OMG I suck so hard at life
-Drinking will ruin your training, work and stomach for a week…gets drunk
-Stomach finally feeling better…eats family salsa with a scoville rating of all of it
-playing poker in the AM has proven to be a disaster…plays in AM losing 10+ buys to spend rest of day trying to get even…repeat for months on end
I know there is some disastrous design flaw with in me. Like if the Death Star kept shooting its own thermal exhaust port.
If I am being real I wouldnt take back the time Wifey and I spent day drinking at the mall like we did in our younger years. I might have dranked a bit less though. Everything else in that list though is inexcusable.
Any who…
AM Weight: 95.95kg No surprise here. Barely ate or drank yesterday and the only reason this wasnt lower was because it was taken at 2am…thanks dietsomnia!!!
Yea really mailed this one in. Stomach was all sorts of messed up and I was feeling hella weak for barely eating yesterday. On the plus side upper arms are coming in and more ab veins are saying hello.
Despite that I am very happy with the triple. Last week I wanted 4+ at 385 but going in today I would have been happy with a just getting a single at 385.
OK since its a day ending in Y I bombed my bankroll this morning and have to spend the rest of the day trying to get even.
Going to try some things to get me on a better path. I think I know the whys and hows so as quick as possible:
Wake up: Eat
Go to Bed or Gym (NO POKER)
Eat
Work Rest of Day
Gym Again as desired
Drinking wont be an issue for a while (until I forget how sick it made me) and I will burn that bridge with Ice Cream.
So basically I will use the Gym and Ice Cream to combat insomnia fueled terrible decisions and Alcoholism. Just call me Life Coach…Duct Tape Life Coach LOL
AM Weight: 96.8kg Super thrilled with that. I had a little bit of junk last night and drank a ton of water through out the night and right before weighing in so I really thought that should have been a LOT higher.
HIGH DAY OK my high days didnt work out but I think I could still benefit (I am more worried about good workouts than weight loss right now). So high day today. Probably going to be north of 3300 cals.
High Day is Moving: I am moving my high days to Wednesday and Sunday. I think that having them the day before Legs will be better and having them on an easier training day will make it easier to eat more. Also having them on Sunday means some kind of date with Wifey. Check ins moved to Sunday with the Magic Mirrors.
OK time to NOT grind. Breakfast #2 is waiting. I already had a tomale , banana and 2 Quesadilla’s. Eggs and Rice on Deck.
Workout #1 Delts + Tris
Uni Lat Pulldown
Lateral Raise
Dum Back Fly
Dum OHP 3x15@50
Tricep Rope Down
Dum Skullcrusher
Rev Grip Tri X
Sick pump, crushed Delts…will need to go less volume on OHP. I can hit 100s for 15+ but a 3x15 with 50s destroyed my delts.
Workout #2: Bis and Abs
Hammer Curl 3x10@45
Alt Dum Curl 3x10@20
Rev Grip EZ Curl
Uni Preacher Curl
Double Crunch and Bikes
Adjusting Bicep workout a smidge because the bicep vein I want isn’t coming in so maybe I need something different. Also adding bikes into ab work to hopefully bring out vertical lines…which is obv terrible bro science and the only thing that will really bring everything out is a low BF%.
FUCKING HEART BROKEN
I did everything perfect today. I didn’t play in the am. I slept extra. Studied. Then I played brilliantly and got absolutely fucked all day. I have never ran this bad in my life. I am certain pokerstars is rigged. Ever since they added the cash out option it has been fkt.
AM Weight: 97.95kg OK so I have 3 days to lose 2kg. Honestly that is a bunch of water so it should come off in time. My belt was easily fitting on the 4.5 hole today so waist despite feeling hella bloated actually wasnt.
Legs
Squats
2@550
3x10@250
Leg Press
Ham Curl
RDLs
I misgrooved both reps at 550 oops. Still getting my sea legs with high bar but the strength is there for 6 plates. 590 is the number I want on HB Squats to make another run at 800+. The run would mean upping drugs and body weight.
OK poker has been less disastrous today but still running as well as a butt hole would…because butt holes dont have legs so how could they run?
