. Which is probably typical with a place like Bally’s.
You could move into sales, or you could try getting certified on your own and trying another gym.

Don’t base your decisions off of your experience at Bally’s.

67

its cause this guy is a fucking tool. btw, its not a “certification” its a mandatory instruction for new PTs at Ballys. this guy think hes hot shit and thinks his bosu balls are infallable. i attended an ACSM workshop and the people treated me nothing like he does…considering we didnt do too much hands on stuff but if i asked a question or made a suggestion they wouldnt be so defensive, theyd actually have a discussion with you instead of trying to make you feel ignorant.

maybe if i didnt read so many anti-bosu things on this very site. things backed up by science that explains how it does NOT improve balance.

68

I have to agree with the whole “suck it up for now and get through the class” mentality. If this is for a job and the instructor is your supervisor he might not give you to many clients if he has a bad impression towards you.

On the other hand I’m somewhat in the same spot as you. I’m a “sports performance coach” at a clinic that attempts to cater to athletes. When I was interning there I observed one coach working with two USL-1 (one step below MLS) guys. He essentially only used rubber tubing, bosu balls, and the agility ladder. I’ve been following the team this year and the two athletes haven’t been doing so well.

Just recently after I got hired on they handed over a guy who was trying to gain size/strength for jr. national hockey. Before I got him he was doing the whole squat/curl, squat/press, lunge/whatever exercises with 20lb dumbbells. He made no progress.

I went out and made my own set of sandbags (200 lbs worth) and stole a sled from my old highschool, alternated workouts between sandbags for strength and sleds/running for speed/stamina. He put on some weight and went from barely cleaning a 75lb bag to 125lb bag with ease. Granted, part of that is due to getting accustomed to the movement, but there is no way he would have made strength gains sticking with 20lb dumbbells.

So the moral of the story…suck it up and deal with the trainer and when you get your own clients do what you know works. As much as you can learn from reading a book, you learn so much more by doing things yourself.

my apologies if this post is all over the place

69

[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
its cause this guy is a fucking tool. btw, its not a “certification” its a mandatory instruction for new PTs at Ballys. this guy think hes hot shit and thinks his bosu balls are infallable. i attended an ACSM workshop and the people treated me nothing like he does…considering we didnt do too much hands on stuff but if i asked a question or made a suggestion they wouldnt be so defensive, theyd actually have a discussion with you instead of trying to make you feel ignorant.

maybe if i didnt read so many anti-bosu things on this very site. things backed up by science that explains how it does NOT improve balance. [/quote]

They’re hiring you for a position and therefore have the right to tell you to do, wear, and say whatever they want while in their employ. Either do it their way or find somewhere else to work. In a case like this it’s only matter of time and probably not much of it before they fire you anyway for not following their protocols. I missed the details the first time. My mistake.

70

no the guy who runs this seminar b.s. is just a guy who runs the b.s. he doesnt work at my gym but he works for Ballys and actually has some power since he kicked one guy out who was laughing w/ some others while he demonstrated manual resistence squats…basically getting behind another man and putting his hands on his hips, the guy he kicked out cant work for ballys til he writes an apology or some other b.s.

man if i could work with hockey, football, wrestlers or any other sport really id be so happy. but the reality is its going to be 99% fat loss clients and fat loss is probaly the least enjoyable thing for me to teach to anyone. while you may not call it a “background” per se, what got me into this lifestyle was bodybuilding and adding muscle, thats what i know how to do. ive never even had to lose weight before so my firsthand knowledge is somewhat limited. i wish i got sent stick figures left and right, id be so happy to take skinny guys and make them respectable.

plus the sales aspect seems so much easier than PT. id think itd be a lot easier for me to convince someone to buy a 40 dollar monthly membership than an hour long 60 dollar session…that theyre going need anywhere from 12-48 of.

sales is easy, just apply pressure in a smooth way. im good at reading people anyway, like i can kinda see what theyre really thinking and feeling so i think i can use that to my advantage. i just really dont want to work with obese people.

71

[quote]Tiribulus wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
its cause this guy is a fucking tool. btw, its not a “certification” its a mandatory instruction for new PTs at Ballys. this guy think hes hot shit and thinks his bosu balls are infallable. i attended an ACSM workshop and the people treated me nothing like he does…considering we didnt do too much hands on stuff but if i asked a question or made a suggestion they wouldnt be so defensive, theyd actually have a discussion with you instead of trying to make you feel ignorant.

maybe if i didnt read so many anti-bosu things on this very site. things backed up by science that explains how it does NOT improve balance.

They’re hiring you for a position and therefore have the right to tell you to do, wear, and say whatever they want while in their employ. Either do it their way or find somewhere else to work. In a case like this it’s only matter of time and probably not much of it before they fire you anyway for not following their protocols. I missed the details the first time. My mistake.[/quote]

well we can train people however we want, this is just like a general overview or whatever. im just gonna stay away form the people ive been joking with and get these last two days over with. im gonna tell him why i havent been doing the exercises with intensity and also let em know i got a shoulder injury from yesterday so im not doing any lame ass DB press squats to aggravate it.

btw as the shldr inj. goes its a joint pain right under the medial delt head, is that a rotator cuff problem or what?

72

[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
man if i could work with hockey, football, wrestlers or any other sport really id be so happy.[/quote]
I don’t know if I mentioned it on the Trainers Talking Shop thread, but you might want to look into interning with Eric Cressey/Tony Gentilcore at Cressey Performance. They’re up in Hudson, Mass. Is that anywhere near you?
http://cresseyperformance.com/www.cresseyperformance.com/internships.html

That would be a great opportunity for you professionally and education-wise.

I do get the impression that you’d excel at sales. I mean that in a positive way. Maybe look into it, if you’re drawn more to that.

73

[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
im gonna tell him why i havent been doing the exercises with intensity and also let em know i got a shoulder injury from yesterday so im not doing any lame ass DB press squats to aggravate it.

btw as the shldr inj. goes its a joint pain right under the medial delt head, is that a rotator cuff problem or what?[/quote]

Ha, dude, pop trainer quiz #1… you tell us. :wink:

Depends on what you did before you noticed it. I’ve had some serious shoulder DOMS that I would’ve sworn was a rotator cuff tear 'til I realized I did 8x8 DB laterals two days prior.

74

[quote]Vicomte wrote:
Honestly, this groceries thing is annoying the shit out of me. Who can’t lift groceries? Who the fuck can’t lift their own fucking groceries? How is training with weights lighter than the already very light groceries going to help with the lifting of the groceries that can already be easily lifted? Who deadlifts groceries?

Surely grocery lifting is more like a sandbag rack pull from waist-height, only using your arms? So not like a DL at all? Why is there suddenly technique involved with lifting groceries? I just pick them up. Fuck.[/quote]

Well then son, you risk pulling a groin doing your groceries. I hope to hell you do some active stretching for vacuuming or any injuries will be your own damn fault.

75

On another note you may as well get used to working for incompetent dweebs if you plan on being in this industry and not in business for yourself. I’m sure there’s exceptions (somewhere), but idiotic infomercial bullshit is the order of the day and it’s what sells. If you’re not willing to look people in the eye and tow the company line even sales may not be for you.

76

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
Vicomte wrote:
Honestly, this groceries thing is annoying the shit out of me. Who can’t lift groceries? Who the fuck can’t lift their own fucking groceries? How is training with weights lighter than the already very light groceries going to help with the lifting of the groceries that can already be easily lifted? Who deadlifts groceries?

Surely grocery lifting is more like a sandbag rack pull from waist-height, only using your arms? So not like a DL at all? Why is there suddenly technique involved with lifting groceries? I just pick them up. Fuck.

Well then son, you risk pulling a groin doing your groceries. I hope to hell you do some active stretching for vacuuming or any injuries will be your own damn fault.[/quote]

I do the laundry twice a week with some dusting work for recovery. I still can’t open the refrigerator with one hand, but I’ve been increasing reps on the sliding glass door. I hit a PR with nine reps today (I only made it halfway on ten). DOMS is a bitch on such a high-volume program. You punks wouldn’t last a day.

77

today was rediculous, we get into 2 lines because were going to be training someone for 45 minutes and whoever is infront of you is who youre training. the kid infront of me is a cool dude, guess he reads T-Nation too, and i look at him and im like, dude he doesnt need this shit bosu b.s. and he better not even think about doing it with me.

so i raise my hand and ask, “do you want us to train each other like were going to be training majority of the people thatll be coming in?” and they say, no because not everyone is the same. im like ok lol.

so we get out there and this kid starts having me push a sled, i cant even keep it straight so that doesnt last long then hes like ok RDL’s…im like lol r u srs? load that bitch up to 315. i crank out 5 reps and get all anabolic, start talking about when people ask me what im training for im gonna say to make small children run away lol.

and since i kept telling him like dude, todays my arms day can we just do my arms workout so i dont have to do it later? but he wouldnt, which sucked, but i convinced him to let me to close grip benching and i did a set of 225 for 5. i guess my fitness director was standing behind him the whole time and was like, yea you cant do that cause its not realistic…im like you said for us to train each other the way we’d train…then the kid just signled for me to stop and the FD walked away.

after we got in discuessed how we were trained and the FD starts going on about how inappropriate it is to be benching 2 plates. and how we cant use dumbbells above 35lbs on clients…like wtf are you serious right now? and he said REGARDLESS OF GOALS. like if i get a 30-something who wants to get in some good shape and put on muscle size, im supposed to say no, i cant train you with legitment weight? this place is a fucking joke.

78

sales would be easy though. as a PT i have to do sales anyway but on a more retarded level because a 48 pack of sessions costs over $2,000. whereas a gym membership is $20-40 a month. if someone walks into the gym, they already want to make a change, it isnt going to be hard to get them to sign up…its fucking cake. i got 2 people i know in the gym just because i go. i meet people all the time and its easy as hell to convince them to get in shape especially if its a guy and youre bigger then him, it makes him feel immasculated and hell probaly get into the gym.

im looking at it like this, im gonna ask the sales manager what he thinks i should do and if its a no go then im going to apply to a couple other gyms close by. i also want to give PT a legit chance too, going into it with a poor attitude isnt going to help out in any way. ugh, fitness sucks.

79

$20-40 a month? Holy fuck, I was paying $20 a week before I started lifting at home.

80

hope it was a nice gym, im paying $25 a month for my membership.