AM Weight: 96.45kg Weight dropped faster than I expected so I actually planned a highish day and 2 workouts. However after my first workout I took the opportunity to have a bit of fun and eat some junk. That was at like noon and then I went home and took a 3 hour nap and am still not hungry. That tends to happen with cheat meals for me which is why I think they work so well for me.
Delts felt a bit beat up then I remembered I did OHP on Wednesday which isn’t normal so as long as I feel good Tuesday I won’t be worried.
Pokerz I played about 40 minutes this morning, booked a win and quit for the day. That is probably why I slept a 3 hour nap. With out the anticipation of playing my brain could turn off.
Comedy Gold: these dudes are fkn hilarious. Cliff notes are a couple of world class chess players getting their drank on dancing and playing 3 minute chess.
“Hey Mister” In my Head: Lady how old do you think I am???
“Have you been dieting, you look leaner?”
Why yes!!! Thank you!! In my head: Awwwe well isnt she just the nicest…uh ok I guess I am lucky to not be called grandpa LOL
AM Weight: Uhhh Ooohhhh LOL I literally said that when I saw it said 97.1kg. Honestly I wont be that upset if I miss my target because my abs looked sharper and my waist slimmer today. Usually you get one or the other until you make it past the initial stages of your cut where you look smaller and fatter as glycogen depletes and before fat loss truly begins.
Back
Deads
1@495
3x10@315
Pullups
Cable Rows
Uni Lat Pulldown
Dum Back Fly
Trying to train back after Deads makes it very clear to me why my back has always been my strength. I always did Deads on Leg day and the following day smashed a full heavy back workout. Repeat twice a week for the better part of a decade. Today after deads Pullups were hard AF and the weights I used were down over 30% to what I normally use.
OK booked another poker win so might take the W or might work a bit later but right now I just finished a meal and am FKN starving so today gonna suck but we might make that weight yet.
Sunday Check In: Fuuuuuuuuaaaack Direct quote from seeing scale. I do look better than last week especially in the back so not upset but I did not lose weight so this week it is time to get a bit more serious.
AM weight: 97.1kg
Waist 96cm
Vacuum 90cm
Right Arm 45.5cm
Left arm 44.5cm
19.6% Body Fat
So over the week I do look better, waist got a smidge bigger and 1 arm got bigger and the other smaller so idk wtf is going on LOL
Gunz w/Wifey
Tricep Rope
Dum Skull Crusher
Hammer Curl
Alt Iso Curls
Dum Back Fly
Breakfast at Torreon Tiffany’s…actually I have no idea what kind of place Tiffany’s is but we went to Los Amores and loved it. I had the Chocolate Nachos (Mole Chilaquilles) and Wifey had the Tomato Nachos (Tomaquilles).
AM Weight: 97.1kg…scale broken??? I drank a ton of water and stepped back on to make sure the scale moved and it is not broken.
Diet Adjustements: I had been running the 50-50 rule…you know 50% good food and 50% trash. Now I am going to get a bit more serious. 2600 cals base diet with a TON less junk.
Poker was fun this morning. I went 4-21 on flips. I am playing amazing though so fk off this stupid fucking website. Seriously hate this fucking everything.
Ugh Legs
Pause Squat 1 @ 410
3*5@320
Deadlift 3x10@135
Leg Press Machine
Yea was having issues blacking out on Pause Squats. This tends to happen on Mondays which makes me think its all the sugar in my diet fkn with me as Sundays are usually my worst days of the week.
Then everything else just felt heavy AF (and rusty) which is probably from Deads on Saturday. Still did deads today because I dont know a better way to train Hamstrings. Also its a more reps = better reps thing. Last reason, as far as fat loss goes I dont know a better movement to burn calories. Which reason is the most important idk but they each seem like a good reason to Deadlift.
Diet Adjustments (read less sugar): Scripted 2600. I will still use Ketchup or BBQ sauce as wanted but I wont be doing the candy cheat meals. I expect this will have several positive effects. Less achy joints, less blackouts, my waist will come in and weight should come down and I will probably have to fight some cravings.
Legends of Tomorrow Season 4 Probably my favorite season. After they got rid of Rip the seasons got better. Lighter, funnier and goofier.
OK since I cheated on my Wife I have to rewatch the last 2 episodes of Legends now. By cheated I of course mean I watched it with out her.
Operation Mini BULK!!! Juuuust kidding, my fat ass was 99.05kg this morning. Delayed onset fatness from Sunday I guess. I am back on the wagon though and going to cut out junk cheats until I am much lighter.
Workout #1: Boobies
Bench
2.87@405
3x10@225
Dum OHP 30@40s
Cross Press
Unilateral Tricep Rope Down
Dum Skull Crusher
3 at 405 would have matched an all time PR but even 99kg is about 3 or 4kg lighter than I was for that PR. Added Triceps to my Boobie workout so tomorrow I can focus totally on Biceps.
Upper Boobies: CROSS PRESS John Meadows talks about letting the Shoulder round forward to activate the upper chest more. Cross pressing just takes that movement to another level. Try it and I doubt you will be let down.
Workout #2: Back
Pullups 3x10
Yates Row 5x10@225
Uni Lat Pulldown
Uni Cable ROw
Good workout. Switching to Yates Row to shift more emphasis to my lower back/lat area rather than upper back which is over powering in comparison.
OK, despite running like trash still it was a good day on the tables and I am gonna chill with wifey…we have no shows to watch
AM Weight 97.7kg Most of the Bloat is gone from yesterday. I am lean enough to where I can locate fat pockets rather than just a blanket of fat. I mean there are a ton of pockets but it isnt a parka anymore.
Diet/Appetite: As the bloat subsides my insane appetite is coming back so thats fun. Today we are on that Coleman diet and tomorrow I will evaluate based on weight and amount of suffering I do today.
Bro Pump
Hammer Curls
Alt Dum Curls
Rev Grip EZ Curls
Unilateral Preacher Machine
Lateral Raises
Double Crunches
I actually smashed Biceps so hard my delts were too sore to train so those lateral raises were done with 3lb dumbells and I skipped Back Flys. Tried Bike Crunches but I could feel them only hitting my hip adductor thingys so nooooope.
OK time to grind, probably going to be a half day.
AM Weight: 97.75 Not surprised. Yesterday we went to HEB and they had a Peanut Butter Cup Cookie but it had like ALL the peanut butter cups on it and since I am like 30 weeks out from anything I thought why not. I had another pastry too and some of Mi Suegra’s cooking also definitely not on the Bikini Prep Menu.
Hamstrings
Deads
2 at 545
3x10 at 365
HB Squats
2-10-10 at 140
2x10 at 230
10 at 320
Hamstring Curls
Quads and Knees been a bit sore lately so I decided to be Proactive and have a Hamstring Day. The Deadlifts themselves were not that bad but combing that with even that amount of Squatting holy fkn shit. That workout took 2 hours. I am fried. My hamstrings have never felt like this. Also the Forearm pump was real AF after 2 sets of 10. After the 3rd I thought I pulled something. I am struggling to eat just so I can go take a nap but I am not even sure I can sleep.
LOL I am Not Smart I honked at a buddy of mine as he was leaving the gym and we were arriving. He’s deaf. Another funny part about that is he sometimes wears headphones in the gym. We all have those days, headphones in and dear world please fk off while I get this pump.
OK gonna try and nap and I might take the rest of the day off idk.
AM Stats: 98.2kg 90cm Vacuum HIgh day carb day for a 2 a day…I think. Not 100% on that.
MOTHA FKN FOOOOODDDD!!! I know I shouldnt be doing a high day after gaining weight this week but honestly I think most of it is lean mass…which I know what you are thinking really? My answer is Yes, Treneally. LOL My waist is the same size despite being up in weight so obv glycogen and other stuff but probably not a lot of fat. Main target diet wise this week was to cut the junk anyways so if that means I need to eat a bit more to curb cravings then so be it.
Boobies
Bench Press
5x5 at 335 (HUGE FKN PR)
Dum OHP 15 at 70s
Cross Press
Cable Fly
Unilateral Rope Triceps Extension
2 Weeks ago a 5x5 at 315 was huge PR. Well we added 20lbs to that today (after not a lot of sleep and wrecking myself yesterday with Legs) so LETS FKN GOOOO!!! I might need to run a taper.
AM Weight: 97.25kg…WTF? Had a high day yesterday. Then when I over spilled hard I said fk it and went nuts with cheats (easily a 4k day) so to wake up having lost a kilo WTF?
In this episode of So you wanna be Enhanced? my night sweats were fkn brutal last night. I woke up a couple times completely soaked and freezing. Fun stuff. Only an idiot would use Tren, or Nandrolone for that matter.
The Most Torreon Thing Ever 2 Confirmed cases of Corona Virus in Mexico. Obv one of them is in Torreon. I know the death rate is under 1% but I went from certain we would be fine to pretty sure we are all gonna die because Torreon.
Back
Pullups
T-Bar Rows
Uni Lat Pulldown
Uni Cable Row
Back Fly
Tried T-Bar rows instead of Yates Rows but I think Yates Rows are better for what I want to do. T-Bar Rows would be a great finisher though.
OK gonna enjoy my last few hours on earth before me and all of Torreon fk up the Death Rate of the Corona Virus. I am certain Corona has to be the cure to some of these issues LOL
Program: OM-1800 Completely random letters assigned for this code name. I know I said I was retired but a kid can dream. Some of these numbers are percentages, some scripted linear and some even RPE. Not sure if Comp Squat would be High Bar or Low bar. Deadlift would also need to come up before starting this program.
Special Episode of So You Want to Be Enhanced: But Coach Said A friend of mine is having heart palpitations and panic attacks. She has been running Clen for 2 months like no fkn shit. She has no idea about the difference between micrograms and milligrams (meaning her coach doesn’t know) which is pretty important for Clen. Her bodyfat is also like 20% above where you would even consider a fat burner because if you can’t get lower than she is with out a burner then a burner isn’t going to help…but her diet is on point. FFS PEOPLE DO NOT TRUST OTHER PEOPLE WITH YOUR HEALTH!!!
AM Stats: 98.4kg / 90.5cm Vacuum / 20.3% Bodyfat not bad considering the weekend but now it’s back to stricter dieting. Goal will is to be sub 96kg by Saturday.
Diet Adjustment: Fk Fiber I am going to stop caring about fiber. I will switch to a rice base instead of potato. The positives of this are that I will enjoy my food more, it will be faster to digest and cause a ton less bloat and my diet can be infinitely flexible. The major draw back is that going to the bathroom is going to suck. If my diet is on point though that will only be an issue every 2-3 days. Another drawback is that I am going to be hungrier a lot more.
Why Fiber Works: A Bros Perspective Fiber works because your body doesn’t digest it. However your body can’t really digest anything you don’t normally eat. It has to adapt gut bacteria for the new food. I think this is why potatoes haven’t really been working for me lately as a fiber source. Actually pretty much all fiber sources run their course quickly for me. This is another reason why I am giving up on fiber.
Hamstrings
Deadlift
3 at 545
3x10 at 315
Squats
2x10 at 140
3x20 at 230
Ugh. Pretty rough. Went a smidge lighter on stuff today.
AM Stats: 98.6kg (oops) Vacuum 90.5 (ok) not even a little surprised I gained weight. I was super thirsty all day yesterday and pretty much never hungry. I will probably gain again today then make the “calorie” adjustments needed. Pretty sure with rice I will need to be around 2200 rather than the 2800 I was eating with potatoes. Even if I just maintain weight though I think I am making serious muscle gainz.
PR NATION STAND DA FK UP
Bench
2 at 420 (PR)
Board Press
3x10 at 255 (PR)
Dum OHP 30 w/ 55s
Cross Press with 1 wheel (PR)
V-Bar Press Downs
My delts have not been this healthy since before I switched to Low Bar and my strength is reflecting that. This is probably the strongest my bench has ever been but I am 4-5kg lighter than the prior time.
And totally added Board Press back in for BBing reasons, not because I thought my lockout got slow again.
PM Back Workout
Pullups 3x10
Yates Row 5x10 at 225
Uni Lat Pulldown
Uni Cable Row
Lateral Raises
As awesome as my Boobie workout was this one was just as awesome. I absolutely love the Unilateral Cable Row. It hits the lats just like a Close Grip Row BUT it’s Unilateral so better.
K I’m too tired to eat. It’s 7pm and I just want to sleep but I need a post workout meal.
